OK, it was definitely 100% what Wonder called a Pinky Pie face situation.

Kingsley wasn’t actually even as big as he looked from a distance. The Dragonkin man was even skinnier than Wonder, though they were both pretty tall. His face was soft and a bit distant.

The only thing that indicated strength was actually the ton of Beasts he had.

There was a whole array in this small camp. Wonder could name a million Pokemon ripoffs, but also a lot of common lore and creepypastas ripoffs, then the generic fantasy stuff. All of them looked pretty powerful too.

Wonder had a ways to go, but he could survive on that.

Kingsley looked up from grooming an unicorn of all things, and his appearance started to morph into the big, buff Dragonkin Wonder had seen earlier. OK, this was a mesmirsituation…

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a sharp female voice said, “Kingsley! That’s the Tamer Lil convinced to come with us! None of that!”

Suddenly Soft Kingsley was back. “S-S-Sorry… Hi… I’m Kingsley.”

Wonder said, “Wonder. Who just spoke?”

Suddenly a very traditional fairy zipped up into his face. She waved. “Hi! I’m Zella. I’m Kingsley’s Ranch Manager.”

Ranch Manager? Oh yeah, Dark mentioned that in the Quest Rewards. Zella must handle the Ranch and extra Beasts while Kingsley was on hunts.

Wonder said, “Nice to meet you, Zella. I’m Wonder.”

He looked at the kids by him. “Lil’ guy’s Izuku, and the lil’ girl’s Sakura.”

Izuku said, “Hi!!!” Sakura waved shyly, then hid behind Wonder’s leg.

Zella said, “Nice to meet you all. I’m just gonna help Kingsley prep his team for the trip. If your Ranch Manager wants to arrange something…”

Wonder said, “Thanks, but I only just got my Advanced Class. I haven’t had time to get a Ranch, much less a Manager.”

Zella said, “Fair enough!”

In a flash of pink light, she zipped away. Kingsley blushed. “Yeah, uh… that’s her… Kat?!?”

Wonder looked from the horrorstruck Tamer to grim Dark Paladin. Izuku cheered, “Unca Kat coming with us?”

Kat smiled gently. “Just until we get back to Darkeon, Izuku. Then I do have a job to get to.”

He patted Izuku’s head. He looked at Wonder. “Lil said you might need a babysitter.”

Wonder smiled in relief. “Totally. Thanks a lot, Kat.”

Kat said, “Of course.”

He glared at Kingsley. But he wisely kept whatever smart comments he wanted to say to himself. He looked around. “Where’s Zella?”

Wonder said, “Went flying towards the giant beanstalks, last I saw her.”

Kat nodded and headed that way. Kingsley looked ashamed, and basically hid among his horses.

Well, this was gonna get uncomfortable. Wonder may just end up being an extra body. Oh well, it was a paid trip.

Wonder checked one of Hoseki’s two moons. Their presence alone had backed up Kat’s story as a possible valid point. There was a Day Moon, and a Night Moon. The Day Moon was an eternal crescent and seemed to combat the sun in the day. Nothing was unbearable, but Wonder had quickly was thankful he preferred hotter climates. The Night Moon was just… a regular moon.

Right now, it was only a few hours pass sundown. The kids were already asleep. Unless Wonder was planning on a night hunt, it would probably be good if he headed to bed.

Lilliana walked up. “Wonder, a moment?”

They walked off to the side. To where a different carriage sat. It was almost an exact copy of the one Kat had lent Wonder, except there was no horses. Nor was there any structure to link a horse or beast.

Wonder blinked. A literally horseless carriage?

Wonder said, “I am staring at a Hoseki car.”

Lilliana said, “A… never mind. Never mind.”

Wonder blushed. By old habit, he said, “Sorry…”

Lilliana waved it off. She said, “I got this carriage when the hatchlings were born. Dragonkin hatchlings are usually not good with animals and beasts. My brother was the one exception, and I suspect it’s his fae blood.”

Wonder said, “Fae? That explains the mesmir…”

Lilliana blinked. She then chuckled. “Your knowledge is very unexpected. Did the fae of your land use mesmir?”

Wonder said, “Some did, some didn’t.” Where had he even learned the phrase “mesmir”? Was it Artemis Fowl or Spiderwick Chronicles…? Or both? Or that third series with a frog eating a magic pod with a kid in it…?

Wonder forced himself out of his musings. He said, “I’m guessing you’re gonna lend me this for the kids? I do appreciate it.”

Lilliana smiled. “Better. It’s yours.”

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Wonder’s jaw dropped. Lilliana held up a hand and said, “Easy. This one is last year’s model. Still perfectly functional and whatnot, but not something the daughter of Kingsleyshould ride. And besides, the hatchlings are back with their mother, so I have no need of it.”

Wonder said, “Still. Thanks a million!”

A new box appeared.

Lilliana Brainstrom has transferred ownership of Horseless Carriage Model Kidproof 1700 to you. Accept? Y/N

Wonder hit Y and then tapped the side of the carriage. The stairs slid out, and the door unlocked. Lilliana said, “Why do you randomly hit the air like that? If I may ask, of course.”

Wonder said, “Uh… to put simply, this world’s magic has a different look for me for comfort purposes.”

Lilliana said, “Ah.” She shrugged it off, and seemed just fine.

Wonder opened the carriage door, and walked inside. Basically, it was a tiny RV. A corner for a toilet and sink that was cut off. A very small kitchenette. A couch that could open up into a bunk bed. And the back for a small storage space, or maybe a sleeping bag. While cramped, it was cozy, and there were no sharp edges.

Wonder peeked out. “This is awesome. Thanks a ton! Now… someone’s gonna have to show me how to drive this thing.”

Lilliana chuckled. “I can do that tomorrow. But since you’re in a caravan, you can just lock it to a wagon in front and it will follow.”

Wonder said, “Easy to boot. Sweet. Still need to learn to off-road just in case.”

Wonder and Lilliana spent the next hour moving the Hyde family’s stuff from one carriage to the new one. While they tried to avoid waking the kids by only concentrating on the overhead storage, Sakura was a light sleeper, and started calling for her daddy. Once she was up, Izuku was up.

Luckily, Kat came over and soon they had everything transferred over. The bottom bunk bed was big enough for both kids to sleep together… and they were still young enough for that to pass. Wonder took the top bunk, but kept the sleeping bag in the “Closet” just in case.

****************

Since Kat had to return the rental carriages he was no longer using, they had a late start. It didn’t matter, not really. They were on vacation after all.

Wonder and his kids went into the woods for some light rabbit hunting. As well to test Sakura’s enhancement magic. She was still shy and timid, but apparently away from people was all right, because she came out from behind Wonder freely.

Wonder checked the time and loot via his Menu. While he had a comms window and Kat could message him anytime with magic, he didn’t want to overdo it in the woods. Especially since he might be hunting new game later.

Wonder checked on his kids quickly. Izuku was helping Sakura ride Stormy’s mate, Lightning. Sakura wasn’t as confident as her brother, but had wanted to learn. Wonder approved, since in an emergency situation that could mean both kids could get on wolves and get a safe distance away.

Wonder prepped his bow, and the aim-assist appeared. He hadn’t upgraded his bow yet… so far, for the game he hunted, the beginner bow sufficed. Maybe that was too many shooter games talking. It didn’t matter.

He waited until a rabbit went into the crossbow, and released the arrow. Perfect headshot. A skull bones symbol appeared above the rabbit, an indication of the kill.

We could have rabbit stew for dinner. And I have some hides to sell.

Wonder got up… and suddenly felt a tentacle on him. He looked, and Izuku was there. The boy looked afraid, and shook his head.

Wonder looked around. He waved his hand, and Garados appeared and wrapped around him. Wonder looked at Sakura. She was hiding behind Stormy and Lighting.

What is here that I’m not picking up?

Wonder indicated with his head back towards the carriages. The small pack started moving that way. Wonder re-nocked an arrow, and looked around. The wolves had come in full force, making a protective perimeter around them.

Suddenly, a bloody man in a suit stumbled out of the woods. Red snake-eyes met red human-eyes. The man whispered, “Help her.”

He then collapsed, and the Skullbones appeared.

There was a shrill scream.

Wonder spun, prepping the arrow. He then saw flashes of bright pink dashing through the woods… followed by black flashes.

Wonder said, “Izuku! Have Stormy and the pack take you and Sakura to Unca Kat. Tell him I need backup!”

Izuku nodded. Sakura held up her hands and chanted, “Def boost!”

Green light filled Wonder. He got a notification: DEF temporarily boosted. For 10 minutes you cannot be harmed.

He just became Maple.

Wonder said, “Thanks, sweetie.”

Izuku then whistled. A ton of undead bunnies emerged from the woods. These had sharp teeth.

Wonder nodded. “Thanks, Izuku. All right, people, move!”

The pack split in two. Wonder shot ahead, thankful for his AGI boost. He was able to zip around trees, and soon caught up to the blurs.

The pink was definitely the “her”. It was a woman dressed in probably the most frilliest… oh heck, google Princess Peach and you have the dress with slightly less lace. The woman’s face was covered in freckles and had dark-green hair which was definite color mismatch. The black was two men in black SWAT armor.

Like, no joke, it was legit SWAT ARMOR.

Luckily, though, the idiots didn’t have SWAT helmets. They both had ninja cloth linings. The armor was probably purchased from a 2nd-hand store who either looted or bought the armor from Earthlings who ended up here.

Wonder shot ahead, and prepped ahead. He whistled, sending a mental command to the Undead Bunnies to swarm the Not-SWAT, but avoid the heads.

And they did.

Suddenly the two men were being jumped by a mass of grey and red. There were panicked shouts of “What the hell?” And “What the fuck is this?!?”

Then two arrows silenced them forever.

Yeah, maybe too many shooter games.

Princess-Dress collapsed to her knees, panting deeply. Wonder emerged. Once he saw the skullbones symbol and the Undead Bunnies enjoying a free meal, he knelt by her. “Ma’am, are you all right?”

The woman looked at him in shock, then blushed. She said in a deep voice, “I am sorry. I am male.”

Wonder got stunned. Then kicked himself in the ass. He used to be a woman, dammit! He had no right to be shocked!

Wonder held out his hand. He said, “Apologies, sir. The one who requested I come save you said her.”

Male-Princess blushed, then grew sorrowful. “Oh… yeah. He probably was just trying to indicate which one of us to save.”

Wonder helped him up. He said, “I’m sorry for your loss, friend.”

Male-Princess nodded. “…are you alone?”

Wonder said, “No. I got a party nearby. One of them is a Paladin if you need healing… and I just realized I don’t know if Kat does know healing magic. Fuck.”

Male-Princess cracked a sad smile. “I’m fine. I work out.”

They walked towards the camp. About halfway Kat emerged, except now dressed in black armor. He froze, and removed his helmet. He said, “You already took care of them?”

Wonder said, “Luckily, those guys got easily distracted by undead bunnies.”

Kat said, “I… am scared to ask.”

Wonder just smirked.

Kat looked at Male-Princess, and instant went pale. “Prince Jaylon! What are you doing here?!?”

Jaylon said, “No. Not dealing with this Prince shit. Especially since… grrrrr… not in the mood. Not in the fucking mood.”

Wonder said, “Warning: get the cussing out now. I have two toddlers at camp and I’ll happily put an arrow in you if you dare.”

Kat said, “Uh, Wonder…”

Jaylon waved it off, smiling softly. “No, that is fair. And call me Mids. You earned at least that right.”

Oh great, royalty rules. Strangely Japanese by strange coincidence lol.

Wonder smirked. “Wonder. Anyway, let’s head back… and I’m very curious why you were out here.”