“I’m so bored!” wined a clacking voice, echoing through the ornate cavern.
“Huh, what are you going on about now, Delphi?” Bobbi, the goblin shaman, replied with a harsh, high-pitched tone.
“Yeah, you always complain you’re bored or have nothing to do or someone to fight with.” Another goblin replies with a low, grunting voice. “You could play chess with us. We always invite you, but you say no every time.” continued the grunting voice.
“That’s because both of you always win! Hooknose, I swear you cheat!” Wined Delphi, the skeleton boss, as they entered the ostentatious library.
“For the Thousandth time, you bag of bones! Castling is not cheating. Just learn how to play the game.” derided Hooknose, shaking his head at the more powerful monster.
“I’m back! I was watching the door, and guess what? No adventures today either! A chipper reptilian voice cut everyone else off. “Oh! What are we talking about? Let me guess Delphi’s Bored again. Well, could count the tiles again...” pausing, the red lizard-like Kobold tilted his head and continued. “Or, oh! I know we could have a pillow fight!”
Slumping slightly, Delphi began to speak, getting animated increasingly as they continued. “Swaggle, I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make me feel better by putting the word fight in things, like when you said extreme table fighting when we had to polish the tables or dish warfare when we had to dust the ornate dishes. It does help, but not today. I’m a boss, and ever since we were born fifteen years ago, we have never had to fight anything. I have an identity crisis building up here! And our creator is just humming along carving that new collum! And he is off-key again!”
“Shush, he will hear you, Bobbi exclaims under her breath.
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“Who cares if he hears us? He hears everything in here from the wind to breaking wind, exclaimed Hooknose.
“Brilliant!” A posh humming voice loudly proclaimed, “All of my creations come to my core room. I have to tell you my new brilliant idea!”
All four monsters sighed in exasperation, recalling the many past. “brilliant ideas” such as the particular wood grain that had to have its virtues extolled in detail for hours. Or the fine pillows. With stitching that contained elegant embroidery depicting battles that had never occurred, oh so many madding “brilliant ideas,” Hooknose seemed to take joy in the ideas involving architecture at least, with a deep breath from at least three of them. At a slow pace, the four made their way to the great Kelvin’s core room.
“Are all four of you here? Good, now listen up and listen well to my brilliant and masterful plan. We all know that we need to kill adventures to become stronger.” At the mention of this, all the monsters perk up with eagerness and glee, especially Delphi. “But none have come since the creation of my masterpiece of a home. For whatever reason... so while working today, I had an epiphany. Why do they have to die here? All you four have to do is kill them! Then I realized if they don’t die here, battles won’t take place here, meaning no mess, nothing gets broken, and no blood spilled on my flawless rugs. So, in short, my plan. Is to have you go kill adventures and make me more powerful and, in turn, you more powerful any questions?” Not pausing for an answer, Kelvin continued, “No? Good now, get going, my creations, and if you die, just remember I will revive you and send you back on your way.” Silence filled the dungeon save for the humming and the carving of stone that could barely be heard.
“Finally, blood, glory, and most important my purpose!” Delphi exclaimed Loudy
“Yes, yes, we are all happy that you won’t whine anymore about being bored.” Chided Bobbi,
“Hmmm, let’s pack our food and supplies then and any books we want to read,” piped Hooknose.
“I will wait by the door, don’t forget my rope. I have plans.” Swaggle stated with an evil smile.
After traveling for a while, Hooknose asks, “how long will it take to find adventurers? How big is this big outside?”
“It can’t be that big,” Responds Delphi.
“Ummm, does anyone know what an adventurer is? Swaggle asks, and all four realize their great creator has never told them what adventures would look like.