First entry

I just spend five hundred gold on an empty book and another six hundred gold on a damn pencil so I could write this darn journal. Now I do not have money.

Second entry

I have managed to restrain the urge to burn this overpriced book only because it was so damn overpriced and because I need it.

To recount the story so far, I died. Met DEATH. Woke up inside a belly of a girly, tentacled monster. Kind of helpful monster. Got put inside a body of some gigolo and almost got eaten by a slime. By the way, I got sent to a fantasy world. Woe my single level.

To pass time I rolled around in a dumpster and while doing so I vanquished the great blarg for which I received the title of Liberator of Snarflargs. As a reward for this feat I received half blunt glass shard which I used to liberate myself from rope binding my new body.

A knight tried to kill me for no apparent reason. The previous owner of this body must have been popular. DDS saved me. (Ding Ding System… brilliant and original, am I?)

Again, for no reason the knight tried to kill me. This time throwing a girl at me. Assaulted with a woman’s butt… how low have I fallen.

I got myself a slave. And then I died. Again. DEATH was not happy. I got kicked out again.

I spend a week dragging our assess through the middle of nowhere, eating grass and drinking water from puddle. Please be it funny smelling rain water.

Third entry

I have no idea how to track time in this place. Until I figure out something…

We spend several days at an onsen type resort. The girl’s name is Neira. She’s a beast kind of thing / person? More a bag of skin and bones than a person. Her waist has about eleven inches diameter.  I have no clue what to do with her. She drools a lot and she has a lot of nightmares.  She’s been screaming through her sleep most of the nights.  When she’s not drooling or screaming, she uses me as a pillow. I fed her some watery broth. Feeding an unconscious person suck big time.

Entry no. 4

Neira’s a glutton. I had to put a restraining order on her eating otherwise she would eat too much and get sick. She hates me for it. For some reason, I am still her designated pillow number one. Her nightmares are less frequent now. Enough of sitting around. We need to move, I’ll take her for shopping tomorrow. Still no way to mark passing time.

Entry no. 5

Even with status penalty, her punch was enough to blow up a house protected by magic. I am both terrified and excited at the same time. With a punch like that she can piggyback me up to her level or even more.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

On a side note, the shitty knight caught up to us and got his balls erased by her boot. From what I saw, the gathered crowd liberated him from his remaining HP and from his belongings. It seems like her nightmares stopped altogether but she still uses me as a pillow… and occasionally more. I have mixed feelings about this. Sex feels nice but, she’s not a human.  I can’t do it looking her straight in the face. She seems to need it more than I do.

I had nightmares last night.

Lots of claws and a toothy muzzle.

Entry no. 6

We’ve been grinding inside the forest around the town. I got myself a bow and arrows and… it got anticlimactic after the third goblin we fought. The goblin shouted “GRAA!!”, Neira’s fist did “shoosh” and the goblin went “SPLAT.” No need for my involvement. I pulled out a book on local flora and let her run around through the bushes. As of now the Fafoon forest is goblin free. Or rather, life free. She went overboard and eliminated anything that moved within her reach.

Entry no. 7

For some reason, wild animals are avoiding us.

Entry no. 8

We went back to the city and sold all the junk we picked up. Net profit – one million gold and some change. I am now half her level. We upgraded her equipment, her attack stats are scary.

Probably it’s high time to recount the skills I have for further reference.

Let’s start with the most annoying one and the reason for this journal.

Perfect memory. Sounds too good to be true but it does what it says. I cannot forget anything. I have perfect memory of everything I did or witnessed through the day. If I need to I can go back and re-watch my whole morning. Or should I say re-experience. I remember everything including the pain in my little toe since I hit a rock that morning. It’s an amazing skill and it uses are a plenty. I can browse through a book and read it later from my memories. A build in copy machine.

But there’s a catch.

For every hour of me being conscious, I need to sleep for an hour and a half. During that time, my memories are (packed?) and transferred to long time storage. If I miss the twenty-hour mark, poof, the oldest memory gets pushed out of the buffer. It becomes as if it never happened.

What’s more annoying, If I am bombarded with a lot of data, this so-called buffer fills up much faster. To put it into perspective, browsing through a book of five hundred pages for an hour, takes up to three hours buffer time. Or more if there were many pictures.

As a result, I am constantly napping whenever I find time for it.

Entry no. 9

Neira is gaining weight quite nicely. A healthy layer of fat now covers her body and I can no longer see her bones. Tho I can still feel them under her fur.  

Speaking of fur, her coat is looking more and more presentable. It recovered the natural shine the demi fur has. It’s been three months since her last nightmare so I think it is safe to say we are over it.

I‘m still being used as a pillow.

Summer’s here and her winter coat is falling out in patches. Her fur is everywhere. We’re coughing up hairballs all the time. I need to get her a brush.

Fun fact, her markings are also visible on her bare skin.

Entry no. 10

We went to hunt something bigger.  There was a quest to get rid of the giant boar terrorizing the village.

Well, the village is safe but we failed the quest since there was not enough proof to show that we did eliminate the boar. Two people covered in gunk and blood are not enough proof that the boar went splat.

I still have guts and blood in my boots.

Entry no. 11

It seems my analyze skill is dependent upon my knowledge. After reading few books on various plants and their properties, I am now able to analyze unknown herbs up to level five.

I exchanged the botany books for a basic introduction into alchemy.

Potions might be worth a try since I can no longer use healing magic.