Chapter 42 - To Kumogakure

______________________

“You can learn that later! C’mon, let’s go for a walk!” Mi Blade urged, his voice dripping with enthusiasm like a kid begging for ice cream.

After enough pleading—complete with puppy-dog eyes and dramatic sighs—Naka reluctantly agreed. The two trotted over to bid farewell to Tsunade.

“Tsunade-sama, Naka and I won’t trouble you anymore. We’ll continue our journey!” Mi Blade announced, trying to sound as polite as a ninja could while secretly buzzing with excitement.

Tsunade glanced at him, her expression somewhere between suspicion and amusement.

“Mhm, sure. Travel safely… and don’t get yourself killed.”

With that, Mi Blade grabbed Naka’s hand, feeling victorious. Finally! Time for a peaceful journey away from awkward hot springs and emotional Hokage drama!

But Tsunade wasn’t done yet. She raised an eyebrow, eyeing them like a hawk watching its prey.

"Wait, why are you traveling now? Do you even have money?"

Mi Blade flashed a sheepish grin that could have melted ice.

“Uh, well, I have some ‘private savings’ tucked away, so... we’ll be fine if we, you know, avoid any major shopping sprees.”

Tsunade nodded slowly, her skepticism palpable. “Hmm, alright... but where exactly are you going?”

Mi Blade straightened up, puffing out his chest like he was about to give a speech at the village assembly.

“First stop: the Land of Thunder! After that, we’ll swing by Taki to see the sights, head west to the Land of Grass, then north to the Land of Earth. After that, we’ll pass through the Land of Wind, go straight into the Land of Rain to see the legendary battlefield of the Sannin. And finally, we’ll take a boat to the mysterious Land of Water before returning to Konoha!”

Tsunade blinked, a hint of genuine surprise on her face.

"Wow, you actually put some thought into this. I’m impressed!”

Mi Blade beamed, like a child who just solved a complicated math problem.

“Well, I did want to see the Five Great Nations, but... I’m skipping the Land of Wind. My old man kinda... wrecked them. No need to add more salt to the wound.”

He chuckled, recalling how his father, Hatake Sakumo, had basically turned the Sand Village into a disaster zone back in the day. If they had a "Most Likely to Create a Natural Disaster" award, his dad would’ve won it hands down.

“Let’s just say,” Mi Blade continued, “the Sand Village owes my dad a few renovations. They probably still have ‘No Hatake Allowed’ signs up.”

With that thought, he and Naka shared a laugh, their spirits high as they embarked on what they hoped would be a journey filled with adventure, not disaster.

Three days and three nights of slashing and hacking with his short sword, Mi Blade had become such a menace that the Sand Ninja were more terrified of him than a surprise pop quiz.

Even the top brass—Granny Chiyo’s son and son-in-law—got cut down like they were just pesky weeds in a garden, and he was wielding the world's worst weed whacker.

“Yeah, I’m definitely not going to the Land of Wind. That’s just asking for trouble. Like wearing white to a spaghetti dinner,” he thought.

Tsunade smirked, clearly finding the kid’s bluntness adorably amusing.

“Good choice. Seems like you did your homework. I’d recommend a study guide titled ‘How Not to Make Enemies.’”

Mi Blade laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Yeah, no point in making more enemies. Dad already did enough damage, so I’ll just steer clear of that whole mess.”

Tsunade grinned, clearly entertained by his antics.

“Well, looks like you’ve got your itinerary sorted, so I guess I can’t stop you now.”

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Mi Blade was practically bouncing with excitement. Finally! Freedom! Time to go on an adventure! No more awkward hot springs or emotional Hokage drama! But just as he was about to bolt—

“But…” Tsunade said, that sly grin spreading across her face like butter on toast, “I’ve been pretty bored around here too. I think I’ll tag along. Mind if I join you?”

Mi Blade’s heart sank faster than a rock in a pond. What? He stared at her like a deer caught in headlights, thinking, Dare I say no?!

“Uh, y-yeah! Of course! You’re... more than welcome!” he stammered, forcing a smile that felt more like a grimace.

Knowing such arrangement, Naka and Shizune were losing their minds in excitement. They started cheering and hugging like it was Christmas morning, complete with squeals that could probably summon a flock of birds.

Mi Blade just stood there, frozen, as the reality hit him like a rogue kunai. Great. There goes the dream of a quiet, romantic journey. Now it's like I’m stuck on a school field trip with the chaperone who’s also a legendary ninja!

With a sigh, he resigned himself to the fact that this journey was about to get a lot more interesting—and a lot more chaotic.

____________

The Land of Thunder, home to Kumogakure Village, one of the five great shinobi villages. It was like the heavyweight champion of the ninja world, known for its powerhouse Raikage and not one, but two pet tailed beasts—Matatabi (the Two-Tails) and Gyūki (the Eight-Tails).

Basically, they had a zoo filled with furry little critters that had serious anger management issues and were probably on the ninja equivalent of an emotional support animal list.

Meanwhile, Mi Blade was grappling with his own set of challenges—namely, the art of driving.

In a classic case of “Why not?” he’d decided to buy a cart for their road trip. Apparently, ninja tech included lights, cameras, and ninja flicks, but cars were a big ol' no-no. So there he was, the reluctant chauffeur of a makeshift ninja Uber.

They were cruising away from Yunokuni, the Land of Hot Water, with Mi Blade at the reins while Tsunade, Naka, and Shizune lounged in the cart like they were on some sort of royal parade.

Every now and then, bursts of laughter erupted from the back, and Mi Blade couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Great, he thought. This was supposed to be my bonding time with Naka, but instead, she’s bonding with the entire backseat. At least I make a fantastic cab driver.

The one silver lining? Tsunade wasn’t completely self-absorbed. No, she’d decided to sprinkle in some training tips for Naka while mentoring Shizune.

So while Naka was busy leveling up her ninja skills, Mi Blade was honing his talent for feeding the horse. An impressive achievement, no doubt.

As they neared the Land of Thunder, Mi Blade noticed something peculiar—the people looked... different.

Their skin tones were a stark contrast to the pale folks back in the Land of Fire, like someone had taken the “tan” slider on a video game and cranked it all the way up to max.

“Man, these people look like they just got back from a two-week beach vacation,” he muttered.

The terrain also screamed adventure, with rolling hills and rocky cliffs. He couldn’t shake the feeling that when Senju Hashirama was divvying up the land, he might’ve snagged all the prime beachfront property for himself.

“What a move,” Mi Blade remarked under his breath, “taking all the good spots while the rest of us are stuck with the leftovers.”

And speaking of leftovers, the people of Kumogakure were built differently. They were loud, physical, and strong—like a village full of bouncers ready to throw down at the slightest provocation.

Thanks to the Second Raikage, their combat skills blended ninja techniques with what could only be described as a wrestling match on steroids.

Forget stealth; these ninjas were more about power slams and body slams, and Mi Blade was beginning to wonder if he needed to upgrade his cart to a battle wagon just to keep up.

But none of this helped Mi Blade’s current predicament. The sky was darkening faster than a ninja dodging a bad reputation, and they still hadn’t found a place to crash for the night.

He groaned, peering back at the cart like it held the answers to the universe. "Tsunade-sama!" he called out, his voice dripping with barely concealed frustration.

"Looks like we’re camping outside tonight."

From inside the cart came Tsunade’s voice, tinged with impatience and a sprinkle of sass.

“Great! Guess who’s on guard duty, again?”

Mi Blade sighed dramatically. 'Of course, it’s me. She might as well have just said, Congratulations, you’re now officially on babysitting duty while we catch some Z’s.'

But wait, it got worse. After that little gem of news, Tsunade tossed him a pack of beef jerky and a bottle of water. Wow, gourmet dining for one, he thought sarcastically, eyeing his “five-star” meal.

He hopped off the cart, grumbling under his breath like a petulant child. He unloaded the horse with all the enthusiasm of a kid cleaning their room and set up camp, muttering curses against the gods of bad luck.

Once the fire was lit, he plopped down by himself, gnawing on the jerky like it was the last morsel on Earth, watching the flames dance like they were auditioning for a drama troupe.

How did my life turn into this weird combination of babysitting, Uber driving, and rugged camping? Where did I go wrong?

Meanwhile, inside the cart, Tsunade was conducting an intense training session with Shizune and Naka, tossing around ninjutsu tips like they were candy at a festival.

Mi Blade sulked by the fire, feeling like the only kid left out of a playground game.

Over the past few days, Naka had started talking to him less and less, as if he had somehow become the unfunny punchline of their road trip.

Great, even my own girlfriend doesn’t want to chat with me anymore. Next thing you know, they'll probably make me the horse's full-time caregiver.

As he sat there wallowing in self-pity, a rustling noise caught both his and Tsunade’s attention. Something—or someone—was approaching.

Entering the Land of Thunder was definitely not like strolling into the Land of Hot Springs, where relaxation reigned supreme.

Nope, here? It was more like stepping into a gym where everyone was on the lookout for a sparring partner and flexing their muscles like it was a competition.

The people of Kumogakure took their martial prowess as seriously as a chef takes their knives. Foreign ninjas were treated with about as much trust as a cat in a room full of laser pointers.

Even though Konohagakure and Kumogakure hadn’t exactly been trading punches during the Second Ninja War, one could never be too careful.

And while Tsunade and Mi Blade weren’t the types to sweat the small stuff (like, you know, a ninja ambush), having Shizune and Naka with them—who had about as much combat experience as a couple of houseplants—made them a bit more cautious.

So there they were, a ragtag group preparing for the worst, while Mi Blade pondered his life choices and the probability of ending up as a hero in a comedy show instead of a real adventure.

The rustling grew louder, creeping closer until it felt like whoever—or whatever—was lurking out there was practically breathing down their necks. Mi Blade glanced around, his senses tingling like a ninja with a caffeine rush.

"This could be it," he muttered dramatically, channeling every action movie hero he’d ever seen.

Then, as if on cue, a voice sliced through the night air like a butter knife through a cold stick of margarine.

"Ah, people! And I smell meat—beef, if I’m not mistaken!"

The voice didn’t exactly scream danger; instead, it sounded... oddly cheerful. There was a certain musicality to it, like the guy had missed his true calling as a lounge singer who specialized in karaoke ballads.

Tsunade and the others blinked in confusion, exchanging glances that practically screamed, Is this a setup for a bad joke? If this was an enemy, he was the worst ninja in history.

The voice continued, "Yes, yes! And ladies, too! Lovely! Mind if I join you by the fire? It's been a long day!"

And then, out of the shadows came... a guy. Not just any guy—a tall, middle-aged man with a perfectly square beard that looked like it could double as a table for two.

He sported sunglasses at midnight like he was some kind of nocturnal rock star and was dressed as if he had just stepped off the set of a spaghetti western, complete with a cowboy hat that probably had its own fan club.

Mi Blade nearly choked on his beef jerky at the sight.

The group sighed in relief, but wariness hung in the air like an awkward silence at a family reunion. Sure, the guy looked harmless, but here he was, strolling through the wilderness at night like he was late for a rodeo.

Mi Blade leaned toward Tsunade and whispered, “You think he’s lost?”

Tsunade shook her head slowly, her eyes narrowing. “Nope. He’s exactly where he wants to be. And that’s what worries me.”

The man sauntered over, beaming like he just won the lottery.

"So, what's for dinner? Hope it's not awkward silence and side-eye, because that's what I’ve been served all week."

With that, the atmosphere went from tense to downright bizarre. It was like a surreal reality show, and Mi Blade couldn't help but think they’d just signed up for a season filled with quirky characters and questionable life choices.