After the battle, I took a small break to recover from the wounds I sustained earlier. By bandaging them and disinfecting them using alcohol. Especially the abdominal ones, the werewolf managed to thrust deep as far as he can.
The injury was painful indeed, but that didn’t stop me from recovering back normally. In fact, the healing process was much faster than I assumed.
In less than a few minutes, the bleeding stopped and started to contract as a scar already. In addition, using the last of my healing vials, my unnatural body for some reason fastens the regeneration. Later, I was back on my feet without trouble. Perhaps this is one of the many gifts I received recently. Some dark magic I can't possibly understand.
Still, the pain did ache for a bit, but I can manage such wounds if I stay out of combat for some days.
If I had to summarize this fight in a nutshell. I was lucky as hell. The surrounding environment provided me with more support than I already assumed. Such a case isn't always available in every fight.
I was already downside with my blades and speed-wise since I caught up with his attack a few times and knocked down many.
I could simply use the unquenchable desire ability like I did in that fight. However, such skill has many side effects. Mainly, frenzy.
Whenever I activate the rage, I start to lose control over myself and start acting like a legit demon. Killing everything in sight without regard to who is before me, whether its friend or enemy. Not that I know that. I just feel as if all sense of myself and suddenly releasing to my bestial instinct.
I had foreseen this. Earlier months ago, when I had to fight a horde of Hollowed ones alone in the dark when an army of savages, slashers, hunters, and all like of forms these creatures possessed. When I was almost killed by them, I suddenly snapped and I killed them, ripped them, and molded them to absolute nothingness but fragments of blood and remaining organs.
I was horrified back then.... and still am. Therefore, I'd rather avoid using this ability only when it's necessary. But the more i use it, the more i forget my memories. Including this world, and the past ones. Faces I once remembered, started to fade away. The names I once knew too well, were lost to the void where they emerged first.
It's a heavy price to pay for power...
At the cost of my survival, I suffered from a shortage of tools and equipment. Such as ammunition, potions, crafting materials, tools, and what's like. Also, suffering armor damage in return (breaking my helmet down, resulting in losing it) and tearing the cloth I wore at different ends. With only recovering my dagger and sword. The bastard sword I wielded earlier seemed broken off when I finished the werewolf.
For all those reasons, I decided to go scouting and pillaging whatever I could find in the village to compensate for what I lost.
Thankfully, the village was empty and clear of threats. Only for their mutilated corpses and remains dispersed around the square and streets. I assumed much the werewolf must have been involved in killing them as evidenced by his earlier overindulgence.
Still, that doesn’t explain why he was feasting on one of his own. Perhaps fighting the infection as much as he can. Even if it's an effortless attempt? Yet another unanswered question.
As I was walking down the lifeless village and looking around. I stumbled upon one house, based on the large hills that separated the town and the lands of the fire warlords.
What caught my attention most was the corpse that lay on a motionless revolving chair.
From what I can see. It appeared to be the corpse of an old woman, in her eighties. Wearing a dirty grey villager hooded robe. She apparently suffered a wound around her abdomen. Given the shape of the injury. She must have sustained it not a few hours ago. This further perplexed me since everyone in the village's corpses are either hollowed or have been dead long gone as evident signs of decay.
I feared the worst that she could be a Hollowed one in disguise, something i have been theorizing until now.
What's more shocking is that the crystal is not responding ahead. Something is off.
(Could she be really....no way....)
Therefore, I decided to investigate the matter, approaching slowly considering how sketchy this corpse is.
As I got closer, I could see more clearly her face now. Her skin looked a little furrowed, her grey messy hair and her color anything but pale.
However, my eyes suddenly shifted to her right hand as she held on to an object, barely. It was a necklace, but one I am familiar with.
A round rusted medallion, imprinted with the Infinity Signs. The same one i saw a few months ago with the Black Knight.
I extended my hands towards her wrist as if I grew lustful for some kind of ancient treasure.
However, as soon I neared my hand. The old woman's hand grappled mine and pulled me towards her with extreme strength.
At the same moment, she pulled out a dagger on her other hand and proceeded to strike me with it.
Anticipating the threat. I immediately blocked her attack with my left hand striking hard against her fragile midarm. Then, rotating around it and held it in an upside position, redirecting her hand in return the dagger in a different position.
Then suddenly, we paused. Like two aesthetic statues, not a complete movement or sound neither breath can be heard.
She finally raised her head slowly. Revealing her fiendish pale eyes while smirking off her sadistically as she stared at me. As she said uncaringly;
“A corpse.... should be left well alone...”
“A corpse shouldn’t be speaking,” I answered.
“Neither should be disturbed.”
Suddenly, the crystal flickers of an alarming presence.
Sensing a nearby presence from behind. I looked back while holding her down only to find a raging wolf rushing towards me.
He looked white as snow with what looked like tribunal black marks imprinted over his body.
As i was about to defend myself, the old lady shouted.
“Ōkami! Suwaru, suwaru!”
The Wolf suddenly stopped, lowering his head in obedience.
(Did she... Dide she speak Kanji just now?!)
I remained in silence as she came closer to her and started laughing lightly. Then proceeded to free my hand and drop the dagger away, as if she had no intention of fighting.
I retraced the small gravel stairs away from the front house. Confused by this old woman's durability in such chaotic scenery. And mainly, the wolf named Okami.
“You know Kanji?” She chuckled.
“How did you?!”
“You are too predictable boy.... I have seen people hide their emotions better than you and i both combined...”
She saw through me, even with my emotionless reaction covering the doubts. Her speech seemed completely normal. In fact, she wasn’t bothered by her wound at all. I ignored her snarky attitude and focused on something else.
“That aside.... that's good news for me...” She coughed.
I didn't answer and simply stood silent. Confused by this old woman's behavior. Mischievous and yet indecipherable. Makes me think she was trained like this her whole life to become a cunning creature. But that doesn't explain her inhumane gifts.
“Puzzled how i am still alive?” She chuckled.”
“Honestly... i don't know why i am. At this point, everything in this world makes little sense....” I complained.
She gave out a boaster laughter. Followed by her coughing thickly.
“Good one kid... couldn't agree more.”
“Your wound needs to be sutured, otherwise it would be infected. And you should stop laughing...”
“Heh!” she grinned. “You didn’t think I thought of that before genius? Didn’t come across your nimble mind that I maybe wanted this?”
Her character is quite deranged while cackling softly to herself. Reading through her mind wouldn’t be an easy task. So, I figured to play along her game.
“Death wish?” I asked.
“Something like that....” she answered calmly as she looked and started to steer her wooden wheelchair lightly. Joined by the wolf Okami, who sat beside she rubbed her hands on his head.
“I presumed you killed that hollowed Werewolf, right?”
No surprise there. She must have heard all the collisions that occurred in the square.
“I did. And I am guessing the werewolf is a recent visitor. Much like I am.”
“Yeah......” she nodded. “You people sure love budding in places you aren't welcomed.”
“Sorry to disturb your tomb old one.”
She laughed off lightly while I remained quiet.
“Speaking of,” I asked with trouble. “How the hell did you manage to survive on your own? There must have been in a crew at some point.”
“Crew or not. It matters little against the Hollowed one. Don't you agree?”
“.....” I remained silent. Finding her sentence more rational than ever.
She smiled maliciously as she looked back at me and said sinisterly;
“Besides I am a lot tougher than I look... boy.”
She isn't wrong. The moment I blocked her arm earlier ago and as well when she grappled me. She had some quiet resistance and strength to overcome. Like she was trained to fight. Not to mention she wasn’t agonizing from the wound as well....
She reminded me of myself for a moment....
Without asking further. I shook my head in acceptance and proceeded to ask her irrelevant questions.
“When was the village attacked?”
“Here comes the Integration,” she said annoyingly as she mumbled to herself. “Well.... it wouldn’t be a bad idea to spend my last moments with you, Heh!”
She took a breath and explained the village's misfortunate end;
“I guess around a month back the village was attacked. This was around the time the hollowed were still lingering the invasion. Some residents planned on evacuating the suburb. However, the chief village was a patriotic twat who called it off and ordered the towns folks to defend the village and built-up defense. Giving high and mighty speeches about our home and whatever.... of course. You already saw the result. A fruitless effort since the hollowed ones are ruthless and their strength cannot be comprehended to the villagers who are just sticks and bullets to them. So, that’s kind of the gist of it. On the day of the attack, the helpless ones tried to escape the village. Only the jackass chieftain tried to stop them. This where I come in and killed the bastard with ease. Then I gave myself a means of distraction while the survivors made run of it. And well... here I am... still alive.”
“You sure sound disappointed...” I joked.
“Living old for many years and not granting your wish isn't something to be in contended with,” she said bitterly.
“And like that, you survived the remaining month on your own. Hoping for someone to kill you one day?”
She nodded as she explained;
“Came across a hollowed Demonic knight. You know? The ones that fought during the red war. Managed to kill it but got this bad boy.” She said as she pointed to her injury. “Heh... wasn’t enough for three to take down an old woman....”
I have to admit to that information I was intrigued. She is either an expert in adventure or something worse to be able to fight such creatures on her own and in old age.
(What if she is.... like me?)
“Why not just let them kill you instead of fighting back? Unless you are asking for a heroic death.” I asked.
“Heroic?!” She was stunned then let out a hefty laughter as if I told a joke. “That goes against my nature kid....”
“I just met you a few minutes ago and you talking as if you are expecting me to know everything about you now?”
Instead of answering back, she looked at me thoroughly. As if she was inspecting me for something. I felt uneasy then.
“Enough about me.” She recollected back and asked. “I didn’t exactly see the fight, but I assumed you managed to kill the wolf on your own. Yes?”
“I just yes earlier ago.”
“That's a high-rank beast you killed down there.... well, done.” she praised me with a smile. “And a Hollowed one no less.”
“You used to be an adventurer?” I asked
“In my youth yes.... but never was interested in hunting beasts and monsters like you are.”
(How did she...... no... there is no way.)
“What do you mean by th-”
“And sustained such wounds but not enough to kill you as well? I mean that sprain on your right side and the bite on your shoulder should disable someone from moving at least months without healing magic.”
I started to feel a little irritated. Such signs don’t take a genius to figure out. What troubled me more was how she suddenly grew interested in me and read me like a book. And the sense of similarity I felt.
“It's hard to explain. But I am not like other humans” I answered in hoping to distract her.
“I think you meant. I am not a human to begin with, right?” she smiled sadistically.
At this point, I wanted to leave her. Her presence made me feel anxious and stressed. Knowing well this woman was dangerous.
“I think I am done here. I will be taking my leave.” I said as I turned around away from her.
“Don't you know want to know why I hold this medallion?” She dangled as she asked cheekily. “You can run boy, but you can't hide the truth of who you are....”
“You don’t know a dame thing about me old one,” I answered back apathetically.
“I certainly don’t. But I know for a fact that you and I are much the same.”
“Excuse me?” I turned back in bewilderment. But still emotionless. “The hell are you saying?”
“Let me see...... troubled lonely child.... runway home.... dead-pan face.... strong enough to fight off high-ranking beasts and survive as well.... desperate to seek vengeance.” She chuckled. “Fits the criteria well.”
At that point, I had my limit. I placed my hand on my sword in intimidation.
The wolf groaned in anger as he stood up.
“As I said,” I said ruthlessly as politely as I could. “I will be taking my leave or else I am going to make that wound of yours stink more.”
She once again let out laughter that echoed the surrounding village.
“So scary owhhh!” She mocked. “You ought to cover your face kid if you don’t want people to find out who you are.”
I'd always put on a mask when I dealt with social gatherings. Becoming someone whom I am never acquainted with. Out of necessity rather than a desire to be.... it never worked. At certain ends, I would be spotted like a caught-up thief. Clear and weary. That’s why I sometimes show my true face. Not ashamed of showing who really is me under the mask.
Except my old classmates... and mom...
“Wanna hear a tale? Its- OI LAD COME BACK.” the old lady shouted.
“I am done hearing your irrelevant rambling. I got what I need.” I said as I proceeded to leave the house.
“But this one irrelevant tale will answer your question that you thought all until now,” she said cheekily, but desperate to bring me back.
I look back in unrest at her statement, but not surprised anymore. She knew what I had in mind.
“That bargain of the devil you made... you aren't the only one in this world who made it....”
The deal I made two months back sparked a lot of unanswered and unexplained questions in my mind. And whether to be grateful or oppressed. Would I want to place my bit on this old lady disjointed words?
What are the odds she is exactly as I am..... not fart to say at least.
After a moment of consideration, I finally answered back;
“................................... Make it quick.............”
She gave a sign of relief as she lay back, swinging back and forth.
“I assure you; you aren't going to like it, but it will be worth it.
“Just get on with your sad bedtime story,” I said indignantly.
She let out a small laugh and pulled what looked like a pipe smoke, then talked in a motherly tone;
“Once upon a time......”
----------------------------------------
“There was this little girl who was an extremely happy child. She lived with her parents who were very loving to her. And settled in a calming small village on a nearby cliff that laid out the sea. With a charming house and a sweet neighborhood. She had the perfect life with a wonderful loving family and friends on her side. But such as the way of life, everything changed when the cruel bandits attacked their village pillaged their home, and massacred the innocents. With some exceptions survived who were sold to slavery. The girl and her parents were among the many held captives. For the coming days, the pure once virtuous family now only sought darkness ever so murky, tormented with many misfortunes that drove them to near insanity. With the father treated with the pear of anguish and Knee Splitter. He watched the mother being toyed by the wicked to the point, she no longer tried to resist. Meanwhile, the daughter watched in horror at the persecution. Hearing her parents screaming for tears and shouts of anger, sorrow and madness. The little girl, once innocent and cheerful and optimistic, lost her smile that day. Lost her innocence and her mind succumbing to the same rage that her parents cried out. With one thought levitating her mind. Vengeance against the dark side of humanity, who she considered the real demons of this world. On the same night when her parents died helplessly. The bandit's base was attacked by a mysterious man who fought the bandits so effortlessly, killing them one by one as they feebly failed to take the adventurer down. The girl sized this distraction as a chance to escape, but rather than running away. Instead, she took a dagger and jabbed the occupied bandits till their last breath. Little did she know that moment when her parents seized to demise. She made a deal with the devil, that would give her immense strength, power, intelligence, immortality. As long as she gave herself everything to chase that twisted desire of hers, at the cost of her innocent humanity. And so, she just did and went on a killing frenzy against the bandits. Until the camp was slaughtered completely as lifeless mutilated bodies covered in a pool of blood of her fallen enemies. Only her, and the mysterious adventurer left. The girl that moment, shed a vicious smile as she felt for the second smile, the joy that she missed so much over the last months she spent in torture. The adventure, instead killing her or leaving her, approached her. Wearing a long black feather hooded cap and a white plague doctor mask. Wielding a poisonous dagger on one hand and another, a sliver saber. While under the effect of a green radiating aura that shaded his presence. He offered his hand and said; “Join me young one. Since you are one of us now, allow me to teach you the way of our order. The way of the infinity slayers. “The speaker was none other than the famous infinity slayer, the plague doctor Cornelius. The Patriarch of Vigor believed in finding the treatment for the black plague. And so.... the girl joined the infinity slayer to learn the ways of the fallen order, to become a slayer herself; until the day the master left her pupil, for each goes on their separate desires.”
----------------------------------------
A moment of silence whirled between us both as I digested the dreadful tale of the little girl. And find the relevance she mentioned earlier. Until now, I just realized what she truly meant by. Plagued by the crude truth, I started to doubt myself about the similarities I had with the little girl. At least, in the ending...
“Quite the tale, right?" she asked meekly.
Gathering the courage, I directly asked her.
“How long..... how long have you been doing this?”
She understood the premise of my question and answered quietly;
“Almost now hundred years now....” She answered with a little grief in her tone.
I lowered my head in consternation. Further harrowed by the abysmal experience I will face soon enough.
“So....... I am no longer human...... am I?” I asked hesitantly.
“Partly you half human and half demon.... but yes... you aren't human anymore.”
My eyes widened upon confirming the suspicions I had all along. I approached the staircase and sat down for a moment. Absorbing the horrible truth of what I have become.
The old lady seemed to understand the turmoil I was suffering. Therefore, it gave me a moment to think about all of this.
Not only am I curse to others but also to myself again. Whether in the old world or the new one. The bane of misfortunate continued to chase after me like some kind of wanted figure, marked by the higher beings as unfit or damped to live in an eternity of sacrilege of pain. And whenever a moment of joy spurned by, it's taken away as soon as I feel hopeful. Much like now.
For some time, I was oblivious to the truth. I was so blinded by my newfound power, unaware that I lost something far more important than life or death. My soul, now completely lost in whatever third-world demon possessed it. Or elder being.
I.... really have become a demon...... finally. After so many years of struggle. I finally lost it...... my humanity.
I looked back at my hand. The hand that spilled blood, robbed life, hurt others, hurt myself.
The hand of a bloodlust demon, carving on vengeance.
“Self-realization can be hunting, right?” she said mockingly.
“I.......” I stuttered, struggling to talk. “I think I knew all along.”
“Oh?!”
“I mean.... yeah... It's terrible and daunting to learn such an abysmal truth. But when you already know about it. Or at least had a faint suspicion. it hurts less. If anything, it’s a sense of relief, to have you questions finally answered. Even when the end is a devastating one.”
She nodded in agreement and returned to the silence we both grew to like.
But still, I felt guilty. Carried out by the failure of the promise I made to my mother. When I told her that I would change for good. Where I further descended to the deepest depth of hell.
I wanted to change...... but it's too late now. My fate is sealed.
I took a heavy breath, trying to recollect myself again. Washing away the sadness that overwhelmed me recently.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“Feeling better chump?”
“No.... but I honestly don’t care. "I said bitterly.
“Such a tough guy you are.”
“I faced worse than this.”
“Hmph. You don’t say?” she said sarcastically. “I am sure you did kid.”
“So.... I am an infinity slayer now? Or there is some kind of registration I have to make?”
“Before that...” She chuckled “What kind of demon you want to be?”
“What?” confused by her statement.
“I mean do you want to give yourself all and become fully a demon? Or retain some part of your humanity?”
“Isn't my fate sealed to become a demon regardless I fight it or not?”
“Yes, however. The infinity slayers have exceptions to their rules.” She coughed heavily. “Would you like to hear the origin story of how infinity slayers came to be?””
“Why not... it's not like I am rushing anywhere...”
“Oh, you are going to like the tale little one...” The old lady smiled sinisterly. At this point, i am not shocked by what's coming after.
I simply sat and listened more to her tale.
“There can be no life without order. Good, evil, light and dark, life and death. There must be a balance to set the scale in order. Infinity Slayers reassembles that. This goes back all the way to the birth of creation itself. It is said that the stars were once ruled by aeons of dark and mysterious power that rivaled the other aeons. Whether out of jealousy, hate, power. It remains unknown and wasteful for the cause. But the gifts they possessed were something to remember. At one time, during the great cataclysmic war that shattered the stars and the universe in half. Existed one unique and extinct race; they were called the Nephilim.”
“What?!” I asked in shock. “Spawns of hell and heaven?”
“Yes....” The old lady smiled proudly. “You know your stuff kinsmen...”
“Maybe a little too much,” I muttered. “Go on... you piqued my curiosity now...”
“These creatures were the true instruments of war. They possessed incredible physical prowess, wielding some of the deadliest and most powerful weapons molded by the ancient Titans in creation itself. They wielded the very power of the endless void. The first material. Soon, they would use this power to destroy gods, Eldrich or not. Thousands and if not millions were stained beneath their feet. But like everything in this universe, all things come to an end. As the gods died, so did Nephilim. Except for one. The Godfather of the Infinity slayers, Nous.”
(Nous... i feel like i heard this name before....)
“Why i am surprised that the Infinity Slayers have a religious figure in their tales? I thought they were self-centered?”
“They are... and still till this day. You just haven't heard the full tale boy....” she chuckled. “For Nous wasn't like the other Nephilim. Some say he wasn't even one. But out of every Nephilim, he was the most natural one and the most powerful. It was believed that Nous crushed thousands if not ten thousand before his sword; the Void Reaver. A blade able to pierce through the fabric of reality. Till one, his mind snapped and his will to his selfish cause that never ceased to be known till this day. And therefore, created the most cursed omen, an eternal dammed oath. All and after him.”
“He was the first of his kin....” i answered.
“Yes.... and from here the curse shambled on...” She spoke poetically as she looked up at the skies. “Long ago, before the red inferno rule. There were other demonic rulers who inhabited the throne. Among them, is the devil god of the Swarm; Vortex. He was known for his Wasp-like wings, gigantic in size. Wrecked terror in the heart of man as he was known to corrupt the minds of his victims with madness, suicide, and hallucinations. The wasp king knew he wouldn’t survive, and his army was soon to join the former fallen rulers. So, he strategized a method. A ticket to win this war without ever involving his army on the front lines. Simply corrupt the kings of the opposing lands and generals to his side. turning them on the demon side and betraying their comrades.”
“Like a mind wash? Using the blood of Nephilim?”
“Maybe.... at least that's from where I see it.” She answered with disappointment. “Nobody really understood how he did it. It wouldn't make sense if what you said is correct. After all, we didn't drink some god’s blood. We simply became one. Some theorized he used some kind of illusion magic to manipulate their cognition. Like seeing things that aren't real. In this case, their shadow is so called. They lose their sense of themselves, succumbing to their dark desires which were in the political and war sense. Always seek victory at all costs, even if it costs you humanity. An instinct driven solely by their unsensational lust for rationality. In return, they become overpowered and immortal. In short, a demon.”
“Cognition....” I muttered.
She coughed again.
“Others believed he didn’t even get involved. But it was much like the devil's whispers that voice driving you to madness. When it's too overwhelming to the point you lose your sanity.”
“So much like the placebo effect?”
“The fuck is that?” she asked, irked.
“Never mind... It's the same as believing what you are not seeing is true. While for others, it's not there. Thought that doesn't explain the physical changes.”
“This one also theorized. Physiologic changes are basically the same changes that demons are born with. Immortality, self-metabolism, increased muscle mass, and senses of an animal. As of how that remains unknown. But many assumed that what made these changes possible as relations of humans to demons.”
“Our shadow......” I muttered.
“Yes....” she coughed heavier this time. “that's why we call it, making a deal with the devil. You basically surrendered to the part you rejected yourself before. For many people, this means things like sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty. But you might also see as uncivilized and unacceptable things like your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity. The other you despise because of how messed up he is. In a way, your demon.”
“A change in cognition.” I hummed, engrossed in the matter even further than before. “That would make sense.”
“Something up?” she asked curiously.
“Don't mind me.” I shook off her question. “Anyhow, and my guess infinity slayers came up with a solution to this curse?”
“A momentarily one, yes.” she coughed. “Two scholars, one named Syrek and the other unnamed but later was called Ebony archimage. Found the secret to overcoming this curse. Not by a pharmacological method, but rather by a psychological one. You see human emotions are not only driven by rationality, but logical sense as well. A war general knows when to fight and when to call retreat. Desires are restrained and if you lose those restrained. You lose yourself and everyone around you.”
“I am guessing that’s the half-human side we possess you mentioned?”
“Yes....” She took a moment to breathe heavily. “The Ebony archimage theorized and Syrek conducted the experiments. On humans, animals, and themselves. Eventually, they both succeeded. When they both turned to a half demon and half human. Both were immersed in their research, nearly driving them to madness. Especially Syrek. But alas, it all worked whether on accident or on purpose. They found out when the half-demon is still remembering his past life. When he was still human. They start to feel agitated and anxious. Doubts and regrets building up. Looking back on the past and the future. Still unable and unwilling to break that one chain from turning into a demon. This was also evident in the flaming emperor, Federick the Fifth Flame. When he transformed into a demon but went through a slow degeneration process. At first, he was compelled to defeat the High elves in the ancient era at all costs. Then over time, turned mad and lost himself to demonhood. The scholars noted how at first, he was totally sane. Focused only on hunting down the elves which worked for the devil king Favion. But over time, started to have an existential crisis and eventually completely went insane. Killing everybody, including humans and alike. So, they figured that the only way to hold the curse, was by recalling back those dark hurtful memories. They are the very same memories that deteriorate us and what makes us who we are. In short, a part of your personality.”
I am still captivated by the memories of the old world and this one. Of my old friends who until now, just realized how precious they were. And the only memories I have are the most hurtful ones. And of this world, my mom... and the Viking. How I failed them all.
Never walked a day without reminiscing their innocent faces fading away to Ashe. Just a reminder of my guilt, and the unjust of this world. Or more fit to say this unending nightmare.
They may constrain my mind. But it’s a reminder of the time when I had everything. When life was much simpler. Times when I was still human.
So.... that’s why I dream of them every so often. Because I am inclined to them and bound. My humanity remains the same. The second I lose these memories; I lose my identity and soon enough, my humanity.
The effect is taking its toll... as I am already starting to forget fragments of my memories. Slowly. Like the flaming emperor.
“So.... I am fated to turn to a demon at some point?” I asked sorrowfully.
“Yes....” she shook her head hopelessly. “It may take a hundred or thousand years. But you are bound to lose yourself one day.”
I took a heavy breath, grieving over the dark ending I would one day face. And just wondering.
People live, grow up, go to school, make friends, spend time with family, graduate, chase their dreams, fall in love and marry, have kids, then die old.
Where I have nothing of that. I wasted my life, burying myself in the shadows of my other half. Living with pain and misery as my source of energy. My will to live. Which all resulted in this... hell.
And now.... Guilting all over it again, and again.
How many times I have done this? I am pretty sure whoever reading my mind must be sick of my constant whining.
Well.... I already accepted my curse. This is no different. This is just another calamity of many. I am honestly tired of complaining. I already know what's going to happen when I die.
“It's not as bad as it sounds.” she jolted.
“How so?”
“Well. You see, the infinity slayer in a way made a contract. And every contact has to end at some point, right? So, Ebony Archimage said this line; “Giveth thy soul and humanity to hell. To ever reacheth yond one selfish desire at all did cost. But one Thou art break thy chains of captivity of demon hood. one must thou’est experience true death. Either by someone stronger who is't can defeat thee, or killeth yourself ere thee turn into one of those folks”. You got this shit?”
I chuckled and let out a small laugh. filled with irony.
“So, either somebody kills or I kill myself before I turn into a demon to save people the trouble? How poetic....”
“Well, at least it's not like the saying. Fate is worse than death, right? This is real death we are talking about.” she sounded guaranteed.
“Then what about what happens next?”
“You are talking heaven or hell? Fuck if I know. Honestly, I stopped asking that question....” she said sloppily.
“Yeah....” I nodded.
“Want to join your loved ones in heaven that badly?”
“No..... they even don’t exist anymore,” I said coldly with a sorrowful tone.
She remained silent, not wanting to prey on my personal matters more than necessary.
“I have questions...”
“Go on my pupil,” she said charismatically.
“Since when......” I sighed out of annoyance. “Anyways. This Nous, you speak of.”
“I already know what you are going to ask.” She halted as she raised her hand. “Where did he go? Is he dead? I will tell you from now. I have no idea. They aren't many Infinities Slayer’s scholars and enthusiast these days but old man Tudor. The big mage of High Lord Academy assumes he is still alive. Since he became an icon or a bacon of the Infinity order. He now lives among us all. As if our souls became intertwined with him.”
“Is there evidence?”
“There is actually.” She smirked. “But before that, let me ask you a question.”
I extended my hand, gesturing to her to speak.
“Are you self-taught? Or did someone teach you how to fight?”
I was confused by this line of question. However, at this point. It's obvious she loves speaking in riddles. So I played along.
“Both.”
“And how long have you been fighting as an Infinity Slayer?”
“Two months....”
“Ahhhh! You are such a toddler.” She chuckled. ‘Anyways. Did you notice how you grew from slaying wolves and low-ranking monsters to Full-blow the horror and manifestation of the Hollowed ones? I am guessing you survived the night, yes?”
“Yes... i did.” I answered struttingly. “And about your analysis, yeah because I have grown stronger and- ”
“And where did you learn to swing these skills in the most proficient way possible? In a span of two months, you did what normal humans can do in years!”
I took a moment to grasp the details. I noticed this change before but i always overlooked it as simple luck and instinct that guided me. But from the way she is saying it and the sudden line of questioning she asked after the Noux theory.
“You are telling me Nous is related to my skills enhancement? Like a blessing?”
“it's more complicated than that.” She chuckled. “Battel arts are shared and taught from one warrior to another. Spells and magic are also examples that over time, magic is almost the same from every age. Legend passes their skills to not only their bloodlines. But everyone who had the glory to witness the skill. As long the mind catches it, it becomes a sense than a skill.”
“Mind....” i said in realization. “These aren't just Nous skills that we have been blessed with.”
“Not his just.” She smirked. “Everyone one of us! Every Infinity Slayer!”
“The collective unconscious!”
“Yes!!!!!!!!!” She smiled sadistically. “Nous is the bridge between every Infinity Slayer mind. And those roots are connected like neuron synapses! One long-ass link shared by multiple Infinity Slayers. Creating a swarm of knowledge and power that can rival every being in this world. Including the Hollowed ones!”
While the topic was certainly Eldrich in origin. I can't help but feel somewhat enlightened by the knowledge. The power of a god’s unconscious recollection predates history and time itself. Including the knowledge of weapons, magic, history, secrets and truths.
The way was as open as the sea. Vast and boundless.
I had all that.... power.
“Power...” She spoke with a defiant tone as she clutched her hands.” Power enough to destroy mortals! Demons! Gods! Worlds! And universes! That is what our once unbiased accentors possessed! In our own hands.....”
“But?” I asked, with a suspicious tone hinting at her hesitant looks.
“But we have never achieved such victory....” She spoke with a saddening tone. “This Knowledge was long gone and long forever in the sea of Nous souls. Nobody, not even the foolish scholars were able to search the truth....”
“Anyways....” A second of peace passed and she continued with the tale. “With this new temporary treatment. The two scholars became successfully the second infinity slayers. Ebony's archimage went on his alchemical and science research. Where Syrek continued on his experimental games. He later abducted poor children and mentally unhinged patients to create his little shitty army of half-breed humans and demons. By poising their mind to hunt down demons, of any kind. Destroying the majority of their emotional response centers through mutations. Among his many experiments. Fafnir the inhuman was born. Who by now, nobody knows of him. Just a myth. But from what I heard. He was a true nightmare. A force not to be wrecked with. With the order finally established. They played a major role in the Red War. Alongside Saladar of the deep. Korax, the former Knight of Wrath. Medusa is one of the cardinals of the dominion. Vishnar, the Watcher. Enigma, who silences the realm. Pheonix Lord. Bosra the one who thrives on the skeleton throne....”
“That Syrek sounds suspicious, I presume he played a role in the order's downfall?”
“From what I was told by my former master, Cornelius. Yeah, he betrayed the whole order. And even believed who started the black plague. As of why he did such things, hell if I know.”
There are almost no records regarding the infinity order existence or history. From what I read; the order was destroyed nearly ten centuries ago by perfect order. With few exceptional survivors whose names remained unknown till now. Foretold by the old lady. I should grasp as much information as I can since it's scary to get nowadays.
The old lady then pulled out of her pocket some kind of medallion. One I was familiar with. An adamant medallion with the alchemical sign of the infinite.
“Though I felt there were more to these scholars than just names....” she said bitterly.
“Like what....”
“Their identities... I felt like they were fake....” she scrubbed her chin in curiosity. Then she the medallion up. "This is our signature”
“I have seen this before,” I said with minor temperance.
“Oh?! What book,” she asked curiously.
“Not a book. Someone.”
“You met an infinity slayer?”
“Not on purpose. When my village was attacked by the hollowed ones. There was this black knight Weidling a Glaive. And instead of helping the poor villagers. He was fighting alongside the hollow ones. Killing the helpless residents like it was his job.”
“Ha! Now that’s interesting.” she was startled. “A hollowed infinity slayer. That’s something you don’t see every day.”
“I don’t think he was infected.”
“Most Certainty. You and I are immune to this disease. It's just something he wanted to do on his own free will.” She chuckled. “And you just so happen to survive that black knight.”
“Twice, can you imagine?” I said ironically.
Ever since that day, I have been wondering why that thing didn't kill me the moment it saw me. Instead, it chose to approach me and just stare back at me. As if he knew who i was, or i was something of particular interest to him. Or a threat.
Either way, I still question why of all people i was chosen to live that day.
She let out laughter. Then said;
“Must be fate ay?”
“Yeah.... sure......”
“Your looks suggest That black knight must have caused a lot of misfortunes.”
“Not the source, but yeah. One of many.” my voice suddenly grew cold. “I want to kill him.”
“Oh?!” started my reaction in amazement. “On a vengeful road.”
“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just want to kill him.”
“Then you ought to grow stronger kid. That knight could take ten high-ranking paladin knights in a second.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well. I once heard from my old master that there were some groups of Infinity Slayers. Belonging to the same order but faction-wise separately. Called the Knights of Thorns. Led by Leo, the Spear of the Thorns. Wielded spear-like weapons and tremendously mastered them. Not sure if your black knight buddy is one of them given, he wielded a Glaive. But I know for certain he would be your greatest challenge if you want to go up against him”
“Then I have to grow stronger. As much as it takes.” I said confidently.
“I don't think that will be enough kid...” The Old lady chuckled. “I don't if anyone will be able to kill that thing if what you said is true.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it for a moment...” She grinned. “The Hollowed ones closely resembled the Infinity Slayers in many ways. The fact that they have their own connection. Some kind of hive mind controlling the dead and commanding it to spread its poison is enough evidence to prove that they are unstoppable.”
“It does resemble Nous now that you mentioned him...” i said in interest.
“Exactly but unlike the Hollowed ones. Nous does not control us and rather gives us free will to do whatever we want to. Where the Hollowed are restricted from free will, they are not through the flow of information. Including....”
“Nous... “I answered...
“Yes......” She smirked. “Imagine, such a creature, controlling an Infinity Slayer who gazed into Nous Web Network. They have every piece of information that could threaten their dominion over this world, and therefore, developed some kind contingency plans to counter it.”
“Huh......” I sighed in retaliation. “Are you.... we already lost...?”
“Maybe.....” She chuckled. “Honestly I don't know...... I don't plan to find out anytime soon. Unless the Hollowed Ones already controlled the web as we speak.”
“I don't think so....”
“Awh?” She gave a smug look. “You are believing in hope?”
“I say logic,” I spoke with a blatant attitude. “You said Nous flows through the web between us together. And sort of the father of our kind. Giving his blessing of the past skills, knowledge, history and memories of every Infinity Slayer. I was just recently transformed. Thereby confirming his presence. At least, that's why i think.”
“What makes you so sure kid?” She spoke sadistically. “ I mean, what if this Nous is actually the Hollowed ones in disguise? I mean, they work in a very similar way.”
“That......” I couldn't answer in defeat.
“But then again, he gave us free will.... unless that's fake too.”
“It is......”
“Hmmmm?”
“Free will is a lie......”
“So you have tampered into the Void, haven't you?’
“......!”
“That makes you two.... hehehehe...... This Should be fun...”
----------------------------------------
A moment of quiet passed between us. She remarked;
“Reminded me when I was young.” She sounded depressed.
“Do I now?”
“Yeah. Just selfish desires. With no really good twist in the end. Only the everlasting cycle of guilt covers. For that is...”
“Our curse....” We both said at the same time.
It's true. What happens next when I kill the black knight? I got my vengeance but what's next? More killing? Succumbing to demon hood?What lies when you accomplish your mission?
Who knows? The pain doesn’t stop there. It never will
Suddenly, the old lady started to cough heavily again as she spat blood on her hands. And the wolf began to moan in worry as it leaned closer to the old lady.
I got up to check on her.
“I am fine kid.... just a minor setback.”
I ignored her advice and started to feel her pulse and measure her temperature.
“Breathlessness, high temperature. cold, clammy, and pale skin. a fast heartbeat. Heavy breathing... Yeah, you are just undergoing shock.”
“Look at you Being all doctor. Master Cornelius would have liked you for sure.”
“I just know too much.” I started to pull bandages out of my pocket. “We need to sterilize the wound before it gets worse.”
“Don't tire yourself, kid... I can't die from a simple infection.’
“But you will be in a lot of pain. If you want to die, at least die in the way you are anticipating.”
“Don't need to...... because I have already lost.”
“......what?” puzzled by her reaction, I looked in confusion.
“Say kid....” she was speaking with difficulty.” Didn't you ask for a registration to the infinity order?”
“As a joke....”
“Then here you go......” she handed the medallion to my hands. While shaking spreading the infection. “Congratulations... you are one of us now......ahk!”
Regarding her wound, she kept rubbing the wolf furr, calming his fears.
I look back at the medallion in hesitation. What did I ask that question earlier? Did I act instinctively or was I just rashly curiously? And do I even want to be part of this dying order? Whose ideals and morals are relevant only to the person himself. what good will come by severing this profanatory?
“What? Hesitant now kid?” she smirked. “it's not like you have much future now. You and I are dammed to die in the most hideous way possible!”
“But I almost know no shit about the order.”
“You don’t have to!” she coughed. “You are the last member and the leaders have either left or died long ago. Create your own order with your ideals and goals......After all, we are called infinity slayers because we succumbed our sanity to achieve that one personal goal whatever it takes. Not someone's influence like Sabastion did.”
(My order?)
She has a point. I literally have no place to go and no future to achieve. Only a fated end with an effortless goal. Therefore, the order is the perfect place I can home. Unchained by any third party or a doctrine. A place where I can be free at least in my spectrum.
(Doesn’t sound bad at all....)
“I see...” I nodded. “And about what you said earlier. About you already lost.... you meant it by me, haven't you?”
She nodded in agreement while giving a heartwarming smile. One filled with relief. She said quietly;
“You are growing fast to the order kid... you would fit well......”
“What can I say.... learned by the best.”
“Stop complimenting me boy...” she said bitterly while coughing.
“At least hear one last compliment before I end your life.”
“heh....” she grinned. “Got a point.”
Okami began to lean closer to the Old Lady, showing affection and concern as it moaned. She kept playing with him, even in this dire state.
“But why like this? Why not be defeated on a more equal term?”
“I don’t know....” she looked up. Trying to levitate the pain. “Guess I just want to get over with this. And see what lies beyond.”
“I thought you didn’t care about what happens next when you die?”
“I still don’t.... just want to know what happens next, you know? Might go to heaven or hell. Doesn’t matter really. I have already lived a hellish life so Ayin Flame won't make a difference. And if heaven, which is doubtful. That would be just ironic.” she smiled. “So.... I just want to know already.”
“Besides...” she took a heavy breath while aching in pain. “I have lived over a hundred years. I had my share of experiences and journeys. So, I would like to end it here....”
“Yeah....I get it.” I lowered my head in accord, sharing the mutual experience she had.
“Do you really? You still are kid,” she said ironically.
“This is the third time.”
For a moment she looked in confusion. Then her eyes widened in shock after interpreting the sentence. She smiled joyfully and said;
“You are going to make some history old one.”
“I wonder......”
“Life is a set of experiences. Limitless and myriad of all kinds of wonders and adventures. It matters very little what's going to happen next. It’s the moment that Truly makes worth.”
“Yeah.... that’s the worst part about it.
----------------------------------------
After what seemed an hour passed of long exchange. I proceeded to carry the old woman back to her house and fold her on top of the bed. Since she asked that. While looked at the old rotten wooden house as the cold air of the day passed the broken windows through the glistering bluish sunlight rays. Randomly thrown objects and furniture and dried fireplace, hinting at the house clutter state. Except a red large chest placed under half-turned wooden stairs that lead upstairs.
I placed the old woman on the bed as she started to breathe more aggrandized than before. Her fever and chills became more evident, hinting the infection spread.
Even with such a demonic body and power, the human side effects still linger within.
“Say....” she spoke with difficulty. “Never killed a human before?”
“Not directly, no.”
“It's not hard...... just think of them as much as demons. Just a suppressed one. That should coincide with your desire.”
“It's not as easy as it sounds.”
“I know...... but you will get there eventually.”
(Humans or not.... it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Everyone is the same.)
She began to rub the wolf barely who was torn in sorrow. They must have had some good lasting relationship for the wolf to care for her. all for now to be wasted in these hundred years' last moments.
I can even tell from her reaction, she is sad about leaving him alone.
“Say......” She coughed. “Can you take care of the little wolf?”
“What?!”
“You heard me?”
“I know.... it's just....”
“You work alone?” She chuckled as she coughed. “Even the Infinity slayer needs some company from time to time.”
She extended her hand and said;
“Don't make the same mistake as I did and spend a hundred years alone. Watching people, you knew die before you.... only to be left alone to wither and die alone......”
“And the wolf?” I asked.
“Exactly as I meant....”
a moment of silence, leaving the two to reconcile for one last moment to remember.
“Any last words before you fade away to the void?”
“Yeah....” she opened her eyes. Looking all serious and enraged. “Don't ever lose your humanity. It’s the one thing left that is a blessing.”
“Blessing in disguise,” I said rejectingly.
“Perhaps you can change that......” she said quietly.
Can you change fate? Can you prevent the coming end? And stop the elder ones from terrorizing us? I find that hard to believe since we are all byproducts of an elder being ourselves. If we reject it, we all fade away. A fruitful end.
“By the way....” she asked. “Never got your name....”
“....... It's Umbra....”
“Ah title ay?” she chuckled with difficulty. "I am Miranda, Bane of the night.”
I simply nodded.
In two months of mere loneliness and adventuring on my own. She was the first living person who was willing to talk in every human possible and didn't go after my head, at least later. In a mere hour, I felt a sense of relief that I hadn't felt in so long. But such relief came with a hefty price. To end her misery intentionally.
I may not have shown much reaction, but she knows how hurtful it is to kill somebody after spending so long in isolation. Only to have her life taken away by the same person who desperately wanted someone to hear his cries. For a moment I didn’t have the guts to do so. Part of me wants to tell her. (don’t do it! There is a fate worse beyond the afterlife!) but... I understood her. Because I was the same a long time ago. Remembering what I have become. And the sympathy I felt for her. I couldn’t but help to end her miserable existence.
You just at some point.... want to end it all...... even when you know it's going to end up badly.
But in a world like this. Where every path leads to another disaster. Death is a sweet release.
(Thinking like this... I really haven't changed, have I?)
“Before you go....” she called out raising her hand towards the red dusty chest under the stairs. “There is equipment that will help you on your journey. You will see for yourself.”
A moment of silence passed as she started to lose consciousness as a result of the sepsis further deteriorating her. I pulled Winfrey's silver dagger, preparing her final quietus. Marking the end of her Infinity Slayer saga.
“Thank you... Umbra......” she said weakly. “I am glad you were to stand beside me before I left this world.”
“Thank you, Miranda, for telling me the truth,” I said with remorse as I held the knife at her neck.
“Rest well sister and may the flame guide you.”
I thrust the knife right to her neck as deep as I can. She started to choke with little resistance with the blood gushing out on her neck and the dagger.
Just like that after a few seconds, she went silent and took a long sleep. I then cover her face with the blanket. Staining it with the blood.
the wolf began to weep and hurried its legs on her deceased body.
I pulled the knife away and then took a heavy breath.
I couldn’t cry but felt an overwhelming sense of grief as a result of the recent events. Everything really, from the constant beast cat and mouse game, fighting the hollowed ones, risking my worthless life. The harsh truth of what I become. The Hopelessness ever blooming and circling around me like a tumor.
(For a moment...... It seems I unconsciously felt hopeful when I talked to her... only to be stripped away.)
In recognition of the dark isolation, I have grown accustomed to over the last years. But after this. And after the recent battle I had. I realized how weak I was still. And how long the road was ahead of me to achieve my goal.
To hunt down the elder ones.
*
I turned away and pulled the red chest to the center of the room. There was no lock so I opened it without trouble.
The chest had all kinds of sorts of equipment. Potions ingredients and scrolls. Throwing daggers and a short sword. Shoulder and joint plates armor with a set of similar shape and design of my own but repaired well. colored black and white.
Instead of an iron mask like I had a while back. A clean smooth wooden white mask with only eyes holes to see. The right eye seemed to be covered with looks like a fixed black glue, hanging a tear below around the nose ends.
The mask looked ominous and gave a mysterious vibe of fear. Concealing the wearer from revealing their face to the outside world. Like a persona completely different from what lies behind the mask.
Recalling back Miranda's words;
“You ought to cover your face kid if you don’t want people to find out who you are.”
And looking back at myself. I can't help but feel compelled to wear the mask.
Everything until that day on the walls, I harbored a weak persona. A character who was nothing but a coward bringing about death in everything he touches. Unfit and cursed forever to roam the world for eternity. Inhuman to begin with.
However,..... with this new power. Thie newfound strength. I could finally change what I couldn’t do all along.
But it wasn't enough. my face, my reactions to everything reminds me of how emotions have destroyed my insanity all along.
If I could only remove it... I then change for good. Cherishing the new persona. It’s a temporary solution I know that much. But so does my lifeline, it’s a short-lived one.
(I can then.... complete my Friends wish... to change...)
I slowly lifted the mask and then wore it around my face. Taking a deep breath and then opening my eyes only to see the world smaller through the narrow eye field.
“The world... is small.”
That’s right. I just have to ignore everything and focus on my one goal. To hunt down every demon until my last breath stench away this world for good.
Suddenly, the wolf stood beside me and looked at me in confusion.
"Huh..... so you are stuck with me...arent you?"