It had taken enough time to finish the foyer infant of the dungeon. I had wanted to layer steel plate and maybe a layer of lead between the cinder blocks and the drywall, but when Em pointed to the price, well… The money from the insurance settlement was dwindling. I wasn't in danger of having to find another source of income pretty soon. And I couldn't just spend much money on frivolous things anymore. I regretted not selling [hulk smash]. I still needed to buy a car, after all.

Before we went into the dungeon again, I wanted to check on the sale of the [bloodline crystal]. It was over. I hadn't noticed before this because I had my notifications turned off. Still, with some trepidation, I entered the [auction] to see how the [bloodline] I had unknowingly put up for sale had done.

The final bid was 1675 xp and 250 [Dungeon Gold] coins which caused me to let out a "Woot" of joy. I immediately sat down and tried to decide how I would spend this windfall. 250 xp went into bringing me to 4th level and 425 xp to 5th. Both attribute points went into willpower. It was looking more and more like I was going the caster route.

In terms of spells, our group needed more healing potions, so I took: [Basic: Mana Fertilize] and [Basic: Magical Plant Horticulture], and [basic: Infuse]. As predicted by Earl, I was offered the [Druid: Pledge], [Enhanced Greenhouse Technician], and [Basement Dwelling Pot Cultivator] class options, all of which I turned down.

To round myself out, I also bought [Basic: Blunt Weapon] even though I already had the [Learn: Basic Weapon] at 34%. Since It looked like I was going to be the healer in the group, I picked up [Basic: Cure Disease], [Basic: Drain Stamina] and [Basic: Remove Curse], and [Basic: Freshen Breath]. I spent some time looking for buffs and found [Basic: Group Slow stamina Loss] and [Basic: Group Increase Strength], and [Basic: Group Drain Stamina] because that was the closest I could find as a sleep spell, as well as the [Basic: Attribute Floor] Earl had used on Maria. Group versions of [Basic: Group Increase Mana Recovery] and [Basic: Group Increase Healing Rate] were also usable in combat.

And with that, my spending spree with a healthy 145 xp left over, but I figured I was better off saving that for a rainy day. The next level was at 550 xp, and who knew after that. Presumably, 1700 xp was a magic number since I was almost sure someone had spent the xp they had saved for advancing a level on the bloodline I had put up for sale.

Back in the real world Em and Sid were gearing up. I got to that too. At some point, while we were building the safe room, Em had driven to her farm and picked up a bunch of weapons and armor she had made. Sure, there were a lot of fancy cooking knives (they sell well online). Still, there was a sword that felt comfy, and I put a spare into my inventory along with another baseball bat.

We formed a group, and I sent out a party request. Em and Sid both accepted. Then I summoned Mr. Linty to take point, followed by Em, in chain mail and holding the riot shield I'd given her the other day in front of her. Once I cast my new buffs on the party, Sid faded into the background. I would have to get a spell that showed group health because, as it is right now, I couldn't tell. And if I couldn't tell, I wouldn't be able to keep everyone healthy. Then we stepped into the dungeon.

Em taunted the first three goblins. While I blasted them with spells from afar, Sid snuck around doing sneaky things. A group was overkill here, but it was good practice, I figured. Besides, you couldn't be too careful.

After looting the goblin corpses, I checked the hidden compartment. Gaining 23 [dungeon copper], a hundred dollar bill, and a healing potion. We moved into the Bathroom, and I electrocuted the two slimes. Strangely enough, I received a Canadian toonie and a couple [dungeon copper] for our trouble.

"I don't remember seeding any Canadian money in this dungeon," I said. "I wonder if that means we get the crap we leave in here are shared between all the dungeon, sort of like our [market] access."

Em shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Suppose not. I just haven't gotten a bottle of booze as a drop in a long time and wondered if I'd wasted much money on high-priced liquor seeding it for everyone. I hope other people appreciate my effort. We'll know if we ever get a pair of Mickey Mouse ears as a drop."

"Mr. Linty says he thinks,' We should move on to the next room,'" I said

Mr. Linty, upon hearing his name, started to jump up and down like a chihuahua that desperately needed to pee.

"Onward to the next room, then."

Once again, Mr. Linty led the way, followed by Em, then Me, with Sid off somewhere doing oddly non-visible things.

Once again, Em taunted the three goblins enough to drag them away from their minesweeper game. Sid came out of nowhere and sliced open a goblin before waving and disappearing again. And then, once the goblins were dead, she finished their game for them. "I used to play Minesweeper for hours," she Em said. The loot was another handful of [dungeon copper] and a [unused condom]

We then stood at midway down the stairs while I blasted the slime at the bottom of the stairs with electricity. That slime did not have any loot.

We then let Mr. Linty solo the lint elemental in the dryer Linty a Linty. They looked a little like battling guinea pigs fighting to the death. After I had set the feral Mr. Linty on fire, the next step was to the secret room under the sink.

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"Okay, here is the plan. I resummon Mr. Linty and send him in the hole as a distraction." I said.

Sid reappeared and said, "I can't believe you killed Mr. Linty. You bastard."

"Sid, it freaks me out every time you disappear and reappears. Either stick around and talk or stay silent you son of a bitch”

"No can do. I'm stealthy like a Bedouin in the desert," he said before disappearing again.

I continued the tactical rundown. "the next in should be Sid going in full-on bedouin style. While Sid did his best to stick knives in the Ogre, keeping his wife safe by distracting the monster, Em will shimmy her way in."

We spent some time considering drilling holes in the walls so I could blast the Ogre and heal from outside the room. Still, no matter how many holes above the sink I melted open using [Dig] repeatedly on the backsplash, I could not see the room's interior. It was like the hidden room was not in the same physical location as it was geographically on whatever mental maps we could imagine. The only thing I could do with [Dig] enlarged the opening under the sink.

"Hold up. Before we start, let me spend some experience." Said Em.

"Okay," I said. Now was the time to buy something to monitor the group's health and mana usage. [Basic: Analyze Party Wellness] cost 98 xp, so I grabbed that while Sid babbled on with Em about [Muffle Sound] vs. [Basic: Shadow Blend]. Since they were both 48xp, I sent him the experience I had left and told him, "Shut it and buy both."

Em had already decided on [Basic: Iron Skin] before we set out, so she bought that.

"Thanks, Randy," Sid said.

"Okay, I'm gonna recast and refresh my buffs on our group and cast a Heal Over Time on everyone, so get ready to move quickly. Which I did.

We removed the cabinet doors and removed the drain pipe in preparation for this attack. Mr. Linty had no trouble going in, regardless of the size. Sid was through next, and a couple of seconds later, I heard the Ogre shriek in pain. Em was already under the sink, and her head was through the hole while she wriggled forward.

Suddenly I heard, "Hold on, Em, I got you. And Em's body slid into the tiny room like she was being pulled. I heard a muffled "Thanks, Sid." I cast my new [Party Wellness] spell and saw that everyone was healthy except Mr. Linty, who was down about a third, and there was a little icon of a fire next to his health score. I clicked on the button to see what to do, and I heard Sid yell, "Mr. Linty just burst into fire. Someone just killed Mr. Linty. Someone is a bastard."

I crawled under the sink and peered through the hole. Mr. Linty was indeed running around on fire. I cast cure wounds on him, which brought him right back up to halfway, then directed him to attack the Ogre. The little guy ran forward and valiantly wrapped himself around the Ogre's leg while he burned.

Sid keeps disappearing and reappearing like a Bedouin ninja. And Em, blue braids flipping around as she blocked strike after strike from the Ogre's club. I cast a [Basic: increased healing rate] on her, and her health bar in my heads-up display returned to full. I stuck myself under the sink, focusing on keeping my peeps healthy.

Then Sid reappeared and shoved a knife in the Ogre's neck, and Em quickly followed up by shoving her sword into the Ogre's stomach. And with that, the Ogre toppled over dead.

"Randy." Em said, "How do you get used to the violence?"

I shrugged. "Keep in mind that most of the time I did this, I was alone. It was either them or me. This attacking random sentients to kill something for just a few [dungeon coppers] is new to me too. Now open the treasure chest. It wasn't a mimic last time, but be careful. Mimics are jerks that keep popping up when you don't expect them."

Em bent down over the ogre's corpse and looted it. "Skill Crystal," she said.

"Bring it over here so I can identify it." I called out from under the sink.

She handed me the [crystal] and I cast [Basic: Identify Object] on it only to find out that it was another [Basic: Hulk Smash].

"It is [Hulk Smash] I wonder if this room will become a reliable place to farm these. We could probably make good money if we can find a speedy way to get through the room. We could sell them to Major League Baseball, so they could have power hitters Hulk smash their way to more home runs."

Em shook her head. "Professional sports are banning people with [System] access. Claim it is cheating, like steroids. Like Steroids, there is a healthy market for better ways to hide or show someone's [System]. I have a sorority sister who works for the law firm that Major League Baseball uses to lobby Congress. She might be able to point me to an unscrupulous agent or two. Still, I wouldn't get your hopes up. Savannah is a lobbyist, but she's a straight shooter.

"It might be best to sell it on Craigslist or eBay to those desperate to become adventurers if this is a farmable item. Though not yet. I am going to use this one. And if we get another next run-through, that one is Sid's."

"Come on Sid, what's in the chest."

Like me, Sid used the Ogres club to open the treasure chest. There were 17 [Dungeon Silver] 45[Dungeon Copper] $200 in mixed US currency, a bottle of Japanese Whiskey, a measuring tape, and a [skill Crystal]. He handed the crystal over to me.

"I call dibs if it is anything tooth related." Then cast Identify on it. The skill turned out to be [Basic: X-Ray Vision].

"Hand that back," said Sid "I want it."

"What do you want it for," asked Em.

"Doesn't matter, I just want it. You just got [Hulk Smash] I want something cool from this fight."

I sighed, "If nobody has a legit use for it, why don't we roll for it?" I asked

Em shrugged and looked at Sid, who said, "What the hell? Why not?"

I open-end the [Group] screen, selected [Loot Distribution], a prompt appeared for [Item], and I focused on the crystal in my hand. The weight of the crystals disappeared when I selected it, then chose [Random Party]. "If Mr. Linty gets this, I will kill someone." Then removed Mr. Linty from the list of Party Members the loot could go to.

The words:

[Randomizing between]

1.[Booty Master]

2.[Freya Bellegrave]

3.[Gimli]

appeared in my Heads up display,

I heard Emily mutter, "Booty Master? I'm surrounded by 14-year-olds." to herself. Just before [Gimli] was highlighted

"Woot, I got the treasure! I got the treasure!" Sid began to sing and do a little dance around the room. "Hand it over," he said.

"I don't have it. Check your [Status]."

"Hey, thanks. A message from the [System] in my message folder said, "You have won a randomized loot roll. Please claim in 72 hours, or the System will reclaim your prize."

"I had wondered about that," I said. "Back before Blizzard introduced the Bank and Guild Bank in WoW, I would send loot I wanted to keep but had no bag room to myself in the wow-mail, and as long as I retrieved it by the end of the month, the Ogrimar post was a convenient extra place to keep item overflow," I said.

"Shall we venture into the basement? Or outside. I haven't been downstairs yet. While there is at least one alligator in the pond outside."