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Junkyard Magician
Ain’t that a kick in the bucket?

Ain’t that a kick in the bucket?

Sharp pottery pieces are overrated, Joe thought. A whole day and half the night to cut a rope not thicker than his finger? Nothing impressive. At least he got his hands free. Bleeding and kind of numb but free at last.

“Heal, heal, heal, heal.”

He intoned. He’s been doing that while cutting the rope, casting recovery whenever his mana bar refilled. As slow as it was, each time the spell washed over him, his legs looked a little bit more like legs and little bit less like angry pudding.

*DING*

Through special action your skill Minor Heal Leveled UP! Current skill level 2 May the Holy light of Aidane heal your wounds! Skill effect: HP recovery: +590HP Decrease in negative effect duration time: -150s Skill effect modifiers: Lazy Ass Buffer: Recovery Magic +30% Negative Fame: Light Based Recovery Magic -95%

“You got to be shitting me…”

Joe stared at the screen.

Fame based penalty? Ninety five percent? Why even bother? At least that explained the terribly low efficiency of healing compared to what he was used to in games. Speaking of efficiency, it would greatly improve his mood and his thinking efficiency to get out of this dump. The stench was so strong he could even taste it and hear it. And it says something when you can hear cabbage rotting under a pile of fermented, half-digested meat.

Crawling on his elbows, inch by inch, Joe climbed the sloping wall of the pit trying not to think about all the germs and bacteria living in there…

“Thash him mastah! Thash him! Thash the guy! Me cansh shmell him!”

A sudden noise followed by an apparanec of an iron boot in Joe’s field of vision broke his train of thoughts. Seconds later the iron boot hit him like the said train and send him flying like a sack of potatoes.

*DING*

WARNING! Your HP is very low! If you let it deplete completely you will die!

All it took was one kick. Joe rolled over and puked blood. This was no longer painful, he was dying.

“NOT YET. YOU STILL HAVE ABOUT TEN HEALTH LEFT.”

A familiar black robed figure appeared above him, pointing at his blinking health bar.

”Speak! Where did you hide the jewels! “

Armor clad mountain of muscles screamed at him. A very short tempered mountain of muscles. Without waiting for any kind of response, an iron fist ventured towards Joe’s face.

*DING*

WARNING! YOU ARE ABOUT TO MURDER AN INNOCENT MAN. AIDANE WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT! FOR YOUR ACTIONS, 1000 POINTS WAS DEDUCTED FROM YOUR FAME.

The knight stopped.

“You stupid, useless bitch! You’ll pay for that! You tricked me!”

”N-no! Mastah n-no! Thish bitch is tellingsh Truthsh! He smelsh…”

Fulled with anger, time and time again the iron fists fell upon the screaming woman. Soon even her screams ebbed away, giving place to sickening sound of metal slapping against raw meat.

”Useless…”

Something sticky, wet and heavy fell upon Joe shaving away four of his remaining ten health points. Cursing, the knight left.

“…heal”

Joe uttered, still spitting blood. Almost instantly his health bar stopped blinking and the pain in his chest eased.

”I’LL BE AROUND. DON’T TAKE TOO LONG.“

She pat his cheek and left.

*DING*

Through special action your title Touched by DEATH evolved! Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Remember, now SHE has her eyes on you. Title effect: Familiarity with DEATH Ability to unlock forbidden class Necromancer Calm in the face of apparent death.

*DING*

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Notice: Sir Hervigor val Tantarel have transferred ownership of Stupid, Useless Bitch to Joe as a compensation for damage caused. For such a generous gift he is awarded 2000 fame

*DING*

Notice: Stupid, Useless Bitch (soul and body) became your personal property.

The lump of broken bones and beaten meat that fell atop him, made a gurgling noise full of pain and despair.

*DING*

WARNING! Stupid, Useless Bitch HP is very low! If you let it deplete completely she will die!

*DING*

Through special action your skill Novice Soul Mastery Leveled UP! Current skill level 2 You have taken possession of a soul. A feat worthy of a world class necromancer. You may do as you please with it. Skill effect: Soul craft: Ability to control and shape the souls in your possession. Soul storage: You can store and maintain 2 additional souls within your soul. Soul transfer: Ability to transfer souls at will. (Requires HotSwap to unlock) Soul recovery: Stored souls will regenerate over time. Up to level I soul deterioration can be recovered.

*DING*

Notice: You wretched creature, follower of darkness, I shall no longer tolerate your sin! You are no longer worthy of my grace and your lips shall never again utter my name! Begone!

*DING*

By the will of gods new title recived Follower of Darkness added.

*DING*

Notice: Your actions have triggered wrath of Aidane. As a result you receive a penalty. -1 000 000 000 fame

*DING*

Notice: Sub class removed: Champion of Aidane Skills removed: Minor Heal, Minor Cure, Calm Of Aidane, Minor Poison Resistance, Minor Disease Resistance, Minor Recovery Aura, Basic First Aid Knowledge, Minor Mana Transfer.

*DING*

Through special action new skill was created! Wrath of Aidane added! Skill level: MAX Skill effect: You are forbidden from using the name of Aidane: -10 000 HP each time you voice her name. You cannot set foot in any temple of Aidane Entering any ground protected by Aidane will cause you pain: -20HP/s -20MP/s Gifts of Aidane will no longer affect you. Holly water of Aidane can now cause you damage: -200HP upon contact and -5HP/s until removed from your body. Weapons blessed by Aidane do additional damage against you: You receive +50% more damage from holly attribute. Blasphemy: Every time you wrong a follower of Aidane you will receive double the negative fame.

No... Not now. No! Fear crept upon him. He grabbed the motionless body resting atop him.

”Heal!”

Joe called but nothing happened.

“Heal! Heal, Dammit!”

But nothing happened. All he could do was stare into the open eyes of the dying slave.

”For fucks sake Heal!”

*DING*

Notice: Skill “Heal” was not found. However there is a skill called “True Heal” from the necromancer branch. Would you like to create an alias?

”Yes!”

*DING*

Notice: Alias created. You can now use True Heal as Heal.

”Heal!”

Joe screamed as the woman’s health reached 1 HP. For a moment nothing happened but then, one by one her health points begun to recover while her wounds closed and faded away.

And then everything went white.

”WELL, THAT WAS FASTER THAN I THOUGHT.”

Joe sat on a white chair in a white room in front of a white desk and a woman in a speckles black robe with a frown on her face.

”Did I die?”

”YES. AGAIN.”

”AND AGAIN YOU ARE LEAVING ME IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION.”

”YOU HAVE ACCUMULATED QUITE A BIT OF NEGATIVE FAME WHICH WOULD MAKE MY WORK A BREEZY BUT IN YOUR LAST MOMENT, YOU HAVE SACRIFICED YOUR OWN LIFE TO SAVE THE LIFE OF A STRANGER. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME THAT QUALIFIES AS SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES AND YET AGAIN WE ARE BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED JOE.”

”I did?”

”YES. THE TRUE HEAL IS A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD. IT CAN HEAL EVEN THE MOST GRAVE INJURIES IN A BREEZE BUT AT THE COST OF YOUR OWN LIFE FORCE. PLAYING AROUND WITH THAT SKILL IS NOT ADVISED WHILE YOU ALONE ARE AT MY DOORSTEP.”

”NOW BE GONE AND CHOOSE YOUR PATH CAREFULLY FOR THERE ARE NO THIRD CHANCES.”

She flicked her fingers and the soul was gone, back into the body it once occupied. So far everything went according to plan. A little bit more and…

She smiled.

Inside a black book that contained black pages tightly packed with tiny black letters a golden name appeared. Alongside the name as in case of every other soul, a date appeared.

Not yet. But soon. There were so many complains…