CHAPTER 164 - It Fades

Shiftry attacked immediately, cutting across the air and sending arcs of darkness toward Cynthia. I suddenly felt a weight on me. An immense amount of pressure that made it even more difficult to breathe. It made me hyper-aware of every process in my body. The beating of my heart, the need to forcefully expunge and inhale air, the need to blink, my tongue in my mouth. I felt goosebumps and continuous chills run through my spine and arms and found myself unable to focus, even in Shiftry's domain.

The attack swirled and was absorbed into Cynthia's pocket.

Then I heard the whispers. Quiet at first, then louder and louder. A dozen voices. Then more. Then more. I couldn't place the exact number. It was impossible to guess in the jumbled mess of agonized screams. Ghastly voices that were raspy and disjointed, but imbued with a cold, spectral resonance.

IT BURNS!

WHY ME?

SPARE MY FAMILY.

WATER… WATER…

IT HURTS.

I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

NOT MY NAILS. NOT MY NAILS.

I CAN'T SEE. WHY CAN'T I SEE?

But eventually, they changed and started to yell and tell me to do things.

HANG YOURSELF.

SLIT YOUR OWN THROAT.

BITE OFF YOUR TONGUE.

KILL HER! HER CECILIA—

I covered my ears with my hands, but they didn't stop, and the longer it went on, the more personal they got. Calling me a fake, a murderer, talking about my friends and family and how they'd never love me again after what I'd done. Each word was uttered with chilling deliberation, and a dry laugh echoed through my head. Cynthia snapped her fingers, then the voices instantly ceased, or at least they did for me. The Elder was still clearly rattled, its eyes twitching as it stared not at Cynthia, but at whatever laid dormant in her pocket.

What were they whispering at him, I wondered.

Shiftry changed tactics, aiming to attack Cynthia from upclose. It winked forward, aided by its own domain and its two leaves shone with a bright green. Somehow, he was the only colored being in this entire faded world. As soon as it got a few feet away from the Champion, it got on its knees and couldn't go on. Were the voices rendering him unable to fight? Shiftry was unable to even move.

I hadn't been the target of whatever this was, yet the voices had still affected me. They shook me to my core, and it would have been much worse without its domain.

"I said that we should talk," Cynthia smiled. "And I meant it. I just want to understand what you gained from this. Weren't you content to play around in your little sand castle, pretending to be king? Didn't I tell you that I would come for you if you breached our agreement again?"

The dark type shivered, but it seemed like gravity itself was acting against it. Lucario stood by next to me, carefully observing its trainer at work with its arms crossed. I had expected at least a fight, but this wasn't even close to that. Cynthia was talking down Shiftry like a child that had messed up. Shiftry responded with a series of weak grunts, and Lucario's eyes lit up. Cynthia hummed, and then nodded.

"So you were informed then," Cynthia said. "Very well, I understand now. You were quite predictable after all, Shiftry, I was just missing the last piece."

Shiftry trembled as it stood up. The sources of all our problems these past few days. What I had thought to be an insurmountable force had been reduced to begging for its life. Lucario's eyes shone bright blue again, and it was only then that I understood that it was acting as a translator. I hadn't even known that they could speak.

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. You didn't think I hadn't been raising your replacement all these years in case you went rogue, did you? This is just a few years ahead of schedule, but we'll manage. It's a shame, really. All these years pretending to be more than you actually are, only to realize that you're really just a child playing pretend. Lucario?"

The fighting type stepped forward, slowly walking toward Shiftry, who looked on in disbelief. Tears streamed down its face and its teeth chattered, but Cynthia didn't care. Lucario offered Shiftry one small bow, and then impaled it with a bright blue bone. Again, it moved faster than I could even see. Life slowly left Shiftry's eyes, and it collapsed into its own pool of darkness. The voices stopped, and the pressure pressing down on me disappeared.

Just like that, its one-thousand-year dynasty had ended.

Cynthia was a mountain. Just seeing this made me realize that even if I won at the Conference, there was simply no way I was ever beating her this year. None of us were. Sunshine looked on in awe at the pure humiliation that had just happened. Lucario was powerful, as were all of her Pokemon, but Garchomp was even more so.

But what was in her pocket terrified me the most. It was easy enough to put together. It could only be Spiritomb— a Pokemon capable of such damage both mentally and physically that Cynthia never used it in any of the rare battles she still fought in public these days.

It hadn't even been active. I knew from a blurry picture I'd seen of the ghost from a battle Cynthia fought long ago in her early twenties that it was supposed to be more than just a keystone that could fit in a pocket. It was a cold, purple, swirling mess with green blotches that looked like eyes and a mouth. And yet she hadn't even felt the need to use it here.

"Our job here is done," Cynthia smiled. "Aaron, Jim, go see to it that things in the city are still running smoothly. I wouldn't trust Flint with running a daycare, let alone an operation of this scale. Call Lucian's office and tell him that he can finally Teleport in. Alicia, you stay with me."

"Yes ma'am!" The two League trainers said in unison.

"Sure," Aaron answered. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'll be needed here," she replied as the darkness began to collapse. She turned to me. "I'm sorry about the voices, but we have little time. Brace yourself."

I inhaled sharply and forced my eyes shut. I began to breathe normally again. I felt the temperature rise by a few degrees as Turtonator's warmth could finally reach me undisturbed. I felt my phone buzz with dozens of notifications and alerts.

I slowly opened an eye and saw that color had returned to the world. The sun was setting, and an orange glow shone through the windows. Was that it? Would I be forced to stay this way forever?

But then it all came flooding in. Slowly at first. My battle with Harry Rodriguez.

Pelipper's horrifying gurgles as it burned from the inside. Its head and body swelling to twice their size to accommodate Turtonator's Dragon Pulse. Its empty stare. The silence afterward. Half of Princess' throat ripped out. Her tiny, agonizing pleas for help. Crobat's horrified scream at the death of its comrade. Its remains, only smoke and ash, but also Honey's slight stare when I ordered him to kill. Sweetheart getting clawed apart by Weavile until half of her scales had been ripped off.

My dozens of close brushes with death.

I stumbled backwards, but Cynthia grabbed me by the arm and kept me steady. Princess chirped worriedly, but I didn't respond. I couldn't.

Torture. I had essentially tortured a man and felt good about it while doing so. The thoughts of murder had crawled so easily into my mind, and yet I had felt no hesitation. I dry heaved and tears fell to the wooden floor. Instead of worrying about my friends, I had instead focused on nothing but killing. Killing. Killing.

It came as a quivering, sound of disbelief at first. A small whimper escaped my throat, and I couldn't even formulate the words. I couldn't even understand. To begin to describe the amount of guilt I felt. It was just to defend myself. It was—

But I could have done less. I could have stopped Honey when Crobat had been unconscious. I could have tried to stop Sunshine from murdering Pelipper. It wasn't so much as what I had done was terribly wrong, but it was the fact that I had felt nothing, or even satisfaction while doing so.

I hadn't even tried to do the right thing.

There was no scream. Just a defeated weep.

"It hurts, does it not?" Cynthia sighed. "We came across Mr. Rodriguez's defeated Pokemon on the way here. When I saw you with him, I knew what happened. The first time is always the hardest."

The first time? There would be no second time! I couldn't even retort. I stared at my trembling hands and bit my lip. Turtonator didn't seem to care about what he'd done. What we had done. He let out a long sigh and shrugged. Princess tried to console me, saying that we'd just been defending ourselves.

She was right.

But the guilt didn't stop.

"You were under the influence of Shiftry's domain… and more," Cynthia said, glancing at Princess. "You weren't in the right state of mind."

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"I—"

How could I look my dad in the eye after this? My friends? Cecilia?

"We'll stay here for a bit," Cynthia said. "But I have duties to attend to in Solaceon, and we need to get you and your team to a Center. The International Police will come to question you while you're there, but I'll need to speak to you later tonight if possible."

"My—my friends," I got out.

"Your group? I'm sorry, but I don't know much. We came here as fast as we could," she said. "However I've heard that Denzel Williams was back in the Pokemon Center. We have League Trainers flying around the property, so they'll be found."

After two minutes, Lucario silently spoke to Cynthia. I blinked rapidly to chase away the tears.

"Always the dutiful one, aren't you?" She said. "Alicia, take us back to Solaceon. Teleport her to the Center. Recall your Pokemon, if you will?"

I weakly recalled Sunshine and Princess, and the League Trainer released a Xatu. Before I could even blink, I was back outside of the Center. The place was swarming with trainers, and there were signs of fighting all along the street. One of the sliding doors was completely busted.

Shiftry's domain had affected us all.

In a flash, Xatu disappeared with Cynthia, and then reappeared at its trainer's side alone. She led me to one of the Nurse Joys, who were completely swamped and referred me to one of the human doctors after taking in my Pokemon other than Jellicent. The wound on my waist was apparently fine, but they wanted to keep me at least for a day just in case. I didn't exactly listen. Their words sounded faint. Distant.

Even if. If I could bring to convince myself that everything I had done had been justified, which would be hard in the first place— Maybe there was no way I would have been able to stop Sunshine, but that Crobat and the torture…

There was something wrong with me. Something at my core wasn't wired properly, and I knew that I hadn't always been like this. Had my journey changed me that much? It was certainly possible, but Cynthia had said something else was affecting me. Something other than Shiftry. Text messages slowly filtered in our group chat, letting everyone know who was safe or not.

No one had died, but some were more hurt than others. Louis, Maeve and Mira were completely fine, but Denzel had a concussion and Cecilia hurt her leg really badly. I couldn't help but feel worry, but I surprised myself when I realized that I didn't want to see her. Not after what I had done. Pauline had been stabbed in the shoulder with an attack she hadn't even seen the moment she was teleported, and Justin was… it was difficult to explain. He'd gotten overexposed to dark type energy due to his Krokorok burying him underground to take refuge while his Pokemon fought off the two trainers that attacked him. While the world had returned to normal, he would still suffer the symptoms of Shiftry's domain for months. The doctors weren't sure. Apparently, he couldn't even taste anything.

But apart from him, there was something hanging above all of our heads. The guilt. I could tell from the way we were all avoiding talking about what happened and just skipped to the aftermath. No one wanted to acknowledge what they'd done. I also sent messages to my father and mother, who had been worried sick about me. I didn't really have the energy to go into detail, even the light ones.

I tried to go to sleep, but I only heard Crobat's screams. In a twisted fate of irony, the Zubat line would again keep me awake, but for completely different reasons. I carried guilt now.

I stayed there, staring out the window at the League slowly bringing Solaceon back to normal until the first policeman showed up. I was surprised to see that it was Looker again, although his colleague wasn't there this time.

"Good evening Ms. Pastel. Forgive me for needing to question you in such difficult times, but I'll need to get straight to the point," he said, sitting down next to my bed and grabbing a recorder. "Are you well enough to speak?"

I nodded. Don't look at me.

"Let's start at the beginning, then. It is our understanding that Shiftry targeted your group specifically due to the investigative work you did during the tournament. Can you recount your experience from there?"

"I… can I…"

I didn't want to talk about it. Not the battle with Harry. He'd look at me like I was a monster afterward, I was sure of it. Maybe I was.

"Let's just move on for now," Looker said after a pause.

I explained everything to the best of my ability. My battle with Reggie and Lane, and the conversation with Roland, which Looker took great interest in. They didn't know much about Cyrus, and insight into how he thought would be of great help to the League and the International Police.

"I'm sorry. If I managed to gag Roland or something instead of talking, maybe he wouldn't have…"

"Don't worry about it. You've done a lot more than could be asked of you. You did a great thing today, Ms. Pastel. Who knows how many people would have died if Shiftry's influence was allowed to stick around for longer?"

I nodded, but I knew it was just empty praise. He was judging me, wasn't he? Everyone would.

"I'm sorry."

Looker frowned, but a knock on the door stopped him from commenting further. Cynthia entered the room with her usual confident stride.

"I managed to get out early," she told Looker before turning to me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," I lied.

The Champion hummed. "Looker, would you mind giving us a second?"

"I actually got everything I wanted," he said. "I'll be going to the other rooms."

"Alright. Call me if anything comes up," Cynthia nodded.

The investigator left the room, leaving only me in a hospital bed and the Champion. It was a mirror of the first time we met in Floaroma. Cynthia sat down in Looker's chair and her body just… loosened. Like she dropped every bit of tension she'd been holding for the last day and could finally allow herself to relax and be herself.

"You feel guilty for killing for the first time," she declared. "And it's eating you from the inside. I felt the same way."

"How can I not?"

"Oh, I'm not telling you not to," she continued. "I don't know what exactly happened, but if I had to guess, you defended yourself. The Nurse Joys say that the wound on your Togetic's neck was lethal and that only a Hyper Potion could have saved her. We're willing to give you the benefit of the doubt on that one, and Mr. Rodriguez corroborated that story."

"How is he?" I asked. He'd gotten manipulated into being Team Galactic's pawn. I didn't feel bad for him, but I hoped that he was alive, at least.

"Oh, he's cooperating fully," Cynthia smiled.

"I meant his leg."

"Do you really want to know?"

I flinched. Was it that bad?

"No," I whimpered, turning away. I was too weak to even acknowledge what I had done. I needed to change the subject. Something. Anything. "What were those voices? Spiritomb?"

"They haven't fought anything in a while, so they've been a bit rowdy lately. I was asking them to hold back due to us not being alone too," she sighed. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, but they're my best means of defense. Don't give any credence to what they said to you, they always try to get under people's skin, and they're especially great at it."

Did that mean it had a way of reading minds? Or sensing what people were anguished about? What move had it even used? I recalled that it— or they as she called the Pokemon— had simply absorbed Shiftry's move like it was nothing.

"Are they in pain? They sounded that way."

"They're not alive, Grace. They're echoes of their former selves, they don't feel pain. Mostly rage. But enough about Spiritomb. I came here to speak to you about a few things, but we'll start with your Togetic."

"My Togetic?" I asked.

The Champion nodded. "She's leaking fairy type energy like a sieve, and she probably doesn't even realize it. It's affecting the way you think."

"Excuse me?"

"You're starting to behave more and more like a fairy type. I don't need to know much about you to know that for a fact. See, when type specialists surround themselves with a single type, their exposure to that type starts to change their behavior. Take Aaron, for example. He always notices the tiniest things, and he always goes from one passion to the next each month, but he's also an excellent multitasker. Bug types don't live that long, so it's his way of wanting to experience everything he can. Candice stopped being able to feel cold, although it's still bad for her to walk around in those shorts in the middle of winter. The more powerful a Pokemon is, the more they leak, which is why this only tends to happen to high-leveled trainers. It normally doesn't happen to generalists like us, but Togetic is releasing too much of it, and it's changing you. Right now, you're behaving like a fairy type specialist. Can you still lie?"

"I— yes," I shakily said.

"Good, then it hasn't progressed that far. We'll need to speak again when she's released from the Center. Togekiss will speak to her and show her how to stop. Try to release her from her Pokeball as little as you can until then."

"Since— since when has this been happening?" I asked. Even if it wasn't on purpose, I was shaken. Was I even me anymore? "And does it affect my friends?!"

"It affects everyone around her, but I assume that she spends a lot more time with you than anyone else. I don't know since when, but possibly since she's evolved. This issue isn't common with Togetic, but it can happen. You stopped using her to sleep, I hope?"

"I did."

The Champion smiled. "Good. They're capable of exuding happiness by molding fairy type energy to their liking, but sometimes they don't know how to stop it completely. Mine wasn't like that, and it's a rare condition— ah, don't worry, you'll still be fine when the leaking stops, although you won't go back to how you were before."

"So I've just been… controlled this entire time?"

"Controlled? No, of course not," The Champion dismissed. "You're still capable of taking your own decision, and we managed to catch it early enough. It did nudge you in the current direction though, so it's true that you would have been slightly different without it."

My shoulders slumped. I didn't blame Princess… it wasn't her fault, but if it affected my friends too, I couldn't stop myself from feeling guilt. I didn't deserve them, did I?

Had it affected the way Cecilia thought about me? Damn it, I wished there was a way to measure this. Cynthia stared, her dark grey eyes analyzing everything about me.

"I can tell what you're thinking. Odds are, it didn't affect your friends that much, and Togekiss would be able to tell if you really need to be sure."

"Thank you," I exhaled. "But why do this for us?"

"This is actually perfect and brings me to my next point," Cynthia said. "We investigated the incident that befell your Turtonator and his old trainer in Mount Coronet by tracking down the two trainers traveling with him. It was indeed Team Galactic's doing, along with one of their Commanders they call Saturn, and they've no doubt noticed the new member of your team. Mars is interested in you, and now you helped take down their breeder. You're a person of interest for them, so the League wants to offer you protection."

"What does that imply?"

"In cities, mostly. You won't even notice that they're here," Cynthia said. "We appreciate your help in all of this, but you and your friends have made yourselves known. I feel the need to help you as much as I can."

I clenched the bed sheets. It never stopped, did it?

"What about Louis and his friends? You should talk to Mira Compton, she—"

"We know. They'll get protection too, but we want something deeper with you, Cecilia and Mira. We'll get into that at a later date, now let's continue. What happened at the mansion and its outskirts will have to stay confidential. That means that no one will know about the… incidents that took place there. Of course people will know that you were involved due to us speaking to you, but the details can stay hidden. Don't speak to the media or the Poketch Company. They will both pressure you, but do not give in."

"Okay," I said.

"One last thing before I let you rest for the day. Did Roland talk to you about anything east of here?"

"I… I told Looker about it. The Unown. Was I not supposed to?"

"Keep that to yourself and take it to your grave," Cynthia said. I felt a chill run down my spine. "Have a good evening, Grace. I will see you within the next few days. Stick around Solaceon until we give you the approval to leave. Looker will come back tomorrow."

After giving her Weavile's Pokeball, Cynthia gently closed the door and I hugged my knees. I might have said I had lost most of my respect for her, but I'd changed my mind now.

She carried more burdens than I thought and she'd had a good reason to let Shiftry run around after all. What I was going through was nothing compared to what she probably dealt with every single day, and yet I still felt like I was suffocating.

What I had done was self-defense. It was either my Pokemon or Harry's, and unlike me, I was sure that he would have killed all of them and me if given the chance.

But it still hurt all the same. It was like I had discovered a part of myself that I hadn't known existed, and it terrified me. I terrified myself.

And the worst of all was that I felt like I had mirrored some of Mars' traits. I hadn't been as expressive of the satisfaction I felt while making Harry pay, while she was extremely vocal about her enjoyment of torture, but even if I had had good intentions, it had been there.

I didn't sleep that night, but I did cry.