“Hello! Is anyone in here!?”

I shout through the doors of the building. Looking closely at it from the outside I could tell that it was a mansion from several hundred years ago. Even after this long the house is still miraculously standing, the craftsman of that time must have been a cut above those today. I take 2 steps into the mansion and hear a creak under my foot, followed by a clicking noise… SHI-!

3 arrows shoot down from the roof and dig into my shoulder, if I hadn't moved slightly all 3 would have struck me in the head. When I heard the click I instinctively shifted my foot to the left…. Click. FUC-!

3 more arrows come shooting from the front, this time I get a wind wall up in time to deflect them. I start to feel less nervous, perhaps I should grow my shadow wings to keep off the ground since it's booby-trapped. I pull the arrows out of my shoulder first, casting a healing spell on myself. I hear a voice echoing through the house.

“Hahaha, welcome. It is good to see that you are a healer. That will make some of these traps more interesting to see how you deal with them. If you can make it to the basement alive you can find me there for the final duel.”

...His voice doesn't sound right for some reason. I can't place it but, it sounds almost… Fake. I don't think he's actually in the basement either, he wouldn't have been able to tell I used a healing spell from there… Perhaps I should explore the top portion of the house first, if he said the basement chances are he is probably looking down on me through a hole in the ceiling somewhere. I grow 2 shadowy wings from my back and I hear him again.

“What… KIND OF DOG SHIT IS THAT!? YOU FUCKING CHEATER! GET ON THE GROUND AND DIE TO MY TRAPS!”

I got a better read on him, he is definitely above me… Perhaps I should play his game, I have no doubt this entire beginning area is set with traps. I quickly scan the room and look for more concealed holes that will fire arrows and try to line them up with where the weak spots would be from their projectile paths I can see from combat knowledge. I just simply walk where there are no arrows going to fly out at. The path serpentines around slightly as there are still some holes hidden on the roof and floor, entering the threshold of the door into the next area he chimes up again.

“So you didn't use those chicken feathers you made for yourself… Well… You still cheated somehow! I just don't know how… This next area you wont be able to cheat to get passed.”

Entering the room I notice several things. On the left wall there is a hanging sliding puzzle game. In front is a giant slab of concrete that looks like a wall but it isn't. It is some type of extremely heavy door. The voice speaks again.

“You need to solve the puzzle before the weight holding the door sealed shut will be removed. It weights over 1000 pounds (453 kilos) so there is no opening it without solving the puzzle.”

...Hmm… I get the gist of that puzzle but just the way he said that it would be impossible to move that door makes me want to try it first. I move over to the door and try to move it, pushing harder and harder the voice finally speaks again.

“See I told you that you wouldn't be able to-.”

I give 1 more solid push and the door slides to the left, it slides enough for me to be able to get into the next room.

“Open it… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! Just play by my rules and stop cheating!”

I go to walk through but my curiosity had gotten the best of me. I think my puzzle solving nature was triggered by this one in front of me. It is a 16 by 16 square grid with the pieces making a picture. Without even moving a single piece I can see the image in my head… I might as well solve it. My hands work deliberately towards finishing it and within the same minute it is done. I can hear an audible sigh come from the ceiling before he begins to speak again.

“Why… WHY DO YOU SOLVE IT AFTER THE DOOR IS OPEN! YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I know you already know I'm upstairs and not in the basement, so come up here so I can kick your ass!”

Alright… The door is already open, it leads into a stairwell with 2 doors on each end leading into different parts of the mansion. A way up… But what if… I check the side rooms first. Looking into the leftmost one I can see that it is an unused kitchen… I check the rightmost and notice that is a well kept bedroom… I'll have to check this room later but it doesn't look like there is anything of real value inside. That leaves the staircase now. I decide to not listen to him. I head into the basement.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I start to walk down and think of how the building was bigger on the outside. The person must have sealed off rooms to fit his messed up gauntlet. If I were to guess, I'd think the rooms leading to a dining room and perhaps a study or library or whatever the original inhabitant was into. Sort of like a hobby room. Each step going down I start to notice that as I go further down it starts to look worse and worse. This basement is the only room that hasn't been well maintained besides the kitchen.

The basement appears to have been used for storing alcohol. Giant casks cover the sides as well as higher grade bottles on the outside in storage containers beside them… This is definitely the real treasure of this house. Easily a dozen gold worth of alcohol covers these walls. I can see something in a lonely corner of the room but can't make it out. As I get closer I notice what they are… Over a dozen coffins hide in the corner of the room. I sense a person behind me, I don't bother turning around until he speaks.

“I see you've found… The corpses I stacked up over there… You're a real piece of shit, you know that right?”

I turn to face the person… It isn't a person though, just like the corpses in those coffins. The person is a skeleton… He seems different than most other monster skeletons though, for one he can talk. His eyes though… The lifeless eyes of a normal skeleton aren't there, a dim light is left in it's place… Like someone bound a soul to a corpse and that is what is left. He is also wearing an old adventurers set of armor. Leather covers him, a weapon and shield on either side.

“That's an odd look you're giving me. Normally people are freaking out right about now, screaming AH! IT'S A SCARY SKELETON! SOMEONE SAVE ME! You are looking right through me though, analyzing everything about me… I honestly don't know which makes me feel more uncomfortable.”

“So… What exactly are you? You're not a normal skeleton.”

“Well when a mommy skeleton and a daddy skeleton love each other very much… Where do you think I came from dumb ass!”

“I'm not sure. You don't seem to be a regular skeleton.”

“That because I'm not. I have a huge… Bone, actually all my bones are bigger than normal. I must have drank a lot of milk when I was a human. My story is a tragic one, I was the jester of this family. The mother was a magic women who fell in love with me. The father grew jealous and had me killed. Then the magic wife missed me so much she tethered my soul to this body… I think I ended up killing all of them. I'm not really sure what happened though, it has been so long.”

“Well that's a sad story.”

“Yea I especially like that fact that I just made it up. I have no idea where I came from you fool. How could you believe me so easily, eheheheh.”

...I didn't get any sense that he was lying. This skeleton may be holding secrets that even I don't know. While thinking all this he pulled out his sword.

“Enough talking, prepare to die for being such a dick.”

He charges at me, I manage to get my sword out and parry his attack but… His attack was incredibly weak, to the point of not even needing to block it. Falling onto the ground, I can tell he doesn't have any practice fighting with weapons. He might even be weaker than a normal skeleton. I go to help him up and he sneak attacks me! It is so swift and without any intention it actually catches me off-guard. His sword pierces through the first layer of my armor before I jumped back… It wasn't actually armor, it was an outer layer that Leaf had made to cover the armor and keep me warm. HE RUINED SOMETHING LEAF HAD MADE FOR ME!

I see red and slam my fist through him, the edge of his sword barely missing my hand but I wouldn't have cared, I would have slammed through that as well. Bones go flying everywhere, after a few seconds of the skeleton exploding I regain my senses… I may have went overboard there when he cut the outer layer of clothing Leaf had made for me. I go to walk away, the skeleton has been killed so there shouldn't be any more problems when I hear him talk behind me.

“Ah! I thought you were all talk but you actually have some fight in you! Could you be a sport and help me reattach my bones back together.”

Hmm… He should be dead, most skeletons would have died from having their bones scattered like that… He is unquestionably different compared to a normal skeleton. I guess I should hear him out now. I push his bones close together and watch as his body slowly piles into itself. Bones rubbing and locking into place with an invisible force. Soon enough he is snapping his head onto his neckbones, now almost naked. The only clothing he is wearing was the plain cloths he had on under his armor. He begins to speak.

“The reason I did all this was I am looking for a master. Someone who has the intuition to avoid all the traps, the brains to solve a complex puzzle and the strength to defeat me in a fight… You have passed all these with flying colors and I'd be extremely happy if you didn't fail the final test. The test of personality. I can already tell you are too nice, you actually helped someone who tried to murder you. I can't follow someone without a spine!”

“So you'd rather me kill you then? And who says I even want you as a follower to begin with?”

“That's not the point, I have just been here waiting for someone to follow for so long.”

The skeleton sort of looks down as if depressed.

“And the first person to pass all the tests is a goody two shoes little runt with no passion. I bet you don't even have a mission in life. Or it's something stupid and vague like you want to protect everyone. What kind of bullshit is that!? Nah, can you please leave now… I have to fix all the tests that you've ruined.”

“We still have to talk about how dangerous those tests were. You have the entire entrance of this house trapped to test people but you must kill a lot in the process. Please remove them.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? I need to test people to find a suitable master. The first test normally scares off the cowards, it barely ever kills anyone. Well… It's like 50/50 anyways. There are always the ones that assume the traps are guarding treasure. That's the corpses over there.”

Yea I did notice a smell coming from a different corner than the one with the coffins. Corpses thrown in a corner with no regard while others rest neatly in coffins… I talk now but it isn't me speaking. Wrath has taken control of my body.

“So you are looking for someone to follow who you can respect? Come close I have something to tell you.”

The skeleton moves into as close as he can to me. If I was controlling my body I would have pushed him away. Wrath speaks, it is quite enough for me to not hear. I didn't know he could even keep secrets from me. He whispers about 3 sentences before the skeleton bursts out laughing.

“HAHAHAHA! What a funny man! I can't believe that pushover is hiding such a beast inside of him. I like you, I can get behind you. I can even serve someone like you. So I will follow you, not the sissy but the monster. What is strange about a monster following a stronger monster. Nothing! HAHAHA!”

Bonded with jester skeleton