Chapter 7

Mutant Killer Bunny

“A plan. I like the sound of this. What is it?” NAVI asks.

“I said we’re gonna need one, not that I had one, jeez, give me a minute,” Hooknose says.

“Going inside is a bad idea, just saying,” Bobbi comments.

“I agree, but how do we handle all those adventurers?” Delphi says with worry.

“With fire!” Swaggle yells.

“Shut up. You’ll give away our position, you maniac,” Hooknose hisses.

“Sorry… with fire!” Swaggle whispers. Holding his scaly thumb up.

“We should be more tactical here, lure them into the woods and kill them one group at a time,” Hooknose suggests.

“I like the sound of this plan, but one problem is what do we lure them with?” Delphi asks.

With a toothy grin, Hooknose smiles at NAVI. “Oh no, I am not bait. Think of something else those flesh-bags want,” NAVI protests.

“You are what they want and can move. Do you want to find your faerie friends or not?” Hooknose asks.

“I do, but... curses, I don’t really have a choice here, do I?” NAVI says defeatedly.

“No, you do not,” Hooknose replies with a look of triumph on his face.

“Okay, we have a plan, but those adventurers are stronger than the ones from before.” Bobbi states.

“Yeah, what are you getting at?” Delphi asks.

“I think we should wear all the armour the creator gave us for these battles,” Bobbi says with a giggle.

“Dammit, Bobbi, no, I refuse anything but that,” Hooknose shouts.

“Hey, who’s going to give us away now, huh,” Swaggle says.

“Wait, you guys aren’t fully equipped? How come?” NAVI asks.

“Well, first off, we are wearing most of the armor, just not the hats. You need to understand that our great creator, in all his glory and wisdom, can create masterpieces, our armour, for instance, if we wear the hats to cover up some of our weaknesses. The problem is that he is terrible at designing hats or has bad taste in them. We just don’t ask,” Delphi says.

Oh, what do they do? NAVI asks excitedly.

Delphi elaborates, “Well, for me, it gives me some magic defense. For Hooknose it increases his dexterity so he can move faster and react better. For Swaggle, a boost to his constitution making him hardier and harder to kill. And Bobbi, well, she never shared...”

“And never will,” Bobbi chimes in

“So if they do all these great things, why won’t you wear them and be more powerful? They can’t be that bad,” NAVI inquires.

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The four monsters groan for a moment, then sigh in defeat and huddle up and, from a bag, pull out four bizarre objects that bewilder NAVI. Now resting on Bobbi’s head is a stuffed owl wearing a necklace of strange green rocks. Underneath the owl is a soft round grey cloth also covered with feathers on top.

As NAVI looks at Delphi, pity turns to laughter that can barely be kept inside as she sees a messy wig made of fur with a long warrior braid going down the backside. With much anticipation, NAVI looks at Swaggle and sees a strange round armoured creature encasing Swaggles head, Swaggle’s eyes can be seen peeking out from underneath, but a thin metal bar goes across in front of his snout. A white line is painted down the middle of the creature with the number 42 on the side.

With the last sight, NAVI couldn’t hold in her laughter. A plush rabbit hat with big floppy ears that stuck in the air was wrapped around Hooknose’s head. Now that she noticed, he had bits of rabbit fur everywhere on his armour, making him look like a giant killer bunny.

“Oh sure, laugh it up,” Hooknose says.

“What’s the armour set called?” NAVI asks in between each breath and giggle.

“The bloody rabbit,” Swaggle replies.

Only intensifying NAVI’s laughter.

“Let’s go into the woods and let this wear off and begin,” Hooknose says while beckoning them.

The group takes to the wood like a pack of deranged stuffed toys preparing their ambush; meanwhile, in the fort, rumors started floating around about evil forest spirits laughing and plotting in the nearby woods.

“Did you hear that?” A young man said, quivering.

“I heard it,” A gruff female replied.

“Curses, just our luck, It better not be any of those Fae,” An older man grunts.

“We better go check it out, or Targesh will be angry,” A timid boy squeaks out.

“And might kill us, don’t forget that. Besides, it might be those fools who are late,” A young woman quips.

“You make a good point, but it doesn’t matter. We are on patrol, and something is here. Let’s go,” The leader of the group says.

As the evening sun sets on the forest and fog begins to fill the air, the strange colour of lights dances off the shadows.

“This clearing is, well, spooky,” The timid boy says.

“Awe, dammit, I knew it, Fae,” The older man grumbles.

“Hey, what’s that?” The young woman exclaims, pointing at four strange shadows emerging from the tree lines.

Suddenly out of the darkness, four bizarre creatures emerge, surrounding the humans and leaving them with a mixture of emotions, fear of monsters and wanting to burst out laughing at how they look.

Before any of his prey could draw a weapon Hooknose in a furry of rage, charges the group yelling. “Do not laugh at me!” Quickly closing the distance and using {Warcry} while bringing his sword down on the old man’s unprotected knee severing the back tendons and crippling his prey. From a distance, Swaggle laughs maniacly at the taller woman and throws a [Flame bolt] at the back of her head, catching her hair and clothes on fire as she begins screaming. Bobbi staying hidden cast her [Ruin] on the gruff female warrior’s eyes, crippling her with blinding agony. While Delphi follows Hooknose’s lead and charges in with a {Staggering fist} ready and concaves the leader of the group’s chest in. The last moments of his life are filled with fear and the taste of copper as he looks around while fading into darkness. The timid boy tries to draw his knife and slash at the mutant bunny goblin, only to scratch its armor.

The old man on the ground searches desperately in his pouch for a potion, only to spill and curse the gods as he falls unconscious from blood loss. The young woman on fire begins to roll on the ground, desperate to put herself out. The young man draws his sword and tries to step in front of the young boy as a shield. Run boy! The young man says in desperation. Without hesitation, the young boy runs into the woods. “You are brave. The boy got past my skill must be his fear, good to know,” Hooknose says, bringing down his blade and cleaving into the man like slicing meat.

“Let’s finish these lot off quick,” Delphi says.

“What about the small Flesh-bag?” NAVI asks.

“He ran the wrong way. If he lives, he might deserve it. Besides, there are more to kill and going after that small one is too much to give up our advantage. Plus, if we see him trying to get back in, we will kill him from the ridge with magic,” Hooknose says.

“Good point,” NAVI concedes.