Chapter 15 - The Golden Boys' Promotion

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Let’s be real here: Chunin and Genin are just fancy titles, like wearing a crown made of cardboard.

They don’t really mean much when it comes to actual strength. It’s not like slapping a Chunin badge on your forehead gives you superpowers or a cool cape—though can you imagine how awesome that would be?

To earn a high-ranking title, ninjas need to master at least two escape techniques because, let’s face it, you never know when you might need to make a hasty exit after blowing your cover at a ramen shop.

Or they must meet the Hokage’s very specific and completely arbitrary standards for promotion. Seriously, it’s like an episode of “Ninja Idol,” where they judge your performance based on whether or not you can do a backflip while reciting the Hokage’s favorite color.

Look at the Hokage and Sasuke: they took down Orochimaru, defeated tailed beasts, and sent Pain packing like he was a pesky delivery man. They earned their titles through some serious ninja work, while Mi Blade and Kakashi just waltzed in after a year of not dying and got promoted.

“Congratulations, you survived! Here’s your new badge!”

So in the ninja world, Chunin and Jonin are just titles—much like “Deputy Assistant to the Regional Manager.” They don’t actually tell you who’s stronger.

Just because someone has the title of Jonin doesn’t mean they can’t get knocked out by an especially angry Genin with a bad attitude. I mean, it’s all very bureaucratic—like corporate America, but with shurikens and more dramatic exits!

After Mi Blade finally wrapped his head around the confusing rules of ninja promotions, he had an epiphany that would make even a philosopher weep.

He remembered a doujin book he’d read in his past life that talked about the various power levels of special ninjas: half-step ninja power, special ninja strength, and whatever “half-step shadow level” was supposed to mean.

At the time, he thought it was the peak of imagination—until now, when he realized it just sounded like a bizarre ninja fan club where everyone wore matching hoodies.

“So, wait a minute,” Mi Blade asked, squinting suspiciously like he’d just been told the secret recipe to ramen.

“We can just become Chunin without any tests or anything? Like a ninja fast track? This isn’t some kind of ninja scam, is it?” Sarutobi Hiruzen chuckled, his eyes twinkling like he’d just uncovered the world’s biggest secret.

“Of course! We’ve all seen your, ahem, impressive performance. You’ve managed not to set anything on fire… for the most part.”

“Thank you, Hokage-sama!” Mi Blade exclaimed, grinning wider than a ninja with a fresh batch of dango. He felt like he just won the ninja lottery, and the prize was a lifetime supply of snacks.

“Just remember,” Sarutobi added with a wink that could rival a mischievous cat, “with great power comes great responsibility… and possibly a mountain of paperwork. So, good luck with that!”

As Mi Blade and Kakashi strutted out of the Hokage's office, they felt like they had just pulled off the ultimate ninja heist—no exams, no sweat, just pure, unfiltered luck. It was like winning a free pass to the ninja theme park without even having to stand in line!

Once outside, they snagged their documents and Chunin vests, proudly flaunting their shiny new certificates that practically screamed, "Look at us, we’re ninjas now!"

“Look, Kakashi! We’re officially ninjas!” Mi Blade exclaimed, bouncing around the Hokage's office like a hyperactive squirrel who’d just chugged ten cups of instant ramen. His enthusiasm was contagious.

Sarutobi Hiruzen watched the spectacle with a smile, thinking, What good kids! He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia for the days when he, too, had that much energy—back before he started drinking tea by the gallon to cope with all the paperwork.

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“Okay, calm down, you two! Let’s go home. Senior Sakumo has a feast prepared for you,” Sarutobi announced, his voice booming like a grandfather trying to quiet down a couple of overexcited children.

“Food? Count us in!” Mi Blade and Kakashi cheered in unison, practically tripping over each other in their eagerness to bolt from the building. If there was one thing that could rival their excitement about becoming Chunin, it was the promise of a glorious feast.

“Just try to keep it together until we get home, alright?” Orochimaru said, shaking his head as he led the charge.

Mi Blade was off like a rocket, narrating their missions with the flair of a reality TV star, complete with over-the-top reenactments that involved wild hand gestures and dramatic pauses. “And then there was this time I totally saved the day, and it was epic!”

Once they reached the alley behind the Hatake house, Orochimaru finally turned to Mi Blade, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“Alright, no more Anbu around. You can drop the act.”

With that, the façade fell away, and Mi Blade stood there with a goofy grin, hands on his hips like a hero striking a pose. “What act? This is just me being fabulously ninja!”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “Yeah, right. You’re like a walking advertisement for ‘Excitement: Now in Chunin Flavor.’”

As they headed home, the air filled with the tantalizing scent of food, and the reality of being ninjas set in. They were officially part of the ninja world, with all the chaos and culinary delights that came with it.

Mi Blade let out a long sigh of relief, starting to calm down from the whirlwind of emotions, but Kakashi was still on high alert, scanning their surroundings like a ninja version of a security guard. Something was definitely off, and his instincts were buzzing like an alarm clock on a Monday morning.

“Why were you acting so goofy back there?” he asked, raising an eyebrow like he was trying to get a read on an untrustworthy ninja.

Mi Blade shrugged, his exuberance starting to fade.

“I mean, look at us! We just got promoted to Chunin at six! It’s not every day you get to wear a vest that screams ‘I’m a big deal!’” He struck a pose, hands on his hips, clearly imagining himself on a magazine cover titled "Ninja Monthly."

“Yeah, but I thought you’d be a little more… you know, cool about it?” Kakashi replied, glancing around to ensure their awkward celebration wasn't being recorded for a ninja blooper reel.

“Listen, Kakashi, I’m trying to play it cool, but this is like being the last bird to take flight—you’re soaring above the clouds and I’m down here flapping around like a confused chicken!” Mi Blade huffed dramatically, throwing his hands in the air for effect. Orochimaru chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter.

“You both have to remember, while it’s great to be Chunin, it also puts you in the spotlight. Think of it as a ninja reality show—you’re the stars now!” He gestured grandly, as if announcing the arrival of a new season of “Keeping Up with the Kunai.”

Mi Blade rolled his eyes with theatrical flair.

“Great, so we’re just one bad episode away from being canceled? Perfect!” He threw his head back in exaggerated despair, clearly envisioning their inevitable downfall.

“Exactly! Just remember to keep your cool, or you’ll end up as a punchline,” Orochimaru said, giving Mi Blade a friendly pat on the back that felt more like a ninja hug than a threat.

“But don’t worry, with me around, Konoha won’t lay a finger on you!”

Mi Blade and Kakashi exchanged glances, their expressions morphing into synchronized seriousness that would make a comedic duo proud.

“Thanks, Master Orochimaru. It’s nice to have you around... to distract from our impending doom,” they chimed in unison, trying to keep straight faces but failing miserably.

“Let’s go home before I change my mind about feeding you,” Orochimaru replied, shaking his head with a smirk as he led the way, while Mi Blade and Kakashi followed, still debating who would finish the last piece of food first.

“Game on!” they shouted in unison, sprinting after him like a pair of hungry ninjas on a mission, ready to devour whatever feast awaited them.

Their laughter echoed through the alley as they dashed toward home, their new Chunin titles buzzing with excitement and a side of friendly rivalry.

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When Mi Blade and Kakashi finally staggered through the door, their jaws dropped at the sight before them.

Sakumo Hatake had truly outdone himself—his culinary skills could rival a ninja buffet fit for royalty! The entire house was a feast that smelled so good, it could’ve lured even the most hardened ninja from the shadows.

The savory aroma of grilled meat and steaming dumplings wafted through the air, making their stomachs growl louder than a tailed beast with a serious case of the munchies.

“Dad!” Mi Blade and Kakashi shouted in perfect harmony, flinging their bags aside as if they weighed nothing and dashing toward Sakumo like a pair of overenthusiastic puppies.

Sakumo greeted them with a bear hug that could only be described as an Olympic-level squeeze. Tears of joy sparkled in his eyes like a ninja's shuriken caught in the sunlight.

“Look at my boys! You’ve made me so proud!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking dramatically like he was the star of a soap opera in a particularly emotional episode.

Kakashi, usually the stoic type with the emotional range of a stone, had tears streaming down his face, turning him into a tragic hero in a ninja drama.

“I-I missed you, Dad!”

he stuttered, sounding more like a kid who just dropped his ice cream cone than a trained ninja who had faced countless foes.

Mi Blade, on the other hand, had only tiny tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, giving him the appearance of a chibi character caught in a moment of melodrama.

“I didn’t drink the Meng Po soup!” he thought dramatically, as if he were in the midst of a superhero origin story mixed with a family drama. Memories of his past life flickered through his mind like a ninja's highlight reel, each moment more ridiculous than the last.

What is the difference between crossing over with memories and reincarnating without them? he wondered.

“Is this what it feels like to be a stepfather? Do I have to bring him a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug now?” He scratched his head, pondering if his new dad was just an NPC in this bizarre game called life, programmed to make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Are we related? Can I still claim a share of the ramen if I think of him as family?” Mi Blade mused, contemplating the logistics of ninja family dynamics.

Then it hit him: even if he had memories from his past life, it didn’t change the fact that this guy was risking everything to protect him from getting caught in the rain or burnt out by crazy missions.

“Okay, I’ll bury my past feelings and fully accept the affection of this man in my new life,” he decided, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand like a ninja who had just finished a particularly emotional battle.

“But if he tries to make me do chores, we’re having a serious talk!”

With that resolve, he sniffed away the last remnants of his tears and bounced back into the kitchen, ready to tackle the feast that awaited them.

“Now, what’s for dinner?” Mi Blade asked, his stomach growling like a wild beast that had just spotted a buffet after a long, desert trek.

Sakumo chuckled, “Grilled meat, dumplings, and a little something I like to call ‘Dad’s Secret Sauce!’”

“Let’s eat! I’m starving!” Mi Blade yelled, charging toward the table like a ninja on a mission—complete with dramatic sound effects—while Kakashi followed, still dabbing at his eyes like he’d just watched a particularly heart-wrenching episode of “Ninja Family Drama.”

As they plopped down to eat, Mi Blade thought, Maybe this family thing isn’t so bad after all—as long as there’s food involved!