Chapter 30 - Harem No Jutsu Aftermaths

______________________

Unsatisfied with how things were unfolding, Jiraiya felt like a brilliant artist staring at a blank canvas or a chef left with no ingredients.

His grand jutsu, once a masterpiece in the making, was crumbling before his very eyes, and his shadow clones were behaving like spoiled children refusing to color outside the lines.

“Well, this is going nowhere fast,” he muttered to himself, pacing the room.

“If this keeps up, I might actually have to ask those Hatake kids for advice… but that’ll take at least a month!” He winced at the thought, imagining the lectures he’d be forced to endure from Hatake Sakumo.

Sakumo, the ever-watchful father, had an almost uncanny ability to track his children’s movements, which meant that Jiraiya’s usual antics would be met with zero tolerance.

The man was like a living, breathing security system, and with hair whiter than fresh snow, he seemed to always be one step ahead.

Grumbling like a teenager grounded for eternity, Jiraiya rifled through a stack of ancient scrolls, muttering to himself,

“There’s gotta be something in here—some hidden technique that’ll make my clones behave. Super clone powers… or maybe an ancient loophole?”

But after weeks of fruitless searching, Jiraiya had to accept the bitter truth—there was no magical scroll, no secret technique that could salvage his project.

He finally let out a defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping as he tossed another useless scroll aside. His genius, for the time being, would have to sit on the shelf and gather dust.

Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, a spark of inspiration hit him like a bolt of lightning. Minato! His prized student, Namikaze Minato—the kid was not only talented but also adored Jiraiya. If anyone could help him out of this mess, it was Minato.

Bolstered by newfound hope, Jiraiya made a beeline for Minato, who greeted him with his usual bright smile, clearly eager to share his own progress. The young prodigy began explaining how he had been refining the Rasengan, adding new layers to the technique’s power and control.

However, as Minato delved deeper into his explanation, Jiraiya’s attention drifted. His mind wandered, darting from one half-baked idea to another, until he realized Minato had paused mid-sentence.

“Sensei?” Minato asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you even listening?”

Snapping back to reality, Jiraiya blinked a few times before nodding hastily.

“Of course! You’ve made great progress, my boy!” he said, even though he hadn’t absorbed a single word. “Good student! Now, about my other idea…”

Minato’s cheerful expression faltered, a slight twinge of unease creeping in.

“Uh, Sensei,” he began cautiously, “I have to admit… this idea of yours—it’s, well, a little disgusting.” Ever the polite student, Minato was doing his best to choose his words carefully, not wanting to offend his teacher.

Jiraiya brushed off his concern with a dismissive wave.

“Pfft! What do you know about life yet? You’re like a piece of fresh sushi—delicious, sure, but still lacking in seasoning and experience!”

Minato opened his mouth to protest, but the situation was quickly spiraling into uncomfortable territory. It was clear that his mentor was about to dive headlong into yet another harebrained scheme, oblivious to the awkwardness he was causing.

As Jiraiya launched into an animated explanation of his “master plan,” Minato stood there, offering a weak smile while silently wishing for a distraction—anything to get him out of this bizarre conversation.

It was like watching a runaway train hurtle towards disaster, and Minato, ever the dutiful student, could do little but brace for impact.

Minato, attempting to save his sensei from an impending wave of embarrassment, offered a suggestion, “Sensei, if you’re really that desperate for love, why not consider asking Tsunade-sama out? You’ve known her since childhood, and well… she is single.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“TSUNADE?!?” Jiraiya’s brain came to a screeching halt, the mere mention of her name derailing his thoughts faster than a train without brakes.

Instead of the image of her famed beauty gracing his mind, all he could picture was her fist—massive, lethal, and looming like a nightmare that haunted his sleep.

“I’d consider it,” Jiraiya stammered, his voice shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane’s gale. “But first, I need to run… an experiment.”

Minato blinked, his expression a mixture of confusion and concern. “An experiment? With… who?”

Jiraiya’s eyes gleamed with a mad brilliance as he slapped a hand on Minato’s shoulder. “With you, of course! Who better?”

Minato’s eyes widened, and he instinctively took a step back, feeling an odd sense of foreboding. “But… Sensei, I’m not Tsunade-sama!”

Jiraiya dismissed the protest with a grandiose wave. “Nonsense! You’ll be perfect! I’ll teach you everything you need to know!”

A single bead of sweat slid down Minato’s forehead. Sometimes, being the top student came with unfortunate consequences—like getting roped into Jiraiya’s absurd experiments.

“Alright, Minato! Here’s what we’ll do. First, you’re going to create three shadow clones, and each one will transform into Tsunade,” Jiraiya instructed, practically bouncing with excitement.

Minato sighed, resigning himself to the madness. With a few quick hand signs, three shadow clones appeared, all of them instantly transforming into Tsunade.

They stood before Jiraiya, each looking bewildered, like three identical statues unsure of why they’d been created in the first place.

Jiraiya leaned in close, scrutinizing them with the intensity of an art critic at an exhibit.

“Hmm, no, Minato. Your attention to detail is… lacking,” he muttered, waving his hand dismissively. “The, uh… proportions… are all wrong. Still too small.”

Minato, now thoroughly confused and more than a little embarrassed, glanced at his creations. “But I used a one-to-one ratio,” he mumbled, his cheeks flushing red.

“How could it be smaller?”

As the two “geniuses” delved deeper into their bizarre size analysis, they failed to notice the silent storm brewing just around the corner.

Uzumaki Kushina happened to pass by, her mood already teetering on the edge, only to find herself staring at the absurd sight of three Tsunades standing before a very focused Jiraiya and a flustered Minato.

Her blood instantly boiled. “He’s ditching me for this? This?!” she seethed, her fury building like the pressure inside a volcano ready to erupt.

Kushina wasn’t the type to stew quietly. No, when she was mad, she exploded. Her anger didn’t simmer—it erupted, and when it did, the ground trembled beneath her.

Without hesitation, she activated her King Kong Blockade technique, her signature chakra chains bursting forth from her like the wrath of a storm, crackling with power.

They surged forward with a vengeance, wrapping around the three “Tsunades” with the force of a tidal wave crashing into a cliffside.

Even the Kyuubi, who had been peacefully napping within her subconscious like a lazy, oversized cat, jolted awake in sheer terror. What did I do? it thought, startled by the sudden onslaught of chains wrapping around its massive form like an iron cage.

Before the great beast could even react, Kushina stormed into her own mindscape, glaring at the Kyuubi with the fiery intensity of a dragon awakened on a scorching summer day.

“I need your chakra. Now!” she demanded, her voice sharp and unyielding, cutting through the air like a blade. There were no pleasantries, no soft requests—just raw, volcanic fury.

The Kyuubi, caught off guard by her sheer audacity, blinked. It had faced wars, survived through ages, and fought countless shinobi, but this—this was on an entirely different level.

With a reluctant, almost sheepish sigh, the great fox lowered its head, its massive form quivering beneath the weight of her wrath. “...Yes, ma’am,” it muttered, conceding defeat.

The Kyuubi, long suppressed by Kushina's iron will, felt its own frustration bubbling beneath the surface. But today, wisdom took precedence over fury—it knew better than to test its vessel’s patience.

Instead, in a rare display of submission, the massive fox conceded, scouring its vast reserves of chakra before begrudgingly lending a substantial portion to Kushina.

With the surge of chakra flooding her veins, Kushina felt a powerful rush—like she could split the very earth with a single punch and watch mountains crumble before her.

"Here’s a little something extra to help me out!" she growled, her voice brimming with rage as her eyes locked onto Jiraiya.

The legendary Sannin, still engrossed in his peculiar debate over the "proportions" of his Tsunade clones, was blissfully unaware of the storm about to crash down on him.

Kushina wasted no time. “Jiraiya!” she bellowed, her voice cutting through the air like a whip,

“Hope you’re ready for a world of hurt!”

Before Jiraiya could comprehend what was happening, Kushina lunged at him, moving with the speed and ferocity of a wild beast. He barely had time to gasp before he found himself slammed against the wall, pinned like a ragdoll in the grasp of a hurricane. He resembled a botched taxidermy project, arms flailing helplessly, his fate sealed.

Nearby, hidden in the shadows, a group of Anbu agents watched in stunned silence as they felt the unmistakable pressure of the Kyuubi’s chakra.

Their instincts screamed at them to report this incident immediately, so they scrambled toward the Hokage Tower, tripping over each other in their haste, like bumbling characters in a poorly-timed comedy.

Upon reaching Sarutobi Hiruzen, they burst in, breathless and frantic.

“Lord Hokage, you won’t believe this! Kushina’s gone full berserker mode!”

Sarutobi, seated comfortably, peered into his crystal ball with the nonchalance of someone watching a routine sparring match. Raising a single eyebrow, he offered a dry response:

“Well, you’ve sinned; you cannot live.”

Without looking up, he continued, “Let her blow off some steam. Jiraiya could use a good lesson in humility. It’s about time he had some ‘character development.’”

Meanwhile, Minato stood frozen nearby, eyes wide with horror, watching as his sensei was pummeled mercilessly.

Each of Kushina’s punches crackled with raw energy, sending Jiraiya deeper into the wall with every blow. Minato’s voice trembled as he muttered, “I didn’t think it would end like this…”

His pale face glanced toward Kushina, now in full wrath mode, fists blazing with chakra, utterly unrelenting.

Hours later, at a quaint little restaurant in the heart of Konoha, Minato sat across from Kushina, wearing a sheepish expression. Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, he confessed,

“Look, it wasn’t my idea! Jiraiya-sensei practically forced me into making those clones.”

Kushina narrowed her eyes, but before she could respond, nearby, Kakashi and Mi Blade quietly shared a knowing glance. They had witnessed more than enough of Jiraiya’s antics to recognize the depth of the trouble he had dug himself into.

Mi Blade, shaking his head with a sigh, silently wished Jiraiya well. He would need every bit of luck to survive the reckoning Kushina had planned for him.

As for Jiraiya, bruised and battered, he remained in the aftermath of Kushina's onslaught, wondering how he could possibly talk his way out of this mess—or if he'd even live to try.

It was during this tumultuous moment that Kushina discovered the shocking truth: Hatake Mi Blade was the creator of the infamous Harem Jutsu. Fueled by a mix of rage and indignation, she stormed toward his home, Minato and Jiraiya trailing behind her like reluctant shadows.

As they approached the modest house, Kushina's fury crackled in the air, a palpable force that made the leaves rustle nervously.

Her fists clenched at her sides, and the atmosphere grew tense, charged with her impending confrontation. Minato, though concerned for Mi Blade, was also acutely aware of the firestorm that was about to unfold.

Midlabe explains his side along with the ridiculous story telling cornering Jiraiya and when the pervy sage sensed the impending disaster, made a hasty decision.

With a rapid series of hand seals, he activated his Reverse Summoning Jutsu, hoping to escape the fury that was about to be unleashed. A dramatic puff of smoke enveloped him, and in an instant, he vanished from the scene.

But as the smoke cleared, Kushina's enraged roar echoed throughout Konoha, reverberating off the buildings and sending birds scattering from their perches.

Her voice, filled with outrage, could be heard in every corner of the village, leaving no doubt about her feelings toward the Harem Jutsu and to Jiraiya.

__________