At around half-past seven in the morning, I yawned, stretched languidly, and then rose from my bed, carelessly pushing a certain annoying girl and a clingy Velcro dog to the carpet as I did so. While she complained about my lack of manners and he continued snoring away on the floor, blissfully unaware of his dislodgement, I took a moment to wonder how the pair of them kept getting into my room at night. I was dead certain that I always locked the door before turning in.

Had they come crawling across the tavern’s roof like a pair of spiders and entered through a window? If so, I wish they’d stop. I hated feeling so crowded while I slept.

I used the wash basin on the dresser to spritz some water over my drowsy eyes, then I used my Porter cleaning technique to freshen myself up. Once I felt presentable to the outside world, I headed downstairs to locate Jamie. When I was told by the staff that she hadn’t made an appearance yet, I took off for her home.

As I walked, I began idly tossing and catching a heavy purse of coins that I’d appropriated from the leader of last night’s bandits. It was tempting to keep this little haul for myself, but Jamie would need it to corroborate my story. I’m sure she’d make it worth my while, though.

Last night sure had been enjoyable. It had been a while since I’d taken some time to myself to really let loose and indulge in my less civilized urges. Although I preached the importance of always maintaining strict self-control to Rachel, it was also true that you had to let yourself have fun. Cornering those silly outlaws and making a feast of them had been exactly that.

It was a shame the system penalized hunters for going too far in such pursuits. I’d been dismayed to learn that although my Gore Grimoire was perfectly capable of absorbing skills from any ascended human I slew, I couldn’t receive any experience points or attain any equipment or money for killing ordinary men. Apparently, the powers provided by this Akashic system were meant specifically for destroying monsters and sealing fractures. You weren’t supposed to use them to prey on your fellow man. If you did, the system would begin giving you a series of escalating penalties that culminated with you being marked as a renegade. Should that happen, unless you completed an atonement quest to have that status removed, you’d be registered as a kill on sight target that would offer great rewards to whoever took you out.

Which isn’t to say that the ascended couldn’t lay a finger on unempowered humans. There was nothing at all in the rulebook that said they couldn’t beat someone within an inch of their life. Or remove limbs. Or torture them. And of course, just because they weren’t allowed to directly kill people, didn’t mean they couldn’t pay someone else to do it for them. The system didn’t give a damn about contract killings. That was the secret to how the ascended nobility that ruled the Allied Kingdom maintained their dominance over the populace. Through sheer might and great wealth.

Ah, the disparity of it all!

Luckily for me, the system considered bandits to be renegades, so I hadn’t earned any negative karma from last night’s amusement. The protections the system offered for ordinary citizens didn’t apply to criminals, which made them fair game, something for which I was grateful. Even in my human form, my steps felt lighter, and my body felt refreshed and stronger. The fellows I’d consumed had quite a bit of vitality in them.

Not for the first time, I wondered why Alpha had reproduced the abilities of a classic vampire so perfectly for the system’s Vampire Lord class. Surely, she understood that regardless of experience points, vampires could also become more lethal solely through the act of killing. A popular misconception regarding us is that our strength only grew over the passage of time. This was incorrect. We could also quickly grow powerful by focusing on consuming humans and permanently absorbing their ambient mana. The more people we killed, the faster our powers increased. This was one of the reasons we tended to flock to battlefields and the sites of natural disasters. Anywhere there was a chance to mass feed unimpeded by the eyes of human authority, was an opportunity for personal advancement. And warfare and disaster provided us with so many nameless victims.

The reason people focused primarily on our age was derived from our survival-oriented behavior. You see, if a vampire began slaughtering humans willy nilly to get stronger, that would naturally alert those capable of slaying said vampire to its presence. For that reason, most vampires choose to act cautiously. We preferred to increase our kills over time and spread them out to avoid drawing attention to ourselves. It was better to play the long game than to take any short-term risks.

Thanks to such sensible behavior, those who were aware of our existence generally came to believe that elder vampires were the only true threats our species could offer, which was a helpful deception that allowed our younger offspring a better chance of survival. This way, everyone gained a wealth of invaluable experience that informed their decision making, which in turn made for superior undead.

If our enemies had become aware of just how dangerous new bloods could be if given access to enough prey, the world would have united to stamp us out long before great Crusica was ready to begin her war. To prevent such an outcome, masters were expected to control their progeny with a tight leash to prevent them from becoming…excessive in their pursuits.

Thus far, Rachel had been perfectly manageable. An ideal student. True, she had a zeal for the hunt, but she was a long way from losing control, which made me reluctant to impede her personal freedom unnecessarily. That didn’t mean it was completely safe to leave her to her own devices, but that was why I had Schulz keeping watch over her.

As I entered the kitchen, wondering what Jamie would be making for breakfast, I found myself stumbling into a situation that instantly filled me with regret over ever having been born.

Pankratz had Cassie pressed against the countertop, kissing her passionately, with one hand holding her tightly against him as the other slid upward inside her t-shirt. When he began whispering something urgently into her ear and she responded breathlessly with something that sounded like a cross between panting and moaning, I loudly cleared my throat.

“You do know your mom chops vegetables over there, don’t you?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Oh my god!” Cassie yelped before pushing Nick away and running upstairs with her hands covering her face. Pankratz in turn swore and began chasing after her, only to stop when he heard her bedroom door slamming shut. Then he turned towards me and glared irately.

“Don’t give me that look, you were the one breaking kitchen code,” I said as I opened the refrigerator and rummaged around for something to drink. “Your adopted sister, dude? That’s an interesting choice.”

“Shut up,” Pankratz said threateningly as he took a step towards me. “We’re eighteen and it’s none of your business. I expect you to keep this to yourself.”

“I'll be more than happy to,” I said with unfeigned disdain. “Make preparations to ruin your future family gatherings all you like. Just keep your happy couple vibes to yourself. It was already annoying enough before I had to see the two of you putting on a show next to the cutlery.”

By the night did I hate happy couples.

“You already knew?” Pankratz asked in surprise.

“Pfft,” I replied. “Your body language made it so obvious it may as well have been printed on cardboard. Plus, the pheromones. So annoying! Did you guys ever stop to think how this might affect others? Or were your faux-incestuous urges too strong to ignore?"

In response, Pankratz hit me in the face as hard as he could. I’ll give him credit for his punch: I didn’t see it coming and it hurt when it connected. Once my vision cleared up, I wiped the blood from my face (So unappealing when it comes from your own body) and stood back up on newly unsteady legs. Then I said, “I thought we agreed you were going to stop doing that.”

“Well, you’re being an asshole,” Pankratz replied.

“There’s no reason to get violent over it,” I said.

“Cassie and I are complicated. I don’t want to hear any commentary about us or any of your mean jokes,” he said.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Mean jokes?” I snorted. “Okay, fifth grader.”

“I’m being serious,” Pankratz said. “You didn’t have to come in and freak her out like that. You didn’t have to say anything at all. She already feels weird about what we have and you’re not fucking helping.”

“Why would I want to help?” I sneered. “This kind of adolescent display is beneath our dignity as human beings.”

“Fuck off, man, said Pankratz with a reddening face. “We love each other.”

“You think you do,” I scoffed.

“Always,” he insisted. “Now and forever.”

“Oh, give it a rest! I hate seeing this sort of delusion take root,” I said. “Let me tell you something, Nicky. This only feels important to you right now because you're young and you don’t have the benefit of experience to tell you otherwise. Trust me when I say, only suckers think they can love someone forever. When it’s put to the test, forever means fifty years at best. That’s nothing.”

"It’s still fifty years, man," said Pankratz. “That’s a lifetime.”

"Which is NOTHING," I asserted.

“Yeah, keep talking nonsense,” said Pankratz. “Did you forget? I know you, Evans. Where do you get the right to mouth off to me about love? That thing you had with Anikka was a fucking disaster.”

“What?” I asked with genuine confusion.

“That psycho little rich girl who kept you as her side piece. Are we still not talking about how you let her walk all over you? How she treated you like trash?” asked Pankratz. “That’s what’s pathetic, man. Giving me and Cassie shit about how we feel while staying loyal to a viper like her.”

Just as I was going to ask him what the hell he meant, a sudden memory of that day at Vandal Academy came to me. Anikka Velas on that gurney, giving me a familiar wink just before pretending to be traumatized and putting me on the spot.

That wicked little smile she sent my way.

“Oh, what the fu…hell,” I said. “Are you serious? Are you seriously serious?” I asked Pankratz with increasing annoyance.

“What?” he asked. “Are you still pretending like you don’t remember? You two were keeping it lowkey for a whole year.”

This ape. This moron. Ugh.

I’m telling you, if the morning sun hadn’t risen and wasn’t shining through the kitchen window, I really wouldn’t have liked Pankratz’s odds for lasting beyond the day.

Instead, I asked, “You really couldn’t have mentioned this earlier?”

“You asked me not to. I keep my word when given,” he replied.

His answer is so simple, his earnestness so pure.

Thank goodness Jamie walked in at that moment, or I might have attacked him with a kitchen knife.

“Is everything alright?” she yawned as she came in from the living room.

“Absolutely blissful,” I muttered as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

“He found out about me and Cassie,” Pankratz said bluntly. “Then he made her cry.”

“Oh. Awkward,” Jamie said with a flinch as she poured herself some coffee.

“You know?” I asked with genuine shock.

“They’re my kids, but they’re also old enough to make their own decisions,” Jamie replied. “I only want my family to be happy.”

…Wow.

After sitting at the table for about a minute with my face frozen in place, I decided it would be best not to continue this conversation. It seemed that this morning was a time for revelations: revelations that I hadn't wanted and would henceforth do my damnedest to ignore and forget.

As much as I adored Jamie, I had to ask myself: did I want Rachel to be around someone like this? What sort of father would I be to let my daughter interact with people of such questionable moral character? If I allowed her to remain friends with this family, she might end up becoming a libertine! Their permissive influence could lead my precious child to utter disgrace!

…Should I perhaps kill the lot of them, or would that be overreacting??

Blast, being a single parent is difficult! You do the best that you can, but every step you take is so precarious. I only wanted to do right by my child, but the given definition of the word right was also the very definition of the word subjective!

…Maybe I should just set Rachel free. We’d been together for weeks, hadn’t we? Wasn’t that long enough? It’s not like being a vampire came with a particularly difficult lifestyle. There are religions with far more complicated rules. Eat this, don’t eat that. Believe this, don’t believe that. Work this day, don’t work that day, etc. In comparison, vampirism boiled down to, “Have fun, don’t get caught.”

Yes, perhaps it was time to give Rachel her freedom; to let my bloodthirsty little angel soar free.

No, I couldn’t do that. Schulz would be upset with me. He adored Rachel and lately the two of them had become thick as thieves. Besides, even if I did throw her out, she’d only climb back in through a window. I think we already established that.

Ugh. Why did things always become complicated when you least expected?

No one has ever lived a life more difficult than mine. I am sad now.

“You look like you want to say something, Kyler,” Jamie said as she took a seat.

“Nah,” I said with a shake of my head. “Everyone has their own circumstances. Mind your own business in the Narrows, isn’t that how it is?”

“Wisely stated,” Jamie nodded. “So, what brings you by?”

“Well, it’s a funny story,” I said. “And it starts with a bag of silver. Check this out.”

I tossed her the bag of coins from earlier, which she emptied on the table to examine. “Interesting,” she said as she held one up to her eye to take a closer look. “These coins are imprinted with the sigil of the Ethos church.”

“Those midwestern holy rollers?” I asked.

“Yep,” she replied. “But they aren’t genuine. These are crafted silver coins, not system generated. You can tell by the slight imperfections in the molding process. These were worked by hand, not generated from quest rewards.”

“Your eye for detail is truly impressive,” I said admiringly. “What else do you see?”

“Some sort of tracking spell has been placed on them,” she said. “It seems that whoever paid these coins out intended to fetch them back later.”

“Or to complete the frame up,” I said. “That girl I rescued from those bandits a couple weeks back. Did you know she was a noble?”

“I suspected it,” Jamie nodded. “But it didn’t seem important at the time. Despite what she went through, she arranged to travel to Gardenia with a merchant caravan the next morning.”

“Yeah, I’d be in a hurry too if someone was trying to have me assassinated,” I said. “Stay mobile or get dead.”

“You sound so hard-boiled right now,” Jamie said fondly.

“Just call me Dashiel Hammett,” I preened.

“You’ve read Hammett?” she asked, surprised. “What’s your favorite book of his?”

“Red Harvest,” I replied. “I always loved the title.”

“So, what exactly is happening here?” asked Pankratz.

“The girl I rescued on the night you ambushed me, is being targeted,” I said to him. “The bandits were paid with coinage that’s been forged to look like it came from a foreign country. A country that’s known for oppressing the ascended.”

“Go on,” Pankratz said.

“From that, we can infer that the girl probably has a rare class or a connection that someone finds threatening,” Jamie cut in. “You know how nobles can be. Anything they perceive as a danger to their position causes them to kick up a fuss.”

“And since the money has a tracking spell on it, that means the bandits were being set up to be found in the employ of the Ethos. Potentially setting up an international incident,” I added.

“Shit,” swore Pankratz. “So, what happens now?”

“We either get rid of this money, or we sit on it and see who comes looking for it,” said Jamie. “And when they do, we take them for everything they’re worth!”

“Jamie! How scandalous!” I exclaimed with both hands on my cheeks. “So, what’s my cut?”

“I’ll give you a fair piece of the take, as well as a finder’s fee for bringing this to my attention. But since I’ll be the one negotiating, I can’t offer more than fifteen percent,” she said in a businesslike tone of voice.

“Really? I was thinking more like fifty percent, since you wouldn’t even be aware of this potential cash cow without me,” I countered.

“Twenty percent,” she replied. “I’m still the one taking on most of the risk. Nobles can be tetchy about having their misdeeds exposed and exploited.”

“Thirty percent,” I said firmly. “I’ll have you know I was forced to kill a lot of bandits to acquire this information.”

“Twenty-five percent. You probably enjoyed killing all those poor souls,” Jamie smirked. “Is it really work when you're having fun?”

I considered her words for a moment, then raised my arms, signalling my surrender.

“Okay, you’ve got me there,” I admitted. “Shake on it?”

“Done,” she said. We shook hands, and then she passed along two gold coins as my finder's fee.

“Always a pleasure, Jamie,” I said jauntily as I stood up to leave. “Let me know how things turn out. I’d be happy to provide some assistance if needed.”

“You’re not staying for breakfast?” Jamie asked in surprise.

“Gorged myself last night,” I replied. “Still quite full. I wouldn’t want to overdo it. I need to stay trim for the ladies, don’t I?”

“Stay please,” Jamie said before I could exit. “There’s something I was hoping to ask of you today. It would mean the world to me if you said yes.”

“Really?” I asked, intrigued by the imploring look on her face. “What is it?”

“NO,” Pankratz said loudly before Jamie could elaborate. “Absolutely not, we already discussed this.”

“Nick, you need help,” Jamie said. “You and Cassie can’t two-man this and the hunters under my employ aren’t strong enough for the job.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to take this asshole,” Pankratz said while pointing at me. “You don’t know what he’s like when you aren’t around.”

“I know he gets results, and in this line of business, that’s more important than having a great personality,” she replied.

“That felt like a backhanded compliment,” I observed mildly.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said apologetically.

“Jamie, I said no,” Pankratz tried to say forcefully.

“Well, Nicky, I said yes,” Jamie said, brushing him off. “I love you both and I’m not letting the two of you walk into a fracture by yourselves.”

“I'm sorry, did you just say a fracture?” I asked enthusiastically.

“A C-ranked one that’s been under our noses this entire time,” Jamie said excitedly. “A chance to gain new equipment, levels, and a lot of money. We just need to put a team together to reap the rewards. What do you say? Are you in?”

In response, I knelt before her and gently placed her hand in mine.

“My lady, what wouldst thou have of me?” I asked her reverently. “My sword is at your service.”

“Yeah, this is bullshit,” said Pankratz bitterly.