Two hundred years after the Vampire Apocalypse, in the castle of the Lord of Blood, Kyler Stragos...

…Mayner gave an agonized shriek of pain when I caught his kick in midair and wrenched his leg from his hip with a moist popping sound. I then used my magic to seize control of the blood that spurted from his wound and transformed the liquid into a solid strand of ribbon which quickly wrapped itself around the rest of his body in a diagonal pattern which pulled itself taut, dicing him into a mound of thick wet cubes of meat that cluttered the floor of my throne room.

Hemokinesis. That was the name of the ability to mentally manipulate blood. It’s not the kindest power in the world, but then again, I am a Vampire Lord. Kindness isn’t a trait that’s expected of me. Besides, Mayner started it. Assembling this silly little raid and invading my home with the intention of, how had he put it? Bringing me to justice for my innumerable trespasses against humanity and delivering me to final judgement!

He had an excellent speaking voice. I could have listened to him rant about my crimes for hours before eating him. He ignored my request to repeat himself, though. That was a sad moment for me and an utter tragedy for him and his friends.

It’s now been fifteen minutes since our dance began and things aren’t looking too well for Mayner’s little gathering of heroes. Mayner himself has just been cubed and only a dozen of the thirty he brought with him are still standing. All of them are hollow-eyed and on the verge of animal panic, especially now that their leader is dead. If any of them wanted to flee, I felt no obligation to chase after them. I’d already seen their faces and caught their scents. I could hunt them down at my leisure.

Then again, they’d made a terrible mess of my residence. It wouldn’t do to let such behavior slide. I’m a bit obsessive about arranging things exactly how I like them, but now the whole area was cluttered with destroyed objects and mutilated corpses.

Yeah, looking at what they’d done annoyed me. Okay, I’ll just kill them all and be done with it. Or maybe I’d just kill most of them and let the survivors clean the place up first. Then I’d kill them afterwards

That seemed fair.

I wonder though, should I congratulate them for lasting this long or should I taunt them for failing to deliver on Mayner's threats? As I ruminated over the proper course of action to take, my final opponent appeared before me.

How best to describe this young beauty? She had silver hair which she kept tied back over a flawless-looking face. Over her athletic frame, she wore enameled plate armor with golden highlights. Despite her serene expression, her gray eyes blazed with a warrior's righteous certainty, and in her hands, she carried a spear that emanated a disturbing light, the presence of which made my undead flesh recoil.

Just by observing her calm approach, I somehow knew that my doom had finally found me.

For the first time in centuries, I knew fear.

“Oh, shoot,” I said to myself, just before she began her attack.

Dodging her wasn’t easy, which was the first indication of how much trouble I was in. You see, dodging a strike delivered by a mortal should always be easy. After all, I’m nearly twenty times faster than any human being that ever lived. This girl shouldn’t have been able to perceive my movements. That didn't stop her from launching a furious series of vigorous thrusts at my face and torso, all of which I narrowly avoided with no time to deliver a counterattack of my own.

In frustration, I leaped into the air and floated there, safely out of her reach. My powers allowed me to not only control any external sources of blood, but I could also control that which flowed within my own veins. By infusing it with my magic, I could fly and augment my strength and speed to levels which dwarfed even vampiric norms.

While that was usually enough for me to win, for occasions like today, when I was facing a truly tenacious foe like this girl, I preferred to mold spilled blood into weaponry and attack from a safe distance. It was cowardly but highly effective.

Raising my hands before the blood-soaked room below me, I willed dozens of edged weapons into existence from the gore that coated my floor and bid them to rise into the air alongside me. Then I pointed towards my opponent and sent them flying at her in an unending stream of certain death.

If I was the sort of egotist who named his favorite attacks, I think I would have called this one Bloody Rain. Didn’t that have a certain charm to it?

Sadly, despite the large quantity of my munitions, the girl parried, blocked, and danced away from everything I threw at her. Her precise movements and unshakable poise were beyond any other human’s that I’d ever seen. Who was she? What was her grievance?

More importantly, could I beat her?

I received my answer a moment later.

Before I could defend myself, she suddenly launched herself into the air above me and with one perfectly delivered overhead kick to the top of my head, she smashed me painfully to the ground. Just as I regained my legs, she threw her weapon at me.

Wasn’t that unsporting of her? I thought it was.

In a flash, her holy spear pierced my chest, pinning me firmly in place to the stone wall behind me. I screamed in pain, and struggled to dislodge it, but I could feel my many powers being weakened and suppressed and I knew in that moment that I had finally been defeated. After a thousand years of bloody revelry, someone had finally stepped forth to put me in my place.

It felt so anticlimactic.

I’m one of the four great Vampire Lords. Over the years of my impossible span of existence, I’ve dueled demigods, saints, and legendary chosen warriors. I even stood my ground against that brief but terrible superhero fad, where it seemed like every orphaned alien and maladjusted billionaire with repressed sexuality, was determined to put on an outlandish costume and vent their wrath on whichever socially acceptable target of the day they could pummel half to death with their leather gloved fists.

No matter who my opponents were or however much power they wielded, I always found a way to either win or survive. That was the benefit of being beyond death and growing stronger as I aged. Time would always be on my side.

Except for today, it seemed.

After a few more half-hearted attempts to remove the spear, I sighed and let my hands fall away from it. It looked like there was no getting out of this one. If I struggled any further, it would only hurt my public image. I had a legacy to consider. If this was the night where I finally met my end, then I would do so calmly.

I owed that to myself.

Honestly, I couldn’t deny that I had this coming. I hadn’t been a very kind person. To put it bluntly, I’d been a complete monster who killed quite a few people over the years. And when I say quite a few, I mean quite a few.

Want to hear an amusing story? Once, in a fit of anger, I painted an entire block of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, red with the blood of its residents. Not by myself, of course; I had a lot of help. Mostly mind controlled first responders and a few lesser vampires that I bullied into pitching in. Surprisingly, a lot of the locals assisted as well. Not because I forced them to do it, but because many Philadelphians were dead inside and took malicious joy in spreading suffering.

I miss them.

It took us a while to get the job done, but we made it into a sort of community project and gave it our best effort. It really wasn’t worth it, though. Blood doesn’t stay that vibrant red color for very long and in massive quantities, it draws a lot of flies.

So many flies…

Still, while the final results might have been disappointing, I treasured my memories of that day. Getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, and trying something a little different. It really had been fun. I wonder how everyone's been since then? I mean, the humans were obviously all dead by now, even the ones who didn't get dined upon, and Philidelphia has been a radioactive crater for the last seventy years. But maybe I should have seen if any of those other vampires were still around?

It's so hard to maintain connections.

It was strange to realize that I couldn't even remember what had originally made me so angry that day. Time flows through us and leaves us with our broader recollections while taking away all the fine details. The past becomes so insubstantial that even a deathless existence like mine can’t hold on to its nuance. In the end, we're all just sieves attempting to hold on to our identities.

That made me feel a bit melancholic. But such is the nature of this ephemeral world. It’s foolish to lament over things that can’t be changed.

“Why aren’t you begging?” a cold female voice asked me, shaking me out of my depressing thoughts.

“I beg your pardon?” I replied sarcastically. It was the girl who’d spoken to me.

“I asked why you weren't pleading for your life,” she said. “This is the end for you. All of you. You’re the last of the Vampire Lords. Without you to make others of your kind, your species will die out within a century.”

“Ah,” I said, now understanding her point. “And you believe that concern for the lesser members of my race should somehow compel me to beg for your mercy?”

“If you cared for them at all,” she said.

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“Well, that’s the problem right there, I’m afraid,” I said with a small laugh.

“How can anyone be so selfish?” she frowned. “I’ve now struck the final blow against the darkness. Plead for your life.”

“To begin with, I don't have a life to plead for,” I informed her. “I'm already dead. I could also care less what happens to any other vampire. By infernal design, we’re a race of murdering parasites. If we're truly falling into extinction, then it's what we deserve.”

“You’re only pretending to be calm,” she said accusingly. “You’re just trying to rob my victory of its sweetness.”

“I’m really not,” I said with as much of a shrug as my shoulders could provide while being pinned to a wall. “I’d much prefer our current positions were reversed. But what can be done? Wishing won't change anything so why make a production over it?”

“I hate that,” she said angrily. “After everything you’ve done, you should be afraid! You be remorseful! You’re a monster, Kyler Stragos! You don’t deserve peace of mind! It isn’t fair.”

“Believe it or not, I concede your point,” I said. “But when has fairness ever factored into anything relevant? That’s a concept that exists outside of nature.”

“As if an undead abomination has the right to speak of natural law,” she scoffed.

“Even if I transcend and defy the laws of nature and man, I can still make a neutral observation,” I replied. “A criminal is still permitted to have an opinion.”

“A criminal? So, you admit you deserve a greater punishment?” asked the girl.

“I already said so,” I replied. “Unfortunately for you, I’m a soulless thing. A simulacrum of a living being. I may bear the shape of a man but never his spirit. I can be destroyed, but I can’t truly be punished. No hell awaits me, just the endless dark. Sorry if that makes your victory seem pointless.”

“Don’t listen to him, Sophia,” said one of the survivors. A burly looking young man with handsome, rugged features. His was the sort of swaggering masculinity that would have offended an insecure Athenian. I felt a little bad for scarring him. Or rather, I did, before he pulled out a large silver-edged knife which he swiped viciously across my face.

“Ouch,” I said mildly.

“The pain is just beginning for you, bastard,” he spat, before plunging the knife repeatedly into my torso.

He wasn’t wrong, I suppose. It was extremely painful. But pain is something I’ve learned to ignore over the years. After a while, it just became another distant sensation. Another flavor of experience. Hot or cold. Mild or spicey. Pleasure or pain.

It was all the same, really.

“Enough, Thomas,” the girl, Sophia, said gently as she placed her hand on my tormentor’s shoulder. “Don’t sully yourself on this vile thing.”

“He killed Mayner,” Thomas said with tears in his eyes. “He killed all of them. All of our friends! Played with us like our lives meant nothing…”

“Your lives don't mean anything,” I chimed in helpfully.

“SHUT UP!” he screamed before dragging his blade across my throat. Ouch, again. He’d nicked my vocal cords. Now I couldn’t speak anymore.

Not that he seemed to care.

“Thomas, stop,” Sophia said, more firmly this time. Thomas began sobbing and let the knife drop from his fingers. She embraced him and whispered soothingly into his ear as he trembled with anger and grief and hugged her back, no longer a warrior, but a survivor in severe mental anguish.

Hmm. It was quite an intense interaction. Seeing their physiological reactions to each other told me those two were definitely going to be having sex later in the evening.

Well, who could blame them? They looked good together. I’ve heard secondhand that copulating after a near death experience felt exhilarating. I couldn’t confirm it myself, though. I’ve been so powerful for so long that if I’ve ever personally experienced survival sex, I’ve long since forgotten it. I’ve had loads of victory sex, but something tells me it’s not of the same quality. Probably because it lacked the elements of adrenaline and intense emotionality.

Ugh, watching these two together was quickly growing aggravating. I really did wish I could murder them both.

Sometimes while walking alone at night, I’d see a pair of young lovers doting on each other with sincere affection. The mere sight of their blissful contentment would set me off and I'd begin wishing with all my heart that they would drop dead on the spot. That all lovers everywhere would immediately die wherever they were and never again sting my heart with their malefic presence.

Why am I a thousand years old and still so resentful of happy couples? Where did that aggression even come from? It had to be because of my own marital troubles. I had three beautiful wives, but I didn’t like any of them and they each hated me as well. Most of the time we avoided each other entirely, but occasionally we had to appear publicly for social events.

It was so stressful.

If I could give one valuable piece of advice to any younger vampires, male or female, it would be this: don’t convert powerful enemy warriors into one of us and force them to marry you. It’s incredibly stupid. Yes, it’s natural to be attracted to a competent fighter who defies your will and resists you to the very end, especially if they’re physically appealing, and equally intrigued by you.

But don't give in! Resist the urge to raise them from death to become your groom or bride! Remember, gifting them with eternity doesn’t mean they'll stop being your enemy. It just means that they've become immortal and now they have all the time in the world to make you pay for your hasty decision! Once that brief haze of lust passes, an eternity of suffering will be yours.

But if you couldn’t stop yourself the first time, then at least make certain not to repeat the error ever again. Harems are an immature fantasy for mentally unstable masochists. No matter how up to the challenge you delude yourself into thinking you are, they’ll always be united against you!

How had Dracula done it? Kept three wives satisfied and gone for two more? He must have had a talent for maintaining relationships, a skill for which I have no knack. It’s so embarrassing that I’m still so lacking as an individual.

When will I finally mature?

Probably not today since Sophia intended to kill me.

If only this spear wasn’t so powerful! Where had she gotten this thing? It felt like a relic of some sort. Something that was even older than I was. Far older. A weapon that had possibly slain beings more powerful than I would ever be. Didn't using it against me seem like overkill? Whatever happened to facing your opponent fairly? This new generation of hunters clearly had no sense of sportsmanship.

I wonder, though. Had Sophia been telling the truth when she said I was the last of the Vampire Lords? I hadn’t been paying much attention to anyone else’s circumstances, but now that I thought of it, it had been a while since I last contacted any members of the old gang.

We’d all gone our separate ways shortly after those damn cultivators and their celestial ancestor had defeated great Crusica, the Emperor of undeath, but I was sure someone else would eventually take up our fallen leader's mantle and get the wheels of domination rolling again. I suppose that would no longer be the case.

Huh. A world without vampires. What would that be like?

More specific to my interests, a world without me in it. Would that even be a world worth living in?

I didn’t think it would be. But I’m biased on this matter.

If only there were a way I could screw over these heroes at the last minute. That would feel so nice. Unfortunately, Sophia’s accursed spear was sealing my abilities. No blood manipulation, no mind control or superhuman strength and speed. Just me, pinned to the wall like a dead beetle to a bit of Styrofoam.

Were there truly no options left to me? It seemed so unfair.

Oh, wait. Maybe there was something I could do.

It’s widely known that vampires are incapable of standing before the light of the sun. Solar energy is incredibly harmful to us, but not because of what most people believe.

Sunlight didn’t hurt us because we were weak against it; The actual problem was that our bodies absorb it too readily. Vampires crave sunlight almost as much as we do blood. It's a consequence of existing in utter darkness. We wanted sunlight badly. We just couldn’t handle it; we absorb it in such quantity that it overloads our capacity to contain it and causes us to explode.

That’s right. We explode. It all depended upon the age of the vampire; the greater our reserves of power, the more solar energy we absorbed and the more violent the detonation became when we finally went. Lowly lesser vampires would puff out of existence into an ignoble pile of dust. But ones at my level?

I had no way of knowing, really. No one my age had ever done it. But some three-hundred-year-old twerp had been caught in an ambush a few decades back and brought down an entire skyscraper when he went off. Who knew what sort of havoc I’d cause in my death throes?

I now found myself looking forward to finding out.

The key to my victory would be the spear. My body was reading the magical light it exhuded as sunlight. It was agonizing, but that no longer mattered. Instead of resisting, I began quietly pulling the energy inside of myself, flooding my body with it, like a tick clamping on to a fresh vein.

It hurt. It hurt so much, but I still couldn’t keep the triumphant grin off my face. Whoever this Sophia was, and however she had acquired her skills and this damnable spear, I would never know. But I didn’t care anymore because she still wasn’t going to win.

Closer and closer the clock ticked towards the coming of the end. I could feel the power swelling within me. Oddly enough, the spear tried to resist me. Wasn’t that something? It was as though the weapon possessed a will of its own. How sad that it was too late to stop me.

Sophia! I thought I heard someone cry out in a voice tinged with panic.

Sophia looked away from her lover with a startled expression on her face as she looked at me and realized that something had gone horribly awry. Pushing past him, she ran to me and grabbed the spear, trying to pull it free of me, only for me to grab ahold of it and keep it in place.

“What are you doing?” she yelled with growing fear.

I really wanted to say, “I’m taking you with me, you impudent nobody!”

Sadly, I still couldn’t speak thanks to that idiot Thomas and his knife.

So instead, I settled for laughing maniacally as I drew in more of the spear’s power. All over my body, glowing cracks begin to erupt from my skin as I grew closer to exploding.

Around the throne room, the survivors looked upon us and realized what was happening. The terror they expressed once they realized that they weren’t going to escape with their lives was immensely gratifying.

Just as I prepared to release myself to oblivion, a blue notice screen suddenly appeared before my eyes.

Huh. That was unexpected.

[Congratulations Lord Kyler Stragos!] the sign told me.

[You have successfully corrupted the holy artifact, Spear of Dawn (replica.)]

Had I? Well, how about that. A final feather in my cap at the conclusion of a long and mostly satisfying existence. The sudden appearance of this screen didn’t bother me very much. When you’ve been around for as long as I have, it’s not difficult to adjust to unexpected things.

[For your success, you will be rewarded accordingly!] said the screen.

I would? That seemed unlikely, considering I was seconds away from exploding.

[See you soon!]

Okay, whatever you say, status screen. However brief our acquaintanceship, it was a pleasure meeting you.

“Let go of it!” screamed Sophia as our final moment came. “Let go!”

And that was exactly what I did.

I let go.

I’m pretty sure I took the entire castle with me.

Heh, stick me with a spear, will you? Serves all of you right.

And now darkness.

__

Followed by confusion.

When I opened my eyes, the back of my head exploded with pain. Not a literal explosion; I’d already done that earlier. No, I just mean that I was experiencing a dreadful headache. I gingerly placed the palm of my hand against the back of my skull and was surprised to see it covered in red when I examined it.

I had a head-wound.

But since when could a vampire lord suffer a lasting wound?

And while I was asking questions pertaining to my current situation, why was I also naked?

And also, alive?

That was the biggest surprise of all. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. I was also breathing in air, not because I was merely filling my lungs to project my words to someone else's ears, but rather, it was because I needed to circulate oxygen throughout my bloodstream in order for my internal organs to function.

This was so wild! I’d forgotten what having to breathe felt like! I felt so...human!

But my enjoyment of these novel sensations aside, what precisely was happening here?

To my left appeared four small, ugly-looking beings with scabrous, mottled green skin, wearing rotting loin cloths and bearing old, rusted weaponry. They grinned wickedly as they approached me. I’d never seen anything like them before, but their ill intentions towards me were clear.

“I’m new here,” I said with a boy’s unsteady voice. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to guide me to the exit?”

Instead of answering my question, they laughed nastily in reply and encircled me.

Okay, I'm just going to assume that was a no.