I considered summoning Mr. Linty, but I didn't. I didn't want to deal with the boss fight I remembered from the other side of the portal. Instead, I hoped the stealth skills I had picked up would carry me through the room.

Double-checking that I was adequately faded into the background, I did one last status check. I had switched into black clothing, motorcycle leathers tightly hugging my body. I had a spare sword from my inventory strapped to my waist, but I held a hunting knife in each of my hands. Keeping exta gear in inventory space was sure a neat trick.

I had picked up a Harley Davidson black bandana at a gas station off Highway 23, which I had wrapped around my face, hoping that the dark colors would help me fade into the background even better. It was a cheap bandana, and the logo had only been silk-screened on one side of the fabric, so I wore it reversed.

Taking a deep breath, not unlike the first time I had stepped into the dungeon that had formed in my former condo, I returned to the mushroom labyrinth.

The portal bubbled and rippled as I stepped in.

I moved slowly, and the change in light in the dungeon from the portal activating did not trigger the agro on the spiders, morelipeeps, or death cap mushrooms. The room was exactly like it had been when Sid, Em and I had been here. Damp, moldy well chic. Cobblestone walls with roots growing out of the walls and puddles of water. The stairs going deeper into the dungeon were still present.

Cautious. Sticking to the walls. I moved across the floor, careful not to step on twigs or any of the fungi-citizens and not crushing any tiny button mushroom houses. As I walked, I winced while I thought of how crazy Emily had been around these little guys. They'd been hella tasty when cooked, though.

Not being seen was harder than Sid made it out to be. I almost made it entirely through the entire room when I accidentally stepped on the hut of a morelipeep living on its own by the side of a water-filled pothole. Part of me was worried that I had just squished the morel monster's version of Henry David Thoreau living at Walden dungeon puddle. But I had bigger concerns, like wiping mushroom guts off my clothes was more important.

I moved through the dungeon labyrinth like a silent shadow of mushroom death. Significant shroom communities I left alone. I ignored a rare Psilocybin spawn I almost ran into because I didn't want to spend an afternoon dreaming of flying elephants if I took a hit. Stragglers I killed without showing any fungal mercy.

My System map was a huge help. The last thing I wanted to was to spend another week down here, pooping in corners and sleeping where random patrols of death cap mushrooms could find me. They weren't that scary, considering I was immune to their poison, but I didn't want to change it.

Sid's data, while we explored, showed the exact way out, and he even kept notes about dangers, monster types and numbers, and potential loot.

And in no time, well in two days, I made it to the well opening. I had subdued the morelipeep village at the bottom of the well. They would make good eating in the future. Now, I simply stood at the bottom of the well, looking upward at the skylight. I had done some rock climbing with friends. The roughly cobbled walls had a multitude of handholds. But I didn't have enough skills to reach the top. What I did have was experience from killing the occasional mushroom over the last few hours.

I had two choices and enough experience to get both. The first choice was a crossbow, grappling hook, and rope combo. The second choice was the standard rock climbing skill. Since I could afford both, I bought them both. A box shimmered into existence in front of me.

Learning the basic rock climbing skill was easy enough, as was shooting the grappling hook over the lip of the well. And I tried to look like Eminem (without the Batman getup) in his "Without Me" video as I used the rope to scale the wall.

"Now, this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just follow me

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Guess who's back, Shady's back

Guess who's back."

I sang as I climbed the wall.

Once out, I put the crossbow into inventory and walked to Quimby's village.

The village had changed a lot. Many burnt-out buildings had been cleared, and a wooden palisade was going up. A part of me thought that a wooden wall would only help a little with invaders with axes and fire. But then I realized I didn't care; it wasn't my problem.

In the mushroom tunnels, it had occurred to me that I would try to solo my goblin dungeon because I had a kind of death wish. Depression from the accident that had killed my wife, mixed with my home being stolen by the Florida Government, and maybe a bit of Gwen's betrayal.

I didn't know Gwen that well, but despite Sid and Emily's assurances, part of me was positive that Anna knew something and had betrayed me too. I didn't want to return to that life and throw myself into a downward and self-destructive spiral.

Logic told me I needed therapy more than hiding in my dungeon lair. But we were well past that now.

When I was last here, the village inn had burnt down, and the innkeeper had been killed. A few people wave at me, maybe recognizing me from when I had visited with Quimby, or perhaps they were just being friendly.

I planned to leave quickly, so I headed to the general store.

"Can I buy some rations? I'm going dungeon diving and need an alternative to everything: bagels and cream cheese. Plus, I will need some spare weapons and armor. Is there anywhere to stay while the Inn is indisposed?

"Some locals are letting visitors stay in their homes while we figure out what to do about the Inn. Old Widow Maux keeps a nice place nearby. She rents out her kid's rooms now that they all have homes and families of their own. I can have the boy take you there."

"Out of curiosity, how much would it cost me if I wanted to buy the land where the old Inn was located? Call me Randy, by the way." I said, holding out my hand while asking.

"Depends on what you plan to do with the land, Randy. Suppose you were going to build an inn to replace the old one. In that case, the mayor would let you have the land for free, especially if you planned to pay local workers to do the construction. I'm Beynard."

"I was thinking about setting up a guild headquarters. But my friends like to drink, so a combination of adventurers' guild, guild hall, and Inn wouldn't be amiss. Please find out for me. It doesn't have to be right away. It may never be if I don't leave the dungeon alive. And there is always the chance that I am fantasizing. But there isn't anything left for me back in my old world — except for my friends — but it is a long journey to get to this village. So, I would need a place for them to stay and hang out when they are here. I have no problem adding a few extra rooms for rent."

"I will consult the mayor. It may be that we can work with you. This village is a bit out of the way, a lot of us came here to get away from our old lives." Beynard, the storekeeper, said he walked over to the front door. And he pulled a cord which rang a little bell that hung outside. A few minutes later, a ten-year-old child came running to the door.

"Urist, run over to Widow Maux's place and see if the room she rents out is available."

"Okay, shoppy dude." The boy replied and ran off.

"It shouldn't take him too long. The boy is reasonably responsible. You may have to tip him when he gets back. A copper or two will do."

We stood in silence for a minute. I was tempted to ask the storekeeper about football, "What do you think about the Green Bay Packers' chance at the Super Bowl this year," somehow didn't seem the right topic to bring up to fill the uncomfortable silence. Instead, I settle on, "Let me take another look at your armor selection while we wait."

But before we could get too far into the store where the armor was kept, the boy was back huffing and puffing like an asthmatic old man.

"Ms. Maux has space for him. The price is two silver a day, which includes breakfast. She is preparing the room, but I can take you there now." The boy said.

I paid the shopkeeper for the supplies and followed the boy down the dirt road to Widow Maux's home. Ms. Maux lived in a tidy two-story rock house with a backyard vegetable garden and a tree bearing an unripe and undefined fruit in the front. The boy knocked, and a woman in her 40s opened the door.

"You the adventurer looking for a place?" she said.

"Yup. Hear you got a room."

"Two silver a night, Three if you want dinner. And call me Mandy. Mandy is a strange name, but my parents were not from these parts."

According to my system, I had plenty, and the system automatically converted gold into silver, platinum, and copper, so I always had the exact change that couldn't be pickpocketed. I handed the Widow Maux Three silver. But I also wanted to try something, so I dug into my pockets and pulled out a handful of change from back home. A couple quarters, a dime, and a half dozen pennies. Four of the pennies were Canadian. Out of curiosity, I handed the boy the four Canadian pennies.

He looked at the coins strangely. Went as far as to bite one. "This ain't dungeon standard. Not sure what I can do with these."

I shrugged and flipped the boy two more copper pieces. "Keep as souvenirs. Melt them for the metal content. It is mostly copper. Plus Zinc. Don't really care."