Chapter 23 - Two Hares and a Barrel

----------------------------------------

When we arrived at the village, the people who were returning from the fields kept giving me frightened looks, before seeing Holiés behind me, which turned their expressions to ones of curiosity. Ignoring them I kept going towards a house at the center of the village which he said was that of the village chief.

Once in front of the house we both dismounted and I tied my horse to the fence around it before going towards the door.

I made a sign to Holiés to go in front of me and he knocked on the door. When it opened a short old man in simple clothes came out of it and, seeing Holiés he said "Oh, you're back from the hunt already."

"Yes chief, actually... during the hunt I met someone."

Hearing his words the village chief looked over Holiés shoulder and saw me. As practically everyone I met he too froze there for a second but his expression changed immediately and he smiled at me before saying "You must be the Hero! It's an honor to meet you. I'm Rolan, the chief of this little village."

"Oh, I haven't done anything yet to receive such praise. The pleasure is all mine, Roland. As you've guessed I'm Fortuna Tullius."

"Well then, what can we do for the hero?"

"Holiés here helped me hunt a viltusk today so I thought I could give it to you for a relatively small sum and a place for the night."

"Oh, it would be much appreciated, good meat like that is always welcome after all. How much did you agree on?"

"A gold coin and, as I said, a bed for the night and a place to let my horse rest."

"Oh." - The chief's expression changed to a visible frown - "we are kinda in a tough spot right now so a gold coin is a bit..."

"I understand... How about forty silvers and Holiés here will help me in my hunts for a while?"

"Eh?" They both said with a baffled look on their faces.

"Well, he seems to me like he's a good hunter and I could need some help during some of my hunts."

"Oh, of course, of course. Feel free to take him wherever you want."

"But chief-"

"No buts Holiés, you know how much it will help us."

"Y-yes chief."

"Well then, now that that's settled, may I ask you to wait tomorrow for the payment?"

"Of course, I'm in no rush after all." I said.

"Thank you very much, you're really helping us. As for the bed..."

"Holiés told me his brothers left for the war, I'm sure his house will be enough." I said, glancing at the baffled Holiés who was beside me.

"Wait, what? Since when did I agree to all this?"

"You didn't." - I smiled at him - "I'm deciding it now."

"Why do I feel like no matter what I say you won't listen?"

"Because it's exactly like that.” - I said and turned back to the chief - “Well then, Chief Roland, I'll see you tomorrow for the matter regarding the viltusk, have a nice evening."

"You too, Lady Fortuna."

Having finished my talk to the village chief I went back to my horse and Holiés followed me. As I was untying the horse he asked me "why do you even want to come to my house? The chief's is much better than any other in the village."

"What? Didn't I tell you? Where I come from touching a woman's breast is a marriage proposal. It's only natural for the future wife to sleep in the same house of her future husband, isn't it?" I said as I guided the horse away from the house.

I turned back at him to see him standing with his eyes half closed as he stared at me.

"So? Aren't you going to say anything, darling?"

He sighed and said “that's one of the dumbest traditions I ever heard of.”

“Hey! You're insulting my traditions!”

“And how should marriages be annulled in this tradition of yours?”

“By touching them again.”

Hearing that he just put a hand on my breast as if it was the most normal thing ever and I slapped him.

“At least play along your own jokes.” He said, massaging his cheek.

“You bastard! I thought we had a thing! I won't accept this!”

He just sighed again before falling silent and walked in front of me, leading the way as I giggled behind him. After a while he finally stopped in front of an old house and said "Here, this is my mansion... bitch."

"Oh, thank you, I'll be your guest then... molester. By the way, where can I leave my horse?"

"With the other animals in the back."

"Thank you." I said and walked the horse towards the back of the house while he entered.

As I was removing the reins and the saddle I started hearing the voices of two women shouting coming from inside the house though I wasn't able to grasps what they were saying from outside. I waited a while for the shouting to quiet down a bit before going back to the front of the house and knock on the door.

As soon as I knocked the door sprang open and a woman in her forties and a girl in her teens rushed outside to meet me. Just behind them was Holiés with an obviously pissed off look on his face.

"Lady Fortuna, it's an honor to have you here! Please come inside! Our house isn't certainly the best one around but I assure you we'll do our best to make your stay here comfortable." Said the woman before I could even introduce myself.

"Please, Madam, no need to fret over it. It was my decision to come here for the night, I wouldn't want to impose myself on you too much."

To my words Holiés snorted "this bitch" which caused the girl to kick behind her at him.

"No, no, it is a pleasure for us."

"Thank you Madam..."

"Clementine, while this girl here is my daughter Clarisse." She said, gesturing at the girl next to her who started weaving while smiling when she was introduced.

"Well then, Madam Clementine, I'll trouble you for the night." I said and entered the house.

While old and small the house was still bigger than the usual commoner home and had an ample room with a table and fireplace right in front of the entrance with two doors that lead to two other rooms, each on one side of the central room.

"Normally I and and Clarisse sleep together in the bedroom there on the right while Holiés and his brothers sleep on the one in the left." - Clementine said, pointing at the two doors - "but I guess he can sleep with us for tonight and leave you the room."

"There is no need Madam, I'm sure your son is a gentleman."

"Oh no. We can't have an unmarried young lady sleep in the same bed with a man."

"Please, there are a few things I want to discuss with him."

"But..."

"How about we have dinner and decide afterwards? There is no rush after all. Speaking of which, I caught a couple of hares this morning. If you'd like to prepare them."

"Oh, sure, are they outside with your luggage?"

"I have them here, wait a second." I said and opened the storage to take out two already skinned hares.

She stared silently at me as I closed the storage and passed them to her.

"Is there something wrong?"

She snapped out of her haze and said "Oh, no, not at all, sorry. I'll start cooking immediately, make yourself at home meanwhile. Clarisse, come help me."

With a "yes mom" by Clarisse the two women of the house went towards the fireplace to start cooking, hares in hand.

I turned towards Holiés and said "Well then, is there a place where I can wash myself before dinner? I'm all sweaty because a certain someone made me run through a forest behind a beast."

"Hey, I already said I'm sorry, ok?"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Yes, yes. So?"

"There are a well and a wooden barrel on the back, feel free to use them."

"Thank you."

I went back outside from a door that connected the large central room to the back garden, passing Clarisse and Clementine who smiled nervously at me. Once outside, after I checked to see if the horse was fine, I went to fill the large but short barrel with water magic while heating it with fire magic. In less than a minute the barrel was already full and I entered it.

I had just entered when Holié came outside holding some linen clothes and a bar of soap in hands saying "Fortuna, I brought you some soap and something to dry you... with..." - he turned around saying "sorry" and went back towards the door.

"Wait! Could you at least pass me the soap? And leave the linen cloths there on the border of the well while you're at it." I said, pointing at the well right next to the barrel.

"Don't "please pass me the soap", why the fuck are you naked?"

"I'm bathing, how am I supposed to do it?"

"Sorry, right" - he took a deep breath - "why the fuck are you naked already? It takes a dozen minutes to fill that thing!" He said, pointing at the barrel large enough to fit three people.

I shrugged and said "I used magic, now, can you pass me the soap?"

"She used magic to fill a bath" he said to himself as he passed me the soap, laughing.

"Ehi, try not to go crazy on me now."

"I'm trying to, but there is this crazy bitch who keeps doing and saying unthinkable things right in front of me."

"I'll take that as a compliment." I said while I started to wash myself.

"It wasn't intended as one."

He put the linen clothes on the border of the well and said "well then, I'll go inside, call me if you need anything."

"Don't you want to bathe before dinner?"

"Don't you have any shame?" He said incredulous.

"I just don't like smelling a sweaty dude from across the table while I'm eating. Also, when will you have the chance to take a hot bath again?"

He looked at the steam that was raising from the barrel and his eyes lit as if he had realized it just at that moment before shouting "it's hot too?!"

"Yes, and you don't need to break my ears to keep it warm." I said, plugging my ears with soapy fingers.

"Fuck your ears, I'm going to enter, move aside." He said, starting to take off his shirt.

"Ehi! Don't you have any shame?! Entering a girl's bath like that!"

He remained still, his shirt in his hands and said "sorry, I thought-"

"I'm kidding you, come in." I said and moved towards the border of the barrel to make room for him.

"Are all nobles like you?" he said, taking off his pants.

I laughed "no... I think. Well, the king and his brother in law tolerate my antics quite well and so does Lady Raphael. The same can't really be said about the first prince and Lord Gabriel though."

"You just threw quite the names in that sentence." He said, sitting inside the barrel in front of me.

"I thought you were going to overreact again."

"I don't overreact. You just seem to have a talent in bringing people to the border of insanity."

"Well, thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment." -he extended his hand towards me -"Pass me the soap."

"Here you go, mister "it wasn't a compliment"" I said, passing him the soap.

"Why do you even do all this? You seem like an hyperactive kid sometimes."

"For the same reason hyperactive kids do things, boredom."

"Oh, the hero of humanity who lives in the big palace is bored."

"I guess that's how it looks from your perspective."

"Oh, it isn't like that?"

"No, I guess you are right in a certain way."

"No, no, I want to hear your version now."

"Let's make a deal, if you manage to not get yourself killed and reach level fifty while travelling with me I'll tell you."

"Level fifty?! As if."

"You never touched a truth stone, did you?"

"Why should have I? I'm a hunter, not an adventurer, I just need to bring dinner home, no need for fancy ranks."

"Oh, it's like that, huh? Then I guess you don't care about the fact that you're already level thirty seven."

He stared at me with wide eyes for a few seconds before saying "what?"

"You heard me, you are level thirty seven."

"You're kidding me, right? That's enough to take a moonstone rank examination as soon as one registers to the guild."

"I'm not kidding, I can take you with me to the guild if you don't believe me. But tell me, how many hunters are there in these woods as good as you are?"

He thinked about it for a bit before saying "Yeah, that's a fair point. Now I understand why you were so keen in having me hunt with you."

"Well, I go for efficiency."

"That doesn't explain why we are taking a bath together."

"I wanted to talk with you?"

He sighed and said "ok, let's believe that for now. Why were you insisting in sleeping with me?"

"Who said we're going to sleep?"

"You really are a bitch in heat."

"Ehi! Let me finish first. I never said I'm going to fuck you tonight."

"No? Cause it really seemed like you meant exactly that."

"Well, I didn't mean that, actually I should warn you that all of this”- I moved my hand up and down pointing at my body-  “is claimed property. Anyway, have you ever tried having some magic training?"

He laughed at my question and said "I don't have the money nor the talent to receive magic training. Also, I don't know if I want to ask who had the courage to, as you said, claim you.”

"I wouldn't tell you even if you did.”

“Figures.”

“Well, going back to the magic matter, tonight I'm going to teach you magic manipulation."

"What?"

"You heard me. I want you to use my bow but it's made of elven yew, you won't be able to draw it without knowing how to manipulate mana."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Oh no.I'm completely serious. Don't consider it a gift though, I'm only lending it to you for our hunts. So? What do you say?"

"I accept!" He said, springing up inside the barrel.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were so happy about it." I said, staring at his nether region.

"Of course I'm ha-" He stopped himself after realizing where I was looking, just to crouch down immediately, before saying "fuck you."

"You really need to learn how to talk to a woman, you're never going to get married like that."

"Oh no, I do know how to talk to a woman."

"Doesn't seem so."

"There is just something that makes me easy to piss off today."

"Must be something in the water." I said, flicking a finger on the surface of the water, sending drops toward him.

"Yeah, probably, considering where it came from."

"Touché." I said and rested my head back on the border of the barrel as a smug smile appeared on Holiés' face.

After a few moments of complete silence, though, his smile disappeared and he started looking around and washing himself over the same areas, obviously finding the situation awkward, now that we weren't talking anymore, but just sitting there in the barrel, our legs touching.

“Let's go back in, I'm starting to get hungry” I said, getting up.

He breathed out, relieved, and nodded, before getting up too.

I got out of the barrel, reached for the linen towels on the well and threw him one which he caught with a hand as he was going over the border of the barrel.

We wrapped ourselves in the towels and went towards the door to return inside.

As I was about to open the door Holiés said “wait!”

“Why?”

“I just realized how bad of an idea this was.”

“Scared of mama?”

“You don't know how much she can complain about something.”

“I'm sure you'll be fine. It's not like we can stay here outside like this.”

“Yeah, I guess you are… wait a second! Don't you know fire magic?”

I clicked my tongue.

“You were doing this on purpose!”

“Yes, yes, you busted me. Raise your hands, I'll dry you.”

He pointed his hands outward and, as warm air started circulating around him he said "can't you behave like a normal person?"

"Nah, it's much more fun this way"

"Can I ask you not to treat my mother and sister like this too?"

"I had no intention to." I said as I stopped using magic.

"Oh... good."

After Holiés had finished dressing I turned back towards the door but, as I was about to open it, he stopped me again.

"What is it now?"

"Why didn't you put your clothes back on?"

"Because I'm still wet."

He sighed and said "why are you still wet?"

"Because there is a fire inside and I like drying up in front of one."

"I... No, never mind."

"Good," I said and opened the door.

When I entered I saw Clementine and Clarisse preparing dinner, one was checking a huge pot on the fire while the other was kneading a dough on the table. As soon as Holiés closed the door behind me they both looked up.

"Oh! Lady Fortuna, you finished your bath. Please, come here to warm yourself." Clementine said to me, taking a chair from under the table and bringing it near the fire.

"Thank you, madam."

I walked up to the chair next to the pot and sat, making my hair fall on my front to let them dry better.

"So, what will we be eating?"

"Hare and vegetables filled dumplings with hare broth."

I looked over my shoulder and asked "do you need any help with the dumplings?" to Clarisse who was spreading out the dough on the table covered in flour.

"Oh, please, you are our guest." -Clementine said next to me before looking at Holiés who was eating a bit of raw dough on a chair next to the table - "Holiés, help your sister instead of lazing around."

"Yes, yes." He said, getting up to take a small knife.

I turned back towards the fire and let myself comfortable, closing my eyes as the smell of the broth teased my nose.

"By the way, Holiés, how come you stayed outside while Milady was bathing?" Clarisse whispered behind me.

I looked back again to see Holiés looking back and forth between me, his sister and the small squares he was cutting out of the dough.

"Oh, it was my request. I got used to always have an attendant with me while I bathe during my stay at the castle and there were a few things I wanted to talk him about. Don't worry, we didn't do anything else."

"Oh, no, I could never insinuate something like that about milady. I'm sorry if I insulted you." She said, bowing towards me.

"Oh, don't worry about it." I said and went back at enjoying the warmth of the fire.

When the hare had almost finished cooking I excused myself and went to change in Holiés' room. When I returned they were all three already placing small portions of minced cooked meat and vegetables on the small squares of though and I went to help them, after having to practically order Clementine to let me, considering her persistence in not having me raise a single finger in her house.

When they were all ready Clementine dropped roughly a third of them in the pot where the broth was still cooking while Clarisse put the others in a wooden box and covered them with some more flour for using them at a later day and Holiés fetched a keg of ale from a cabinet on the other side of the room from the fire.

After a few minutes we were all eating and drinking. During dinner, also thanks to the beer and food, Clementine and Clarisse slowly became less stiff around me, though they couldn't really be called relaxed.

Once we finished having dinner I talked to them about my plans on teaching Holiés some basic mana manipulation and having him come to hunt with me, to which I added a part of the quest rewards I’d receive while hunting with him. While knowing that their Holiés was already at such an high level shocked them at first, they were overjoyed about my overall plans.

Having explained everything to them I decided to retire for the night to teach Holiés, not before preparing a warm bath for the two women who almost cried out of happiness at the sole idea of finally bathing in warm water inside their own garden.