Chapter 8 - Orochimaru's Disciples
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Sakumo knew that Orochimaru was a brilliant genius, the kind that could make even Einstein feel like he was still in kindergarten, probably sitting in the corner wearing a pointy hat.
So when he mentioned the ingenious ideas his sons had come up with for developing ninjutsu, he expected Orochimaru’s reaction to be nothing short of electric—like a lightning bolt hitting a rubber chicken.
“This is truly astonishing!” Orochimaru exclaimed, his eyes gleaming like a kid who just discovered a secret stash of candy.
“A genius mind, who would have thought that they could devise such incredible ninjutsu concepts at the tender age of five? I’m genuinely impressed! I mean, I didn’t even master tying my shoes until I was six!"
“Right? It’s like they’ve channeled their inner mad scientist!” Sakumo chuckled, taking a sip from his steaming cup of tea, savoring the moment like a fine wine connoisseur who just discovered grape juice.
Orochimaru, momentarily lost in thought, lowered his head and seemed to drift into a memory. The silence stretched out like a long, awkward pause in a bad sitcom where no one remembered their lines.
Sakumo, ever patient, decided not to disturb him. Instead, he took another sip of tea, pretending to be very interested in the swirling patterns of the tea leaves, which were clearly more entertaining than whatever was happening in Orochimaru's brain.
Finally, Orochimaru snapped back to reality, a smile creeping across his face.
“Kakashi and Miblade are indeed remarkable. However, would it be alright if I asked them both a few questions separately? You know, for science! Or possibly to fuel my next evil plan.”
Sakumo nodded enthusiastically, as if he were signing a contract to host a ninja talent show.
“Of course, Lord Snake! One moment, please. I’ll fetch the two of them faster than a ninja running from a bad haircut.”
He stepped out into the courtyard, where Kakashi and Miblade were engaged in an intense training session, weaving and dodging as if they were in a high-stakes game of ninja tag. It looked more like an interpretive dance about running away from responsibilities.
“Kakashi! Miblade! Come here!” Sakumo called, his voice booming like a thunderclap on a sunny day, startling a flock of birds into the next village.
“Dad!” both boys exclaimed in unison, abruptly halting their playful sparring, looking a bit like startled deer caught in headlights—or more accurately, two deer who had just realized they were in a horror movie.
Sakumo beamed at them, trying to look like a proud father instead of a ninja dad with questionable fashion choices.
“I have found a powerful teacher for you both. He’s one of the legendary Three Ninjas! He’ll be asking you some questions, and it’s up to you to impress him. No pressure!”
“Awesome!” Kakashi replied, practically bouncing on his heels like a kid who just found out that ice cream is on the menu for dinner.
The chance to be evaluated by Orochimaru was like being chosen first for the dodgeball team—an honor, and also slightly terrifying!
Miblade, however, was a bit more cautious. His past encounters with Hokage had left him a tad wary. He recalled some of Orochimaru's more notorious escapades—like conducting live experiments, turning rogue, and devising plans to wreak havoc on Konohagakure.
“Wait a minute,” Miblade thought, his brow furrowing.
“I mean, I don’t have a deep connection to Konoha anyway. Why should I care if it gets destroyed? As long as Dad and Kakashi are alive, that’s my real home! But still… rogue experiments? No thank you!”
Realizing Orochimaru wasn’t the same unpredictable figure he’d become in the future, Miblade reassured himself.
“Right now, he’s just a guy who wants to help me get stronger. That’s all that matters. And if I can dodge a few crazy experiments along the way, even better!”
“Enter!” Sakumo called, ushering the two brothers into the house like a host welcoming guests to a very confusing dinner part.
He stepped back, leaving Kakashi and Miblade to face Orochimaru, who stood in the center of the room, exuding an air of charisma and curiosity, as if he were about to lead a thrilling scientific expedition—or perhaps a surprise quiz.
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With a dramatic flourish, Orochimaru gestured for the boys to sit, his excitement palpable.
“Now, let’s see what kind of ninjutsu geniuses I have before me! And no pressure, but if you mess up, I might have to turn you into my next experiment! Just kidding! (Sort of.)”
Orochimaru had an insatiable fascination with genius—like a cat with a laser pointer, and the laser pointer was set to "existential crisis mode." With a gleam in his eyes, he leaned in, ready to grill his young prospects like it was the world’s most intense job interview.
“Senior Sakumo suggested I take you two as disciples. I find both of you quite... intriguing. But I have two questions for you.” He paused dramatically, as if unveiling the secrets of the universe.
“First: What do you think is the meaning of life?”
“Life?” Kakashi blinked, caught completely off guard by the curveball. He had been mentally prepared for a ninja skills test or, at worst, some absurd game of shadow clone charades. But this? This was deep.
His brain immediately went into overdrive, like a hamster furiously sprinting on a wheel, desperately searching for an answer that made even a shred of sense.
“You don’t need to overthink it,” Orochimaru added, sounding like a chill podcaster on the topic of "Unraveling Life's Mysteries in 10 Easy Steps." He leaned back with a smirk, clearly enjoying this far too much.
Kakashi scratched his head, his brow furrowing with the intensity of someone trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with no instructions.
“Uh… well, I think life is short. And since it's so short, I guess you have to do something meaningful. Or at least something you enjoy.”
He nodded, feeling like he’d just completed a philosophical dissertation, even though his heart was pounding with the anxiety of someone who forgot to study for a test.
Orochimaru's smile widened, his eyes twinkling like a mischievous kid who just heard a joke no one else got.
“Ah, Kakashi’s answer! So profound! And you, Mi Blade?” He turned, his gaze locking onto the second contestant in this bizarre game show.
Without missing a beat, Mi Blade chimed in, “Same as Kakashi. You’ve gotta do something meaningful, or at least fun, so you don’t feel like an idiot when you die.”
Orochimaru stroked his chin, looking like someone who had just discovered a particularly interesting flavor of ice cream.
“Excellent! Very good! Now, let’s kick things up a notch: what do you think a ninja is?”
“A ninja?” Kakashi and Mi Blade answered in unison, casually shrugging as if they were discussing the best ramen toppings.
“Aren’t they just people who know ninjutsu?”
Orochimaru burst out laughing, the sound like wind chimes in a haunted house.
“Fascinating! I like this answer. Very straightforward! No overthinking, no frills. Perfect!” He stood up, practically radiating excitement, as if he had just found the winning lottery ticket.
“Well then,” he declared, barely able to contain himself, “I’m happy to say I agree with you both!”
Kakashi, relieved, smiled awkwardly.
“Uh, thank you, Lord Orochimaru?” He tried to sound formal, but his voice cracked with the sheer relief of having dodged what could have been a mental minefield.
Mi Blade just grinned, giving a casual thumbs-up like he’d aced a pop quiz on "Ninja 101."
Orochimaru, trying to maintain his villainous mystique but clearly tickled by the nickname, smirked.
“Alright, go fetch Mr. Sakumo!” he said, his voice barely containing his enthusiasm. He looked as excited as a snake at a mouse buffet.
As Kakashi and Mi Blade zoomed out of the room like they were late for a ramen sale, Orochimaru leaned back in his chair, feeling an unusual swell of pride.
Finally, his thoughts on what a ninja really was had found validation. His ideas, often dismissed by his mentors and peers as "too much snake talk" or "Orochimaru, we’re trying to have a normal conversation," were now shared by two bright young minds. He felt like he’d just won the intellectual lottery.
Meanwhile, back in the main house, Sakumo was over the moon. His two sons had somehow managed to impress Orochimaru—the ninja equivalent of impressing the toughest teacher in school who also happened to be a part-time mad scientist.
To celebrate, Sakumo decided to throw a party so grand that the village would probably wonder if there was an attack. Snacks, drinks, and an absurdly large amount of fireworks were ordered, the kind that made you question whether the celebration was for joy or an emergency evacuation.
As the preparations kicked into high gear, word reached the Third Hokage, Sarutobi. He let out a long sigh, the kind that said,
“Oh no, what’s Orochimaru up to now?” But then, surprisingly, he nodded.
“Ah, perhaps Orochimaru is just compensating Sakumo for all he’s been through,” Sarutobi mused aloud, as if trying to convince himself this wasn’t the prelude to another bizarre experiment involving snakes and way too much fire.
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In the days that followed, Kakashi and Mi Blade threw themselves into their training with Orochimaru, feeling like they’d just signed up for the ninja equivalent of a roller coaster designed by a mad scientist—loops, twists, and just a hint of dangerously questionable ethics.
But to their mild disappointment, Orochimaru didn’t immediately start teaching them cool, over-the-top jutsu like summoning a giant three-headed demon gate or turning into a snake tornado.
Apparently, even the most talented five-year-olds couldn’t handle summoning Triple Rashomon without burning through their entire chakra reserves—and possibly their brain cells.
Instead, Orochimaru, the legendary Sannin and part-time life coach, focused on helping the boys wrangle their wild, soap-opera-worthy ideas.
Kakashi was more than eager to learn, but Mi Blade was left to ponder an age-old question:
'What about me? Was he just going to stand by while Kakashi absorbed all the cool ninja knowledge?'
He was having existential crises before his bedtime.
One day, in the middle of another "why-aren’t-we-throwing-lightning-bolts-yet" training session, Mi Blade turned to Kakashi, scratching his head like a confused philosopher.
“Hey, Kakashi... what happens when your Sharingan starts making everything all wonky and chaotic? Do you think you’ll still... y’know... accidentally stab Lin with your Chidori?” he asked, as casually as someone discussing their lunch plans.
Kakashi gave a half-hearted shrug, his face caught between amusement and that “please don’t remind me of future trauma” expression.
“I mean, I hope not! But who knows, sometimes life’s like a game of dodgeball—one second you’re fine, and the next, bam! You’ve taken a rubber ball to the face and your whole plan’s ruined.”
Mi Blade chuckled at that. His mind, meanwhile, was already spinning off into the wild unknown, filled with chaotic questions and bizarre theories that no normal five-year-old should be thinking about.
Other kids might be trading snacks or debating whose mom made the best onigiri, but Mi Blade? He was busy pondering the philosophical nature of peace in the ninja world. He threw his hands up dramatically, looking to the sky.
“Whose love is really the guiding light in all of this?” he proclaimed, like a pint-sized, ninja Shakespeare.
Kakashi blinked, then sighed. “Yup, you’re gonna be that kid.”
As Mi Blade pondered the butterfly effect of his decisions, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he and Kakashi were two clueless moths flapping their wings in a much bigger, way more chaotic storyline.
Who knew if their future would stay on track or veer off like a runaway shopping cart in a crowded village square?
About two weeks into their training, Saki, their always-over-the-top, ever-enthusiastic mentor, came bouncing up to Mi Blade with a twinkle in her eye like she’d just found the secret ingredient to perfect ramen.
“Guess what, you two! Time to round up the squad! We’re heading to the frontlines to flush out some sneaky enemies still hanging around the Land of Fire!”
“Wait, there are still bad guys out there?” Mi Blade gasped, eyes widening like he’d just learned bedtime wasn’t a suggestion.
The idea of villains lurking in the shadows like raccoons at a poorly supervised picnic sent shivers down his spine.
“Of course!” Saki beamed, practically vibrating with excitement.
“The Second Ninja World War might’ve officially wrapped up, but not everyone’s agreed to sit around and roast marshmallows just yet. There’s always a few troublemakers causing a ruckus in the shadows!”
Kakashi, ever the cool-headed one, smirked and crossed his arms like he was about to dRop the most confident line in history.
“Guess we’ll just have to remind them that two five-year-old geniuses and their ridiculously awesome teacher are not to be messed with!”
Mi Blade nodded sagely. “Yeah, because nothing says ‘fearsome warriors’ like needing a nap right after lunch.”