CHAPTER 296

The city of Canalave wasn’t actually on an island, even if it did feel like it sometimes. The way Sinnoh itself was arranged had made the concept of building a land route to the city a long-winded and dangerous affair even if there used to be a few projects about clearing a path through the densely forested coastal area that hugged the bay splitting Canalave and Jubilife. It wasn’t so much impossible, just that it lacked political capital and motivation, especially when the ferry over the gulf worked just as well and was far faster for trainers and civilians to take. I’d have taken it too so I could ingest the sights, had I not been in a hurry. The world around me blurred as Princess flew above the water at cruising speed, which these days bordered on the uncomfortable with how fast she was. Buying a saddle with a backrest was definitely a necessary endeavor that I would need to address at some point, but one for a Pokemon of Princess’ size would probably need to be custom-made and take time.

Route 218 itself was beautiful, especially on a clear day like this, but it was nothing I’d never seen before. It was easy to discern the rocks protruding from the shallow, calm waters, which the ferries below so easily avoided these days. Birds like Spearow had made those their home, nesting in the craggy cliffs, high and away from any small-time predators lurking in the sea. There were a few islands strewn throughout inhabited by populations of local water types, like Psyduck, Marill, Shellos and Buizel. Off towards the north and to my right, I could see the gulf closing into a narrow passage until it gave way to the ocean. As for the two land sides of the route, they were well-maintained thanks to their proximities to their cities, though I had to admit, coming up on the shores of the final stretch to Canalave, theirs were far better-looking than the dirty piers flanking Jubilife that Denzel had caught his Milotic in. There was even a mini-town built around it with tourist shops that sold souvenirs from Canalave, no doubt. Seafood restaurants, nature trails, battling arenas… it reminded me of the Ranger outposts in a way, just way less militaristic and serious. We weren’t planning on sticking around for long anyway.

I lowered myself to Princess’ ear and asked her to land for a little pitstop near one of the piers. She settled on a stretch of beach that had countless dark pebbles instead of sand and I knew it would make walking a horrible experience, and unfortunately these went on for miles. I was not about to worsen the condition of my ankle, so I just transferred from her back to Angel’s instead.

There were plenty of trainers here, given that this was near where the ferry stopped. They were mostly people with their feet in the ocean and training their water types to better utilize the water— the baby steps of TE manipulation. Some were just battling, using the unfamiliar footing as a handicap for their Pokemon as a fun challenge or a way to train. From the way I noticed a girl’s Stunky trip and hit his face on a rock while battling a boy’s Sneasel, they were having mixed successes.

Claydol popped out of their Pokeball with a hiss, hovering closeby and greeting me in their usual monotone voice as they asked how they could be of assistance, and I placed my wrist on my lap so that Mimi could get a good look at the ocean. I asked Angel to use his vines to hide me, and therefore Meltan away from public view, and the grass type brought up countless writhing vines around us.

“Go ahead,” I whispered.

The sea was washing against the pebbles with a soothing and rhythmic swishing. Mimi returned to their original form on Angel’s head in between my lap, and their eye wobbled in wonder as they silently stared at the vast expanse of the sea. They’d refused to look down when flying on Princess because they hadn’t wanted to spoil the moment, or at least that’s what I got from them. When Mimi saw something for the first time, they wanted to experience it in full, and by the Legendaries, they did. It was like the foaming water had mesmerized them. Even I’d never seen the steel type so still and calm.

“Shame it’s not a sunset,” I muttered.

Angel signed in agreement while Princess idly started to mold a pebble into different shapes. She’d already solved the puzzle Dad had given her, and her mind was never without stimulation for long.

“Claydol, what do you think?” I asked.

The ground type chimed, these bodies of water are commonly referred to as a bay. I have never seen such a large amount of it before.

“Makes you think about how big the world is, doesn’t it?”

Affirmative. I acknowledge your intent, and it is within my designated function to facilitate the aspirations of travel for you and your court, as mandated by my duty as a Royal Guard.

I frowned. “Hey, let’s get back to what you said before. The fact that you’d never seen such a large amount of water in one place.”

If I wanted Claydol to grow from the robot they seemed to want to stay as, I needed to hone in on bits of individuality that sometimes shone through. That included them recalling memories in a natural way and without me pushing that first bud of individual thought.

Claydol’s six eyes did not move. Affirmative, they chimed.

“Did you like it? Walking… or uh, floating by that lake in the castle’s gardens? Before you were shoved into the catacombs, of course.”

I must confess, my King, that the meaning of 'like' eludes my understanding, Claydol said with the ‘sad’ option of what I assumed these days was an extremely versatile soundboard. Despite perusing numerous definitions after surfacing, comprehension remains elusive. I extend my deepest apologies for failing to meet your expectations and am deserving of the gravest punishment imaginable.

“No!” I nearly threw my hands up, but groaned instead. “There’s no ‘punishment’ here, Claydol, you can speak your mind. This was helpful.”

Helpful?

I shrugged, leaning back against a couple of vines. “Yeah! It’s like, we’re making progress.” The ground type stayed still, waiting for me to continue. “I guess I can’t really do better than the books to explain what liking something is. When I eat good food, for example, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.”

Angel chimed in, signing that he was excited and couldn’t sit still beforehand and during the meal.

“You like eating anything. Never seen anyone else eat banana peels and bones,” I smiled, patting him on the head. “Princess?”

The fairy type shifted a wing, saying that there was satisfaction in liking. Like when she worked on a sculpture for a few hours and finished it or completed one of her flights. Satisfaction in sleeping in and cuddling with us, for example. Granted, she felt excitement too, and so did I, but I guessed that this was what she identified with the most. Toiling endlessly toward a goal that would take much time to reach.

“We all feel different stuff depending on what we’re doing, but I’d put ‘like’ under a spectrum,” I said. “Even when I look at what the emotion is with my empathy, it’s not just one color, it’s a whole range of feelings that ends up feeling good.”

Updating memory banks. Many thanks, my King. I shall incorporate this information into my data stores to fulfill your directives effectively.

“Think you can give that a little thought for me?” I asked. “We can keep talking about it later. What it means to like something.”

I will try, they said.

“That’s all I asked. And hey, if you ever start liking something… honestly, remember what you said about hats when we were at the League? With Cecilia’s Hydreigon?”

Query: conversation about hats retrieved— Claydol paused, and there was a slight click somewhere inside of their head, and then I heard my voice. "Actually, Claydol, Angel, what do you think about putting hats on Zolst?"

Gasping, I nearly fell off Angel, who kept me steady with a vine. “You can do that?!”

Only when you ask, Claydol answered. And audible data from too far back must be deleted, or it will start corrupting. Everything near me is recorded and stored in my memory banks, my King.

“Arceus… that—” Terrified me, I left unsaid. There was no use making Claydol worry anymore than they had when they’d asked for punishment. “So yeah! Hats! You sounded pretty happy when you talked about those, so give that some thought too, and if you want I’ll get you some.”

Acknowledged.

I released the rest of the team now that quiet was no longer needed, and Sweetheart made a beeline toward the water, crushing countless pebbles under her weight, shadowed closely by Buddy, who kept an eye on her. Eyes turned toward the massive Tyranitar, with her screaming in excitement, though most people pulled out their phones to record her instead of being scared, thank the Legendaries. Already, I couldn’t release her in most places in cities, and I didn’t want to have to take routes in consideration. She already knew not to train Surf in places where people could see, and I was confident it was basically ready for battle.

Sunshine perked up at the sight of a beach, with memories of Alola coming to the forefront of his mind even if he asked what the hell all of these pebbles were, after which Princess promptly knocked a cube toward his forehead that Honey caught with his good fist. He injected a bit of electricity in it before Togekiss could blink and threw it back at her.

Then, she started whining and fake-crying at me while Sunshine thanked Electivire for the help, but that was before the electric type clapped him on the shoulder and jolted him too.

Yeah, this place was nice.

“Don’t throw stones next time,” I softly told Princess as Mimi stood bedazzled between my lap.

We were going to stay here for a few hours

——

Canalave was bigger than I thought it’d be.

Seriously, every time I saw that place on television or online, they showed the same spot. The Bridge, or that and its surroundings. While Cecilia no doubt loved that, it gave an image of the entire city being concentrated around its central canal, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Hell, even the times I’d video-chatted her, she had been close to or on the bridge. Canalave was not a place I’d call dense, with only a few skyscrapers on the western side of the canal, but the city sprawled so far out it was sometimes difficult to believe. Sure, Pastoria was huge too, but it had plenty of wild spaces and had more of a suburban vibe, and for Jubilife, Hearthome and Veilstone, well, they were the most populated cities in Sinnoh, so it was something I’d expected.

But Canalave spread far and wide, hugging the crescent coast and spreading far further in land than I could ever imagine. Louis would no doubt call this a non-efficient use of space, and honestly I was inclined to agree. Most buildings looked to be five stories at most, and there were very few apartment complexes to be seen.

Still, it was easy to see that the city had sprung up from the coast, with the architecture growing more and more modern the further you got from it as a rule of thumb. The Canalavians had started off as seafarers who had been embroiled in conflict with the Iron Islands for centuries until they finally conquered them due to some kind of internal strife leaving them vulnerable, and that was before Sinnoh had even been united. Those history books I’d read with Jellicent were boring sometimes, but context like this was nice, whenever I reached a new city. Maybe I’d get a book about Unova before we went. I was sure he’d enjoy it.

Speaking of books, Princess swept over the Canalave Library, which was a grand building in every sense of the word. It stood above all structures surrounding it and was hugged by a lush garden reminding me of Backlot’s mansion, with the Milotic-shaped fountains and the well-maintained edges. Chairs and tables had been laid on the outside where people and Pokemon could take books to read and enjoy the sunlight or under the shade of a parasol. The building itself looked nothing like a mansion and went for a more utilitarian look, though it was still beautiful. The roof was made of twisting glass, letting sunlight filter into the top floor, and I could see it was organized with a hole surrounded by a rail in the middle to let it drop down the entire building. The walls were harder to spot at this speed, though I could tell they were made of some kind of faded turquoise-gray brick. It was too late to keep dawdling, and Togekiss zoomed past the library toward the Center closest to the Gym.

“I think I’m getting better at spotting things from up here,” I boasted, something that Princess heartily agreed with.

I shivered when seeing the Gym off in the distance, in all of its glory and sharp angles that had me thinking it was the best-looking stadium I’d ever seen. The excitement was tempered rather quickly as we landed and the weight of the situation sank in. The group was… well, the news of the coming events, our work for the League and our powers had broken Louis and shaken Justin. Chase was isolated and no one knew where he was until he sometimes showed up in the city, but if I was to guess he was training somewhere off-route. His ACEs were there, I was certain they’d jump in before Ariel had for me, especially with time running out so soon.

Plus, even Denzel wasn’t doing that hot, from what he’d texted me, even if he put on an air of cheerfulness for the others.

There were whispers of Mount Coronet when I entered the Center, its warm golden lights brushing against my skin. The excuse the League had given for the mountain’s closure was a breach of powerful Pokemon into the lower floors, the running theory behind the reason for this breach being escape from ‘something’ even stronger.

It was all a hoax, obviously, and people had already eroded so much trust in the League for their actions this past year that a very sizable number of them just didn’t believe it.

Not that it mattered. They just voiced their discontentment online, and I had an inkling many Conference regulars were angry their training area had been closed down. Craig himself had said he’d opt for Victory Road to replace the mountain for the final stretch.

Honestly, focusing on all of this stuff was hard with the axe that was Team Galactic hanging over my neck. Without them I’d be focusing on the Conference, looking at what items to buy, researching the other first-years that’d make it outside my group and maybe even some of the older trainers that were confirmed to have eight badges already. Training and studying 24/7 with only my love for this sport to keep me awake, and that would have been while finishing up with Byron.

I just… didn’t have the energy for all of that. It was difficult enough to focus on the eighth badge already. Cecilia had said she just wanted it all over with, which honestly kind of terrified me. She was tired of waiting.

I got myself a room from a spry-looking Nurse Joy who was nice enough to put me on the second floor before texting the others about my arrival. The three of them were, as expected, all at the Center. I tried to distract myself by timing exactly when the elevator would arrive. It was just idle thought, really. A way for me to stop myself from getting nervous. The ride to the fourth floor was cramped and uncomfortable. I was pressed into a corner and wished I could have had Buddy with me to scare all of these people away.

Not that it would have been warranted. The coming conversation was just making it hard to breathe, and the crowded elevator wasn’t helping.

Smile, I thought as I got off. Smile for them and everything will be okay. Hadn’t Barry said that he could trick himself into a cheerful mood by just smiling all the time? Well I wouldn’t mind trying, at least. Denzel’s room basically faced the elevators, and I walked up to it with a spring in my step— as much of a spring as I could put in it. I cleared my throat, knocked, and waited for someone to open the door.

It was Denzel, of course. Tall, somewhat broad-shouldered, with messy light brown hair and smiling just as I was. I saw through him right away. He was worried, but honestly who the hell wasn’t? He clapped my shoulder and then hugged me without hesitation, something that I instantly returned.

“I missed you,” I sighed.

“Me too. Travel okay?”

“Oh yeah, I had a lot of fun. Stopped by the beach with my team and everything,” I said. “Plus, the entire trip only took a few hours. Princess is getting faster.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Eh, the two cities aren’t that far apart,” he smirked.

I pinched the side of his arm, and he yelped. “It was either that or a spear through the gut, sorry.”

“I’d take a spear to rob you from the satisfaction of pinching me.”

Ah, this was nice. Great, even. Not that my entire demeanor had changed, but this familiarity was welcome. From the bed, Sylveon hopped down, skipping across the room until he wrapped a ribbon around my wrist— and flinched away when he touched the metal there. Mimi ran away, slithering up my sleeve with a frigid touch until they reformed into a necklace.

I crouched. “Good to see you too, Sylvi. Sorry about Mimi, they’re a little shy.”

“Damn… I guess that’s what’s up with the jewelry you’ve been wearing.”

I rubbed Sylveon’s neck and ignored the fact that he was currently wrapping me like a present. With Tangrowth around, I was already used to it. “Keep it a secret? I’ve already passed a Gardevoir on the streets in Jubilife and she stared daggers at them. Can’t really keep them hidden from empaths.”

“Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know what she’s looking at though,” Denzel shrugged. “Can I see her?”

“Them. And yeah! Mimi, you can come out.”

For a while, Denzel tried to get to know the steel type a little bit, but Mimi wasn’t really having any of it. Maybe it was because he was so large and imposing? Either way, we had a good laugh about it and it’d make good material to tease him about later.

“So,” I said, sitting on the bed. “How’re you holding up? I thought the others would be in your room?”

Denzel grimaced and tried catching himself but failed horribly. “Louis’ sleep schedule is fucked, and he’s already asleep. Stuck around until he did. Justin is in his room, and I wanted to go see him, it’s just that… you know, I—”

“I get it. Alone time.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

He was worried about the coming battles ahead and Emi and Pauline, but I didn’t know if it was more because of how he’d screwed up with them or if it was because they’d be arriving in two days via airplane. His fist was clenched beside his bouncing leg, but he seemingly caught himself when he figured I kept glancing and crossed his arms.

“But you’re doing okay?” I asked.

“Yeah! I mean, it’s only been a little bit, but I’m holding down the fort. I announced a two-week break from streaming, the ‘official’ reason being preparing for my rematch against Byron, so I’m just trying to be there for everyone.”

Not that we even had two weeks anyway, but I figured a clean number like that was a little less weird.

I smiled. “Thank you for that.”

“So yeah, I was gonna head out in like an hour or two. Not going to lie, I thought I’d have enough time to take a nap.”

“So I did surprise you with my speed.”

“I mean, you’re no Talonflame…”

I rolled my eyes. “That comparison seems unfair. Right, Sylveon?”

The fairy type blinked, but then agreed with me after a moment’s hesitation.

I huffed. “Told ya.”

His smile widened, though he didn’t tell me why and instead just glanced Sylveon’s way. For a few minutes, we spoke about my merch and I showed him the designs, and Mimi made a mortal enemy of Sylveon, practically speaking, by attempting to gnaw one of his ribbons. The fairy type had hissed at them, asking them never to do that again and might have thrown in a few threats in-between those boundaries. I had no idea what had intrigued them so much. Maybe it was how they resembled Angel’s vines in the way they moved, and the grass type had come up with a game where Mimi would try to dissolve or cut his vines. They were a baby, after all. I talked to him more in-depth about my travels and Claydol, about how much better my mental health got these past weeks, and he talked to me about his issues too.

“You know… I kind of don’t understand why Emi got mad, and that scares me,” he muttered.

“I think it’s pretty simple. She wants you to treat her like an equal,” I explained.

“I mean, I do.”

“No. You treat her like someone who needs to be protected from all of the…” I paused. “All of the ugly of the world. It’s like you want to put her in a box and say ‘here, play with your contests and your other shit that doesn’t matter, and I’ll take care of everything for you and Pauline.’ Not that I’m any better.”

“Huh.” His lips thinned, and he put his head against the wall. For around ten seconds, he stared in contemplation at the door. “Hey, Grace… you know, about the issues with my mother?”

I looked up at him, knowing where this was going. “Yeah?”

“How I’d get angry at her for wanting to control my life, for stopping me from going on a journey,” he exhaled. “I think I— became like her somehow? I mean, maybe I’m just seeing things, it’s just that— you know, one day, you look at yourself and you realize you’re more like your parents than you ever realized despite swearing never to become like them. I think today’s that day for me.”

Sylveon whined, telling him to chase away these thoughts.

“In your defense, there’s a lot more risk involved in this than a journey, even if ours wasn’t normal,” I said. “But yes. I think you might be right.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit.”

“Sometimes I think back to Cece and Scizor and I wonder if she started training him that way because that’s the only way she’d ever known,” I whispered. “Parents are parents for a reason. I think that you always get a part of them, the good and the bad.” My fingers drummed against my thigh as I desperately looked for words to say. “And look, it’s easy to be overbearing about the people you love,” I tried. “I mean, we’re all complicit, at the end of the day.”

“But I reacted the worst. Hell, I’d be willing to bet that Emi respects Chase a lot more, because at least he just thinks she’s going to get in the way and he’s straight up about it. I’m just… a lot worse with my approach. Condescending, I guess?”

“Why don’t you text her and say what you told me? See where that gets you?”

“I mean, I can try.”

“Trying’s better than nothing.”

“Fair enough. Hope she answers, at least,” Denzel said.

“She will. And if she doesn’t, then maybe she’ll talk when they get here.”

If anything, they could at least mend their friendship. We conversed a little longer, mostly reminiscing, but at Denzel’s fifth yawn, I decided enough was enough.

“You know what, I’m gonna let you sleep.”

“Sorry. I guess I forgot to mention my sleep schedule is also fucked.” My friend stretched, groaning with each word.

“You’ve been working hard, just get some rest. We’ll do something tomorrow, the four of us.”

“Not gonna hole up in a room and study Byron?” he asked with a curious look.

“Well, that too, but there are twenty-four hours in a day,” I quickly added. “Plus, I’m almost done anyway, I’ve been going at this for almost a month.” I stood up from the bed, the ribbons around my arms unwrapping loosely. I placed a finger on the mattress and watched Mimi slither up to my wrist and form into a band of gold and silver, which Denzel apparently found very weird, from how he looked at me. “I’ll go check on Justin. You go and get some sleep.”

“Gotcha. Let me know if anything happens?”

I agreed, slipping out of the room. Justin’s wasn’t far, just one floor up and next to the stairs that I took to avoid having to wait for another crowded elevator. Pokemon Centers closer to the Gym were always full, even if Byron was now prioritizing challengers with high badges above all and getting a battle in as a trainer with just a few would take so long to schedule that most didn’t even bother. Most trainers were understanding enough about it, at least. Justin, I was more excited than nervous to see. He knew about my powers now, and I knew I could fix him, if given the chance.

We had a lot to talk about. My knuckle rasped against the door.

“Who is it?” The voice was calm, too calm. A reminder that he was still afflicted by the contamination despite how long it had been.

And it had been a long time, hadn’t it? Since Solaceon, Justin had been like this, and at this point I’d known him in this state just as long as I’d known him normally, and the fact that memories about who he’d been were starting to slowly become less clear hurt.

“Grace,” I answered.

There were quiet steps behind the door, almost inaudible, and Justin let me in. He hadn’t lost any weight, so that was a plus with how thin he had always been. He had high cheekbones, a triangle-shaped face, and a thin nose. His skin was pale like snow, and his dark brown eyes looked up at mine. His hair was well-kept, combed over and with a fade that told me he’d gotten a haircut a few days ago at most, and he had grown a little bit, being half a head taller. Whereas Denzel had been wearing shorts and a t-shirt— the old, ragged kind that you only wore at home, Justin was still dressed as if he was prepared to go outside. Maybe he’d been about to train?

“Hug?” I tried as soon as the door closed.

“If you want.”

I smiled, wrapping my hands around him and the coarse fabric of his polo shirt. “I’ll indulge, then. How’re you doing?”

“Terrible. It’s a good thing you’re here and that the others will soon be arriving, seeing as Denzel and Louis are hanging by a thread. Cecilia and Maeve being here as well would have been ideal, but it is what it is.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“What is there to talk about?” he asked. “I’ve learned about terrifying news, and now I have to live with them. I’ll manage.”

If I had to guess, the feelings or terror had subsided enough today not to show. They were still there, but my personal theory was that what was hampering Justin wasn’t actually smothering all of his emotions. He’d shown them a few times. During the battle with Louis, where his Corviknight had almost died, and even before they’d organized that battle, Louis had managed to push his buttons with the right words, or at least that’s what he’d said. When he had learned Maeve had nearly died in that attack in the Safari Zone from that girl whose name wasn’t even worth remembering and who I hoped was having a wonderful time in rotting in prison, or when he had won his badge against Crasher Wake. What I believed was that only strong feelings managed to slip through, and what he felt towards the news of the world possibly ending was no longer strong enough to make it through like it had a few hours before I’d gotten here.

“Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here,” I said. “Sorry about hiding it.”

“Honestly speaking, I’d rather you’d kept it hidden,” Justin shrugged. “But you finally letting us know what you’ve been carrying all these months is a sign of trust, and that’s good, I think.”

When he said ‘I think’, he was being literal.

“You okay if we hang out somewhere while the other two sleep?” I asked.

“If you want,” he blankly answered, his hands unmoving. It was still strange, how still he was. There was literally no body language at play here, just words, and you never realized how much part of human communication was built into subtle movements and microexpressions until you saw someone without those.

“Great! Let’s go out for dinner later, I’ll take you out to someplace fancy,” I said. “Know any Canalave restaurants?”

“Not really. I’ve been eating at the cafeteria.”

“We’ll look it up!” I said. “And hey, I’ll make it worth your while. Remember, you used to be my student. I can help you out with battle tips, if you want, or help you workshop new moves or tactics.” I raised both of my hands and quickly added, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to backseat you anymore, you’re too good for that. We can just bounce ideas off each other, yeah? Maybe I can get some inspiration.”

He nodded, not reluctantly or with excitement, but I hoped he was more agreeable now that I’d given him something he wanted.

“Can I cut straight to the chase? You know about the… empathy powers, right?”

His eyes opened a smidge wider. “I wondered when you were going to bring that up.”

“So you’ve already thought about it. Good.” I stopped, thinking that he’d say something, but instead all I got was an awkward silence. Ouch. “You know, I have it on good authority that I could fix you if given enough time and understanding of what I’m capable of.”

“Good authority?” he asked.

“Mesprit.”

“Hm. That is indeed probably the best authority to listen to about your capabilities, yes,” he nodded.

“You didn’t want to be fixed, the last couple of times we asked.”

The latest had been shortly before I left for Sunyshore, where he’d said that being like this made him work harder and for longer. I truly thought Justin believed that without the darkness swamping his body, he’d have stalled out way earlier. Personally, I wasn’t sure I believed that, but maybe him striking out on his own had fostered growth and allowed him to better bond with his team. I didn’t know them that well, these days, so I couldn’t exactly tell. Even Arcanine, Ludicolo, Audino and Krookodile, whom I’d known the longest, had changed beyond what I’d expected, and Toxapex and Corviknight weren’t even in the picture. Still, for all of his trouble, Justin was close to his Pokemon and a good trainer. One had to be, to get six badges in their first year or to be competent in any way. There was a reason trainers couldn’t just buy some Garchomp and steamroll through the Circuit. Why even wastes of oxygen like Abel or Saturn seemed to care for their teams, and vice versa.

The bond between trainer and Pokemon was the primary driver of progress, in the end. Not the only one, but if I had to bet between an eight-badger who had an awful relationship with their team (honestly, I doubted reaching that level with that kind of relationship was possible, though stranger things had happened) and a seven-badger who loved his Pokemon and they loved him, I’d bet on the seven-badger every single time.

Anyway, all of that to say that Justin was a good trainer despite what had happened to him. I’d kind of gotten lost in the weeds here, and Justin had just stared at me while I’d been thinking.

“So? Do you, or do you not?”

“I’m not sure, to be quite frank,” he said with quivering lips, and I realized that this was tough to talk about for him. “It’s a very big decision. As far as I’m concerned, this is me. It has been me for the last few months.”

“But?”

“But at the same time, I can tell something isn’t right. That I should react to things, or feel things.”

“I remember that.”

It had been the same for me during the Darkest Day. The knowledge that I’d be traumatized once all of the darkness disappeared.

“And I know I’m hurting Louis by staying like this. That I’m hurting all of you. That feels wrong to me.” He audibly gulped. “How would it feel, anyway? You ‘fixing’ me.”

“I have no idea. I’ve only used this twice when I was at risk of dying, all of the other times I was just looking.”

“And you aren’t looking now?”

“I try not to. At first it was to respect people’s boundaries, but honestly… speaking to people and knowing exactly what they feel at all times, it feels like it’d be a little lonely,” I admitted quietly for the first time. “I dunno, maybe it’s silly, but I just don’t do it anymore.”

Without Aliyah there to keep me grounded, I knew I would have been pulled in a very different direction.

“We don’t have to come to a decision now,” I said to fill the silence. “Here, why don’t I just take a look for now, what do you think about that?”

“...just looking.”

“Yeah. Just to see how you look on the inside.”

“You do realize how untrustworthy you sound when you say you want to look at my insides, right?” he deadpanned.

“Don’t be a baby, I meant it in a good way.”

He let it go, and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and winced when I opened them again when the world flooded with color. It seeped through the cracks in the door, the little space in the slightly ajar window and even through the walls. They were voices without sound, but still with meaning, and by the Legendaries, they were loud, and the world was so bright it was like I was staring right at the sun. I’d grown since my first few days as an empath, though, so I kept my legs steady and adjusted the range, focusing solely on Justin’s frame. Every person, human or Pokemon, had some feeling or a mix of them leaking out of them at all times, and whether it be dull or strong, I’d notice. Hell, even for Pokemon that worked with an alien frame of mind like Mimi and Melmetal, it was the case, even if the emotions were confusing and complicated.

There was nearly nothing leaking out of Justin. At first, I’d thought it was nothing, but it was barely slipping past his skin with muted colors that were missable if I didn’t squint. The instinct to push and pull was there, and I could feel the metaphorical needle and thread within my fingers.

“Justin, do you still want to realize your dream? To take over Pherzen? Or did you give up?”

Pale wisps of color became small embers. “Of course, I didn’t give up,” he answered. “What was this? A test?”

“Yeah. Sorry,” I said, closing my eyes. The world became dull again when I opened them. “Wanted to test something.”

The theory had been right. It was an inhibitor. Emotions beyond a certain threshold would still break through. I explained it all to him, and he seemed to agree. Now the question was, how did I fix him? Don't burden him with more feelings; help him shed the oppressive weight instead, Bellatrix had said. I could not manipulate TE, so how would I go about this?

Well, Mesprit had said it was possible, and while they were… well, Mesprit, they wouldn’t lie to me. It had been a very particular game, that the God had been playing. Using the truth as a weapon, twisting the knife in hopes of twisting me, so to speak and it hadn’t worked.

Yet I knew it was true. I just had to work out the logistics in case Justin ever decided he wanted to go back to who he was. Or who he used to be.

I softly patted him on the back. “‘Kay, I’m done. Now let’s go and hang out!”

He frowned. “It’s nowhere near dinner time.”

“I want to make up for lost time with you,” I said. “Come on.”

“Okay.”

Thank the Legendaries, he’d said yes.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t even asked about Meltan.

Huh. Figures.