“You think I’m a good person just because I can… R-Restrain myself? D-Don’t be silly… I’m just… Well… You know… It’s not exactly like I do anything good, I just… T-Try to avoid being b-bad…”
I was walking through the corridors of the mansion, trailing just behind Priscilla, watching her back. Mostly admiring how her hair seemed to gleam like moonlight, even though it had only just gone past noon. Dead middle of the day. Her attempts to comfort me as she toured me around the manor definitely confused me.
“... Of course,” Her pretty voice responds, a voice that could soothe a rampaging demon to sleep.
Not that there were any 'demons' in this world aside from myself. And those fuckers across the ocean.
“Lady Ayano filled me in long in advance of your arrival. You have the heart of a Monstra, harboring all the same instincts as a fully fledged one, but you’re also human. That your human side is able and willing to hold back your monstrous side is extremely admirable. You deserve praise for holding yourself together.”
“E-Even if… I crack sometimes and… Frenzy?” I shyly respond.
“Yes. Even if you crack sometimes. Besides, that’s what the contract is for. It’s a noble sacrifice for you to have accepted it. Under Lady Ayano’s guidance, you won’t be able to hurt anyone for the rest of your life. Isn’t that wonderful? You sacrificed an important part of yourself for the sake of others. And Lady Ayano intends to use you in the war against the *real* Monstras, too.”
“R-Right… Yeah… The contract… I-I guess…”
She really hung on Ayano’s every word huh? Idiot. Well, I suppose I can’t blame her too much. Ayano put on such a convincing show that even I was fooled. Because really, it wasn’t exactly as though she had lied. She really did put me under a slave contract. She merely broke it at the soonest opportunity. I’m still tingling from that feeling, thinking back to it. Feeling the spirit in the room. Feeling my blood recede in fear for the first time in my life. And then the feeling of Ayano having total control over me. Being unable to resist. I had spent most of my life experiencing that feeling, but this time, I *liked it*. It was almost… Well, actually, it was *extremely* disappointing when I saw Ayano crush that tablet to dust. It felt like such a waste. Didn’t she say that people died for that? Weren’t their lives lost for nothing, in that case? Just so that a worthless creature like me could live freely? The only benefit the tablet offered was that it put others at ease since they thought Ayano was still in control, but I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
In any case, that’s not why I was upset. It was because I loved being under her thrall. It was like being given a collar with my name on it. The sort of collar you would put on a dog. A pet. Degrading, but also loving. I loved the feeling of being owned by Ayano. I can’t exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it’s because I want to fuck her. Maybe it’s because her commanding voice sends shivers down my spine. Maybe because I want someone else to be able to reel me in before I do something stupid. I think I’d want a leash on me even if I wasn’t half Monstra. I just… Don’t think I trust myself.
Just this morning I was dreading being under control, even if she had left an okay first impression. And now I dearly miss being her slave.
So of course I obeyed her, even after the contract ended. I wanted to keep it going. Yes, I could end all of this and achieve all of my desires at any time, but what was the fun in that? Where was the excitement, the sexual tension? Sex without consent from the other party wasn’t fun. Achieving things too easily wasn’t fun. I decided at that moment that I wanted to simultaneously obey her and tease her mercilessly until she got so horny that she couldn’t help herself anymore. Because every aspect of life, the fabric of this very reality, is about sex, and sex is all about power. And I don’t honestly want this power. But she needs it. I want her to think that she’s reigned in a mighty, untameable creature through sheer force of will. I’ll allow her to think that. To live that lie. And maybe one day, if it gets boring, I’ll turn the tables on her, should I fancy doing so. I’ve already proved multiple times now that I can do just that.
“Miss Lilly? Miss Lilly? Hello there?”
Oh. I had spaced out for a while. I came back to my senses as I noticed Priscilla waving her hands in front of my face.
“S-Sorry, I was just thinking about stuff…”
“I think I can guess, but… Care to mention what?”
About how much I want to fuck Ayano. Wait, no, the other way round. I want her to fuck me. Submission is all I know after all. A separate thought pops into my head, which I hastily give to provide a satisfying answer to the question.
“Um… S-So… Okay. I’m just… A bit confused about why you’re not afraid of me… Is it because I was forced to lick your shoes?”
A sympathetic smile forms on her face, and it gives me all the answers I need. She pities me. Of course she does. The only two types of people who exist in this world are people who either bully me or pity me. Maybe I should kill her for being infuriating. Ayano didn’t give me any explicit orders *not* to kill anyone, after all… Rather sloppy on her part. But of course, I’m not going to. Because Ayano neither bullies me nor pities me, she’s the only ‘third’ type of person I have ever met. The type of person who treats me like the human being that I am not.
Also, she’s hot.
Not that Priscilla isn’t also hot, I suppose.
“Hehe…” Priscilla covered her mouth and politely giggled, it was such a sweet sound, “I’ll admit, it was strange. After having such a terrifying first impression of you, seeing you so eager to lick my shoes was… Well, I’ll admit, it was extremely uncomfortable. Ayano doesn’t normally treat people like that… But I’m sure it was just for our benefit. For Master Bluewood’s benefit, too. But looking back, I can also see the humor in it…”
I’ll show you humor. One day I’ll make you suck on each of my toes one by one.
“I-I just wanted to… U-Um, y’know… I understood what Ayano was doing… So I wanted to put everyone else at ease by… Playing into the demonstration a little b-bit…” I lied, knowing full well that I sincerely enjoyed it.
“Of course. I understand. Anyway, Lilly, we’ve arrived at our first destination. Your room.”
I realized that I had been staring either at the ground or Priscilla and that I had not been paying attention to my surroundings. The manor was a place filled with wide corridors and large curved windows which let in a ton of sunlight. Red carpet lined the floor, fancy looking wood lined the interior walls and pristine white brick lined the exterior walls. Vases filled with gorgeous looking flowers sat on pedestals and tables off to the side, and paintings of nobles who I neither know nor cared to know lined the walls. Well, all except one painting. The one hanging right outside what was apparently to be my bedroom door was a landscape painting, depicting a sparkling blue lake. It was gorgeous. And I had seen it before, in real life, on the drive up. I liked seeing this more than I liked seeing lilies, so I couldn’t help but smile at it for a brief moment.
Apparently not noticing my admiration for the painting, Priscilla placed her hand on the door and it somehow opened for her, without me being able to see what happened, what with her body and poofy dress in the way. Once she stepped inside and was out of the way, I took a look at the door myself. It seemed to be made of thick, sturdy wood, but there was no handle for some reason. Just a flat panel made of some sort of metal where the handle normally would be.
“Oh, right, have you never seen these before? Most of the doors in this manor have handles to them. But each of the residents have these types of doors for their private rooms. There’s a handle on the inside for you to get out, but to get in, you simply place your hand on the door, and the arcane circles etched into the metal will activate, magically reading your bio metrics. It’s easier than using keys- Keys can get lost, keys can get stolen. This type of door ensures that one’s own room provides you with absolute privacy. Pretty neat, huh? We’ll have it tuned to your bio metrics for tomorrow, so that only you and Ayano can open this door from the outside.”
“I don’t see any circles on this metal…” I mutter, bending down to inspect the plate.
“Yeah. You wouldn’t. They’re actually etched on a separate sheet of metal just below this visible top layer. Arcane circles are easy to tamper with if they’re left out in the open. Hell, you might accidentally scratch the circle with your fingernail just from using the door normally! That’ll cause it to stop working, or explode or something. You’ll see it faintly glow from beneath the surface of the metal when you use it, though.”
“T-Thanks for explaining… The Leywoods didn’t have anything advanced… Like that… Magic is still so weird to me… I don’t get it…”
Priscilla laughed at that.
“Your body is able to channel more mana than even the most powerful mages in the world, and you don’t know how it works?” She chuckled.
“Priscilla, I… Don’t even know how to r-read…”
“Oh. Right…”
She looked a bit guilty as she came to that realization. Of course, despite being debriefed, there was still much that she didn’t know about me. She didn’t know just how badly the Leywoods had abused me. How much they had withheld from me. She didn’t know about Gloria Leywood, the daughter of Duke Leywood and the owner of my slave contract. She didn’t know what a wretched human being she was. She still didn’t, and she never would. I may act pathetic, but really, I don’t like being vulnerable with people. Especially not in regards to the Leywoods. I don’t even want Ayano to know the full extent of what they did to me.
“W-Well…” Priscilla began, trying to maintain a light and cheerful demeanor, “Essentially, mana is just another material in the air. You can channel it to create magical effects in two different ways. A mage can channel mana via using their unique soul signature to resonate with the mana in the air around them, or an arcane scholar can craft an arcane circle. There’s benefits and downsides to both styles. For example a mage can channel magic very quickly, but it can put a strain on their body if they try to use an effect that’s too complex or powerful. Arcane circles take a long time to produce and are easy to disrupt, but a properly crafted one can be used by anyone once the circle is up and running. It’s very rare to find someone who specializes as both a mage or a scholar. It takes decades of dedication to one field or the other to reach a respectable level, and a lifetime to master. Although… Lady Ayano does dabble in both. She graduated university with a degree in both scholarship and magecraft, among other things. Which is pretty amazing, but, well, people like her are rare, and she um… Well, she would say that she barely qualifies as intermediate, but to be honest, I think her skills in both fields rapidly improve by the month…”
“But… I didn’t do… Any training…”
“Of course not! Monstras… Well, we don’t really understand them that well, as they’re very difficult to study due to how powerful and aggressive they are, but the leading theory is that they ‘corrupt’ the mana in the air. That’s why their strength is very powerful, but almost exclusively limited to a very specific type of magical effect, in this case body modification, for unknown reasons. And, well, funnily enough, body modification is one of those schools of magic that scholars and mages alike haven’t been able to reach a breakthrough in for thousands of years. You can change your eye or hair color and heal cuts and scrapes, even a few serious wounds or diseases if you’re really skilled… But… Reversing ageing, achieving immortality, reviving the dead? No. Plenty of wounds and diseases cannot yet be healed with mana either. And… Changing your body so dramatically, the way you do? Not really a thing. Might have something to do with how heavily the body is tied to the soul.”
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
“I… Think I get it. Sorry for interrupting the tour. U-Um… Let’s see my room?”
With a nod, Priscilla stepped aside to show me in.
On the limo ride I hadn’t been expecting anything super nice. Maybe a space the size of a storage cupboard if I was lucky, maybe a bed if I was super duper lucky. Frankly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had been stuffed inside another cage. But this room… This room was very nice. Large windows with large, pretty little pink curtains, a nice wooden floor covered by a pink fluffy rug, a large wardrobe built into the wall, a chest of drawers, and Priscilla even showed me to a side room which turned out to be my very own private on suite bathroom, complete with a shower, a bath, a sink, a mirror and… A toilet! I had never been so happy to see a toilet in my life. I had to hold back my tears. It really was a struggle, but I managed it. I didn’t want to have to explain to Priscilla why seeing a toilet brought me so much joy. All the towels in here were pink, the tiles were a sort of creamy pink as well.
The bed was pink too. It was a large double bed, I don’t know the exact measurements for these sorts of things but I liked to think that it was a queen sized bed. The duvets were pink. The pillows were pink.
“Are um… Well… Is e-every room so… P-Pink?” I asked.
“O-Oh, no no no… Just this one. Nobody has stayed in this room for years, to be quite honest… Don’t tell Lady Ayano that I told you this, but… Her previous handmaiden… Georgia.. She um… Left about three years ago. Decided she wanted to live her own life elsewhere… I think there was a bit of a falling out between her and the Princess and… Oh geez, I don’t want to start gossiping… But the point is, It was Georgia’s decision to design the room like this. After she left, Ayano hasn’t appointed another handmaiden, and kept the room exactly like it is… It’s um… The closest bedroom in the house to the Princess’ bedchambers, and it’s not far from her office. Since she wanted you in here, I guess… That she really does want to appoint you as her handmaiden. I’m sure if you ask her, she’ll redecorate the room for you however you wish…”
“I um… I do think it looks pretty as is but… Now that you told me that, it does feel pretty weird… L-Like… Like I’m a replacement, or something…”
“I understand. But really, don’t think of it like that- I have no doubt that she sees you as your own person. Not as a slave or a weapon, either. Just be honest with her and I’m sure everything will be fine. Now…” Priscilla cleared her throat, as though to signal that she was changing the subject, “I actually haven’t received your luggage. I don’t think anybody was thinking about it at the time. Do you want me to go check to see if-”
“I didn’t have any luggage. The only things I had on me were the clothes on my back. And now those are gone too,” I responded dryly, a bit out of character, but the subject of luggage put me in a bad mood.
Must be nice to own possessions.
“R-Right… W-Well, I’m glad there weren’t any issues on our end, then. Shall we continue the tour, then?”
“Y-Yeah… Sure…”
~~~
I was taken to the kitchen, the dining hall, the laundry room, the library, so many corridors and empty guest rooms… Oh dear lord, there were so many damn rooms, I was tired, I just wanted to curl up at the foot of Ayano’s bed and fall asleep or something, I don’t know, I got exhausted with it very quickly, and Priscilla was super not interested in having engaging conversation. ‘This is this place, you’ll be doing this here and we’ll show you how to do it’.
Almost makes me miss the days when I had no idea what the house I lived in really looked like, and I was only expected to fight. Doing things that require restraint and the use of my brain hurt my head more than I realized.
“Aaaand now we’re heading outside. Since you destroyed the patch of lilies Ayano had so *kindly* prepared just for you… You’ll be expected to tend to your own patch of the back garden, at least for a little while. Who knows, maybe if you’re good at it, we’ll promote you to head gardener someday!” Priscilla giggled at her little joke, as she led me out one of the back-doors of the manor.
The garden was, naturally, a beautiful place. Large, funnel shaped metal rain catchers, faintly humming with what I assumed were the power of large arcane circles, seemed to feed water to the various plants and crops. See-through canopies covered the soil patches, presumably designed to block out the actual rainwater and filter sunlight. Roses, orchids, yet more of those awful lilies- All sorts of flowers were planted here, and they all looked gorgeous. The crops seemed to consist of vegetables and herbs- Parsley, coriander, potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, onions. I’d seen the fields the farmers tended to outside my orphanage when I was a very small child, so I recognized most of the plants and crops on sight. Most of them.
“P-Pretty,” I flatly stated, following along behind Priscilla as she led me across the cobbled stone path and towards a shed at the back of the manor, “What’s with the rain catchers?”
“They filter out impurities. Rainwater has gotten pretty toxic over the past century, since the Monstra first appeared- Not only are the Monstra infecting the seawater, but they’ve unearthed a lot of chemicals from the ground in Grisia. The winds tend to blow toxic rain clouds from around Grisia in the direction of Selecia year round, unfortunately. Anyway, come on, step in.”
The shed was, well, it was a shed. Covered in dirt and soil and dust, but the tools were clean and neatly organised, hanging on the wall or resting on a shoddy looking wooden table. Shovels, spades, watering cans, fertilizer, packets of seeds, gloves, the basic stuff.
“Every other day, you should wake up at the first light of dawn, get changed into your gardening gear, fill up a watering can using the hose outside, and water any plants that look dry. They usually will need water if there hasn’t been any rain recently. Any plants in bloom you should transfer over to a flower pot, then plant seeds with fertilizer. Lizzy will be around most mornings- She’s the head gardener. She’ll answer your questions if you’re unsure about something. Let’s head back outside.”
“O-Okay… Can’t I ask you questions, though? I sort of feel awkward talking to other people… For o-obvious reasons…”
“Of course you can!” She cheerfully responds, “Ahh, but not next week. I’m heading back to my hometown for the week you see, starting tomorrow. It’s rotten timing for you, but it has to be next week. My fiance is returning home, he only gets time off for a small amount of time a few months out of the year… He spends most of his time working as a security guard on an oil rig out in the ocean. The Icklian channel, to be more specific, right at the midpoint between Selecia and Grisia…”
“I’m… S-Sure you m-miss him dearly. His job sounds dangerous… H-Hope you have a good time next week…”
She’s engaged to a *man*? Not even one who is actually around? I don’t understand heterosexuals sometimes. She must want to be a mother or something. Can’t relate.
“I’ll be sure to! I’ll be thinking about how you’re getting on, Lilly. I’ll be sure to give you my full support once I’m back here at the manor! Now come on, we’ve only got so much time until dinner, let’s go!”
I was shown the large patch of soil I would be tending to, a space behind the shed right at the edge of the garden, neighboring the fence.
“... More lilies?” I ask, what little excitement I had immediately dropping as I saw the sprouting lilies all across my patch.
Even though I liked Ayano more now, something about the sight of lilies still rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe flowers named after me felt like too cloying a gift, or something, which was strange given that Ayano herself didn’t exactly have an excessively sweet demeanor. Maybe it was that incongruity that still didn’t sit right with me.
“That’s right. I think Ayano would want you to be responsible for these budding ones, since you were the cause of most of our lilies dying. If you do a good job, we’ll give you other plants or even crops to take care of.”
“Mmph… F-Fine…”
My distaste was clear, but the matter was final. There wasn’t much I could do to protest.
~~~
The garden marked the end of my tour. It was still going to take a while for me to learn how to navigate the large manor, and the jobs I was expected to do aside from cleaning were daunting to me. But, well, at least I could say that that was a problem for future me. Present me was treated to a round of tea with Priscilla, and I also met Hugo, the head chef. A pretty boy blonde who clearly had an ego about him.
I hated men like that.
“I’ll be sure to feed you well tonight,” He had said, offering me a warm smile, “But anytime you’re assigned to my kitchen, I’ll be sure to work you to the bone. I wonder if you’ll do best as a server, a dishwasher, or a cook, hmm? I’m looking forward to finding out.”
He gave me a weirdly intense glare before heading off. Priscilla told me to laugh it off. He just took his work seriously, but he was a nice guy, she said.
I wasn’t convinced. My instincts disliked him immediately.
Dinner rolled around as the sun began to set, and Ayano had me seated right next to her, at the head of a looong dining table, situated in an ornate room. Lots of gold trim, two beautiful diamond chandeliers hanging up above, a royal blue carpeted floor, more pictures and flowers and ornaments off to the side. I definitely stood out- I was the only maid at the head of the table, surrounded by nobles. Not even Priscilla was allowed up here- She was down towards the bottom of the table with the other servants.
Plus, I was. Well. Myself. They were all glaring at me. I think most of them had seen my transformation.
“Duke Bluewood says that you got it to crawl around on the floor. Is that right?” Some ass-hat with a smirk asked.
“Aye…” Bluewood gruffly confirmed, not really reveling in the situation like the other nobles were.
“I heard it licked a maid’s boots!” A duchess exclaimed, knocking back a swig of wine.
“Yes yes, Lady Ayano, have it do something else! Can it dance?”
“You shall refer to my slave as she, and only she. I think that your deplorable etiquette disqualifies you from such a demonstration, yes? Let her eat in peace. And if you must have questions, ask Lilly directly and politely, do not speak to her through me.”
Ayano didn’t even break a sweat as she admonished them, wiping her mouth with a napkin after polishing off her appetizer.
An appetizer I had to admit I had wolfed down. It was some sort of mushroom baked in breadcrumbs, served with some sort of delicious brown sauce. I had never tasted anything like it before. I was used to eating stale, moldy bread, and my own shit, so the flavor was out of this world! I had tried to use the knives and forks to begin with, but I couldn’t get the hang of it, so I eventually resorted to picking up the food with my hands and tearing it apart into bite sized chunks, stuffing more inside before I had even finished chewing and swallowing the last bite. I got sauce and bread crumbs all over my hands. It was totally worth it!
Ayano sighed, leaning over to use a napkin to clean the sauce dribbling from my mouth, and wiping down my hands. I liked having her so close. Having her hands so close to mine. I could smell that peach scent on her too. It was too much for words.
“You will eat the following courses politely, Lilly. I will cut your food for you if you are struggling.”
Huh. I wondered if I could get her to feed me too. Here comes the aeroplane! I remembered that phrase from the orphanage. The memory made me giggle.
“And what is it you find so funny, you…! Lilly… Miss Lilly, care to enlighten us?”
Some sort of bald headed man addressed me this time. He was even wearing a monocle! Some nobles just had to look so evil, didn’t they? Did they have no self awareness at all? Put on a wig, ditch the monocle and stop scowling, why don’t you?
“U-Um… Nothing…”
“Lady Ayano, have you not ordered… *her*, to speak truthfully?” The duchess asked.
“... That had, in fact, slipped my mind. Please, respond truthfully to everyone you meet from now on.”
I was silent for a few moments… I *could* tell them the truth, but these people were pissing me off. And Ayano might not feed me if I told everyone I was fantasizing about her feeding me… So, it was a good thing I wasn’t *actually* a slave. I wanted to mess with them a little.
The servers were coming around to pick up the plates for the appetizers. When they picked up my plate, I had room to rest my elbow on the table, rest my cheek on my fist, and smirk at mister baldy. I licked my lips, and let my eyes turn purple… I could still let my Monstra nature be known whenever I wanted without frenzying, after all.
“I-I was thinking about how beautiful a sight it would be to see blood gushing out of your headless corpse… I was wondering… If I’d be able to stuff both of your arms into the stump… I was wondering if your blood would taste delicious or rancid… But… It’s a good thing for you that I will never find out, hmm? Because… Lady Ayano was *very* clear that I never harm anyone… Not even scum like you.”
I shot Ayano a knowing glance, reminding her that she had not, in fact, given me explicit orders not to harm anyone. I expected her to crack a little at that. To look worried, perhaps slightly embarrassed or annoyed that I had called her out. But she didn’t seem phased one bit. Nor did my little speech elicit a reaction from her, it seemed. The other nobles were stunned into silence. However, much to my irritation, they were eyeing me not with fear, but with disgust.
It was easy to do that when they thought they were totally safe. My eye twitched, and I snarled. They didn’t know just how vulnerable they really were to death by my tentacles.
I leaned back in my seat and let my eyes return to normal, just as the servers were carrying over a plate of steak, potatoes, garlic, thyme, and an assortment of vegetables. The butter it was cooked in was still sizzling on top of it.
Ayano began to cut into her steak as she looked at the nobles.
“Well? I would say that qualifies as truthful. Do you not agree?”
“... Do tell me when you plan to send her to Grisia, Lady Ayano,” said another random noble, sounding very tired and overall just done with the situation.
“She will stay here indefinitely. She will fall swiftly to the Monstra horde if we send her overseas by herself. I still have much use for her talents here, both as a maid and as a powerful ally. Rest assured, however, that she will play a key part in our counter operations against the Monstra. When the time comes. This is because such operations have not been finalized, and Lilly’s power has yet to be fully assessed, so the extent of her involvement has yet to be determined.”
More silence. But I could still feel their disgust. I tried to use my cutlery to cut into the steak. It slipped off the plate… I was holding neither my knife nor my fork correctly. Ayano slid it back onto the plate, dragged my plate over to her, and swiftly cut up the steak into little bite sized pieces. She slid the plate back over to me.
And I pretended to struggle to stab the steak pieces with my fork. I purposefully failed to fork the vegetables, too. I accidentally flung butter everywhere. I think a fleck even got on baldy’s monocle lens! It was amusing to watch him glare for a few moments before he wiped it off.
“... Are you still having trouble, Lilly?”
“I-I’m sorry Lady Ayano… I was never taught… How to use a knife and fork… I-I tried so hard to hide that fact from you, b-but…”
“It’s okay. Here.”
She took my fork, stabbed a cut of meat, and held it up to my mouth.
“... Well? Say ‘ahh’ for me, Lilly.”
‘Here comes the aeroplane! It’s coming to land!’ I thought in my head.
“Ahhhh!”
I looked at each of the nobles and gave each of them the most smug look I could muster as Ayano fed me my main course, bite by bite. Even allowing myself to smirk as I chewed. There was no way Ayano wouldn’t have noticed how much I was enjoying this, too.
Steak was amazing to begin with. It was truly divine. The best experience of my life to date, even if I had been eating it by myself. But it was made so much better when I was able to display my social power to the class of people who my former abusers had belonged to. I wondered how jealous they were. I wondered how many of them wished they were me right now. I wondered how many of them craved her attention. Were they disgusted by me, or jealous of me?
And, putting them aside, the experience was made perfect by the fact that I was being fed by a hot Princess. Her stone cold gaze melting my corrupted heart into a gooey puddle.
I wanted dessert too.