CHAPTER 287
The League made worse food than Pokemon Centers did.
Sure, my room was bigger, and it was cozier here even if it was technically a hospital room and not a dorm, but I'd expected the food to be just as good as everything else had been. Instead I'd been served some lemon herb chicken with steamed vegetables, and it was just ugh, especially given the fact that I was constantly nauseous and wasn't sure I'd be able to eat even half of it without hurling all over my bed. It was easy to get used to the food the Center cafeterias served you, and I'd never complain about it ever again. Mimi hung onto the plate and extended a thin tendril of metal to grab a piece of chicken before deeming it undesirable and throwing it back with a sad mewl. Mimi was a name they'd chosen and hadn't been in my first… hundred choices, but they seemed to enjoy it enough. Claydol, meanwhile, was still trying to convince me to just assign them a name and be done with it already. The ground type was currently hovering in the 'living room' area in the corner of the room and deciphering the world's current alphabet by using one of my textbooks, which they were learning at a rapid pace. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd know how to read by tomorrow morning.
"We'll find you something to eat soon," I told Meltan. "Don't worry about it."
The steel type's eye poked out of the golden gear above their head, staring at me intently. They were getting antsy and wanted to get out of the room after having spent an entire day here, but I was still too sick to go out, even if I wanted to, so I'd taken to taking them into the hallway so they could stare out the window as a bracelet, but that did little to contain Mimi's wanderlust. Instead, they'd grown even more excited at how big the world was in a way that couldn't help but have me smiling. I chewed on possibly the last bit of food I'd be eating, forcing it down with a mouthful of water and sighed.
"I think Buddy should be rested enough now for you guys to officially meet. Are you ready? Both of you?"
While Claydol had already met Buddy, it had been in the middle of a heated battle, so there hadn't been much opportunity for them to speak. The psychic agreed, two of their eyes settling on mine while the others either faced my book or continuously scanned the room for dangers. I noticed it had been muscle memory they had held over from their time as the King's Guardian, something they insisted on calling me. Mimi's tail shook more erratically than it usually did, and I noticed the steel type was probably nervous. I was currently trying to learn their body language without relying on my empathy too much, but it wasn't too difficult with how expressive Meltan was.
"He's nice, don't worry," I said, putting my plate onto my bedside table. A nurse cleared to know everything about me and the events had come to monitor me earlier and would come pick this up just like she'd brought it. I found it pretty crazy that there were apparently clearance levels for everyone here, and not just for members of the army. "He's a little shy around new people though, so I doubt he'll talk as much as you do."
One thing I'd learned about Mimi during our day together was that they were very vocal. More than any of my Pokemon, even Sweetie, though the steel type's words weren't really… words that I could fully translate. More like ideas, wants, and concepts, just like Melmetal had been, but easier to manage. Thankfully Mimi was nowhere as loud as she was, or I would have gotten in trouble with the hospital staff. Claydol was more silent unless you spoke to them first, but once you did, they'd launch into random stories and tangents that sometimes had nothing to do with what you'd asked in the first place until they stopped and apologized for malfunctioning. At least they'd both helped keep my thoughts from spiraling. I had nightmares… saw Lou's face whenever I closed my eyes. The last look we shared before she'd Teleported me out of that sinking house would haunt me for long. Claydol lowered their book as I released Jellicent in the room's center. The ghost's form was still somewhat wavery, with the constant ripples running through his body being the biggest sign, but also how imperfect his head was. It was usually a relatively smooth sphere, but there were bumps and little dents everywhere, and he struggled to stay afloat. Zoroark's pulse attack had really done a number on him too, despite the fact that he usually always recovered quickly from any battle.
"Woah. Can you— can you float alright? Do you want me to draw you a bath? I should have had one prepared, I'm sorry."
Jellicent let out a pained moan, though his eyes were as focused and vibrant as ever. He had known I'd caught Claydol, but not Meltan, and he did stare intently at the little fellow, but only after expressing his relief at my survival. Mimi introduced themselves with a metallic screech, a small spark of their tail and waving two of their little arms. I had seen them create at least eight at once when they were experimenting earlier, but since every human they saw only had two, that was the number they had settled on. Their eye wobbling like a rippling lake betrayed their lack of confidence, however, even if they stood tall.
"You've been in your ball for around a day," I said. "The entire family's fine, there were no casualties there. Honey and Princess will take the longest to heal. This, uh, this is Mimi. I caught them shortly after I recalled you and got us out of there—"
The ghost's tentacle extended until it softly touched my cheek, and I leaned into the affectionate touch until he started to scold me for giving up on life so easily. For daring to leave them behind because I'd been out of options. There was a hint of panic in his tone— a fray in his voice that I had never heard out of him before, because while it hadn't been our first close brush with death, it had been truly the first time I had accepted it.
"What else did you want me to do?" I muttered. "If I'm going down, I might as well try to save your lives. The metal would have killed even you."
Hell, I wasn't even sure if Pokeballs would have been safe. Buddy clicked, not bothering to hide any of his irritation. They were not tools for me to make decisions for them, he said.
"No," I agreed. "You aren't. But I wasn't going to let you die."
The ghost answered that if Lou hadn't suggested Teleportation as an out, they would never have let me recall them. They would all have wrested their Pokeballs out of my hands, because they wouldn't have wanted to give up until the very end.
"I don't want you to feel like a life without me isn't worth living," I said.
Buddy eased up slightly, his eyes dimming and softening with each passing moment. He held back the no doubt scathing retort, sighing as he looked at Mimi again. The steel type had been observing the short argument with a wobbly eye while Claydol, believing themselves subservient (which was something I would have to fix), had not intervened at all. Buddy lowered himself so he could get a good look at Mimi, offering a short greeting. Thankfully, it looked like he wasn't associating them with Melmetal or holding a grudge, though I'd known he was good with children, if a little on the stricter side when compared to Sunshine or me.
"Mimi will be joining us from now on as a traveling companion. They're kind of a tourist, really," I explained, which was to Meltan's liking. "Claydol will be training with us, though."
Salutations, Advisor. I hope we will have a cooperative relationship in serving our King, Claydol said before pausing. Initiating icebreaker— there was a drumroll, but it sounded more like sticks beating on metal than actual drums— Loading. Loading. Failed to find topic pertaining to the species of 'Jellicent'. My apologies, Advisor.
Buddy's eyes flashed with something between confusion and intrigue while I snorted. An underground civilization no doubt would have rarely come upon an actual Frillish or Jellicent, though, so it made sense. The 'Advisor' bit was strange to both of us, with the way Claydol still believed we were basically some kind of royal posse. Mimi was the religious figure, I was the King, and Buddy was the advisor. What would the others be?
"Why don't you tell us one of your jokes?" I teased.
Sarcasm detected. Only if it is an order.
"Fine. Jeez, I can't wait for you to meet Slowking. You two would get along like two peas in a pod," I grinned.
Jellicent sighed, not wanting to know what kind of awful things they'd get up to, but at least first impressions were going decent enough. Mimi spent the rest of the night pretending not to be scared of Buddy while Claydol engaged in conversation with the ghost, which was hard, with the way he waited for Buddy to ask for everything first. Somehow, Bud got him to start leaking some gossip from some lady called Atilia Agatopa, who back in the day had apparently wanted to organize a religious ritual to get a second Melmetal from their God until she was deemed a heretic and her and her followers' throats were slit. At first, I thought their God might have been some steel type Legendary whose name had been lost to time or a made-up one that didn't exist, but he'd actually been a… well, not a man, but something akin to it. The Lakhutians believed that the human body had been forged in his image instead, shortly after he had forged the world and Pokemon. Of course, now we knew that humans came first, but worshipping something that wasn't a Pokemon was a thought so alien to me that I thought Claydol had been short-circuiting at first, and that was just one of their human-like Gods.
So, uh, yeah. Hearing about how a woman and her followers got purged was a 'nice' icebreaker. Mimi and Buddy seemed to like it.
—
I barely slept that night. I'd been tossing and turning, not helped by the subtle pain in my hands that flared up every time I moved them too much. As a result, I was exhausted by the morning, which wasn't ideal considering I'd wanted to study Byron. I was scrambling for a way to make things work and challenge him before the Red Chain was completed, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to quite yet, and if I did, Honey would have to bow out of the fight. I didn't know if Claydol would get Gym Battles enough to fight in them, and even if they did, I doubted that they'd be able to get their offensive power up in time to work with what I wanted. There was also the fact that I'd need to alter my entire strategy which didn't do me any favors, so everything was still up in the air right now.
Plus, worrying about mundane stuff like Gym Battles… didn't feel right. It felt like I was moving on too quickly, and that was wrong, right? I should have been counting my lucky stars to be alive instead of just acting like things were business as usual. Enjoying watching Mimi try to crawl up the walls until they fell down and tried to go higher this time. Seeing Buddy and Claydol interact for the first time and seeing the spark there when I'd expected Buddy to take a while to even speak to the psychic, but the fact that Claydol was a treasure trove of historical knowledge made them mesh very well, though there were still many holes in their memory. I didn't eat much of the breakfast they sent me, though Mimi had some fun poking some apples with a needle-like arm. It was not long until Aliyah made herself known, arriving with a soft knock on the door that I would have missed if Claydol and Jellicent hadn't alerted me. I heard her soft steps first, which had me relaxing even before she turned the corner.
"Aliyah," I exhaled, like a pressure had been lifted off my chest. Legendaries, when had I gotten so reliant on her? One day missed, and I felt like crying when seeing her again.
My therapist inclined her head as she greeted my Pokemon with a slight smile, though I waited little time to recall them. I'd already warned Meltan and Claydol beforehand that I'd need them away for a little while, though I was beginning to learn that Mimi hated their Pokeball.
"I've heard everything," Aliyah said in a solemn tone before sitting down on the couch. Distance today, or did she want me to get closer? "I'm sorry for your loss, Grace."
"I— I didn't know her much," I mumbled, suddenly feeling the need to tug and hurt my fingers. "I wanted to, but…"
When this is all over and the world's in a good place, I'll tell you as a parting gift. Barely four days ago, Lou had told me this when I'd asked about her, and now she was gone.
"You knew her well enough for it to hurt," she said. "Are you well enough to get out of bed? I'll make you tea, if you want."
"Sure."
I groggily stood up and trudged my way across the room, dragging my IV stand with me and supporting myself with one of my crutches. I suddenly felt like I'd be able to fall asleep if I did close my eyes, like the world was playing a trick on me. Either way, I was too scared to sleep. Aliyah also stood up and approached the stove to heat some water. I plopped myself down on the couch with a sigh and watched the back of her head as she hummed.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
"I've been told that you're having issues of blame," she softly continued as she lighted her usual candle. My nose tingled at the smell. "I'd like to forgo today's theme and focus explicitly on this for this session."
"Right."
"Blame. It's a heavy load to carry and can easily transform into survivor's guilt," Aliyah said. She dragged the kettle over the electric stove and turned toward me. "And that can eat someone from the inside if left unchecked."
"Cynthia already talked to me about it. Lou did too, before she died— but she— it doesn't stop the fact that she's gone, and if had I listened, she'd be alive."
"Perhaps she would be," Aliyah agreed. "If, if, if. It's a nice word, but meaningless in this instance and a lot of the time. You should strive to live in the present— not to forget the ones who helped you get this far, but to learn how to live. You are not an omniscient or perfect being, nor should you strive to be, because that would be impossible. This is a journey of self-improvement, not perfection. You are holding yourself to impossibly high standards, Grace, and I believe I know why. You are so scared of returning to your past self that you see any mistake as backsliding, even when it has nothing to do with the strides you've made in improving yourself."
"But she's… dead. And Maxwell and Richard's Pokemon are, too. And he even lost a hand. Lou's team is going to be grieving for years. I wanted to do good, to help Zoroark, but it hurt so many people in the process that I don't know if I have it in me. Unless you're like Cynthia and nothing is a threat to you, then how can you help in situations like these?"
Aliyah paused. "Being a good person often entails making selfless choices and putting others' needs before your own, making it a noble and worthwhile sacrifice for the greater well-being of those around you. Sometimes, more people than you get burned, to save the lives of others," she said with a wistful look, as if she was reminiscing.
"Now I can't help but think, was it worth it? And it makes me sick, Aliyah. Sick. I can't help but look Mimi in the eye and think about Lou being here instead of them and asking myself, did I make the right choice? I'm already attached to them, but… Legendaries."
"Mimi is… your Meltan," Aliyah guessed. "You see it as an exchange. Saving one life for another, as if a choice had been presented to you when you'd first entered Lakhutia. It was not a choice, Grace. You did not choose, because you did not know it was a choice. You simply tried to do right."
She was interrupted by the shrieking of the tea kettle, pulled it off the stove and poured us two cups.
"But let us entertain your 'if' scenario for a second. Say that you left as soon as you got your new Claydol, and say that Zoroark would have let you go instead of doing the same thing anyway and trapping you in the city— because that is also a possibility, if we want to play with hypotheticals, and Zoroark has never let any expeditions sent against him escape even when he was not provoked. You manage to leave, and the League sends a team of ACE and League Trainers to deal with Zoroark soon after. The same scenario ensues. He figures that he is not going to win and is going to get captured, so he awakens Melmetal, and they are all wiped out, or close to it. There would have been more casualties, both human and Pokemon, and knowing you, you would still be blaming yourself for leaving Lakhutia and failing to warn the people who would have gone in after you. Here, drink." She shoved the teacup into my hands and sat next to me. "Asking yourself about 'what ifs' is a conundrum without end, Grace. You can twist the story in a thousand different ways and reach a thousand different conclusions that get you the narrative you want."
I inhaled sharply at her tone, which was more passionate than usual, and wasn't sure of how to retort.
"It poisons the mind," she continued. "Eats at you until you're scraped raw and there's nothing left. But the truth of the matter is, everything looks clearer with hindsight, yes? When the entire event is behind you, and you ask yourself 'what could I have done better?'"
"I do that every time I battle," I said. "Sorry if that comparison is stupid."
Aliyah shook her head. "Not at all. But you are being harsh on your past self, and you were operating on a completely different set of information. Zoroark was something even one of your ACEs could have comfortably dealt with and that they were comfortable enough to let you practice on. The last thing anyone expected was for some ancient, metal demi-God to show up," she finished with a dismissive hand wave. "No, no, you are being too harsh on yourself. Now, should you use this as a lesson to handle these matters in a safer manner? If the situation presents itself and you have access to information that lets you, yes. Going so far as to shoulder Lou's death in its entirety? Absolutely not. That is nonsense, my dear."
I nodded, almost in a half-dazed state.
She really had a way with words, didn't she?
—
"The point is, can we replace her or not, Lucian?" Aaron groaned. He was sitting in one of his usual poses that Cynthia would never understand. The way his back was arched had her hold back a wince, but maybe she was just getting older.
"You weren't here when she was created. It took hundreds of attempts to make her. That means hundreds of deaths. Of pitting children against each other. It is not something I would be particularly fond of doing," Lucian said. "Her passing is a shame, but perhaps we'd do better to move on."
"Maybe we can just kidnap two psychics from those clans in Kanto," Flint suggested, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Import 'em here and have 'em start a family, though it'd have to be two different clans, because the inbreeding stuff is—"
"Please do not involve yourself in political matters," Lucian clapped back.
"It's an idea. Maybe we can buy them— okay, okay, sheesh, I'm just pulling your leg, no need to glare at me like I pissed in your fuckin' cereal," Flint scoffed while shaking his head. "What do you think, old bat?"
Bertha sneered, her hand squeezing the top of her cane. The Elite Four had been gathered in Cynthia's office today to assess the loss of assets that had gone on in Lakhutia, and there were debates about Lou, as she knew there would be. Creating her had not been a simple endeavor, both in costs and in ingenuity, but it could be done again, if given enough time. Lou's theoretical successor would unfortunately never be online in time for the confrontation with Galactic that Cynthia felt was coming in her gut. Losing her had been such a shame, too. Her psychic abilities had been as strong as a Pokemon, though they still lagged behind the most talented human psychics in Indigo and paled compared to what someone like Sabrina was capable of, but having a loyal psychic had helped with smoothing League operations tremendously. It was not the same, with a Pokemon. One, they were beholden to their trainers more than they were to Cynthia, and since Lou was a human, she'd been an excellent spy, able to blend in anywhere so long as they gave her contacts for her eyes, and that wasn't counting all of the things she'd been able to do that Pokemon simply couldn't. Her death wasn't the worst event cost-wise, especially when she'd sacrificed herself to save Grace, but it still stung.
"Lou can wait," Cynthia said. "What I need to know is if the other ACEs will be ready to get back to work by the time Grace Pastel leaves."
"You're giving the girl too much leeway," Bertha said. "Her leash should have been tightened from the start. Loose enough to give her the illusion of freedom, but tight enough to keep her from costing us."
"Let's not be mean to a teenager, yeah?" Flint said. "I mean, Aaron's in the room."
The green-haired boy shifted from the position in his chair and kicked Flint in the shin, causing the fire type master to double over and clutch at his leg. The potential the two youngest members of the Elite Four had was there, but they certainly still acted their age. Bertha and Lucian kept things balanced nicely, but Aaron especially needed to grow up sooner rather than later. He had not been in a serious fight yet. Oh, he'd helped clean up Team Galactic's compounds, but he needed something more dangerous than fighting a few grunts. Like that time she'd taken Flint to battle Regice when the Legend had broken out of containment during his first year and he'd come out a different man.
Yes. The kind of fight that would build character and wean off some of that naïveté that still remained. He would need at least a few of these, if he was to be her successor like she wanted him to be. Rare was it that she saw so much talent in such a young man. His instincts at battling were better than even hers, but what Aaron needed the most was experience. Nineteen years old, and already, he was projected to take Bertha's seat as the third most powerful member of the Elite Four by next year.
"Costs today don't matter, Bertha. You think too short-term," Cynthia said, drumming her fingers against the old oak wood of her desk. Bertha was scrappy, a remnant of her decades in politics where she'd learned not to let anyone walk over her. Sometimes, that left her blind to obvious opportunities. "And believe it or not, niceness pays, down the line."
"Ho?" Bertha said with a tint of humor. "Do tell."
"You know already. The world won't be under threat forever, but the powers will stay," Cynthia said. "But returning to the topic of ACEs, how are Maxwell, Richard and Serena faring?"
Lucian produced a thin sheet of paper, tapping it lightly. "Maxwell is good to go already. The loss of his Liepard is buried deep within and probably waiting to be unpacked after he's off guarding duties. Serena's always been stoic, and this is no different. Samuel believes she thinks herself lucky to have gotten off with no losses. You know about her inner self already."
"She hides her self-interest well, but yes, I expected her to bounce back when she got off lightly," Cynthia nodded. "Richard, then?"
"He's doing the worst. Samuel says he's actively mourning and the walls he'd put up to do the job are breaking down."
"He's always been soft," Cynthia said, uninterested. "Replace him, but handle him with care. Give him some time off and put him back in one of the League Trainer forces if he doesn't want to quit. Try to convince him not to. Patriotism won't work with someone in his state, so use Team Galactic's plot to end the world as a hook. I doubt he wants to lose the rest of his team."
Richard was too valuable not to be in the hands of the League, as was every ACE. Oh, Cynthia would have said it in a more subtle way, if she'd been speaking to anyone else. While the Gym Leaders knew of her filtered self, the Elite Four knew her for who she truly was: someone who would put Sinnoh above all, morals be damned, and they accepted her for it because they knew someone like her was needed at the helm of the ship. The meeting dispersed soon after, though Aaron asked Cynthia if they could battle sometime this week, something which she accepted right away. Battles with the Elite Four were two-fold. They served to keep her team from getting rusty, and improved their own skills as well, and though they never won, they always managed to take out at least two Pokemon, or three when they had good days. Granted, when she used Spiritomb or Garchomp early, they always hit a wall.
Cynthia Collins rubbed her tired eyes, wanting to get out of this coat and into loungewear already. Instead, she dialed Fantina's number. Knowing her, she would be having one of her Gym Trainers battle instead of herself, so she was probably free. Cynthia fiddled with Zoroark's Pokeball with a curious smile as the phone rang. She'd gone into Grace's room expecting to be fought tooth and nail for custody of the ghost, but instead Grace had just given it to her. The last thing she'd expected was for her own name to come up as a suitable trainer. Where had the girl who had disliked her so deeply in Veilstone and Sunyshore gone?
That's why you're wrong, Bertha, Cynthia smiled. Niceness pays.
Though now, the Champion would need to make sure Grace's mental health held up. Cynthia had considered getting Cecilia Obel to Teleport here for moral support so they could stay together during Grace's recovery, though from what she understood, there was some tension in the relationship, these days, or perhaps they'd made up? It was difficult to keep track of, with teenagers.
"Cynthia, my darling!" Fantina said in her usual accent. "How goes the League?"
"Swimmingly," Cynthia said. "The Elite Four have been doing a good job in my long absences. Have you read the reports?"
"Oh, such horror. For a Pokemon that threatening to have been right under our noses all this time? I could hardly believe it!"
If she'd read hers, that meant the other Gym Leaders had as well. She suspected opinions would be more positive on this one. Roark had been the only one fully in support of what had happened to Backlot, something which had not surprised Cynthia, with the way he had backed her so loudly with memory extraction earlier in the year. As for Fantina? What she felt was akin to pity for both Mira and Grace. Seeing two children broken in such different ways would do that to her, which was why she'd helped the former with her new Gengar for a few days in Hearthome.
"You know Grace has that Zoroark in her possession, then," Cynthia continued. "She has handed it over to the League, and I'm left with a choice. Do you want to take care of it, or not?"
There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I don't know, Cynthia. Ten— even five years ago, I would have said yes. Today? Right now? I don't think so. I pity the poor ghost, but I have done my fair share of love-giving and teaching throughout the years. I want to be able to enjoy retirement without such pressures. This would be the most difficult one to teach yet."
Cynthia exhaled. "Very well, then. I suppose I'll take him."
There was a jealous rattle deep within her pocket, and her desk shook slightly. Cynthia clicked her tongue and passed a hand over the rough keystone. While Fantina had spent her entire life rehabilitating ghosts, both in and out of her team, Cynthia had experience with it as well. She had, after all, stumbled upon a Spiritomb when she'd been young, and although she had been horribly unqualified, she had managed to wean off their intent to murder her after years of work— though convincing the majority of the 108 souls had taken ten months instead, which was when she began to be able to approach without being racked by tormenting voices, illusions, visions and nightmares.
"If you think you will have time for him, then go ahead," Fantina agreed. "It will take long."
"It is what it is," Cynthia shrugged.
"Do you actually want to, or do you feel like this is an obligation? You have to actually want to, Cynthia, especially with this one."
"I may be the Champion, Fantina, but I am still a trainer," Cynthia said. "Yes, I do want to help."
"Very well. Contact me if you ever need advice."
"Thank you. I'll let you go, then. Let me know if there's any stirring within the Gym Leaders or you manage to locate Sylvestia's Gengar."
Fantina agreed, then hung up, and Cynthia stretched in her chair, feeling her bones grind against each other and her back and neck crack with each movement. She stayed there, silently clasping Zoroark's Pokeball until she stood and released her entire team. Garchomp, Lucario, Togekiss, Milotic, Roserade, Gastrodon, along with the ones who she'd caught during her one-year stay in Unova, Braviary, Glaceon, and Eelektross. She dropped Spiritomb's keystone onto the carpet, and it seemed to roll on its own, settling at the center of the room. There was a pulse, then Pressure they'd all grown used to as wafts of indigo smoke peppered by green hue sprouted out of the rock, constantly shifting. She'd seen trainers get terrified of Spiritomb countless times in her career, but they were no threat to her. She had endured their torment for nearly a year, continuously working to get close to each soul. Hearing their pain, the way they'd been hurt to create the abomination they'd become and being there. Coming back each time to a world of pain until they understood that she wanted nothing but to help.
Ah, to be young again, Cynthia reminisced. If there was one thing she missed, it was traveling with her team and having something challenge her again.
The Champion took a deep breath, then launched into her announcement. "You're getting a new teammate today, though you will not be introduced quite yet…"