For a brief moment, I felt like I had been knocked out. Everything turned obsidian and vague, my vision first paralyzed, followed by my body slumping to the floor.
The last thing I heard and witnessed was a knife unsheathed from Dragotin's pocket, only to slip away as he was pushed aside.
I slowly opened my eyes and witnessed the newly found pandemonium of Nord's bickering among themselves in a wrathful tone. Filled with hatred, malice, and, more importantly, bloodthirst.
But primarily, they grumbled and protested against none other than Milwak, who stood beside me.
He had a muscular but lean build, as expected for such a fast man, though his stature belied his incredible strength. His eyes were light blue, and his hair was light blonde.
It seemed he had bested Dragotin in an instant, evident by the newly shattered table where we had played the game. Milwak had thrown it as if it were a weightless object, scattering it into mere wooden pieces.
Dragotin lay face down on the broken table, growling in pain.
(I was... so close... why?)
"GOOD ONE, BOSS!"
"SERVES HIM RIGHT!"
"GET THE TRAITOR!"
"Let's have his head, boss!"
"EVERYBODY, CLEAN THIS MESS BEFORE THE GUARDS COME HERE!" Milwak shouted savagely, commanding the Nords like the leader he is.
"BUT, BOSS!"
"I know what he did. I heard everything on the way here," Milwak spoke furiously. "But he is not worth wasting your wrath on, brothers!"
"LIKE HELL HE IS! HE STOLE OUR FOOD!"
"Brothers, please listen to me," Milwak implored. "I will explain everything if you just—"
"NO! YOU KNOW WHO STOLE OUR FOOD? THE REPUBLIC!"
"YEAH! LET'S MARCH ON THEIR WALLS NOW!"
"WE WILL HAVE JUSTICE!"
"Everyone, no wait—" Milwak's words were interrupted by the newly moved protest as they marched out of the cafeteria and into the walls, one stirred and orchestrated by none other than me...
I remained frozen amidst the whole scuffle, as it passed by as if it wasn't even there. Furious at the failed murder attempt that I had planned all along, while repeating the same words in my mind.
(Why can't I die? Why can't I just die? Why?)
"HODOR! GET YOUR MEN AND FOLLOW ME!"
"ON IT!" Hodor, who was in the back, nodded and went outside.
"Get over here, you!" Milwak pulled me heatedly as he dragged me away. "In the cabin, and wait for me!"
----------------------------------------
As I stepped out into the biting cold, I was immediately engulfed by the fury of the snowstorm. The world around me had transformed into a swirling white abyss alongside the hellfire I had just unleashed upon these cold, rigorous lands. A fire that could not be extinguished by a simple canister of water or the harsh, chilling storm.
While the path seemed too simple, each step I took felt like an arduous journey, and the snow beneath my boots crunched, sending shivers through my entire body. Yet, I walked as hollow as the dead, unaffected and unconcerned by the enraged storm.
The wind howled like a vengeful spirit, pushing against me with relentless force as if whispering to me to fight alongside the Nords against injustice. But I didn't cherish or bother, as I was engrossed in contemplation of the recent events that had led me to this point. All I could do was ask myself:
"What the hell happened back there?"
The only logical explanation I could offer was that I was possessed, as if some third-world demon had taken control of my body. Even as I said this, I could hardly believe it myself.
The way I had acted so mischievously, the way I had spoken playfully, the way I had smiled so fiendishly, the way I had danced through the game, and the results I had brought forth nonchalantly, as if I had no part in it, and how... I had enjoyed it.
Possession is a mere excuse and what I had done was a crime beyond redemption, yet another sin weighing on my shoulders, and yet I felt a strange pride in it.
It was as if I didn't mind this hell, I didn't mind the idea of igniting another war in the already suffocating lives of the Nords. An even more horrifying realization came when I considered how I had planned this diabolical scheme to incite a protest between the Republic and the Nords, plunging them further into the complicated turbulence of a political world I knew little about.
It was as if I wanted this chaos for my own amusement, a sadistic behavior that allowed me to revel in the suffering of others while their blood and souls stained the road, all tainted by my own cold hands without any acknowledgment, mercy, or concern.
The thought of it made me sick. I wanted to puke at the very instant I crawled out of the cafeteria.
What have I done? I kept asking myself in ignorance.
Why would I ever want something like this? I impugned my desire.
How could I do something so horrible?! I kept denying it to myself.
Why... why would the world ever want to resurrect and give a second chance to someone like me?
"What the f**k was that about, Makas!" Milwak shouted as I walked outside and took shelter behind one of the snag trees on the outskirts of Bastion of Gumtar.
The Nords might have been surprised by my involvement, but Milwak knew me too well, or, to be exact, he saw through me.
"Getting yourself involved with Dragotin is the last thing I told you ever to do! And here you are, indulging in gambling games in the most sadistic way possible! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"
I leaned against the tree, looking down at the compacted snow, feeling detached from every emotion of guilt, rage, and sadness.
"You already know the answer to that question," I said quietly.
"Ah, so you just want chaos to pervade, is that it?" Milwak spoke sarcastically. "You want to torture my already dying race in a pit of war, a riot just for your amusement?"
"You don't have to tell me twice," I spoke furiously, beginning to grow irritated.
"THEN TELL ME, BOY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT—"
"To die! That's what I want! I want to die, Milwak! I don't want to live in this godforsaken world or any world! I wish God would come and just finish me off here and now!"
"........" A silence prevailed between us as the shocked Milwak took a moment to grasp the sudden breakdown I had unleashed.
This was the first time I ever broke down in agony, releasing all the internal screams that I had buried for the last sixteen years of this phony existence.
This wasn't a call for help; it was a death wish.
"We've been over this for the last two years, and it barely helped," Milwak stuttered while rubbing his eyes, groaning with guilt. Then he sighed madly as he held me by the collar with fury in his ferocious eyes.
"Still clinging to that death wish of yours?!" He said bitterly as I looked at him dispirited.
He had known for a while that I was suicidal. He was the one who saved me from dying in the chilling, frozen wasteland four years ago. The moment I woke up back then, he only found a hollow child, empty, mindless, and lacking any reason for living.
There he was suspicious. This was proven more at times when, once, a wooden cargo filled with all kinds of steel and iron ores fell against a cliff and nearly killed me. I only stood there, greeting death with a warm welcome, until, of course, I was saved by him again.
In nearly every close-to-death situation, I somehow managed to survive. It wasn't luck; it was as if fate didn't want me dead yet. Rather, it wanted me to suffer more...
And Milwak was perhaps one of the many fates trying to impede my dying wish.
I always seemed to forget that I didn't come here to redeem myself, inculcate my pleasures, or prevent the impending end. I was here to suffer in hell.
"...... Damn you, kid..." Milwak sighed heavily as he pulled his hands away from me. "Not to mention the chaos you've brought us into. Do you know what's going on out there?"
I kept silent, broken but aware.
"War! A war, kid!"
He switched back to his heated tone. "And about earlier today in the mine? You talked about how we're all going to die, and nothing matters in front of my people? You call that fav—?"
He stuttered and turned around, looking at the snowy, uniform lands as he continued to scold me.
"I'm working my ass off to keep what's left of my culture alive, but here you are!" He shouted progressively. "I don't care about your hollow wish, but that doesn't excuse bringing others down with you, the very same people who are trying to survive."
While I may not look like it, I indeed felt a little guilty about forcing my nihilistic ideas on people who were already facing death head-on. It was like I was dragging my curse onto others in a chain reaction.
It was simply wrong. I had no desire to hurt others, not even Dragotin himself. I never asked for this, and yet everything that had happened thus far had been for my self-centered cause.
"Well... it doesn't matter anymore."
Milwak chuckled as he uttered those words.
"Wh-what?"
“Still.... that won't be enough for me to simply forgive you.” He said as he started to walk away from the snag tree. “Meet me at the warehouse. I happen to be free, so bring your sword.”
“........”
----------------------------------------
My concerns were overshadowed by the inner conflict I was struggling with, as well as Milwak's ambiguous reaction to the consequences of my irrational behavior, which had implications for both the Nords and the Republic.
What I did is far from a lighthearted scandal. Such a felony can tarnish the Nords' already esteemed reputation, potentially leading to a conflict that entraps their destiny. Every decision they make could shape their future, a future I callously disregarded with my actions of bravado and chivalry.
However, on my way back, I could only imagine Milwak's horrifying reaction to this newly created mess. To my surprise, his behavior was quite the opposite, though not entirely unexpected.
I wondered why he seemed to be taking this matter so lightly, a notion I found difficult to believe. Milwak would never forsake his commitment to his fellow Nords, even if it meant leaving his wife and daughter behind in the Republic to join his brethren within the high walls. His son had followed suit earlier. He would never abandon his people, in keeping with the honor of a Nord.
Speaking of his family, I could only imagine the horrors they might face as a result of my mockery, further burdening him with the weight of foreign threats.
As I approached the main gates of the warehouse, I heard the creaking of a wooden door. It must have been one of the side doors. There were no sounds, only the soft drifting of snow outside, whispering of cold and despair.
The warehouse, of fairly medium size, resembled more of a sheep's barn. Most of the space was filled with wooden barrels, unused fire stoves, a makeshift table, and iron equipment. Pickaxes and shovels, along with more miscellaneous items, were piled up like a mountain of untouched clutter, scattered haphazardly throughout the interior.
The room was illuminated by a lantern that cast a warm glow toward the center, resembling a sun disk. I sat on a wooden chair, shrouded in the dimness of the warehouse, waiting patiently.
To my right, lay a steel short sword with a weight and length suitable for a young person like myself.
Milwak had given me this sword as a reward for surviving this long. He told me, "You deserve it."
What he truly meant was to stand up and face whatever challenges came my way, as if staring death in the eye, treating it as just one of many obstacles. Otherwise, I would have perished long ago.
He isn't mistaken... But as long as there's a reason... you're motivated to fight back because you want to live. It's a desire to which you've wholeheartedly anchored yourself, like a lifeline. As long as you fill that void with a purpose, you can overcome anything that diverts you from your goal.
But... in my case... I truly don't have any purpose.
I can only remember the times I fought back, which were all related to my mother's life. Unfortunately, they were in vain, as she is no longer alive...
Therefore... is there any reason to continue fighting? I no longer desire life, nor do I wish for death, as I made clear not long ago...
So, what's the real purpose? Why should I hold this sword? Why should I fight? What goal am I pursuing when the outcome seems so certain?
(I...)
"What the hell?" I grunted as I recoiled from the kick to my back.
"Were you dozing off or having an existential crisis?" Milwak remarked caustically.
"Huh..." I sighed in resignation. "You're not wrong there."
"You're as transparent as the sky...!" He exclaimed. "Now, come on, let's get back to training."
"Is this really the time to train me? Don't you have... don't you want to return to your-"
"Not now... I'm not in the mood," Milwak said bitterly. "I need some time to think this over, and training with you is a good way to clear my mind."
I stood up, gripping the sword, and walked toward the center of the room to receive one of my many lessons in swordsmanship.
"It's been a while since I trained you. Have you been keeping up with your workouts?"
"Somewhat."
"You should do more than that!" Milwak sighed indifferently. "Come on, let's review basic sword parries."
I assumed my stance, with my left foot forward and the right one back, preparing to face the formidable Milwak, among the Viking warriors.
His reputation as one of the finest swordsmen was well-deserved, and his ingenious strategies were a force to be reckoned with.
Milwak had a unique approach that hinged on cunning deception. He would swing his blade with the force of a sledgehammer, enticing opponents into counterattacks. Then, in the blink of an eye, he'd handle his sword like a mere wooden stick, deftly evading their strikes and gaining the upper hand. His strategy revolved around creating the illusion of vulnerability, misleading his adversaries, and exploiting their misconceptions.
He had offered to instruct me in his tactics, but I couldn't emulate Milwak, and my swordsmanship lacked a distinctive touch. I hesitated, still in pursuit of my own strategy.
We clashed for a while, with Milwak's blade moving effortlessly in various directions, compelling me to parry and respond.
"Alright, let's get serious now!" he declared.
"Got it," I replied, preparing myself.
Changes:
Milwak initiated his attack, starting with a potent Oberhau aimed at my left shoulder. I quickly parried the blow, but he smoothly shifted into a Zornhau thrust directed at my neck. I narrowly evaded the attack, stumbling to the ground.
"That was terrible, Kid!" Milwak scolded me. "You were supposed to raise your blade upward to counter with Absetzen. You did it for a moment but couldn't withstand the force of my blade."
I sat on the ground, defeated, frustration welling up as I was compelled to train against my will.
"Again! Stand up!" Milwak ordered, and I obeyed, resuming my stance. The irritation grew as I was pushed to my limits.
The second round began with Milwak swinging his blade from various angles, and I skillfully parried each strike. I observed that his attacks were light, enabling him to regain his composure quickly.
When he attempted a pirouette, I saw an opportunity to strike at his abdomen. However, he crouched and spun, delivering a kick that sent me sprawling once again.
"YOU'RE TOO RECKLESS, BOY! YOU'RE NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!" Sigrid shouted in anger. "You're too predictable, Knight! You must concentrate on your opponent's movements!"
I remained on the ground, unmoved by his teachings, but my irritation continued to mount.
"Maybe you're just not cut out to be a Makas," Sigrid mumbled hopelessly before turning away. "Maybe that's why you won't be able to protect anyone, not even yourself."
My thoughts raced back to the day my mother died in my arms, and a wave of helplessness and guilt overwhelmed me.
"I tried... I swear I did," I mumbled, tears welling up, clutching my sword as my gaze bore into Milwak.
He turned away, only to confront a transformed, vengeful man. My eyes blazed with icy determination and a thirst for vengeance. My unsteady stance shifted into that of a dedicated sword user.
"I swear... I TRIED TO SAVE HER!" I shouted with madness, charging toward Milwak.
I couldn't recall anything from that moment as we confronted each other.
We exchanged furious blows, with each of my attacks becoming more powerful. I employed feints and light attacks to confuse him. Milwak attempted an Oberhau, and I countered with a Zornhau, strategizing my moves.
Frustration took over, and I instinctively reached for the dagger Winfrey had bestowed upon me, throwing it at Sigrid. He narrowly evaded it.
Changes:
I launched an sideline attack, setting a trap, but Milwak executed a swift pirouette and launched a counterattack that sent me staggering. In retaliation, I delivered a powerful kick to his left knee, causing him pain.
Not bad, Kiddo," Milwak grunted, stepping back. "You hit the nerve just right."
"I tried... I swear I did," I interrupted Sigrid's praise, my tone a blend of madness and fury. "I tried... I tried... I tried... I SWEAR I TRIED TO SAVE HER!"
"OI, MAKAS! CALM DOWN!" Milwak barely had time to react before I lunged at him like a wild animal, abandoning all self-control, tapping into an inner rage and madness, fueled by guilt and regret.
With each strike I parried, I retaliated, gradually wearing him down. My small frame and short stature were disadvantages, but my determination only grew stronger.
After blocking one of his attacks, I spun and followed with an Oberhau. Milwak skillfully countered with a Zornhau and a swift kick to my face.
I stood there, seething with a murderous desire, my sword trembling in my hand. I felt as though a demon had taken control of me.
"Am I... transforming into a demon?" I pondered.
My thoughts spiraled, and I released my sword, sinking to my knees with my head in my hands, succumbing to despair.
"I AM... THE SOURCE OF ALL MISERY..."
Suddenly, Milwak tried to extend his hand on my shoulder, to perhaps comfort me.
"Don't!" I swiftly recoiled in the tempest. "Stay away from me!"
"Makas," Milwak stammered. "I didn't intend to-"
"It doesn't matter whether you meant it or not! I don't want your sympathy! I don't deserve it."
"I'm sorry, lad," Milwak said, his voice tinged with sorrow. "You've suffered greatly."
For a mere moments, It was a warmth that brought back memories of my mother's affectionate hugs, but the happiness I had been unable to give her now seemed like an unattainable dream. The emptiness I carried as a child resurfaced.
As I knelt amidst a sea of guilt, regret, sorrow, and turmoil, I couldn't help but think, 'I truly am a burden on this world...'
"Leave me be...." I muttered as I departed from the warehouse, consumed by anguish and regret.
----------------------------------------
"How are you holding up, kid?" Milwak asked with concern.
"I am..." I took a sigh and admitted, "Still not good, to be honest, but better than before."
After the battle had ended, I left outside and hid behind one of the trees that roamed the nearby forest while staring at the high walls from a distance. I could see the riot beginning to take shape with their voices and claws in fury and freedom. I couldn't do much but felt regretful as I watched the scenery unfold amidst the calm snowstorm.
"You got yourself worked up a little too much, lad," Milwak laughed off lightly. He was about to place his hand on my back for comfort but eventually retracted it. "Still... You made a huge step."
"Yeah, chaos... like any demon would do," I answered back, discouraged, as I felt no sense of victory but rather a taste of utter failure and defeat.
We quietly sat down as I gazed at the thousand barely visible stars that roamed freely the planes of space, like a bird that flew boundlessly disregarding the laws of the world of all kinds alike.
Every time I look up at the sky, I can't help but wonder what these Eldritch gods are doing to us and why they chose to suffer this transgression.
I am not denying that what I did in the past is anything but a mid-core sin. I am a man indeed destined to be punished for such sins; however, why could I just be sent to hell like any other sinner? Why me, a weakly fledgling monster, is granted a second chance?
No matter how many times I ask, it won't budge, nor will it change anything.
"I wonder if one day we are going to see the stars up close," Milwak asked ambitiously as he gazed back.
"If this universe decides to stick around a while longer, then yeah, we will one day."
"You sound so sure, kid; nobody ever went to the beyond!" Milwak said jokingly.
"Beyond these grounds, there lies a constellation of planetary worlds that orbit the sun. Each planet has its own characteristics that differ from one another, from time, moons, substance, and matter. Like how Pluto has five moons, and one day lasts about one hundred fifty hours, and how the temperature varies around minus four hundred and three hundred degrees... And beyond that is another constellation of many hundreds of thousands that only the gods know of. How they function, how they live, how they breathe... beyond is the world of the infinite, to which no being could ever reach or even comprehend."
Milwak gasped silently as I unconsciously expressed the mystery of stars and planets.
"You sure do know a lot, don't you, kid?"
"I wish I didn't; knowledge is a curse."
"But it can be a great tool to use in hand," Milwak laughed it off.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"Yet I use it to benefit my pleasure."
It has always been like this in both the past and the new world. I was always weak. I had the proper mind but never had the proper strength or confidence to do so. Instead, I chose to amuse myself, just like with Dragotin, how I strategically planned it all but never thought for a moment about how I would fight back, instead succumbing to death like an old friend.
Disregarding my mother's last words...
(I am really pathetic after all.)
No matter how much I deny it, I still can't shake off the guilt. It was basically a part of me, a wound of many that left another mark of my sins.
(And worse of all... I can't do anything about it...)
No, it's more proper to say it's all meaningless in the end because they all share the end.
"Strength comes from your mistakes. I can assure you of that."
"But never enough to shake the shame away, not even if a million years pass..."
"Regrets can be a tedious thing," Milwak broke the silence as he sighed heavily.
"It's more of guilt."
"Then why are you loathing yourself in despair?"
"It's not that... the opposite, in fact..." I paused as I finished my drink and placed it beside me. "It's just... it's hard to understand."
"I see..." Milwak chugged his drink to the end. "The way I see them, they are both the same."
"You know guilt and regret are two different things, right?"
"I'm not that dumb, kiddo," he chuckled as his face suddenly turned gloomy. "Trust me, I've had a good share of guilt and regrets weighing on these shoulders."
"I presume it's about that past?"
Suddenly, His aura began to shift to a somber blue foggy mist which was enough to hint he was wistful.
He answered with a nod, recalling none other than the Titans' rebellion.
"What exactly happened if you don't mind answering? You certainly don't look like the type to be prejudiced against your kin."
Milwak only motioned in silence as he placed his drink away while looking still in distress.
"Oh, so now you are, okay?" He said sarcastically.
"Like you said, a distraction. Any talk would help me organize my thoughts." I took a heavy sigh as I explained. "Besides, I am still confused about why you bury out of your time to train with me rather than helping your brothers."
"Huh.... well, you do make a good point."
"If that's alright with you if you don't want. i am more than okay to-"
"Nah, nah, kiddo... that's fine." He smiled as he looked at me. "It's nice to have a talk with you for once."
He said that playfully as he lightly pushed my arm.
"Besides, I think I can give you advice or two about this tale."
I remained silent nearly the whole conversation as he unraveled the truth about the events of the Wrath of Muradin.
----------------------------------------
"The Lesser Titans and the Nords were once one united triumphant tribe that lasted for at least more than thirteen centuries since we lost our home. At least, that’s how long we lasted. We didn’t start so cohesive at first."
He took a sorrowful sigh and continued to talk as I listened quietly.
"What's left of our people is nothing more than tribunal leaders of the Vanir, with most of the Aesir killed in Asgard. One by one by the Red Emperor and his minions. Anyways, we arrived shortly on the shores of the cold mountains from the northwest. Where the Lesser Titans nested and remained undetected from the threats this world has to offer then."
"They can't be the ones from the Iron Kingdom? It's way far from the east." I asked.
"Yes, apparently some Titans, though not in large numbers, escaped the Forbidden lands and resided in the cold mountains. They chose the location for its strategic advantage. But they also worked alongside their neighbors Infinity Order, which was, in a way, their home on the cold mountains. At first, they didn't greet us willingly, but thanks to one of the Infinity Slayers' Ambassadors named The Elusive All-Knowing, Kaeto, who offered a peace treaty. Eventually, both kin agreed to work together for mutual benefit against the ongoing threat of the Red Army."
"Must have been a difficult choice," I spoke back.
"How come?" Milwak asked, confused.
"The Vanir once sold themselves literally to the Aesir to stop the old war in the name of peace and equality," I chuckled with irony. "Only for them to be stabbed in the back and used as mere puppets. I doubt they would agree to another treaty, let alone repeat the same mistake again. But it was necessary; otherwise, you would be butchered by the Children of The Red Emperor."
For a moment, Milwak Aura procured steam of purple color that lasted less than a second.
"Huh," Milwak smiled. "Sometimes it scares me how much you know."
"Blame it on Hodor. He's the one with a big mouth for spilling such secrets."
"It's not as secret as it sounds," Milwak said with a crushed tone. "But it's nice there is someone who still believes in such tales."
"Perhaps that's why she said you are important," he muttered.
"I didn't hear that," I added.
"It's nothing, anyways," Milwak shrugged off and continued.
"And thanks to that one life-saving deal, we were spared from the chaos of genocide, thanks to the Lesser Titans and no one else but the Infinity Slayers."
"Did you have any proper relationship with that order?"
"Not really, because it didn't last long since the—"
"The Black Plague," I interjected as his speech was waning down.
"Yes."
The Bubonic Black Plague is one of the few events that seemed to recur from the old world. It's well known how much loss humanity suffered, tedious loss of both lives and economic states, further destabilizing the world order as it desperately tried to recover after the catastrophe it suffered from the Red War. Besides the fact, they were already resisting the Perfect Church cleansing.
While it was indeed exterminated, it cost millions if not millions of lives to carry on what's left of life.
Only the despair didn't end there.
"And due to the plague, we also suffered much, for we didn't have healers or priests. We only had shamans who, by Mjölnir's strength and Eir's blessing, tried their very best, only for them to meet the same end." Milwak spoke dolefully, aside from the fact he didn't live through that one lifetime. he felt their agony. "But thankfully, the Black Plague was gone, none other than the Infinity Slayers who, according to what I heard, reformed the Tree of Life to its original form and cleansed the whole world's vines and trees from the plague. Only, it cost everything the Infinity Slayers had to offer: their life and existence together."
"The Divinity of Confluence," I spoke coldly.
An event which marked the end of the Infinity Slayers and the emergence of the Demi-human race. Where humans became afflicted with animal features like raccoon and tanuki ancestry, the Foxian species, the Hound, the Centaurs, the Jaguar, and rarest of all, the Draconic ones. It is believed they all began to appear after this incident. A great tree loomed from the Infinity Bastion and attempted to mimic the many great trees this world resembled, only for it eventually to falter and blunder in a massive, earth-shattering combustion, destroying the very vines that once healed this world and, in return, cursed the humans and animals to become infused in contrary order in this world.
What followed after is only despair as the Perfect Church began to hunt down the demi-humans and burn them alive, women and children alike, just because they were deemed unlucky and heretical to be born like this, alongside the new-found threat against the new rise of horrifying creatures that threatened the wildlife and urban grounds.
For that, the Infinity Slayers were damned as traitors to this world, whether the Divinity of Confluence was part of their crimes or not mattered little. As it wasn't divine by nature but a curse that plagued humanity, leading to further corruption and loss, almost as devastating as the Red War.
"And before you ask, I don’t know much about this event," Milwak added. "I only learned that before this event, monsters began to appear suddenly and threatened us on a large scale. If it weren't for them to save us again..."
"And this is when the Lesser Titans offered their hands?" I asked.
"Yeah. In fact, there weren't many, but a few fifty Titans who aided us against this new-found threat. This is when Nels of a thousand voices, the once queen of the Vikings, advised to work together with the Titans as one of us, on behalf as a messenger from Odin himself."
"I've heard of her; some books describe her as a girl who suffered hearing multiple voices inside her head. The scholars of Inexmine Academy are confident she suffered from psychosis."
"Some books foretell that she indeed suffered from a disease. My people later believed it to be the voices of the many gods of Asgard. Odin, Thor, Baldur, and the rest of the family members. Guiding her through thick and thin and every decision. Some believed so as well."
"There are rumors as well suggesting she was cursed."
"Yes, this was proven by the fact of how old she lived, over four centuries without shedding part of her skin, her progressive skillful development in fighting, her persistent reasoning to fight, and how much of a beast she was, like a bloodthirsty animal."
"Not many say this, but some believed she was an actual Infinity Slayer herself."
"Yeah..." Milwak sighed as he fixed his posture. "Anyways, Nels foretold that the Gods, as the Titans, were our own brethren in flesh and blood, and we shouldn't stray them away like we did in the old ages. Regardless of whether it's true or not, the proposal was given a lot of consideration by the Vanir until eventually, they all agreed to accept Titans as a merely mutually beneficial partnership. Nothing more or less, since around that time. The Vikings also suffered such losses due to the black plagues, losing forge masters, warriors, and shallow of resources. A role that the Lesser Titans' role filled perfectly for such a hard-working species."
Milwak brought forth a wry smile as he said, "In the end, after countless battles against the new creatures and learning their biology, the Titans and the Nords all graciously welcomed each other like their own brothers and sisters in arms. Like one united nation that sprouted all kinds of tales and legends that you may find in the library and such."
Milwak finished his last sentence, and his smile quickly faded away, dreadfully.
"That didn't last long, didn't it?" I asked.
"Ay," he shook his head in regret. "The dark times."
Milwak stood and started walking a little ahead as he continued to talk and stared back at the frozen landscapes.
"This is when the Perfect Order came to light and announced themselves as the only true order that cultivated all beings above all else. As the true children of God and conveyors of their so-called great miracle... what a load of nonsensical religious beliefs! What they did is nothing more than spreading the word of God, rather than spreading their ethnic cleansing as a means of justification for their actions. And no doubt we and the Dwarfs were many on their list as Heretics. Thus, another war broke out..."
"How did Nels die?" I asked curiously as the input about her death was lost eons ago. "I heard tales she was killed by the Perfect church."
"In the most horrific way possible. " Milwak sighed and said grievously, "The details about what happened may be misread, but her death was real. During the second battle on Snowberg Hills, which served as the main entrance to the mountains, the Inquisition attacked our first line of defense. At first, we thought we had them in our hands given we had the mountains to cover behind, protecting us from their boulder attacks and striking the enemies using arrows and bolts from above. Only, we failed to notice that their first legions were nothing more than a distraction to waste arrows. It turned out later these poor soldiers who died wastefully were slaves who offered what was left of their freedom to protect their families and children who were underkept in chains. In short, they were blackmailed and short nothing but tools to both the Ecclesiarch and the Inquisition."
From my view, the Perfect Order was no different from the old ones in my world, beings that immobilized the lesser ones as nothing but ants, toying with them like puppet dolls. Beings that cared not for any but only for themselves to thrive higher according to their so-called doctrine. Beings that only sought chaos, oblivious to the ghastly truth of their world.
"Due to this blunder, we fell in; the location of the archers was found, and I kid you not, Makas, but this is what I read," Milwak spoke with a terrifying tone as his aura emitted yet again the same purple fog. only, it's thicker to the point his face began to covit away. "Holy knights wrapped in gold and silver armor with white majestic four feather wings, incorporated human eyes between them while holding a bright golden lance that pierced away the archers and all alike into ashes of embers, leaving us defeated for the first time in a hundred years of constant victory against the church. At that time, Chieftain Randolf, from my ancestral bloodline, and a few of his men survived the massacre, including Nels who made the ultimate sacrifice. She advised Randolf to retreat and warn the second line of defense in the summits of High Shadow to prepare for heavy anti-artillery defense against the Perfect Order, while she takes the Perfect Order's attention and fights them till the end. After all, they were specifically targeting her."
"One fire cannot extinguish another fire, but the more flames you have in hand, only then the brighter flames rise over the other," Milwak quoted in an apathetic tone. "The information remains anonymous till this day but legends said. Inside the bastion as Nels was waiting for the angelic paladins, she manifests an army of shadowy demonic creatures of unknown origins that fought back the Inquisition till her last breath with her dark magic and her mother’s sword. This event would later be known as Nels' sacrifice, a tragedy yet an honorable legendary tale later foretold to the children.
"Those Shadows you speak of. Is this where the rumored title of the Infinity Slayers came from?"
"Yes... a mystery that shall never be solved," Milwak said dismally.
"May her soul rest in Valhalla."
Milwak nodded and smiled back, showing appreciation.
I only prayed for her soul to comfort Sigrid's grief. But in reality, her spirit could be anywhere as we speak, around us, near us, or away from us. A mystery even more confounding than her powers.
"At any rate, we eventually managed to fight back against the Perfect Order after we replanned our strategies for a while longer. Yet our people remained shut in fear against... well, everything, the elves, the Perfect Order, and the demons. But we never surrendered, as we all held onto a promise to Nels to fight back against the evil that blighted our home. Only..."
"Why the elves?" I asked.
"We were never associated with elves, but I believe it has something to do with the Infinity Slayers, I assumed, and from what I learned, some kind of betrayal... my best guess has to do with the reformat of the great tree. For you see, when the tree was reformed, it wasn't just the whole tree that changed. Every tree was changed."
"Like, reborn?" I asked.
"Exactly! While I don't know the exact state of the Forbidden Lands, the whole trees in lands beyond were burned away and died, sacrificing their life essence for the good of the world. In return, the night elves lost their source of immortality temporarily and the root of their natural powers, nature. If I were in their shoes, I would be mad as well."
"I see... This is new," I muttered in reflection. "Sorry, you were saying the Titans weren't the same..."
"Ay... They weren't scared, that's for one! While we cowered in fear of suffering yet a dreadful end, the same way we did against the Red War and the Plague. Fear of being cornered with some unknown godly or celestial force the church hand in hand and no idea how to deal with. So, in these stressful times, we simply stood on the mountains, fearful but defiant."
"You wanted to escape," I added.
"Ay, everyone wanted to leave these crooked lands and return home. But the Titans... no, they had other plans."
"What plans?" I asked with a troubled face.
Sigrid sighed dejectedly as he was sullen by the outcome tragedy of this dark tale.
"Makas... let me ask you something. If you were put in a similar situation, would you surrender or fight back?" Milwak looked at me eccentrically.
"Honestly?... I don't know which is which because both will lead to uncertain ends." I looked up at the sky as I said confidently. "I am not much of a man honed to his origin and honor like you Nords do; therefore, I can reason that if I surrender myself to the Ecclesiarch, I might guarantee the survival of my people. But at the same time, suffered a prejudiced environment that I would later regret. On the other hand, if I decided to fight back against a reigning country, even if I had a helping hand, there is no guarantee of victory. Whether I will win the war against, as you said, angelic but demonic beings that are a hundred times a thousand-man army. Either way, the game is rigged."
"Let's ignore the bureaucratic idea and focus on one's desire, your desire... which one does your heart tell you is the best?"
I stuttered for a moment, taking my time to answer such a moral question.
Is it better to sell yourself or fight back in a fruitless world where every choice is a meaningless one? Since the end is the same?
"I guess... I'd fight back... so long as there is a benefit..."
"What if there isn't a benefit?"
I paused anxiously, as Sigurd indirectly recalled the same question I had asked myself over a hundred times throughout this lifetime.
"... Reason..."
"Heh... Exactly," Sigrid tapped me on the back in comfort. "That's why the Titans wanted to stand back and fight. Which confused us all after countless tragic tragedies. They weren't ready for another, especially when their culture is on the line. And here they are, fighting for another day. Which might sound foolish but heroic in the picture. But they were planning for something else. Something more horrific."
----------------------------------------
After a short break, we refilled ourselves with hot drinks as Milwak continued to talk.
“Not long ago, around thirty years ago. It all started with the Nordic councilors agreeing to hear out the Titans' proposition regarding the war against the Perfect Order. For the sake of understanding, I am going to narrow down to a few extra figures: my brother, Ivar, and my distant sister, Frigg, from my father. And the two Titans; Dhordrar Redflayer and Giantbeard Fodrarlun. Dhordrar, on the day of the council, presented the idea of making a new defense construction site that would grant us more opening strikes against the church. At the cost of our wood supply, mainly which the Nords were safeguarding for the day of escape through the seas. The Titans' plan details were never explicitly shared, raising suspicion among our ranks. But regardless, we moved along because we had our own conviction on the Titans' plans. However, the Nords' chieftain didn’t agree with this plan and advised planning an escape to the Forbidden Lands. Which, in all honesty, was a suicidal plan. The road to the Forbidden is known for how dangerous it is, and yet they chose to take it. Eventually, the meeting was insignificant and postponed for another day.”
“Would you rather die by the Perfect Church, to be exact, tortured to death, or die in the wilderness?” I spoke with a satirical tone.
“Both are worse than the other,” Milwak said dejectedly.
As we walked, we finally reached one of the dorm shacks' upper roof balconies as we stared at the freezing night skies. There, Milwak would tell the horrifying truth of their downfall.
“During the same day, late at midnight, Ivar and I did some investigation and learned of the secret plans the Titans were enveloping in the dark. A secret system of tunnels and wooden drafts beneath the chilling mountains. A whole network they have been working on for the last ten years.”
“Basically, they had already developed their plans without you knowing... isn't that ridiculous?” I spoke with an absurd tone. “How could you not notice the wood was all gone?”
“That's the gist. We had a spy among us...”
Milwak's face turned pale and discouraged again, only this time it was far more aching, like a bad memory just resurfaced after shelving it away for so long, evident by his aura showing a greyish color.
“While the last meeting was indeed insignificant, the Titans managed to convince some numbers of the Nordic leaders to fight rather than escape. Those were the same people who secretly helped the Titans build the underground network.”
“Leading to a wood insufficiency,” I muttered. “Hard to believe, but alright.”
“Don't be a smartass. I am sparing a lot of side details that made this whole dilemma difficult to interpret,” Milwak spoke back with irritancy. “Anyways, on the next day, a trial was held where I and my brother, in addition to a few Nordic commanders, judged the fate of the traitor Titans. While I tried to seek the truth behind their motive, Ivar sought not. He used this opportunity to further worsen the dilemma. During the meeting, Ivar even blabbered lies about the Titans planning some kind of plan to leave us dead. The Titans, of course, had no support except a few to mention, like Frigg. But this is where The Titan Argul, the Black Hammer, rumored to be the best blacksmith in the whole Land’s Beyond and survivor of the Red War, emerged from the shadows and offered an alternative. Instead of killing them, we treat them as prisoners and use them for labor, in return assuring them to live alongside us in the same mountains and a separate one like it always has. At first, the Titans, without a doubt, rejected this agreement, but they were in no position to make such a choice after the betrayal. Ivar and the other council members doubted their trust in Argul. It was only my sister, Frigg, who didn’t change our behavior towards the Titans and continued to treat them as equals... something I should have been...”
“How come you all agreed to this Argul's plans? The way you spoke his name sounds like a first to you?”
“Because he was. He never was part of the Titans who lived alongside us. He was simply a wanderer. Yet, he managed to convince us to go along with this plan because he feared a worse threat was about to come. If I was in the right mind, I would have seen through his... and perhaps, avoided the terrible fate.”
Milwak looked down at his people from the balcony, who were still rebelling against the Republican soldiers who were holding them off.
“Everything I did was a self-centered goal,” Milwak said in rage as he clutched the wooden handrail of the balcony. “Instead of seeing through the Titans' plans and listening to him, I only let my hatred take better of me. By manipulating the Titans' weakened state to our advantage, an act I would later come to regret so much.”
“I see...” I cut in.
“What?”
“Frigg is the spy who secretly helped them...”
“Ay...” Milwak said with sorrow. “But I will come back to that later...”
“The Wrath of Muradin?”
“Yeah... before the future battles commence. Ivar, my brother, and his soldiers were treating the Titans with bigotry, further igniting that flame of hatred even more. This reached the point where the whole Nordic tribe was prejudiced against the Titans, with a few exceptions who remained neutral towards them. When the second battle began, we were occupied by a small Malecia of the Perfect Order sent as a distraction. During then, the Titans were holding secret meetings to develop a strategy to escape with some inside help from my people. After we finished the third battle, using the tunnels as a means to win over the Church, one of our forgeries was completely ruined, detonated using alchemical materials and coal as they shackled our home one by one in fire, taking the advantage to escape behind Cold Mountains.”
I looked and listened attentively as Milwak's sorrow deepened while telling the tale.
“How they escaped due to three reasons. One: as blacksmiths and forge masters, we gave the authority to use the mines and the forge grounds to smith weapons for us, that’s why they had an advantage in structural and equipment positioning. This one was our fault. The second: they had already formed a tunnel system in the mountains secretly that led to the other side of the mountains. A mountain pass served as the main path towards the abandoned Infinity Slayer Bastion, a mischievous trick indeed. And finally, an inside help protected them from being suspected. This was none other than my sister, Frigg.”
“...” I groaned in confusion.
“Yes... she admitted and confessed after we cornered her days later. She said that we were about to face another threat, far worse than the church which by then had fallen and became Assayr Church. She tried to warn us many times of the upcoming threat that did not just threaten us but the whole world. The Titans, the reason for their escape as a result of our prejudiced movements but more the new-found threat. And believed after everything we went through, the chances of survival are near impossible if we were to fight this alone. And therefore, the Titans escaped and joined Assayer. She begged for us to join them and give ourselves to King Robert while the chances are still available.”
I stuttered in shock as I spoke;
“The Hollowed Ones...”
“Yes... that was the Viking's biggest shame and guilt...” Milwak said bitterly as he tried to calm down. I remained silent so as not to incite him more. “If I had paid enough attention, I would have learned the truth and evaded this fateful tragedy. I would have saved my people from this terrible end. But in the end, it was in vain... they invaded us and attacked from all sides, coming straight from their cold, decaying Kingdom, the oceans, and the same tunnels where we first saw them. It was only later I learned that these tunnels served more than resistance to the Perfect Church.”
“In the end, this was our punishment. As the Hollowed Ones laid waste, disease, and carnage upon our cold mountains when we just started to rebuild ourselves. Our culture was dying away. The same way the Titans suffered back then...”
We remained silent as the now breeze started to thicken, obscuring the view from the distance. Only for lights inside the Bastion to be seen amidst this stormy snow.
“What happened to Frigg?” I asked.
“She was executed by Ivar, beheaded and her corpse burned away... the scene left me hollow...”
“Then why?!” I asked bitterly.
“Why what?”
“Why the Titans and Frigg chose to hide this information from you all? Why didn’t they warn you?”
“Heh...” Milwak chuckled as he drank the last of his wine. “I asked myself that question and was never answered back. But, let me ask you this; if your people are already a dying race with little to almost no hope remaining for your life, if you were to tell another threat was on the way to wipe you out for good, do you think you have the heart to tell your people the truth? To tell them our home was engulfed in black ooze? To tell them our only option is to surrender and beg for another force to assist us, suffering yet another humiliation after many, and not to remind you, we had almost no idea what the threat was even to begin with. Only rumors and whispers that plagued the minds of the witnesses, like Argul...”
“...”
“Would you tell them to live in ignorance or die helplessly with the truth in mind....”
At those words, my heart ran cold and dreadful. The same question I have been pondering all this time came again, now faced in a different perspective but eventually, the ending is the same.
The Nords met the same end I met. This was the icebreaker. The truth I have been seeking all along...
“Exactly, you can't imagine how bad it was back then,” Milwak turned his back as he stretched on the handrail. “Eventually, we, the remaining surviving Vikings, used the same Titans' tunnel now opened to escape from the grasp of the Hollowed Ones at the last minute, finally reaching the grounds of the Land’s Beyond after countless centuries spent in that cold mountain. With literally no goal in mind or home to return to, we were bound to die at some point, the same way how we started eons ago.”
Milwak sat down and said melancholically;
“I was pretty suicidal at that time. My faith in Odin didn’t help. My strength barely made a difference. My intelligence and wisdom were proven otherwise decrepit. I was... hollow in a way...”
A moment of silence befell us as Milwak reminisced about those dark times while I took a moment to recollect all the history thus far and ask myself;
(Is there really a good ending to such tales?)
I said to myself, "If I were in his position, I would advise Frigg to tell the truth and, within my capability, provide the Nords with some chance to fight back or run while the window is open, even if it isn't the best option to consider. It's a fifty-fifty game with the results slowly depending on how you handle these events, much better than a choice with a guaranteed loss at the end, no matter how far you can hide the truth."
(But when the truth hurts most when the truth reveals itself.)
The Hollowed ones, these primordial mystical creatures of the void, beings of grotesque form and inscrutable purpose, slumber beneath the oppressive weight of the world and the cosmos, stirring only in the bleakest recesses of human consciousness. Is only one force of many elder gods' great powers.
Incomprehensible geometry warps around their blasphemous forms, shattering the very laws of reality. Their eyes, if eyes they can be called, burn with a malevolence beyond human understanding, gazing down upon a universe that exists solely for their perverse amusement. These ancient terrors stand in stark contrast to humanity's feeble aspirations, casting a grim shadow over our ambitions and knowledge... The very revelation of their existence heralds our descent into the abyss, for we are insignificant, playthings in the hands of these monstrous entities."
Suddenly, Milwak sniffed energetically, fixed his posture deceptively, and said,
"But I knew this was my Redemption. My chance to fix all of the mistakes I made thus far. Instead of burying myself with guilt, regret, or vengeance, instead of just sitting and waning over my failures, I took those failures as my fuels and decided to take the leadership. To lead one more time and make an actual change for once after countless failures I have made thus far. And promised to all the gods and my fallen ancestors not to fail again."
Milwak sighed and said with pride,
"By that time, we were nothing more than bandits led by my brother, Ivar, and a few other chieftains. I demonstrated my force and challenged them all to take the leadership of the tribe. Eventually, I succeeded in overthrowing my psychotic brother and led the Vikings into a new day. I gave quite the speech that time as well. Haha! But they ultimately rallied at my side into a brighter tomorrow."
Sigurd's sorrow was gone now, all replaced by this optimistic, insightful man I came to know over the last years.
"And you know how things went from here. The helpless mothers and children all live safely in the city while we worked our asses off here and there... and... that's kind of it. Hehe! Quite the tale, right?"
"It's... certainly had its moments... but overall, indeed quite the tale with a moral lesson."
"So, are you going to tell the world about the truth?"
"Huh?" I was stunned by his unrelated question. "No... I have no intention to share such a tale with the world. I only asked out of curiosity."
"Sure, you did, Hahahaah!" Milwak smiled with resolve.
"Besides... I have nowhere else to go but to stay here."
"That's not true."
I looked back at Sigurd in confusion, only to see him smile.
"Do you know why I chuckled... back then when instead of teaching you a lesson, I went full sullen?"
"Yeah?" I looked back with a confused reaction.
"Because I had enough of the Republic crap," Milwak said angrily. "It's time for Nords to fight back. And what you did there may have served your amusements but also refueled our fury again. We will no longer be looked down upon and beg others for mercy. Not by the Republic, and certainly not the Hollowed ones! And if I am going to die, then I must make sure the future can carry on. For the future children, to heed our warnings lest they make the same mistake."
I looked back with a stunned face at Milwak's furious spirit as he spoke haughtily.
"You are mad!" I said heinously.
"Hmmm?"
"You would wage this war alone?"
"Not alone... Be it Elves, the Nords, the Titans, the demi-humans, the Republic, the White Legion. It doesn’t matter who, because we have a common threat ahead of us. And if we don’t fight them back! We shall suffer a thousand times! I know for a fact, if we survived the Red war by mere luck then we can do it again with the Hollowed ones! Only together we can stop this!"
(How... how can you have such spirit after everything you went through...)
"Makas, what's the moral lesson of my story?"
Troubled by his irrelevant question, I stuttered in perplexity as I answered hesitantly.
"I... I don’t know...."
He placed his two hands on my shoulder and held me closer. "It's to find your reason for living in this world."
He took off his hands and continued to talk.
"For all this time, I thought I was acting like a true Chieftain. But the truth revealed how much of a naïve brat I was and realized how many mistakes I made that weighed me down greatly to the point I felt hopeless completely. But instead of just standing up and fighting back like anyone would say, I acknowledged those dark memories that surmised guilt, regret, nightmares, failures, everything! And used them as a weapon of destiny, as an excuse to fill myself with a new goal to pursue. A new reason to follow after. All these experiences I learned did not go to waste. They happened for a reason, and I aim to seek after that reason. And continue on this cycle until I achieve my goal or when death knocks on the door. Either way, I found my reason."
I remained silent throughout the conversation as I was entangled with a series of new questions. Sigurd took my sword and held it out.
"You forge your blade, Makas! You forge your destiny! You forge your existence in this world. With all the hells and nightmares and loss you went through. You use those dark thoughts as a material to craft your blade. Your reason."
"My... reason..." I muttered dismally.
"That's why next week. I am going to start a rebellion and fight my way out of here. And you, venture to the east and find your destiny!"
"I am not ready!" I said fearfully. "You saw me today! I went almost crazy! I almost killed you—"
Milwak handed me back the sword as he stood up.
"But today, you marked your first development into the wonders of life. Your determination was alone evident to fight back death."
That's right... until now... all I ever wanted was to simply have a peaceful death. Away from all the horror that had unraveled around all this time. Instead of interpreting them, I ran away. Or it's more fitting to say I accepted them but didn’t know what to do next.
Like I will ever know? And the answer is obvious... clear as the sky. But still, why do I continue to dwell on a death wish yet survived almost every encounter.
I am... too scared to know what lies beyond... too scared to see further horror down the well of the unknown. I am already scared...
"Anyways! Just noticed the time and damn! We talked a lot today." Milwak stretched his arms and legs as he spoke. "Which I completely forgot to congratulate you."
"Huh?! What for?"
"Finding your battle strategy. You attacked my left knee, destabilizing me momentarily. That alone is advantageous in the battlefield to knock out your opponent. Therefore, I advise you to study anatomy well. While also continuing your basic training since we don't always meet up like this."
"Also, take this." Milwak handed me a piece of paper. "Read it..."
I opened the paper and read the content.
"This is—"
"Not a word..." Milwak hushed. "I managed to steal it while I was on my way to get Galvan out of the prison."
"What do you want me to do with it?!"
"You can decide that when you reach the Republican lands. Hell, you might just make Tyroth your bitch with it."
"What?!"
"Once you are there... seek old man Tudor... and the rest will follow..."
Use my memories as a weapon... MY MEMORIES? The memories that can drive any human, elf, dwarf to madness? The same weapons that, no matter how professionally you use them to craft or gain knowledge, will result in the same end?
If it weren't for my memories of the past world, the fact of how the world came to an end by the hands of the frenzied old ones... then I might just recover back...
But in my case... I can't... I just can't... or perhaps I am simply too cowardly to make a move... or wise enough to know nothing can be done to such an unavoidable fate.
(Then... why am I still here?)
I looked back at my sword as I held it. The very sword that I claimed to reject yet... continued to hold it... just like my life...
(Do I really want to live?...)