Detective Merlin massaged the back of his neck. All the while hefting three small evidence bags in his palm, fanning them against his face as if a hand of cards. A golden button; a blue chip; and a blonde clutch of hair...or coat fur.
“...One...two...or three visitors?” He muttered his thoughts out loud as he made his way back into the CID office. “Hey Eve, is the Inspector in....Eve?”
Merlin walked in...only to realize the office was empty. He looked around, even checked under several desks to see if anyone was hiding, ready to launch a SURPRISE, YOU’VE BEEN PUNKED sort of prank. To make sure, he glanced at the office clock...and to make sure it wasn’t a last minute daylight savings he checked his smartphone.
9:10 AM.
“...What is this? A speed run to get fired for being late? Where did everyone go?” Merlin tucked the three items into his pocket, so he could free his hands to scratch at the back of his shaggy head. Just as he looked around, the door behind him open. “Oh there you are Romanov.”
“Hey Merl!” The giant of a Detective Romanov pushed through the double doors with his broad shoulder. He carried this white box with polka dots all over it. “You’re just in time!”
“Oh great!......For what?”
Romanov laughed and he set the box down. Removing some stickers, he lifted the top lid of the box to reveal ...dayum. A giant cake. It had the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY on it, with edible colours and decorations all over it with powdered frosting.
Merlin stared...then dipped a finger in one corner to lick off a huge wad of cream. “...Huh. Not bad. I thought your birthday was two weeks ago.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“...Sally is three months away, Alan and Chance were born on Christmas, obviously not the Inspector, and Eve’s is a mystery to this very day.”
“Oh!” Romanov chuckled as he went to a cupboard, pulling out some plastic forks and paper plates. “It’s nobodies Birthday! I just bought this last minute. It was all Costco had this size.”
Merlin stuck another finger into the cake and took another free lick. “Then what’s this for?”
The doors behind them swung open, a series of steps happily marching in.
“Ha-ha! Everyone, single file, this way!” Inspector Saul cheered as he came in with the rest of the C.I.D. team. Constables Sally, Barry, and Allen. Each and everyone of them carrying some large tin trays with tinfoils covering them up. They placed them across the table near the cake. They lifted off the tinfoil, reveal them to be a series of clubhouse sandwiches, stir fried Korean Noodles with spicy kimchi, and honey and garlic roasted chicken wings.
Full on pot luck, let’s gooooo!
Merlin stared...and snapped a hand to steal a chicken wing. Only for the inspector to counter his attack with a slap! Police Secretary Eve was the last to come in, lifting up several bags of soda bottles and paper cups. “Everything’s heeeere~”
“Great!” Inspector Saul clapped and rubbed his palms together. They cracked open the soda bottles, filling up each other’s drinks. Confused, Merlin joined in, getting his share of soda. Once all the cups were full, the Inspector raised his...cup. “A toast! For a job well done!”
The team hooted with a, “Hip-hip, yeaaaah!”
“...Y-yeaaaaah!” Merlin followed suit and raised his cup. After a few sips of his drink he leaned into the inspector. “Is someone knocked up with your child?”
“KFFBPFF!” Inspector Saul choked on his drink and he dabbed his face with his kerchief. “HEAVEN’S NO! I’m still a bachelor!”
“Then...what’s all this hip-hip hooray?”
“Huh? Merlin? You didn’t get the memo? We closed the case.”
“Which case. The 10 hour stake out, the robbery on Helm’s Street or...Noooo...You mean the Hotel Murder!? That was just last night!”
“Exactly!” Inspector Saul adjusted his bow tie and tugged on the hem of his suit, as if readying for some pictures. “Murder in Diamond Hotel! Hasn’t even been a full 12 hours and it’s hit headlines all over the city, even gone viral on the net! And what do you know, our team solved the murder in a fortnite!” He waved a hand to stir up the crowd, hyping them up as they swung their drinks with cheers and hollers. “Why, I think we just broke a station record! So of course we should be celebrating! My superior is writing up our commendations as we speak! Hah!”
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Romanov cackled as he slapped his hand on Allen’s back, making the latter tilt into the table. “Yeah Merl. Like, sure we’ve done a lot of big time cases, but nothing this big! It’s all over twitter and Instagram and we caught the bad guy within hours!”
Sally did a little dance on the spot as she plucked up a clubhouse sandwich. “My kids keep calling their mama a big time super hero! Catching the bad guys right after they commit the crime. Hmmm, I can feel that pay raise coming up on my desk!”
Merlin wanted to say a lot of things. Too many things. However, the more he glanced at everyone’s smiles and laughter, he took the time to edit his words to make them short, and brutal, as possible. “...Has Tessa Roads confessed yet?”
Barry nibbled on a piece of roasted chicken wings with small squirrel bites. “Nope.”
Merlin shot a glare at his leader.
Inspector Saul refilled his drink, so he has an excuse to avoid eye contact. “Come on Merlin, lighten up. Besides we have her dead to rights, confession or not. Her finger prints are all over the murder weapon. And we have over six different witness claiming she is the only person who visited Liam Ferguson prior his death. And she snuck back into the crime scene in an attempt to erase evidence.”
“And motive, sir?”
“Uuuuh.” Inspector Saul snapped his fingers. “She tried to seduce him to get a higher promotion. Seduction went sideways and she decided to murder him, and take his job next in line!”
Merlin just facepalmed. “Sir--”
“Relax Merlin!” The Inspector hooked an arm around his colleague, downing his cup of soda. “Tessa Road is in the cells. She isn’t going to escape. All evidence is secure with forensics. Nothing to worry about. The crown prosecutor will back us up on the minor details.”
The Shaggy Mongrel rubbed at his nose bridge for a moment. “What if she isn’t the murderer?”
“She’s the killer, for sure. We checked CCTV. Tessa Roads was the last person to enter Liam Ferguson’s room. We confirmed she also ran away. No one left, nor entered between the time of death and us arriving. I highly doubt it’s the work of the Diamond Hotel curse that Twitter’s been yakking about. Now come and join us detective. You’re a major contributor in Tessa Road’s arrest!”
Inspector Saul slapped a hand across Merlin’s back with a cheer, before he walked to the table. While everyone was dividing up the cake, the Shaggy Mongrel threw his empty cup into the garbage can. He walked to his desk, opened the draw, plucked out a form, scribbled on it, date stamped it. He then shoved it into a random police folder and went back to the inspector.
“That’s it Romanov.” The C.I.D. leader chortled. “A whole corner piece, with the letter B. Yeeeees!” Just as the inspector picked up a large brick of cake and cream, he stumbled as Merlin dragged him to a corner. “What noooooow?”
Merlin tapped the folder onto his superior’s shoulder. “I need you to sign this.”
“Wh-what for?”
“I would like to examine Tessa Roads’ home.”
“Oh. Pffft. Is that all?” Inspector Saul rolled his eyes and he reached for his pen.
Merlin added, “And I would like to bring the suspect with me.”
“Wu-NO WAY!” The pen retreated in a flash!
The detective waved the folder with a look. “You know I’m good for it.”
Inspector Saul shook his head, gripping onto his cake plate. “Nah-uh. Every time you say that, I break into a cold sweat. What if she tries to escape?”
“Then I’ll bring a couple of officers with me. She’ll be fine.”
“No.” Inspector Saul shook his head, picking up his fork for his cake. “Too risky! Especially when she is the key suspect to the case we JUST closed. Nah-ah. No way Jose!”
The Shaggy Mongrol prodded the folder against his inspector. His stare turn into puppy eyes.
“I said no!”
Poke. Poke.
“...I said noooo.”
Poke. Poke. Poke.
“Come on, don’t force me Merlin.”
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
“Oh for God’s sake!” Inspector Saul shoved his cake plate into Merlin’s hands and swiped the folder in exchange. With a huff, he slashed his signature on the bottom of the form. “I’m your inspector, give me some face! Stop walking over me like a carpet!”
“With all due respect, you’re a magnificent red carpet. Trust me, I have my reasons to do this. I won’t give you any trouble.”
“Meh-meh. Twust me, twust me.” Inspector Saul mocked with a scowl. “Have her back before my lunch break is over or I’ll demote you back to traffic – outside of the city!” He then slapped the folder into Merlin’s shoulder. “You hear!?”
Merlin happily stamped a foot in attention, saluting with the folder. “Thank you, sir! Good bye, sir!” And marched out the door.
Inspector Saul adjust his bow tie on his suit with a snarl. “Honestly that no good for nothing...Aaaagh.” After using his kerchief to dab his face, he realized something important. “...Wait, where did my cake go?”