Okay, I’ll admit it.

By the end of my first and only day at the school, I ended up killing someone.

I felt bad about it. I know that didn't make it alright but give me some credit at least for not being a complete heel about things.

It's not like I planned on doing it. It was a spur-of-the-moment action fueled by frustration at how the last couple of days had been going for me. I was hungry, I was tired, I was being accused of attempted murder and worst of all, I was dealing with the irrational, hormonal mindset that comes with being a teenager again. Authority figures kept yelling at me and accusing me of things I hadn’t done, promising that I would soon be severely punished, and…well, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, so in a dark moment, I lashed out at the first available target.

It’s not ordinarily my style to lose control like that, I swear it isn’t. But I have to take full responsibility for my behavior. Yes, my circumstances were bad, but that doesn’t excuse me from my obligation to conduct myself civilly. I needed to stop behaving like a bewildered wild animal. My survival in this world would depend on maintaining self-control.

So, Mea Culpa oh random guard whose name I didn’t know. May you rest in peace. I’m sorry for losing my cool and for storing your dead body in my inventory where it will never be discovered, which in turn will lead your loved ones to wonder for the rest of their lives where you vanished. That’s a cruel thing to put another person through, let alone an entire family, but if it’s any comfort, they’re all mortal, so they’ll surely die from natural causes within a few short decades. That means you won’t have to wait long before you’re reunited with them.

Also, I’ve now acquired your stealth ability, thanks to the Gore Grimoire, so for what it’s worth, know that your death was not in vein.

I’m sorry. I threw in a little vampire humor at the end in an attempt to lighten the mood. I’m terrible at levity. I need to try harder to improve at it so that more people can feel relaxed in my presence.

Just another goal to shoot for.

__

Earlier in the day, I was led inside the halls of the Vandal Academy while being flanked by two armed guards. First, we stopped by an examination room where I was ordered by a woman in a white coat to release the remains of the three dead members of my party from my inventory, as well as any remaining supplies from the mission.

After complying, I was then taken to a small, poorly lit room, where I was seated across a table from a portly, middle-aged man with graying hair in a navy-blue uniform, which I had begun to recognize as the standard garb for instructors in this institute.

This fellow stared at me silently for a bit, as though he were appraising my value as a person. From the frown he wore, I guess the conclusion he reached wasn’t a generous one. Facial expressions like that were usually reserved for people who’d accidentally stepped on excrement while wearing new shoes.

Poor Kyler Evans. It seemed that he had been a boy who truly impressed no one. Wasn’t there anyone at this place who’d been on his side?

The stranger interrupted my thoughts by sliding a piece of paper and a pen over to me before saying, “Sign it,” in a bored and impatient voice.

“Sign it?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “Quickly, please.”

“No,” I replied. “Not without knowing what it is.”

“You’re really going to drag this out?” he asked me unhappily.

“I’m afraid I must,” I said unsympathetically.

“It’s a confession to the murder of three of your fellow students,” the man said. “And the attempted murder of Lady Anikka Velas.”

Ah.

Well, then.

“A murder confession?” I asked incredulously. “I got off the transport less than ten minutes ago and you’re already trying to pin this nonsense on me?”

“You call the deaths of three brave and talented future hunters as well as the attempted slaying of a member of a prominent noble household, nonsense?” the man asked me with another, deeper frown.

“Certainly not,” I said. “Especially not when such tragic circumstances have the potential to negatively affect my own future. But I think it’s obvious to anyone with eyes and a brain that I committed no such foul acts.”

The man gazed at me in surprise before replying. “You’re not quite how I expected you to be. A little more articulate than was implied in your student profile.”

“I’ve been working on improving my vocabulary,” I replied dryly.

“So, I see,” he said as he made an exaggerated display of opening a manila folder and flipping through the papers within. “Kyler Evans: a probationary basic course student. Notable for having a sizeable personal inventory, but otherwise unremarkable by all other applicable means of measurement.”

I said nothing but listened very carefully to his words. Finally, some useful background information on the boy whose body I’d received! I kept my expression neutral so that he wouldn’t see how excited I was to learn more about myself.

“You’re certainly nothing in comparison to your older half-brother, Patrick Stonefaith,” he continued. “We’re all very proud of Patrick, as I’m sure you know. A warrior with A-rank potential, already reaching C-rank by the age of eighteen. An unprecedented talent, invited into serving the Velas family, and winning the heart of Lady Thalia with his grace and charm. It’s a story for the ages.”

Oh, so Patrick and I were only half-siblings, eh? That somewhat explained his disdainful attitude towards me. Brother dearest was moving up in the world and could only view me, a porter, as a shabby embarrassment that marred his glory.

I think that was enough information for me to decide that I disliked him.

I cannot abide familial disloyalty. Be a jumped-up little lordling if it made you feel special, but don’t spit on someone just because they don’t share your talents. Especially if they’re of your blood.

It seemed no matter where I went, I’d always be saddled with family disfunction.

“It’s a shame you’ll never come close to matching his achievements,” the man continued. “Even though your relation to him was what allowed you to be admitted to this fine institution, I’m sure the jealousy you felt must have been great. You must have burned with envy at the honor and privilege that were soon to be his. Anger at the new family that uplifted him and left you behind for a future of mediocrity at best, and squalor at worst. Do you hate them, Mr. Evans? Do you hate the great Velas family for taking him to the top and leaving you in the gutter? Do you yearn in your heart for a seat alongside the nobility?”

The nobility…

This new world, while similar in so many ways to my old one, was also so very, very strange. To hear an American of all beings, fawning over a noble family just didn’t feel right. I mean, the United States of my world had always possessed gaping inequities in class that allowed their wealthy minority to openly reign over their dystopian society, but they always at least pretended to espouse egalitarian values.

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Just how badly had things gone wrong to lead these people to embrace this neo-feudalism? And how far did it extend? Was there also now an American monarchy? Were school children required to recite the pledge of allegiance before vigorously chanting long-live the king?

I really wanted a damn history book.

The man slammed his fist on the table to regain my attention. “Am I disturbing you, Mr. Evans?” he snapped.

Ah, it would appear my mind had been wandering again.

“Sorry, sorry,” I said. “I’m still wrapping my head around the concept of landed gentry in the states.”

“Are you an equalist, Mr. Evans?” the stranger suddenly asked. “Oh, that explains so much about your behavior. Decided to take a shot at your betters while safe from the prying eyes of others in the dungeon, didn’t you? How pathetic.”

“I take it an equalist is someone opposed to the current way our nation operates?” I asked him. After he gave an exaggerated nod, I next asked, “And how am I supposed to have, as you phrased it, taken a shot at my betters? I’m a porter. I carry the luggage. That’s not an impressive power to wield against true hunters.”

“Lady Anikka informed us that you poisoned the food you were carrying for your team,” he told me with a sharkish smirk. “She said that her retainers began behaving sluggishly shortly after taking a meal break. That after eating, their performance plummeted, which was what allowed a mere level five F-rank boss to defeat and devour them.”

“Is that so?” I asked, impressed by the cleverness of the lie.

“It explains everything,” the man said smugly. “Including how a porter was able to kill a goblin chieftain. You just sat back and let the poison seep from their bodies into him. Even a weakling like you would have been able to handle him if he was already dying.”

“And how did I acquire this supremely effective poison?” I asked him. “A toxin this powerful wouldn’t be easy to get my hands on, would it? And while we’re at it, what’s the name of this murderous brew?”

“That has yet to be determined—” he blustered.

“No, that means you haven’t yet decided what it is,” I countered. “You’re so obviously framing me, it’s comical! I’m not signing this.”

I pushed the paper back to him and crossed my arms to see what would happen next. It wasn’t a long wait. The official nodded at the guard standing behind me, and I was struck at the back of my head and sent crashing to the floor.

“Ow,” I mumbled.

“The pointless prevarication of this pitiful porter will not prevent your punishment, Mr. Evans,” my accuser said. “It’s Lady Anikka’s word against yours. Accept your loss like a man and confess your crimes.”

“I saved her life,” I said angrily.

“You endangered it!” he shouted. “Oh, but was that the reason behind your actions? Engineered heroics? Did you want to save Lady Anikka from harm like a true hero and receive the praise and admiration of your peers? Was that the reason three brave youths had to die by your cowardly hands? If so, what a monstrous misdeed!”

“I swear, the people around here are in love with alliteration,” I said as I brushed myself off and resumed my seat. “What’s her class?” I asked.

“Your pardon?” he replied.

“What’s Lady Anikka’s class? I’m so curious,” I repeated.

“She’s an apothecary with B-rank potential,” he said. “One blessed with the capability to one day evolve into the advanced class, Alchemist. As expected of a member of the Velas household.”

After hearing this, I sighed loudly and gave him a frank look. “Sir, did I hear you correctly? Lady Anikka is an apothecary. Is that right?”

Understanding dawned swiftly in his eyes.

“You get it now, I see,” I said to him, now matching his prior smugness with my own. “I’m a classless joke. Even if I wanted to poison a hunter, aren’t you people all but indestructible to things that would harm a mundane human? An E-rank poison resistance would let you guzzle a can of Raid without feeling even the slightest bit of indigestion.”

I had no way of knowing if that was true or if Raid even existed in this world. But I must have guessed correctly due to the grim expression the man was now wearing.

“An apothecary, though?” I continued. “I bet one of those could easily whip up something that could take out a hunter or three. I repeat, easily. And just because I carried the food didn’t mean I was the one who prepared it. Anikka’s a noble! Even on a mission, I doubt she or her retainers would eat anything prepared for commoners like me. Rich kids have fancy tastes! I bet she and her sister have a personal chef of their own, don’t they?”

He said nothing, so I continued.

“If they did, then who exactly had the time and the ability to prepare an effective poison? Who had plenty of access to the food? Who was closer to the victims? Huh? God, you’re all so stupid. So stupid and arrogant and lazy.”

“What did you just say to me?” he bellowed.

“I didn’t eat the food,” I said mockingly.

(Kyler Evans had already been dead before they had their meal. I could tell that this body hadn't been recently fed when I first awoke inside of it.)

“Therefore," I continued. "I didn’t succumb to the poison, therefore once more, I’m a loose end. For whatever reason, Anikka decided the three of them had to go. Probably because of the endless games that the upper class are always playing with each other. Doesn’t this sound like something they’d do? It sure as hell does to me! And you’re clearly, blatantly, in on it! So, I’m not signing shit, I’m not participating in this farce, and I insist on legal representation. I’m going to scream my innocence to the world, you vexatious lackey! Even if that’s not enough to get anyone to listen to me, I’ll do it anyway just to be annoying! Kiss my ass, I’ll confess to nothing!”

And it was at that moment that they promptly beat me within an inch of my life.

I woke up in a cell, bloodied and humiliated and feeling quite wrathful. When the door opened an hour later so that a tray of food could be delivered to me, I’m afraid I lost track of my senses in my urge to lash out. When I came to after a few moments lost to a red haze of anger, a nameless guard lay before me on the ground, sans throat and pulse.

In my hand, I held his heart. Apparently, I’d just added another skill to my Gore Grimoire. Just outside the door, I saw another guard resting on a stool with his eyes shut, taking a nap. He hadn’t seen anything. I must have taken the other one in silence.

That was good. Even in a predatory haze, I’d acted with discretion.

But when had I shifted into my undead form? I must have done so instinctively upon awakening. That meant the injuries I received during my interrogation had been life threatening. Dangerous enough to require me to transform. Which had left my vampire-self hungry enough to attack a stranger.

Technically not my fault, but still a shameful lack of control. I can do better. I must do better.

After hiding the corpse in my inventory, I sat on my bunk and considered the options available to me. It was obvious that Anikka was using her family connections to pressure the academy officials to side with her version of events. Despite my earlier claim, I had no chance of changing anyone’s mind. My supposed brother would support her as well, and I apparently had no friends of my own, so there’d be no one to speak up for me.

I wouldn’t get so much as a character reference.

I felt a brief but powerful urge for bloody vengeance which I promptly set aside. I refused to be provoked any further. This was nothing in the greater scheme of things. Who cared if some silly child’s games had momentarily inconvenienced me? I was immortal and she was a mayfly. I doubt I’d even remember her name next week.

No, how I’d gotten into these circumstances was unimportant. What mattered was extricating myself from this situation and doing so in a manner that would completely throw off my new enemies. I needed to vanish from their radar in such a way that they’d never even think to pursue me. Fortunately for me, there was one foolproof method of achieving that. And it’s very easy to do when you’re already a walking corpse.

With my course of action now decided, I removed the dead guard’s sword from my inventory and used it to impale myself in the gut.

“What are you doing? NOOOOOOO!” I screamed melodramatically, before dropping to the floor. When my cell door was opened, the head watcher stared at me in bewilderment before kneeling at my side.

“Kid, what the hell happened here?” he asked with wide eyes.

“The other guard! He…h-he’s killed me. Why? I was… innocent,” I moaned before falling still.

“Kid? Who? You’re saying Reg did this? What’s going on? Kid, hold on! I’ll get some help…kid? NOOO! Kid!” he shouted as he shook my body, trying to get a response.

Well, he seemed like a nice guy. It made me glad that I killed the other fellow instead of him.

Within two hours of my “murder,” they buried me in a shallow grave. No paperwork involved. I overheard my interrogator speaking while they cleaned up the scene. To avoid any sort of controversy, they needed me to quietly vanish.

“Sir, even if he was suspected of a crime, a minor was still slain. Can we really just sweep this aside?” asked someone with a lot of scruples but little in the way of commons sense.

“You have your instructions,” barked the interrogator as I was being sealed inside a large black bag.

I’d be listed as KIA in the goblin’s lair. All parties involved would be sworn to secrecy to protect the reputations of both the school and Anikka Velas. As for the guard I’d framed for the deed, they assumed he did it to curry favor with the Velas family and wrote him off.

Now I was free of their game. And free to play games of my own if I later decided. But that could wait for another time. What mattered most to me now was taking a moment to myself to relax.

A peaceful day of sleep beneath the earth was exactly what I needed. I usually sleep on a soft mattress, so I’d forgotten how restful it can be to rest in a grave. I honestly don’t believe I’ve slept that well in decades. How blissful. How restorative.

Well, soon enough I’d need the energy. I’ll was going to be very busy.

It was time to start grinding levels.