“Don't you ever just want to die?”
“What if the world just happens to simply cease to exist?”
“I hate this world... and the others...”
“I hate the system. It's so painful and unfair. It makes me laugh.”
“We are all puppets of greater beings. Ready to be toyed and slaved to their needs!”
“I want to murder them!”
“We live in a perpetual cycle preordained by this so-called God of control”
“How Ironic when God’s work is under someone’s else surveillance other than him!”
“Everyone is going to die painfully. There is no hell or haven.”
“There is only an endless Hollow that reeks of Misery and despair!”
“But I don’t want to die! Not yet!”
“Give up! That’s just how it is!”
“Submit to fate!”
“I must Save her!”
“Destroy the order!”
“What?! What are you all saying?!”
“Change the future!”
“Future? Is it possible?”
“It's under your hand!”
“In Her's! Her hand! Not yours!”
“Mine! I WILL CHANGE IT ALL!”
“It's in the foot of the Golden Tree!”
“The tree?”
“Which Tree?!”
“The Tree...”
“What?! What do you know?!”
“The Golden Tree!”
“Let's Sail through space and time to find the tree!”
“I got powers! I can do it!”
“Destroy it!”
“Save it!”
“Reshape the world!”
“NO! Fix it!”
“I will Snuff out that crawling chaos mouth to my foot!”
“YOU ARE ONLY PLAYING THEIR GAME!”
“All will die! And all will be rebirthed as new!”
“No! Repair the time! Prevent the fall!”
“I will reach so high, and I will unleash chaos Upon all of them! Every last one of them!”
“I will bend the cosmic stars to my will and begin a new cosmic cataclysmic war again!”
"Huh!" I quickly awoke from my sleep, panting as hard as I could. "What the... what was that?!"
I noticed myself sweating as if I were under the morning sun, gleaming ever so brightly.
Hearing whispers, I looked around only to see a group of pedestrians crowded on an underground train ride, gazing back at me suspiciously.
I looked back in confusion, wondering about the turmoil I had just experienced. But then, I quickly regained my composure after taking a couple of deep breaths and wiping my face and hands to dry the sweat.
That's right, I had just taken one of the underground trains from Shibuya and was on my way to school. Surprisingly, this train wasn't as crowded as I had always imagined.
After a few seconds of collecting myself, I rubbed my eyes out of fatigue and contemplation, primarily about the dream I had just witnessed.
"What was all that about? There were so many voices, I could hear them all and they all sounded the same. Screaming, echoing through the body of water into the surface. It was loud, yet faint, obnoxious, yet harmonious. But none seemed to agree, except for the final parts. Such nihilistic views about the world and God.
And the great cataclysmic war? What is wrong with me?
Must be just a nightmare; I've been having those for some time, though not as confusing as this one. This one is like a pure fantasy novel. But for some reason, I feel a sense of recollection and tranquility passing through my soul. It's as if I've just woken up from a long, dreadful dream that has haunted me for years.
But I can't recall why I feel this way; it's just something in my soul or perhaps my subconscious playing tricks."
But what made this nightmare more dreadful than any other was the place where it took place:
For mere seconds or ages, I was there. The place resembled an underground tunnel dug by some creatures, the best way to describe it would be a life-sized ant colony reshaped into a massive mole labyrinth that seemed to go on endlessly. Creating this dreadful maze that knew no end and was devoid of any soul to hear or breathe. The tunnel was of a slid oval shape with curvy edges, hinting that perhaps some creature had burrowed its way here in search of something. Not for contemporary living purposes, as one would imagine. The pillars were as tacky as paste, but somehow, they withstood the environment. Black and oozing, the atmosphere was as hollow as the vast empty expanse of space. No light, yet I could only see the radius of the tunnel entrances for no logical reason. What lay beyond those tunnels was nothing short of a mystery. The moment you stepped inside this void, you were surrounded by gigantic, ghastly openings that, for some reason, looked like the gaping mouths of screaming humans in silent agony.
And that wasn't the peak of the nightmare. Whichever route you chose to take and attempted to leave, another mirror image of the last room would take shape and repeat the cycle all over again. This was no underground tunnel formed by simple ants, moles, or badgers. Nothing of the sort. These tunnels looked and felt eldritch in nature, alien and exotic. It's as if I wasn't on Earth anymore but somewhere worse.
what was that place? were those stars or eyes I was looking at as I gazed into the depths of the abyss? There were so many of them, so many. I felt myself being drawn towards them but without force. My soul and body moved on its own despite my sane protests. With each step I took, more of what lay beyond revealed itself. By the time I had fully grasped the full image, my eyes were torn asunder, my sanity shattered, and suddenly, like that, I was awake.
Whatever this dream was, it was not something to be taken lightly. Nightmares are manifestations born from unresolved human issues and matters that dominate the unconscious realm, known as the shadow. If one does not confront them, they will suffer a fate from which they may never recover.
Sometimes, nightmares are simply products of horror born from people's fears, nothing more than a mind trick that preys on accidents. But for some reason, this dream is neither of those. It's different and questionable. It's as if I don't want to confront it; rather, I want to run away from it.
"He must be from Komuro Academy."
"Eh! Wasn't that where the news reported?"
"I can't believe it! Students taking drugs to improve their abilities. That's just absurd!"
"Just look at him! Distressed and suspicious, that's how Komuro students are!"
"How awful..."
I grunted as I heard the whispers of busy citizens around me, but I shook it off and moved on as I stood on my feet, waiting for the train to reach the station. But as I grabbed the train handles, I took a heavy sigh and wrapped my worries in darkness as I entertained my final thoughts and questions.
"Didn't it snow a while ago?"
----------------------------------------
It was Monday, early morning in late March, under the blissful rays of the aurora-tinged daylight and an active term.
I had just emerged from Shinjuku station, making my way to Komuro Academy, albeit a little later than usual.
Walking down the small hill surrounded by pink Sakura trees in full bloom, casting their vibrant shadows over the ground, the melodious chirping of green pheasants echoed along the road.
The atmosphere was peaceful, exuding a sense of tranquility that could captivate any observer.
(I wish I could walk this road forever...)
Such peaceful moments were rare for me, especially considering my household situation. It wasn't a place where you could simply relax, given my financial issues and constant family conflicts.
I reached the school's entrance gates, where two police cars were stationed on the opposite side of the road, vigilant and on duty.
Aside from myself and the police presence, the students entering the gates seemed doubtful and concerned. Both boys and girls alike were shaken by recent events, horrified by the sudden revelations, and resentful of their ignorance. Worst of all, there was disbelief and reluctance towards one another—human nature at its ugliest.
The hustle and bustle had escalated significantly due to recent turmoil, throwing Komuro Academy into disarray and gossip. What was once a prestigious and elegant institution had become a disgrace, a source of humiliation and scandal, on the brink of becoming a shadow of its former self. A troubling but perhaps inevitable fate, deserving of its tarnished reputation.
Inside the school, between the hallways, students hurried to their classrooms under the watchful eyes of teachers and their apprehension. The once-vibrant corridors and entrances now exuded fear and tension. Only the teachers' stern commands resonated through the halls, spreading despair and dispelling youthful naiveté—an eventful end indeed.
Finally, I reached the classroom and took my seat in the far corner by the window, a spot that allowed me to enjoy the view of the Sakura trees in the distance. Glancing around, I noticed that the class was surprisingly half-empty. Some students were absorbed in their studies or conversations with classmates. However, one thing was consistent among all of them—they were on edge, wary of one another.
Given the commotion outside, I expected them to be present and somber, but here we were.
Perhaps an announcement was about to be made? If that was the case...
"Hello!"
"Oh! Ohayōgozaimasu, Milli-chan."
I was startled by her cheerful greeting. Mili Namiyo, a classmate and an old friend since middle school.
Milli was of below-average height with long pink hair, usually styled in two ponytails on either side of her head. She also had two thin, long bangs at the sides and a spiky section of hair covering her right forehead.
Milli had a reputation for being a typical Gyaru (gal) girl, her unconventional beauty capturing the attention of most boys and even girls at school.
She spent most of her time with friends who shared her style, though I vaguely remembered her differently.
Milli used to wear glasses back in middle school and was quite the bookworm, obsessed with fictional novels like Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. However, since entering high school, she had undergone a dramatic transformation, shifting her interests towards drama shows.
I couldn't help but wonder if she had been bullied in middle school, though we didn't share the same class back then. It wasn't until high school that we became acquainted.
"They just won't stop, will they?" Mili spoke with sorrow in her eyes as she dropped her bag into the seat in front of me and then gazed out the window.
"Who exactly?" I asked, puzzled.
"The police, duh! Haven't you seen them outside the school gates?"
"Yeah, I did. But it's not just the police we should worry about..."
"What do you mean?"
"The entire school grounds and the news media. They've been hounding the school for as long as I can remember. It's thanks to the police that the media and the news aren't swarming us like we're celebrities or martyrs."
"Oh, that makes sense," Mili said, rubbing her head with a hint of dullness. "What about the school administration and the chairmen? They must be trying to contain the chaos."
"Correct, but have you heard about the student interrogations?"
"Ah... yeah..." She looked anguished. "Only from the suspected class and the football team and their supervisor, and I guess their families too..."
"And us as well," I added.
"Us?!" She looked shocked.
"Didn't you hear? Some second-year students were also interrogated about the same matter."
"Seriously?! That means we might be interrogated too!"
"Might be..."
"Oh, man! I hope they don’t find out I cheated on the last math ex—wait, might?"
"I sincerely doubt they will ask about that," I said sarcastically. "Anyways, it's most likely students who interacted with the suspect at some point or anyone they choose to question, even those who never had any contact with the suspect."
"Seriously?! That's just unfair!" Mili cursed in frustration.
"It's called investigation. Though an indirect one. So far, they haven't identified the dealer's identity, which could be anyone from the school. They are hoping to find him or her by forcibly rooting them out of fear. They place their bet on their accidental mistake to slip up. "
"Well, you certainly did your homework!" Mili looked at me suspiciously.
"You could say that..." I replied, looking away and gazing at the scenery outside.
"Oh, man! I can't believe it!" Mili burst out again.
"What now? Did you forget your purse or your homework?"
"What?! No! Well, yeah, I did forget about the homework, but that's not the point!" She sighed in frustration. "I heard that the school was planning to introduce security cameras. It's nothing new in the hallways, but guess what? In the bathrooms too! That's just an invasion of privacy!"
"Well, bathrooms are the only places where secrecy remains," I noted.
"Are you supporting this?" Mili questioned.
"I didn't say I am. I'm just stating a fact behind it."
"Again, that doesn't change the idea..." She was growing increasingly bitter.
More students slowly began to fill the class as we spoke. all looking doubtful and in distress.
"Moving on..." I sighed, irritated. "I won't be surprised if they do. Security measures will only get stricter from here."
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
"Yeah, no kidding. At this rate, I won't be able to use my phone for texting."
"All the more reason for them to suspect you," I said indifferently.
"What the!? What the heck is wrong with you?"
"Tiny details like texting on your phone can inadvertently give the police what they're looking for. They can't pry into your privacy, but they'll find other ways. Just like how stubbornly you want to use your phone. They'll be equally determined."
Mili grew cold and fearful of my words as if I had somehow hurt her or aroused suspicion.
"What are you saying Crawler ot choas -San? Are you seriously suspecting me?!"
My eyes widened as I heard a muffling deep voice uttered from Mili's. which sounded anything but human, rather monstrous.
(What was that voice I just heard?)
"Look," Mili spoke tearfully. "I know I've changed into a gal and it doesn't fit your preference for the kind of people you like. But that doesn't give you the right to frame me as..."
"What did you just call me?" I asked hastily.
"What?" She looked confused.
"What did you call me?"
"My name?"
"Yeah! What did you think I called you? A jackass? Because that would suit you perfectly!"
"Alright, class! Everyone, line up and follow me to the stadium. The principal has an announcement to make. Don't get lost or run away, or there will be consequences!"
Our homeroom teacher, Sensei Mustaki Arakito, called us to form a line as the remaining students filled the classroom.
Mili glared back at me in anger and grunted as she left to join her group.
I sat there in turmoil, every second torturously reminding me of the events that had led to this abysmal state. I was burdened with the unbearable knowledge that, now as ever, I was powerless to explain.
"Come on, move it Ehye nwnglui ehye -San!" Sensei called me impatiently.
"But I am... Makas?"
----------------------------------------
The students finally gathered at the gymnasium, where normally indoor sports events, graduations, and ceremonial announcements took place. And, of course, emergencies like this one.
The place was relatively large and spacious enough for the number of Komori Academy students in attendance. However, for now, the head chairman didn't bother to take a seat and simply stood on the stage at the far end of the hall, alongside the student council president and its members. The committee members of the guidance counselors mostly consisted of teachers, with only a few police officers present.
As we waited for the other students to arrive alongside their homeroom teachers, I was still grasping the recent events.
For some reason, whenever somebody called me, cryptic and incomprehensible language I had never heard before seemed directed at me, and only me. Additionally, I felt the whole world begin to shake, and my vision slowly dwindled into something I would never be able to describe.
The words sounded strange and guttural, seemingly impossible for the human mouth to pronounce. I was certain that such exotic words were not compatible with any language of this world, even though I fluently knew more than six languages: Japanese, English, Arabic, French, Latin, and Chinese. While these languages weren't enough to cover all the world's dialects, I was convinced in my heart that what I heard was far from anything of human origin.
Yet, I still tried tirelessly to transcribe the language, resulting in consonant clusters that sounded foreign to anyone's ear. Part of me felt that I understood what it said, if I may be so bold. I believe it said, "Crawling chaos," while the second part remained untranscribed.
I must be going mad if I'm attempting to translate such alien and nonsensical words like this.
(What is wrong with me? What has been happening since the more-)
"Thank you for your patience, students and staff members of the Academy," the chairman finally spoke.
He appeared to be an older man in his late forties with short grey hair swept to the left. This had always been something that confused me. He looked old but retained a youthful nature. He consistently showed a gentle side to the students and staff members, always remaining an honest and good-natured man, ready to help anyone in need. Many officials from corporate and governmental circles found this vexing and advantageous.
"Before we get started, allow me to apologize for all the recent troubling events that have put our staff members and beloved students in jeopardy and stress," the chairman spoke calmly and sincerely, though his expression showed pain. "I understand that this sudden turn of events has been troubling in every way. But I can assure you that we are doing our best to help every one of you in every way we can—for the students, the teachers, our community, and the future generation to come."
"As you have heard by now, which allows me to summarize: Three students from the third year of the football team were found..."
(Sunoda Shininjiro...)
"Guilty of possession of drug paraphernalia and were expelled from the school immediately."
(Kinotsumi Aritoru...)
"For whatever reasons they were involved in such business, I am not allowed to share, nor should you know."
(And finally... The Prince Futoshi Takenobu...)
"But I am not here to address the crime just like that. I am here to bear a message not only as the Head of the Chairmen Committee but also as Kawatsuka Arsu, a human just like any of you."
My reaction was indifferent and undefined to every word he said as if I wasn't impressed and held no care for his so-called advice.
"Please...please excuse me..."
Meanwhile, among the crowd, a shaking second-year girl made her way forward with concern.
It was none other than the now infamous basketball player, Akita Kyoka, once prestigious and admired, now labeled as shameful and untrustworthy. Everyone looked at her with unease and resentment.
(I wonder why just...)
"What happened with these students is supposed to be their own business. We aren't allowed to pry and intervene in their lives by any means. And certainly, it is not something we are supposed to follow and admire. I believe every person's journey should be forged on their own and never follow others as an example. It is certainly nice to admire success, especially if they achieve it through hard work. I know the members of the football team and their instructor did, as well as their friends and families. But this news has changed our views completely. Even I, myself, say that I always believed they were good-natured students committed to their studies and activities, like any other students." The chairman looked sorrowful. "Unfortunately, every person has their way of building their path toward achieving happiness and success. It's never as easy as others perceive it. It requires a great deal of patience and commitment."
The chairman's words resonated with the audience as he continued to address the situation.
"Indeed," he continued, his voice filled with empathy. "We must remember that everyone faces their challenges and battles, even those who may seem successful or happy on the surface. It is not our place to judge but rather to support and provide help when it's needed."
He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in before continuing. "This incident serves as a reminder that we should be vigilant in looking out for one another, especially in times of distress. Our school community is a family, and we must stand by each other, offering help and understanding when it's required."
The chairman's words carried a message of unity and compassion, urging everyone present to reflect on their actions and the way they treated their peers. It was a call for empathy and support, a lesson learned from a shocking event that had shaken their school to its core.
But it did not for. Not even a little.
I knew the horrible truth from the beginning, and therefore, I acted.
Now I understand why this chairman was easily manipulated by governmental affairs and benefited from it. For he failed to see the truth and simply clung to the superficial sides, as life had taught us all this time. He never delved into the depths before the depths consumed him, making him one of its pawns.
I always admired how beautiful and conflicting the depth is. It's shrouded in mysteries that could dignify beauty and ugliness, contentment and despair. It brought forth danger and, in return, nurtured and revealed the genuine emotions of a person, something I have always been interested in.
For some reason, I harbored a fourth-dimensional ability, that of revealing the psychic, the true self beneath the persona others wore. It was as if I could see through them or simply feel a disturbance emanating from others. An ability I was never able to understand but thoroughly enjoyed. This power or talent opened the path to the deep.
Not even the greatest liar could hide from me. I knew too well what their hearts could not restrain.
And these martyrs of the national football team were no different. I saw their blackened hearts like a transparent veil concealing all that was true and fake.
If they were indeed drug abusers, I would have offered my sympathy to them. Drugs are a means to escape from the stress and pain that this world has to offer, especially if you are held in high regard as a prince or a football champion. But the truth was, it was all an orchestrated hoax.
Why would they ever resort to such methods when they already held the throne and had it all? They lived their lives as if they owned it, all deserved through their hard work in sports. Why would they ever grow sick of it when they already had everything?
They committed a crime that I considered far worse than murder, acting like false gods who preyed on the weak.
They had everything: love, attention, friends, love interests, fame, and glory. If that were all, it would be fine. But no, they had to flaunt it to the world, brandishing their titles and dominion over others as a merited win and justifiable reward for their efforts and success. Those who dared to question their rule, and their imperialism, faced consequences.
Well... I don't need to explain more. History has already provided enough evidence.
Hiding in the shadows like the gods they pretended to be, they showed the world their glory and magnificence, only to reveal the pain they inflicted upon others when you ventured into the alleyways. They tortured others in every way they saw fit, asserting false dominion and a false sense of superiority that nobody asked for.
Some knew of their machinations but chose to excuse them, believing that's just how the world works—a balance of good and evil. I called it God's pleasure.
That's how our prince charming was, a false god who gifted the world with smiles and inflicted pain on others, all in the name of the glory that he towered above and that everyone valued.
I had seen his horrible face many times, too many to count and too little to call genuine.
I had seen through his lies, how he physically abused the rookies of the football team as a means of a lesson, how he used his fame and glory to gain a sense of reputation and used it for his lustful desires of intimacy, and how he forced himself on others, whether they desired it or not. I had seen that god-forsaken smile. Whether it was sadism or greed, it mattered very little. It was all to satiate his pleasure. God's pleasure.
(Who the hell does he think he is when he pleasures himself with others' pain? What does he know about pain?)
(You are no god... and if the true god doesn't want to spread the dread of that feeling that your Highness so willingly shared, then I will...)
(And I just did that, I showed him what a god is truly like...)
"And with that, I would like to invite the student council president, Mei Hamamura, to explain the new rules and delegation..."
As the headmaster finished his speech, the crowd began to clap in admiration, while I simply stood there, silent and in turmoil over the words I had just spoken in my head.
When did I say all of that? When did I become this... this...
I felt nauseated as if I were about to throw up.
I quickly excused myself and left the gymnasium in a rush, and out of terror, a sudden realization hit me.
I framed those three students...
meanwhile, Mili looked at me in distress and kept her stare as I left the gymnasium...
----------------------------------------
In the bathroom, I took a heavy sigh as I looked at myself in the mirror after vomiting a considerable amount. Whether it was a result of my illness or everything that had happened until now, I couldn't tell.
But something was amiss. I didn't feel like myself, and yet, I was myself.
Just a moment ago, I noticed how the school and the outside walls started to appear even more surreal, as if they were cracks in glass or tiles on a window pane about to grow larger with time. And I was the only one aware.
In the depths of my mind and heart, the world around me slumbered in blissful ignorance, while I found myself haunted by a disquieting thought that gnawed at the edges of my sanity. It was a question I dared not utter aloud, fearing I'd be labeled as mad, but it persisted like an unshakable specter in the recesses of my mind.
What if this reality, this world I perceived with my senses, was nothing more than an intricate illusion, a grand charade crafted to deceive me? What if the very fabric of existence, the walls that confined me, were mere smoke and mirrors designed to obscure a more sinister truth?
I watched people go about their daily lives, oblivious to the possibility that their every action, their every emotion, was scripted, rehearsed, and monitored by an unseen force. The world unfolded with such precision, such predictability, that it seemed as if we were all actors in a cosmic stage production, following a meticulously choreographed script.
The laws of nature, the constants that governed our universe, left me wondering if they were simply arbitrary rules imposed upon us. Was gravity real, or was it a clever trick played on our senses? Did the stars in the sky truly exist, or were they mere points of light painted on a cosmic canvas?
And what of those voices? Were they genuine recollections of who I am, or were they the words of a fourth-dimensional entity watching over us, speaking through fabricated narratives carefully constructed to shape our identities and control our destinies? How could I trust the very thoughts coursing through my mind and soul when they might be the product of a malevolent intellect, manipulating me like a marionette on strings?
Perhaps the truth lay beyond the boundaries of human comprehension, forbidden knowledge hidden from our grasp.
For now, I remained a reluctant passenger on this enigmatic journey, forever vigilant, forever suspicious of the reality that surrounded me.
As I left the bathroom, I noticed how the fissures had begun to grow and emerge on the hallway floor, like a small valley forming as a result of some kind of earthquake that nobody, not even me, was aware of.
(What is going on...)
“R'luhhor ah'n'gha'drn!”
As I heard the sound again, I looked back in terror only to see a familiar face.
"Ah!" Mia panicked. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you..."
"Mia-chan," I spoke wearily. "Why are you here?"
"I know! I know... you told me to keep my distance after what-"
"Let's cut to the chase and answer my question," I said bitterly.
"I'm sorry!" She grew fearful. "Are you... are you okay?"
"Do I look like it?" I answered angrily, growing more agitated by the second. "What do you want?"
"It's just... this is not what I imagined."
"What exactly do you mean?"
"They are framing me, Mgvulgtnahor incarnate! Everyone thinks I'm the one who did it, who gave him the drugs just because I was his girlfriend!"
"Keep it quiet, Mia," I spoke callously.
"I'm sorry!" She grew rueful. "It's just... this was not supposed to happen."
"Well, what did you think, Mia? Just like in movies and shows, the bad guys are caught, and the heroes are praised for their efforts and labeled as men of justice. This isn't sunshine and rainbows. Deal with it."
"But everything I went through!" she shouted in anger. "After what that... what that monster did to me! What he..."
She began to tear up, recalling that painful event.
"When he touched me... and... and..."
"You don't have to explain, Mia... I understand," I spoke casually. "And like I said, deal with it."
"What?" Mia was shocked.
"You had your chance before what I did. You could have reported it to the police and told them everything."
"It would have never worked! You know that more than anyone! That's why -"
"Did you actually try? Or are you saying that because you had no courage to do so? it's not my fault if you are too cowardly or should I say too stupid to fall into that prince charming hands. "
At those words, Mia was stunned by the horrible truth. But she was even more horrified by me than she initially feared.
Every word I spoke left me feeling numb. Every emotion of a man had vanished in me on a whim. There was no smile, no remorse, not even a single hint of a soul within me. I was as dead as a doornail.
"What is wrong with you..." Mia cried again. "I thought... I thought I could count on you! I thought... I thought you were different from others! I thought you were-"
"I'll stop you right there, Mia, and give you an ultimatum," I paused her. I spoke with a cold and heartless tone. "I am even worse than that monster you feared. Far worse."
A long silence enveloped us as reality began to shatter, one second at a time. I could hear the cracks finally beginning to break as we looked at each other in silence.
"What are you then.... the devil?" Mia said indifferently.
"I am the nuclear chaos itself," I muttered to myself as I finally recalled myself and grasped the message of this dream.
I looked at my hands which are now stained in blood. I looked back at Mia and noticed how her skin and the world around me began to dissolve in blood. Only her facial features remain as the rest of her body melted in blood. She wasn’t the only one as more faces began to conjure around me like a withering pool.
The walls, the world itself began to pour in blood.
This is who I am.... who I was all along... I have finally found my answer.
I looked at my hands, now stained with blood. I glanced back at M
I stared at my hands, horrified by the blood staining them. Turning slowly, I gazed back at Mia and watched in terror as her skin and the entire world around me began to dissolve into a swirling pool of blood. Her eyes, her nose, her mouth, all that made her recognizable, remained intact amidst the gruesome transformation. She seemed trapped in a nightmarish tableau.
But Mia wasn't the only one affected. More faces began to materialize around me, emerging from the thickening crimson sea-like haunting apparitions. Their eyes were filled with pain and despair, their silent screams echoing in my ears.
As I looked around, I realized that the walls themselves, the very fabric of the world, had started to flow with blood. It oozed down the surfaces, forming grotesque patterns and swirling eddies. The once-familiar surroundings had been twisted into a horrifying nightmare, a realm of relentless crimson that threatened to consume everything in its path.
This is who I am. I have finally found my answer.
I was a sinner who had committed countless heinous crimes, acts so inhumane that forgiveness seemed almost impossible. I had ruined people's lives, mentally tortured them, and stripped away any hope of redemption, plunging them deeper into their personal hells.
I had passed judgment upon those false gods, pretending to be a righteous arbiter of justice, when in reality, I only sought to satisfy my own base desires.
Regardless, I was damned to eternally serve this penance, ordained by the very entities I had condemned in the same way I had condemned others.
I died and then cursed to be revived in a world more ravaged and unfair than before, with the burden of remembering everything from my past life—a fate worse than death.
Yes, I remembered—the moment when my mother had died, and I was about to meet the same fate, buried alive beneath a suffocating pile of cold snow.
That's right—I had lost my will to live, the only reason that had kept me from seeking death. My mother, Freia the same woman I had cursed, deceived, and lied to in my twisted pursuit of pleasure. After all she had endured, her son was the last glimmer of hope she clung to in this unjust world.
The Great Old Ones, when I had passed judgment on others, I did so recklessly, without regard for my own surroundings, acting as if I were free from any consequences. Until they passed their judgment onto me—the sinner that I am.
I had always been just like them—a monster.
As I delved deeper into this new realization, my mind became a battlefield where reason clashed with the incomprehensible. I found myself tormented by an existential crisis of nightmarish proportions. The knowledge of the Great Old Ones shattered the fragile illusion of a rational and orderly universe. Were we nothing more than insignificant specks in the cosmic void, subject to the capricious whims of beings beyond mortal reckoning?
The more I pondered, the further I descended into madness, my sanity slipping away like grains of sand through trembling fingers. The Great Old Ones, with their nameless dread, had become an obsession that threatened to consume my very soul, leaving me teetering on the precipice of an abyss of existential despair.
I am... I am... a monster... a demon... I always have been.
Amidst the dark realm of the unknown, a white light sparked in the distance. It either pulled me or I was drawn to it—I couldn't tell. I was lost in the void of my unconscious.
Where had I seen this light before? When was it?
Just as an orb of light became clearly visible, I finally identified the source of illumination—it was a white rose, just like the one I had seen moments before I was born into this world.
"...... Lily......" I muttered sorrowfully.
A sense of calamity washed over me as I instinctively gravitated towards the light and closed my eyes peacefully.
I wasn't expecting death, rebirth, salvation, or damnation. I didn't care about heaven or hell.
The silent peace... that was all I had ever wanted...
----------------------------------------
"By Odin's beard! will we ever find something mid this snow?"
"Ehhhh!" one Nord grunted in anger. "I doubt. But have faith in the boss! he always finds his way!"
"We can't just count on the boss to do everything! we gotta hammer our steel and spirit like how our brethren and sister did before us!"
"Save your speech lad! it's no longer the past. we are far beyond that time...."
"Huh?! Did you just sham-"
"Brothers!" The boss Wilmik the Heavy spoke cheerfully as he emerged from the snowstorm. Carrying a wolf corpse "We have got food for tonight!"
"Hail Andhrímnir Cauldron! we celebrate tonight!"
"I will drink and hope those republican dogs won't pester my ass for the next hours!"
"Is beer and meat all want you pig?"
"So long it satisfies my mood? sure! I will live like a pig!" The lazy Nord chuckled in pride.
"Come on fellas!" Wilmik tried to settle down the heat. "We deserve a break for a while. after the hollowed ones kept marching from the west-"
"Boss!" The eager Nord spoke up. "Look behind you! at the hill!"
Wilmik dropped the wolf and quickly looked as he had drawn his blade ready. The other two Nords were as well but the weary one only cared for his meal of the day more.
At the Hill, a mysterious figure emerged as it walked down the slop. completely ruffed by the snowstorm and its cold gaze.
"Who are you?!" Wilmik shouted. "Are you one of the survivors of the western lands? we can help you if you are!"
As the figure approached. its shape began to form as a human wearing a white coat. Bandages covering all its face, governing ambiguity. Tettered robe and coat, unkmept for ages to tell. All while holding the body of a child who was freezing to death.
Wilmik took note of the child's presence. He feared the worst, he jolted toward the one in a white coat until it was seen clearly.
He quickly examined the child only to find him cold as ice. Nearly grips away from death.
"He is suffering from Hypothermia. quickly, let me take him from you." Wilmik took Maka's cold body from the figure's hands and quickly ran in the opposite direction, Towards the High walls of Gutmar. "Quickly follow me, we have food and shelter if you and your so-Huh?"
Wilmik stuttered for a moment as he noticed The figure in a white coat began to walk back into the snowstorm.
"Hey wait! You are not going to leave your child just like that!" Wilmik said angrily. "Come back I said. Hey-"
"He is not mine..." The one in the white coat mumbled under her bandages. "I won't repeat the same mistake again..."
"Wha- what?!" Wilmik said in confusion. Just then, the one in the white coat slowly disappeared into the mist of snow. "Hey! wait! Come back!"
"Take good care of him..... he is our only hope...."
With those final words. The one in a white coat left the three Nords in shock and utter confusion.
With that, the ritual is about to begin.
Makas Transformation was about to take place.