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BUTTON - Cleaning

December 19 – 7:45 AM.

Diamond Hotel

Detective Merlin didn’t bother to fight a yawn, or even the QWERTY impressions on his bruised face. He wandered through the hallway of the Diamond Hotel, floor 7. A grumble and he marched into the crime scene, to look around and--

“Huh? Oh sorry. Wrong room. I’m looking for 77....7—Hold up.”

Just as Detective Merlin was about to walk away, he did a double take and gripped at the edge of the open door. No matter how many times he blinked, he still saw the numbers.

Room 777.

But, when he looked back inside the room...it was...different than last night. No guards, no forensic specialists, no one – except for a housekeeper.

“...Excuse me.” The detective marched right back in, tapping on the housekeeper’s shoulder to get his attention. “Heeey uh...Did they go on coffee break?”

“They, sir?”

“You know. The officers on guard duty?”

The housekeeper returned a hesitant shake of his head. Detective Merlin looked around at his surroundings. He even checked behind the doors and corners to see if anyone on his team was hiding there. Then he finally realized.

All the cushions that were tossed around were organized back on the wavy couch. The glass table was straightened along with the rug, perfectly aligned with the TV.

The bed was stripped, all the blood-stained covers shoved into a black garbage bag. The housekeeper was leaning against the king size bed, scrubbing some sort of bleaching chemical into the red stains on the mattress.

100% cleaned.

Merlin looked around one more time. When he was for sure not hallucinating, he turned to the housekeeper. “What happened here? This is supposed to be a crime scene. What are you doing here?”

The housekeeper held up his hand, fingers gripping a bloodied rag. “I-I don’t know anything. I was just asked to clean up.”

“...On whose authority?”

“By my authority, sir.” Called a new voice. Footsteps came up to the door and someone entered. A Gentlemen in a well pressed suit, slim glasses, and a golden name tag on his chest. “Good morning detective.”

“Oh hey, you were the guy I met last night. Uuh. Misteeeer...uuuh—”

“Karl Hoffman sir. I am the General Manager of the hotel.”

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“Yes! Yes!” Detective Merlin shook hands with the Hotel Manager. “Surprised to see you so early!”

“Given the circumstances of Room 777, I thought it was best to oversee the clean up before I head home.”

“Ah right. Well, I am glad you’re here then! M-mind if I ask, where is everyone? Like what, a murdered happened just last night. Surely there be guards and police tape alll over this place right? Hahaha—”

“Oh?” Karl Hoffman raised an eyebrow. “Your inspector called me this very morning. He said the hotel room was free to resume business. Did he not tell you?”

Motherfather.

Detective Merlin dropped his hand, shaking his head to the side. A small chuckle to bury his frustration. “Well that’s what you get for being the bottom of the Totem Pole, eh? He should have sent me a voice mail or something. To thin I came all the way here for nothing! Hahaha.” And added rat bastard under his breath.

Karl Hoffman returned a polite nod. “As per hotel policy, we have to clean up and prepare this room for the next guest, to return the hotel to normal function. If we dally, the other guests would become restless. Or worse, they will start to check out and never come again.”

“Aaaaah. True, true. I mean, no doubt one of them will log in on Yelp Review to go ‘Oh this hotel sucks, the guy next door got murder, don’t come here, it’s a rip off’...Hahahah...ha.... Sorry, bad joke.”

“Not at all.”

Detective Merlin bobbed his head in agreement, awkwardly. He started to pace around the room, looking about while rubbing his hands together.

Karl Hoffman adjusted his glasses as his gaze followed. “Did you need something detective?”

“Hmm? Oh I just wanted to make sure we got everything. To be frank, I wanted to get a second look around while it was still fresh under lock and tape but—as you can see, hah. Cleaner than Mr. Clean!”

“I believe your investigators and forensic officers have taken back everything that needs to be examined. Anything else not related to the murder has been left behind.”

“Right. Right. Then, maybe I’m just being too antsy.” Detective Merlin shrugged, anxiety filling his voice, “I mean, big time murder, in a popular hotel! No doubt it’s gonna hit trending on Twitter or something and uh—OH MY GEEEERD! WATCH OUT!”

No one understood why the detective panicked. But it did startled the housekeeper – while he was wiping down an expensive looking flower vase. It TILTED!

The Hotel Manager LUNGE over!

And the detective took this chance to grab something else that was hiding behind the door. The second he collected it, he waved a “Ooooh. No panic, no problem. Nothing broken. Phew!”

He backed up to the door, nudging at the housekeeper who was panicking, “You better watch out, man. A single chip on the vase will make you go bankrupt! Well I guess I’ve seen everything. Sorry to bother you Mr. Hoffman. Hope business runs smoothly. I’ll see myself out.”

Karl Hoffman adjusted his suit and sleeves as he stood up straight with the prestige of a butler. “Very well. Have a good day.”

“No!...Have a GREAT day! Buh-byyyye!” Detective Merlin ducked out. He started to whistle a little tune.

~Good morning, good morning, we talked the whole night through, good morning, good morning to you.~

After he turned a corner, he walked past the elevators and went straight for the stairs. After travelling several floors down, he pulled out the tissue he used from his pocket.

“Ooooh. Found ya, you little devil.”

A button was pinched in the tissue, with some loose strands clinging to the holes.

“Luck, be a lady – tonight~”