December 18 – 5:56 PM
C.I.D. Precinct 9
Inspector Saul didn’t like to be lazy, but neither did he had to work so hard today.
Precinct 9 was more or less empty of anyone. The only people left running the show were the men, well mostly males who were neither on beat or out of the office looking at various crime scenes. As there wasn’t much reports coming in, he thought he could take it easy and spend the rest of his day catching up on paper work (read: play on his phone).
But once more, his easy going agenda was interrupted by another phone call. He had the right to ignore it, the ringing came from the general line that was meant for the investigator’s room – not his private office. So he can close the door, sit back, relax, and let someone else take care of it.
He at least had two other constables on duty today and they do not meet the requirement to help out at an all girl school. Let them answer the problem.
Ring Ring...Ring Ring...Ring Ring...Ring Ring.
In saying that, the phone ring was set on maximum volume so.
“Ye’gawds! Just pick up the damn phone already!” Inspector Saul put his lunch break on pause and marched out of his office. He turned his eyes on his two investigators, “Constable Barry! Constable Allen, what’s the matter. Why aren’t you answering the damn call!?”
“Lunch break.”
“Lunch break.”
Both constables responded while sitting at their office, computer screens off and watching drama or streams on their phones.
“Oh for the love of Pete!” Inspector Saul was too old fashion – have your damn breaks OUTSIDE of the office, NOT at your desks. But he cannot bring himself to yell at Zoomers and Gen Z’ers or whatever – can’t legally do so anyhow.
So he swiped up the phone once more. “C.I.D. Precinct 9. Inspector Saul speaking.”
[Inspector it’s me Merlin.] A familiar voice came through the phone, [I hate to rush you, but we’re in desperate need of that lady back up.]
“Merlin!? Again? Can’t you just call me on my cell like a normal person! Stop using the general line! Wha-what if a REAL emergency were to come calling and they’re put on hold!? You don’t expect someone to wait at the musical tone while bleeding out from a gunshot wound right!?”
[Sir. With all due respect – you blocked me.]
“...Ah.” Oh right he did. But can you blame the Inspector – the detective was blowing up his phone while he was going to the bathroom. And it was a number 2, do you know how awkward that is to have everyone hear your musical ringtone while doing their business!? “Ahem! Look, I told you not too long ago. Almost all the female constables and officers are occupied.”
[Honestly, just how big is this all girl’s school – Riker’s Island?]
“D-don’t make a school for rich daughters sound like a maximum security prison!” Inspector Saul wanted to wag a finger at his detective, but he knew the latter would never see it. “Just hold on a little longer, surely someone who fits the requirement would walk by my office. When she does, I’ll redirect them to your location post-haste.”
[Sir, I don’t think we can hold the fort like this – two guys against four Karens? We’re at a complete disadvantage! It’s going to be messier than Omaha Beach.]
“Oh please, don’t exaggerate Detective. My grandpa was in the War and he KNOWS Omaha Beach better than you!” The Inspector pinched his eyebrow, contemplating whether or not said grandpa would be proud or frown at his current position. “Any who, just what went missing? Is it even worth the search?”
[Stealing is stealing, regardless of size. Can’t just twist the long arm of the law for convenience, sir.]
“Don’t play with my conscious, you know we’re low on manpower—I mean womanpower. Just, just tell me what the product is and I’ll try to call someone from another department or something to sort this fiasco out.”
On the other end of the line, Detective Merlin let out a tired huff and shared the details.
[Constable Romanov and I answered the call of a theft at the beauty boutique store at Miracle Shopping Plaza. A brand new face mask was stolen and we have four suspects: high school Karen, scarf Karen, old Karen, and a Monica]
Inspector Saul raised an eyebrow at the last one, but he kept on searching for a pen at his secretary’s desk to try and write everything down.
[Product of Japan worth more than my salary. Has a name I can’t read without having a stroke.]
“Anything unique about it, something easy to find.”
[Well the store attendant educated me this baby has: anti-aging, anti-wrinkles, anti-stench, and a whole load of formulas that can anti-everything inside a woman’s body—]
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“For the love of—I mean how does it look like!? I don’t need the nutrition label! Just a PHYSICAL description of what was stolen!”
Detective Merlin mumbled on the phone [That’s the conundrum. The store attendant know one of them was stolen, but has no clue which was stolen. I have reason to believe the thief slipped the contents under their clothing. Hence why I need female back up to search them – A.S.A.P.!]
“And I keep telling you, almost all of them are either off duty or helping out at Riker’s Island—Dammit, I mean the all girl school! Wait a bit longer, I’ll see what I can do. And please stop calling, it’s busy day over here. I’ll call you back, alright!”
Before Detective Merlin could protest, Inspector Saul slammed the phone. Only to miss the landing and had to fumble to put it back on. After a groan, he straighten his suit.
“...What was I doing?...Right, coffee. Coffee and cookies sounds great.” With that, he marched out of his office. Completely forgetting something important.
“Oh crap, of course.” He miraculously turn back – to pick up his keys and leave. Leaving behind the sticky note of Detective Merlin’s report on his secretary’s table.
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December 18 – 6:01 PM
Miracle Shopping Plaza
“...We’ll be on standby sir.” Detective Merlin ended his report on the phone pinched his nose bridge.
Constable Romanov didn’t need to ask and he knew, crap hit the fan at this point. With nothing to do, but can’t exactly play on his phone while on duty, the half giant of a man just loitered around the beauty boutique. He wished the theft was at a video game store of all places.
“...Hey!” Tessa Roads called out when she saw their business was concluded. “Well? Is a female officer coming or not? Did you call your superior?”
Detective Merlin couldn’t help a murmur, “Did you not just hear me, miss? I said we’ll be on standby. My Inspector is...diligently searching for a female constable as we speak. So please keep your skirt on – or pants on if you don’t want me to sound sexist.”
“Wh-what are you just going to hold us up like this!?” Tessa Roads gasped at the ineptitude of...everything! “You can’t do that!”
“Technically I can under suspicions of a theft. And of course, you three plus/minus one are lovely ladies. Wouldn’t it look bad on you if you all walked out like this only for the store to ban you due to a simple misunderstanding. I mean, I think you all know better than anyone – gossip travels fast in the cosmetic community.”
Tessa Roads face palmed. She had enough of a bad day, she just wanted to go home and watch a mind-numbing drama or something. “You can’t be serious, holding us up like this!...Wait, wh-what did you mean three plus and minus one!? What are you insinuating!?”
The high school girl sighed as she leaned against a wall, trading balancing on her sore feet. Not like they were offered chairs, “I’ll be late for a tutor session. Can we go?”
The scarf lady adjusted her clothing with a huff, “And I will most certainly be late for my date tonight if this continues. I have a lot of things to prepare!”
The old rich lady snorted, “What is your badge number? My husband knows a lot of people in the police force, friends in high places. Don’t make me—”
Detective Merlin licked at the insides of his teeth – tasting the remnants of his lunch to sate his hunger “Me oh my, you all look tired. Would you all like to sit down and continue this conversation over a cup of coffee – at the police station?”
“..........”
“..........”
“..........”
“...........” Tessa Roads wanted to face palm, but the man’s got a point. Might as well solve it now and avoid the hassle.
So while the four ladies were forces to loiter inside of the store, Constable Romanov finished up some note taking before nudging the detective’s attention.
“Hey,” the half-giant of a man whispered, “Where did all our female officers go?”
“Romanov, are you kidding me? 90% of them are volunteering at the school fair held at the all girls school! Something about inspiring the youth to join the police academy and self-defence crap. Remember?”
“...Oh yeah.”
“See,” Detective Merlin wagged a judging finger – before sucking off the chip powder from it, “This is what happens when you don’t pay attention to the briefing. Honestly.”
Thus, they played the waiting game. As Detective Merlin didn’t like being idle with nothing to do – no video games or even potato chips – he chanced to hold a conversation with the store attendant.
“So, between you and me,” he whispered, “Is it really worth breaking the law? This stroke-inducing mask?”
“S-sir,” the store attendant didn’t want to address that...description, so she just answered politely, “As I mentioned it’s an import from Japan. It is super popular over there due to how flexible and easy to use it is, along with its potency as a beauty product using sakura pedals as a key ingredient. Comes with a special formula to reduce wrinkles, tightens the skin to look youthful, leaves little oils or smearing, suitable for night or day, and can be applied without any water.”
“Wow. Sounds like a Swiss Army Knife, only for girls.”
“It also comes in three brands: the regular one, a premium brand that comes with extra ingredients like honey and aloe vera, and one specifically good for sensitive dry skin.”
“And you are sure, you do not know which brand was swiped?”
The store attendant shook her head.
“Oh don’t feel bad, don’t feel bad. Everyone has a bad day at work. You did nothing wrong, cheer up. Say,” Detective Merlin turned the store attendant about, “Which one of these four Karens do you think took it?”
“...Uh...s..sir. I...I uh.”
“Let me rephrase: which of them look desperate enough to dine and dash with a face mask. The school girl? Miss scarf? That...lady. Or Monica over here—”
Before the store attendant could even fathom who was the likely suspect, she got cut off from across the store.
“MY NAME – IS – TESSA – ROADS!”
“Damn, she got good hearing!” Detective Merlin shivered. “Just joking, no need to be alarmed. Yep, yep.”
“Detective,” Tessa Roads stormed right over, ready to burst like a volcano, “Are you flirting or investigating? We’re been waiting here for HOURS against our will. Being framed for theft! Shouldn’t you be doing something about it so we can all go home!?”
“Oh what do you know, my phone is ringing. Let me get this caaaall.”
“LIAR! DON’T TURN AWAY AND PRETEND! HEY! I’M TALKING TO YOU DAMN IT!”
Detective Merlin dragged Constable Romanov to use him as a shield once more. He quickly redialed the number he called only 10 minutes ago and waited...and waited...and waited...and--
“What, is everyone dead in the station!? Pick up the phone!”