"Yeowch!"

"Argh!"

"Ouch!"

"Ow, ow, ow! W-whait not tha... OW!"

Well, ever since coming to this world, Joe had seen... Things. Things he would never dream were real.

"You... You slimy spawn of a... Yeoooooooowch!"

"Pipe down already. That was the last one."

And he also saw things he prayed weren't real. Now, which one was it?

Wielding iron pilers, Savile inspected Neira's red and swollen behind. Glowing-red behind.

"What's going on here?"

He strolled out of his tent, pass a peculiar, green pile, and stopped beside his bedwarmer aka the source of all the noise that kept on rubbing her butt.

"And what's with all those leaves? Is that... holly?"

"Stooopid mastah!"

The sobbing bedwarmer screamed into his face and wobbled away.

It took a moment.

"So? What's it all about this time?"

With Neira out of the earshot, Joe asked the smirking knight.

"Not telling. she asked me not to."

Feeling an awful urge to scream, Joe took a deep breath then rubbed his face with his palms.

"Is it something I should know?"

"Hmmmm, probably no."

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"Good."

He patted himself out of the ever-present sand and gazed after the setting sun.

"Where's the others?"

"Sleeping?"

Joe looked at the tent she indicated. Judging by the sounds, sleeping was the last thing they were doing.

"Go get them. we're leaving after sunset."

And gods help us. No.. Goddess help us. He corrected himself and started packing his tent.

Quite a convenient thing it was. Just pull a cord and it would unpack itself. Pull it again and it would fold on its own. Just like that heckler of a seller said. It also cost him a fortune to buy several enchanted tents but it still was worth it, time wise that is. None of his toys were particularly good at setting camp and their ability to resist that certain knowledge reinforced Joe’s belief that he made a great deal buying those tents.

Well, as long as you could accept the fact that the tents would fold with or without their occupants inside. Something Savile demonstrated by pulling the cord of the jolly tent that forced its occupants out.

“Everyone’s here?”

He cast a glance over the five unearthly beauties gathered around him, all in different stages of bed hair and at least two annoyed he hadn’t had enough decency to let them finish what they started.

“Good, you have until sunset to grab a bite and get ready. There’s about nine hours left of hard march through those dunes before we can get to our next destination. Since we’re getting closer to populated areas, expect some monster presence. Shouldn’t be anything we can’t manage but in cases we have to fight, you should by now have some sort of idea how that works. Tincan, agro and crowd control. Bedwarmer, close combat, struggles attacking party have priority. The rest, mind your own safety and support form afar if necessary. Remember, awareness is the key. Oh, and one more thing, training gear. No exceptions.”

Ignoring the moan of discontent, Joe went on to pulverize a chunk of hard tack and pushed it down with a piece of old jerky. As disguising as it was, he had to make do. Contrary to his girls, he had normal human stomach and couldn’t stuff it with sand or stones. Something he had to deal with later when he gets some time to figure out what to do with his main body. The female exclusive part of his dark elven design did mess up his plans. He really liked his dangly bits.

Eh, something to fix later.

Checking his bow and arrows as he chewed, Joe nod to himself and put them back into his storage. There was not much he could do with those, or any weapon for that matter but he still wanted to have that option in case of need. His focus lied in healing and siphoning experience.

Thwonk!

A stray arrow zoomed pass his face and lodged itself between the iron buttocks of his knight, causing more damage to her dignity than to her hp.

“Hey! Who shot that!”

Savile looked around at the possible perpetrators. Red faced saint of Kunfayo raised her hand signaling another one of her mishaps. This time with the bow Joe gave her.

“What did I say about using long range weapons?! Never aim at anything you don’t want to kill!”

Joe sighed, listening to their voices and clearing away tentacle gunk from his face. He even murmured a short thanks. Sometimes and inch makes a difference and so it happens his head moved the said inch, without his knowledge.

“What were you trying to do?”

He joined the inquisitive knight that still failed to remove the lodged arrow.

“Practice. I swear I was just going to practice but… the arrow, it went the other way.”

Was that even possible? Shooting arrows backwards?

He reincarnated in a fantasy world where people lived according to some obscure RPG mechanics…

“Alright, you are banned from practicing without supervision. And you,”

He looked at the growling knight.

“Pull that out before it becomes an issue. Also, what did I say? No fur, no growling, no cat fights. Act like the distinguished elves you are now. Oh, and fifty pushups both of you. Now.”

Those and several other minor things happened while the god of vengeance watched from above.

“What a circus…”

A pervert. A manslaughter knight. A borrowed saint. A freeloader. A ‘holly’ maiden and an atheist high priestess.

He shook his head. This was going nowhere.

“Indeed,”

Kunfayo murmured, gazing at the town Joe’s party was aiming for.

“One cannot call it anything but a circus what those punks are doing there.”

The god of vengeance eyes fell on the forgotten town making his jaws tighten.

He reached for the dice and cast them against their table, the world’s foundations rumbled as he did so.

“N-no! I don’t allow it! Joe is mine!”

A tiny voice came out of surrounding darkness.

“Forgive me my friend but we agreed to play by law and law says, any harbinger on the board is mine to play. And play I must.”

Thus said, he moved the pawn.

Then he also used the tablecloth to clean tentacle gunk out of his hand.