Maybe because it was dead of the night that all the station’s heating was turned off.
Detective Merlin felt cold and regretted being chivalrous about lending his winter coat to Tessa Roads. Now he was completely defenseless. Even if he prepared a lot of accessory to sleep for the night, it never occurred to him to bring extra clothing or pack a spare jacket.
And he was too cheap to buy coffee from a vending machine so – it’s on him to shiver like this.
At the same time, focusing on the evidence helped to control his shivering and make him slowly forward the cold world around him. He continued to sort everything out that was mustered from the crime scene back in Diamond Hotel.
The first thing he pulled out, was the lady’s shoe. Tessa Road’s. As he rotated it around in his fingers and palms, he found no specks of blood on any part of it. At most, the strap was snapped off and the heel had a notable bent.
Second he pulled out the package containing the purse. Slapping on some tight fitting gloves he scoured through the purse interior and laid them out on a series of tissue paper flattened on the table like a mini canvas. Smartphone, a container with RayCon wireless earphones, wallet (all cards and cash still inside, no personal photographs of any kind), tissue packets, chapstick tucked in an embroidered lipstick holder, and standard issue make up kits.
Finally he pulled up the skirt. With a tug, it flopped out of it’s wrapping, dangling by the hem. No blood, no matter what fold or angle he saw. Turned it inside out, brushing his hand through the interior. Nothing like hidden pockets or small loops for syringes and blades. Just a normal and formal skirt.
“Hmm. Thought the suspect was tall like a giraffe. But who ever thought she cut a nice figure. Decent waist line.”
“What was that detective?” Eve hummed while firing off keyboards from her office.
“Huh? Oh nothing, nothing...Actually, Eve, need a second opinion.”
“What iiiis iiiiiit~”
Detective Merlin brought the evidence over to show the police secretary, “You recognize this brand?”
Eve tapped a CTRL S to save her progress and leaned over the top of her desk wall., “Well. Definitely not Chanel. Hmmm...Eh. It’s something you can get at a regular Macy’s story... Hold it up a bit higher...higher...” She then snaps her fingers. “Definitely on clearance. Some of the stitching on the rims look loose and frayed, definitely poor handiwork. And the pattern, uuugh, so three gens ago, and the faint gold over brown is too tacky. Oof, not for my taste. I saaay...hmmm... 30 to 45 percent off. Like ‘please take this piece of crap off our shelves’ clearance.”
“That cheap?”
“I mean.” Even bobbed her head, her curling hair swaying like expensive curtains, “It’s not that bad. Looks nice from a distance, not too annoying or eye catchy. Plain but professional-ish. I wouldn’t take this to a social gathering full of rich people, but it definitely avoids letting others think you’re struggling in the lower class.”
“Huh. Now, how do you put this on? It doesn’t fold around like a towel.”
“There is a zipper that opens it up, like one of those shoes. Yeah right there and—W-wut? D-detective what the hell do you think you’re doing!?”
“Come on baby work with me! HYUP! HYUP!...I-I meant the skirt! B-bear with me! HYUP!”
Eve stared in horror as the detective forcefully shoved the skirt up his man hips. It took him a few hops, heaving grunts, even strained groans, but he was able to pop Tessa Road’s skirt on his body – albeit barely.
“Good lord,” Detective Merlin gasped, “H-how do you girls fit in this thing. It’s like a corset on my pelvis!”
“Because it’s tailored for average women – not men! T-take it off, you’re going to break it! Oh see, the button is broken!”
“What button? I didn’t see a button—Wait, these thing comes with a button?”
Eve rolled her eyes. To think she grew up to become a police woman, only to educate a man how a skirt works! “Uh, yeah. Skirts are no different than male pants. They got a zipper and a button to keep the cloth together. And look what you did, you snapped the button. See the threading completely torn off!”
“...Torn off you say.” Detective Merlin mulled it over. “Oh actually, the zipper is broken.”
“Oh great? What are we going to tell the suspect you broke her clothing.”
“It was like that before I put it on.”
The police secretary raised an eyebrow, “How is that possible?
The detective tried to remember some recent events, “The suspect claimed her boss tried to force her into bed. Went as far as whipping off her skirt. If she is right, makes sense the button popped off and the zipper is ripped open.”
The police secretary tapped a finger to her chin, “What if she is lying? What if she’s actually the polite girl by day but a wild slut by night.”
“...Eve...language.”
“What!? I love playing Devil’s advocate!”
Detective Merlin thought about the possibility. He tried to sit down, but the second he nearly felt a rip – nope, back up he went. “Go on.”
“Being rough in bed is a thing you know,” Eve explained, “Maybe she lead him on, he got excited and played the lead role in master and servant type play. Ripping clothing off a girl is a kink.”
“Oh my gerd, Eve, where did you learn such vile—”
“Come on, this isn’t the 1900s. There is no such thing as anything sacred when the internet exists.”
Detective Merlin sighed, “Now the question remains: did her skirt rip from defending herself or did her skirt rip with murderous intention?”
Eve stared, “You make zero sense.”
“How about a little experiment. Come here my darling.”
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“Ooooh no. No-no-no-no-NO! All hell to the no!” Eve marched away from the Shaggy Mongrel, sitting firmly in her chair. If it had seat belts, she would have clipped and strapped it tight. “Nah-ah. The last time you did an experiment, the inspector had to go through traction!”
“But hey, he turned out fine right? And, he even got the number of the nice rehab lady. Matchmaker, matchmaker find me a find, catch me a catch!”
The detective held out his hand, asking for a dance. Eve just went ‘nah’.
“Come now. My sweetheart.” Detective Merlin started to do a little Hawaiian dance in Tessa Road’s skirt, waving his arms to mimic the gentle breeze on the ocean. “As a wise man once said: the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few. Live long and pro--”
“No.”
“Pretty pleaaaaaaa--”
THOOMP
The double doors burst open with a loud noise, startling the empty halls and silent walls. A large half-giant of a man fumbled in, holding a series of cardboard boxes.
“Hey everyone, I’m back! Sorry it took so long, I brought pizza and...Where did everyone go?”
Detective Merlin opened his arm in greeting, “Welcome home, Constable Romanov.”
The half-giant of a policeman staggered in and put down the stack of pizza boxes on the table. After checking every cubicle and corner, he shrugged – where are the people?
Actually better question.
“...Merl...is that a skirt?”
“How does it look on me?”
“I-I’ll come back later. Sorry for interrupting. I saw nothing if anyone ask—”
“W-wait wait wait,” Detective Merlin grabbed at Constable Romanov, only to be pulled like a dog sled for a few steps, “Buddy cop, I need your help.”
“Uh,” Constable Romanov rubbed his chin, eyeing the skirt and then the police secretary, “I-I don’t know how I can help you Merl uh—”
Detective Merlin examined his friend for a second, specifically his clothing, “Very nice sweater. And it’s all buttoned up. Good. Now, did your mother hand made this?”
“What? Oh no, I got it from a thrift store. 30% off! Quite a steal, why do you ask?”
“So, not expensive if it gets damaged.”
Constable Romanov chortled, “I mean, not like I’m a rich man in a fancy suit.”
Eve got a bad feeling of what was about to happen. But not wanting to be part of this haywire experiment, she retreated back to her office to continue chattering on her keyboard to finish the rest of everyone’s police reports.
Detective Merlin then ask, “I’mma gonna do something. Do you consent?”
The half-giant cracked a big toothy grin, “Yep!”
“Good man – BOOM-CHA-CHA!”
“WH-WHAT THE!? MERL!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
A sponge rubbing all over an iron pot. That was the best way to describe how much sexual harassment Detective Merlin was doing at a time like this. The Shaggy Mongrel danced his chest all over his companion detective – literally. He would shake his shoulders, do a little Cha-cha, Ramba, Salsa. It was more messed up than a drunk stripper at a bachelor party.
Traumatizing.
After three minutes, whatever silly demon possessed the detective just stopped and left the room, leaving this awkward silence.
“D-Detective!” the half-giant squeaked. “Wh-what was that about?”
“The buttons are still there.”
“O-of course! Like they should be...right?”
Detective Merlin pinched at his chin, thinking, “Okay, level 2.”
Constable Romanov gasped, “Th-there’s levels!?”
“Ready buddy?”
“N-no!?”
“Come on Romanov. We homies right? Riiiiight?”
“...Y...yes sir. G-go ahea—”
“BOOM CHA-CHA! I’M A LOVE MACHINE!”
Constable Ramonov never felt so violated – but before he felt like regretting his compliance, the detective grabbed at his sweater and yanked it open.
POP POP POP!
Several buttons on Constable Romanov’s went flying, threads tearing off. Some of them would bounce off the floor and tumble, rolling about like coins.
“Huh” Was the first thing Detective Merlin said. “That explains a lot.”
“E-explain what, Merl?”
“You don’t get it Romanov? Tessa Roads claimed her boss tore her skirt because she didn’t want to get it on with him and tried to run away. If it was the opposite, she was willing and – come on baby let’s get wet – the buttons and zipper on this skirt on me wouldn’t be busted up right? She would have taken it off herself to entice the man, right?”
Constable Romanov finally caught his breath “I don’t get it. Isn’t Tessa the murderer?”
“Potential rape victim turned stone-cold killer in a matter of seconds?” Detective Merlin bounced on his socked heels, the skirt on his hips flapping in his movements. “It may seem simple and clear to you, but it’s still nothing more than a blur to me. I feel there’s something missing to all this.”
“I mean, Merl. Sure she hasn’t confessed but we pretty much caught her red handed.”
“That’s the thing. Why? Why would she walked back to the crime scene? Okay. Say she DID kill the victim and left his body – she would pretty much have a head start to evade capture, even with one shoe and no purse. Even if she went ‘crap forgot her purse’ and came back – wouldn’t the crowd of reporters and blockade of police cars outside give her a clue? Yet she had no problem walking in through all that? For what? To get money to pay for a cab?”
“Come on Merl.” Constable Romanov shrugged, fighting back a yawn. “Aren’t you over complicating this? I mean, how many teens have we arrested all thinking their ‘masterplan’ to escape the law was flawless. Showing off to friends, Tweets, even posting their crime onto Youtube and TikTok their ‘genius’ approach would always backfire. I don’t see Tessa’s case being any different. Might have thought she could pose as a hotel patron, I don’t know!”
“And motive?”
“What motive?”
“To kill Liam Fergusson! Her own boss in the same company! I mean, sure I hate my inspector but do you see me grabbing a three-hole puncher and railing the man on the head until his cranium implodes?”
“.......”
“Romanov. What does metaphor mean?”
“OOOH! Jesus Christ. You scared me there for a second Merl! I mean, hah, who doesn’t want to strangle the man by the goofy necktie! Hahahaha!”
The detective laughed, and face palmed, “For now, I am giving Tessa Roads a shadow of a doubt.”
“Come on Merl, if the Inspector heard you say that – you’ll only complicate things. It has to be her, no one else was in the room but the suspect and victim.”
Detective Merlin sighed. He felt any steps forward would be blocked, not to mention everyone was tired. So might as well call it a day and get some sleep, he felt nappy time was calling him. Still there was on more thing to do.
“One button, two button...Where button number three?”
It was only right to help a homie fix his sweater, right? Detective Merlin and Constable Romanov searched high and low for the last button so it could be sewn back. That was when the Shaggy Mongrel sniffed out the last one.
“There you are baby!” He said...then gagged.
He was caught up thinking about the case that he didn’t pay attention as to where he was looking at. Oh he found the third button all right.
Sitting right in Eve’s cleavage...and he was pointing a finger right at it.
“...Sup darli—”
“Good night!”
And thus, Eve clocked the detective in the head with her keyboard. Instant black out.