My goal for the next day was to discover where the Redcaps had been raiding their supplies. I realized last night after cleaning out the rest of the lair that there had to be a settlement nearby to explain the barrels of water and beer as well as the salted food I’d discovered in the center of their hideout.

Preparing foodstuffs and storing potable water wasn’t an activity that such lowly creatures were known for. But stealing from those who could sounded exactly right. So, after indulging in a deep slumber that went well past noon, I set off with Schulz and Rachel in tow to find out who else shared these wilds with me.

The heat of the afternoon sun on my skin felt glorious. I was so distracted by the pleasure of it that I wanted nothing more than to park myself on a field of soft grass and bask in its radiance like a housecat beneath an open window. How can humans find such continual misery in their lives? Why were they so quarrelsome towards each other in the face of such contentment?

Didn’t they realize they could eat and sleep whenever they wanted? They could pass their lives in joy and peace and never know a moment’s worry ever again. Why did they prefer squandering their short lives in pursuit of something as arbitrary as meaningfulness? Why bother with any of that when merely existing was purpose enough?

Honestly, they had such a good thing going. Why did they love complicating it so much?

Before long, I stumbled across the settlement the Redcaps had been stealing from. It wasn’t nearly as well defended as the gates of Gardenia. It was a small town warded by large wooden walls and a guarded gate that closed it off from the surrounding wilderness. As I neared the main entryway, two strong looking men armored in plate challenged my approach.

“Halt and identify yourself,” one of them said. Like me, he carried a spear, but he also wore a sword at his hip. The handle of it was well-worn, suggesting it had seen much use during his tenure as a guard. That wouldn’t be surprising, considering how many monsters dwelt in these parts. He probably had to kill something every other day.

“Just a wandering Hunter seeking trade,” I said humbly. “I came across a nest of Redcaps the other day and dealt with them. Knowing how troublesome they are, I thought I’d see if anyone had placed a bounty on them.”

“You’re a wanderer, you say?” the guard asked doubtfully. “Where’s your identification?”

“You mean those pictures with serial numbers and the like?” I asked him, feigning ignorance of his request. “Wouldn’t know where to get one. I’m not fancy like them city folks.”

The guards had a nice laugh between themselves before my questioner continued. “Well, kid, around these parts you aren’t allowed to call yourself a Hunter if you’re not registered. These aren’t the middle-states. We do things properly in the Eastern Kingdoms.”

“Proper’s good. I can do proper,” I said earnestly. “Where do I sign up?”

“You been schooled?” the guard asked. “What’s your education?”

“What, you mean like did I go to Vandal Academy?”

The guards laughed again. “No, no, that’s for the elites. No blue blood’s son is going to show up at the Narrows, looking to barter a few goblin ears.”

“Hey, now. Vandal ain’t that stuffy,” said the other guard. “Nicky Pankratz’s boy made his way there. Earned himself a probationary D-Rank. And don’t forget dear Cassie at the trading post.”

“Kids like those are one in a million,” the senior guard scoffed. “The rest are castoffs and wanderers like this forest rat. Son, we don’t know you from Adam, and we can’t take things on trust. Don’t think poorly of me but be on your way.”

“Why would I think poorly of you?” I asked. “Guarding a settlement is honorable work. In times such as these, it’s better to be a wary man than a foolish one.”

“I’m glad you understand,” the guard nodded. “Now be off with you.”

I waved and turned my heel on them.

Naturally, I came back a few minutes later under my cloak of stealth and slipped past them when they opened the gate to admit a few waggoneers. No offense to those brave and capable souls, but I’m not the sort to be thwarted by mere watchmen. If I was, I'd never have any interesting stories to tell.

The town beyond the gates was an interesting sight to see. Rebuilt Americana, reclaimed from whatever disasters had wracked this world before the coming of their system. I wonder what drove these hearty civilians to flee the safety of Gardenia’s walls to eke out a living in this dangerous environment. Maybe they were braver. Maybe they were less civilized. Maybe they just didn’t want to let the monsters win.

Whatever the reason, I was impressed by their resilience.

Now, where could I go to sell a few Redcap ears?

__

“Are you a hunter?” the old man asked suspiciously.

I hadn’t been in town for more than ten minutes when a screen suddenly appeared before my eyes and informed me that a world quest was now being offered.

Red (with blood) Lobster.

Rank D.

From: Tradesman Calford (non-ascended.)

I’ve had it up to here with all these damn monster crustaceans lurking around my pond like they own it! These Koler Crabs are twice the size of a grown man and those claws of theirs will snip an arm off faster than you can blink! I ain’t got much in the way of money but to the one who gets rid of them, I’ll offer a year’s worth of free meals! That’s nothing to sneeze at! Please help me out!

Request: Slay x12 Koler Crabs at Tradesman Calford’s pond.

Bonus: Discover where they originate from.

Rewards: One Free meal a day for a year. +2,200 EXP. +400 Narrows Reputation.

Interesting. I didn’t know ordinary people could put out requests for assistance directly through the system. It seemed that even those who couldn’t ascend had limited access to its services.

Hmm. One free meal a day for a year, eh? Now that was a tempting offer.

“I am,” I replied to the old fellow. “I came in response to your system-borne request, didn’t I?”

“I hope that’s true,” he said. “If you’ve truly come to help then I’m glad you came. But the reward is more meager than you’re probably accustomed to, Hunter…?”

“Stragos,” I said. “Just call me Stragos. And to the contrary, sir, I believe this will pay me splendidly in experience.”

“I don’t think it’ll give you a lot of experience points either,” he said.

Wow, what an honest man.

“No, I meant experience as in the novel enjoyment of doing something I haven’t tried before,” I said. “I love doing new things.”

“You just want to do this…for fun?” he asked with some minor confusion.

“Of course,” I said chirpily. “I’m new around here and I treasure opportunities to expand my horizons. To fill my empty cup with the heady brew of experience is nearly payment enough for my services.”

“Really? Well in that case, maybe we can—”

“Uh, but I will still be requiring material compensation, of course,” I said quickly. “Education nourishes the mind, but food is what keeps us alive, yes?”

“Hmph,” he said with some disappointment. “Well, that’s the truth of things, I guess. Let me get you caught up on what’s been happening here.”

“What’s to know? Your rights as a landowner are being impugned upon by impertinent shellfish. Have no fear, I’ll have the matter sorted in no time,” I said to him.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“Oh, but Hunter Stragos, I’m afraid the situation is a little more complicated than the request would have you believe,” the old man said nervously.

“Oh? Pray tell,” I said.

“Well, the thing is…I put that request out a year ago and no one’s seen fit to answer it in all this time,” he said fretfully. “And it seems that Koler Lobsters are fast breeders. The scale of the situation is a little above its ranking…”

“In that case, we’ll have to negotiate,” I said grimly.

“What more can I possibly offer you?” he asked desperately.

“Free meals for life seems about right to me,” I said mildly.

He blinked rapidly and stared at me in surprise.

“That’s it?” he asked.

“Yup,” I said.

“You’d risk your only life for so little?” he asked with widened eyes.

“I like to eat,” I replied with absolute honesty.

“Son, are you alright in the head?”

“I’m just living life the best way I know,” I said with a friendly smile. I then held forth my hand. “We got a deal?”

The old man gave a hearty guffaw and held out a hand of his own, and we shook on it. “Son, I think we do!”

[Tradesman Calford likes your attitude.]

[You’ve gained +50 Narrows rep.]

__

It took about twenty minutes of further walking before I found a large country house on the outskirts of town that had been built in front of a large outdoor body of water. Calford’s directions had been precise and easy to follow. I came around to the back of the building and tapped on a glass door on the patio.

As expected, a woman soon answered. A raven-haired beauty in a white sundress who gave me a dazzling smile and invited me inside.

“You’re Hunter…Stragos?” she asked with a charming lilt to her voice that quickly had my ears buzzing. Goodness, if I were a younger man, a woman of this caliber would be a problem for me.

“I am indeed,” I said, greeting her with a smile of my own. We were now inside a large kitchen where she bid me to sit on a stool at the counter. “Did Mr. Calford call to inform you I’m here to take care of your seafood infestation?”

“He did. But all by yourself?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I brought my dog too,” I said.

“Do you have some kind of beast mastery class? Are you a ranger perhaps?” she asked.

“No, but I’m still an apex predator,” I said humbly. “I’m just waiting for nightfall when they’ll be easier to deal with.”

“You’re definitely not lacking for confidence,” she commented.

“The only thing I’m lacking right now is a name to call you,” I said. “Miss?”

The woman grinned and showed me the ring on her finger. “Mrs. actually. Jamie Wells-Calford. So pleased to meet you, Mr. Stragos.”

“Goodness, aren’t you a little young for him?” I asked with no small amount of surprise.

In response, she guffawed and swiped her hand lightly through my hair. “That’s my father-in-law, silly. I’m married to his oldest son, Kurt. He’s currently away in military service.”

“You could do better,” I said without delay.

“Cheeky. But sadly, for you, I dearly love the man I’m with.”

“Curse you, Kurt Calford and your superior timing,” I lamented.

“Luck is half of the game,” Jamie said with a knowing look.

“It always is,” I replied. “You know, I’d comment further on your beauty, but words would be redundant.”

“If they weren’t, what would you say?” she asked me.

“For starters? Are you doing anything later?”

“I’m sorry sweetie, but you’re a little too fresh off the shelf to be that forward with your elders,” she said. “I have a daughter around your age.” Her tone sounded regretful, but her eyes were bright with cheerful amusement.

“If I’m a boy, it’s in appearance alone. I assure you, I have a very old soul,” I replied.

“Do you mean to say you’re an educated man?” she asked.

“Very much so,” I said with all due humility.

“And do you intend to share that knowledge with me?” she wondered.

“That will depend on your flexibility.”

“With my schedule?” she asked.

“No,” I said.

“Oh, Lord, aren’t you a bad one?” she giggled.

“I think you’re catching on,” I said with considerable satisfaction as I took a sip from the cup she offered me. “This is very good by the way. Preparing a good cup of tea takes nimble fingers.”

“My dexterity is a wonder to behold,” she bragged proudly.

“You’ll have to show me in person,” I suggested.

“I’d better warn my girl about you when she gets back,” the woman laughed. “Bold young men are their own kind of danger.”

“No need for that,” I assured her. “Girls don’t interest me. Women do.”

“And what sort of women do you prefer?” she asked as she leaned a little closer.

“Depends on the dessert they provide with the meal,” I said with a wink.

“And what’s your favorite kind, I wonder?” she asked.

“Cake.”

“You like cake?”

“I love cake.”

“Got a particular flavor in mind?”

I closed my eyes and breathed in the varied scents of the room. “Something with cherries would be good. Double layered. Sweet on top, sweeter on the inside.”

“The only thing around here with cherries in it is my lip gloss,” she said.

“Wow, whatever are the odds?”

“Sorry I couldn’t help you out,” she said wryly.

“That doesn’t mean you have nothing to offer,” I countered.

“How did you ever get this full of yourself?” she laughed.

“Come with me and I’ll show you.”

“Can’t do it, I’m happily wedded,” she sighed.

“We all make mistakes,” I said. “Every day is a new beginning.”

“I definitely need to warn my daughter,” she said decisively to herself with a firm nod. “Want a sandwich?”

“I’d love a sandwich,” I said.

“Jamie, who’re you talking to in there?” an imperious sounding old woman said as she marched into the kitchen. “Is this him? Hurry up and get him out to the pond. I wish you wouldn’t drag your feet so much.”

“Carol, he’s waiting until night to take care of it,” Jamie said as she hurriedly began preparing my meal. The harassed look on her face caught me off guard. Not a trace of the friendliness that had been there earlier remained.

The atmosphere of the kitchen had changed perceptibly. Before, there had been a languid yet welcoming energy. A relaxed, homey vibe. The kind of pleasant feeling you got from a restful, lazy day.

But as soon as the older woman entered, an unpleasant sensation quickly choked that feeling away. Carol must have been one of those unfortunate souls who by sheer dint of her awful personality, could kill the mood of wherever she set foot. People like her could suffocate any shared space. They’d be deadly if they could be weaponized.

“The fault is entirely my own,” I said apologetically to the old woman. “I use a specific strategy for dealing with infestations of monsters and it works best at night. Your daughter-in-law has been gracious enough to indulge me in conversation while I await sunset.”

“She’s an idling layabout,” Carol said snippily. “You must be one as well. I warned my son she was too pretty for him. He married her anyway. Pretty girls like to think they shouldn’t have to work for a living, and this one’s no different. Getting her to perform any kind of useful task is a chore in and of itself.”

“Carol, I work hard enough in my tavern,” Jamie said with forced patience. “I also make more than enough to cover all the bills around here. I could have even offered a reward in gold for this hunter's services if you weren’t too proud to accept my coin.”

“What you do isn’t real work,” Carol sniffed. “Nor a wife’s duty. Staying out all hours of the night in service to other men. You should consider how that looks for my boy, if you're even capable of that sort of reflection.”

“I work alongside plenty of women as well,” Jamie said with a roll of her eyes. “I assure you I’m on my feet all day and hardly my back.”

“Backtalking slut,” Carol said venomously. As soon as the words were past her lips, she and Jamie began glaring daggers at each other.

Extended families can be hell. Millions of people surely suffered from the generational clashes that arose when a domineering older traditionalist tries to set herself over a more liberal-minded replacement, in a deadly struggle for control of the household. I felt glad to have never personally known such strife in my own home. It’s a very easy thing for a vampire to wait out the lifespans of a spouse's family. I’ve succeeded at it three times. It's no bother at all to spend eighty years in hiding if it means never having to meet your wife’s parents.

“Is Jamie really someone you should be judging?” I asked Carol a few moments later. “It was your son she married, not you. Why should your opinion on anything matter?”

“Excuse me?” Carol said angrily. “Boy, who the hell do you think you are?”

“A student of repeating patterns,” I said as I sipped more tea. “One who also likes reading about interesting psychological conditions. Have you ever heard of covert incest? That’s where someone experiences sexual jealousy towards the spouse of one of their adult children.”

“Where I what?” she gasped.

“I wasn’t speaking of you. But it’s interesting that that’s where your mind automatically went,” I said. “But seriously, your bile is uncalled for. Such an acrimonious attitude towards your son’s wife makes you look like quite a horrid person.”

“H-how dare you say such horrible things!” she choked out.

“Whose fault is greater? Mine for making a mild observation or yours for airing your dirty laundry in front of a stranger?” I asked. “I can’t stand vexatious people, Carol. And since the particulars of my contract with your husband have nothing to do with you, I recommend you go back to your den and allow me to enjoy my meal in peace.”

Jamie burst into appreciative laughter at my words. In fact, she laughed so hard that she began coughing, which necessitated pouring herself a glass of water, leaving her back turned to me and the old woman.

“How dare you speak to me in that manner! This is MY HOME—” Carol began to say in her increasingly wearisome manner. I was already tired of hearing her voice and I possess enough patience to watch a stone erode into sand. This sort of attitude is what develops when someone lives too long without being challenged. I decided it was time to bring her back down to Earth.

Y’know, for her sake. Before she met someone less willing to forgive and forget.

So, before Carol could continue her nattering and spoil my mood any further, I leaned in very closely and whispered, “Leave right now or I’ll return while you’re sleeping and eat you alive.”

I then briefly shifted into my undead form and gave her a very toothy smile. If you’ve ever been grinned at by a shark that could unhinge its jaws to bite more of you, then you’ll understand the immediate effect I had on her.

I think she got my point.

My pointed teeth, anyway.

[You have successfully intimidated Carol Calford.]

[Carol is terrified of your true vampiric visage.]

[Carol fails a willpower check. She won’t tell anyone what she saw today.]

With a stricken look on her face, Carol very quickly made her way out of the room, leaving me to spend a few enjoyable hours shooting the breeze with Jamie, who for a time become a dear friend of mine. When I mentioned my difficulty producing identification for the town watch, she promised to help me out later by using her connections. "I know a few people," she grinned.

Goodness, how lucky can one guy be?

It was completely my loss that Jamie sincerely loved her husband. Not only was she temptation incarnate, but the sandwiches she made were out of this world.

When the sun finally went down, I thanked her for the pleasant time we shared. Then with my spear in hand and Schulz by my side, I set forth to hunt some Koler Crabs.