“You’re lucky we’ve got one of the rooms that actually has its own bath,” Brick said companionably as he lay Bastion down on one of the beds.

There were five single beds lined up against one wall, a long table with chairs, another fireplace, and a door at the end of the room that I guessed led to the bathroom.

“The guys find I usually smell after being on the road for a while and a dip in the river just doesn’t cut it like a nice long soak in a bath, so we stay here whenever we’re passing through or need some recovery time.”

I had to really struggle against indulging in my new favourite pastime of lusting over Brick, imagining him shrouded in steam as he relaxed in the bath. Maybe he’d take his hair out of that topknot, and it’d hang loose around his face.

I swallowed, averting my eyes back to the line-up of beds.

“Guys? There’s more than just the two of you?” I asked, trying to bring myself back out of the fantasy and into the present. Although you know what, to hell with it. This was all a delusion or something, anyway. I summoned the bath-image back to the forefront of my mind.

“There’s about five of us that regularly take missions together, but we try to do the easier ones ourselves. Less members, less ways to split the cash. The other guys in our crew are Jackal, Bruiser, and Nightfall. Jackal’s a human ranger, Bruiser’s a bear-shifter warrior, and Nightfall is a dark elf rogue specialising in magic and thievery. And of course, Bastion’s a wood elf. He should wake up soon, so you can get to meet him properly. We don’t have a Healer on board yet though, they’re kind of rare. And your kind are especially rare.”

At his description of Jackal the Ranger, I couldn’t help but picture Aragorn from Lord of the Rings joining Brick in the bath. Dang it, my mouth was starting to water again.

“What exactly is my kind?” I asked curiously. Maybe I could get an answer to the whole horn-antler debacle.

“You don’t know?” Brick quirked an eyebrow and one of his teeth jutted out from his strong jaw in a puzzled expression. “You’re a succubus.”

“Oh jeez,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Of course I am.”

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The evidence that my real body was lying face-first on one of James’ dirty magazines was getting stronger. That, or the sexual frustration I’d been experiencing over the last few months while he became more obsessive over his little fanfic world was affecting me more than I’d thought.

“You sound like you’ve had a long day. Why don’t you head into the bathroom and relax a little? I’ll knock and let you know when the food is ready.”

“Thanks,” I sighed, and looked him up and down one last time, partially to take his measure and partially to feed my imagination for bath time. That was the kind of thing I always loved to hear. Maybe my subconscious was finally going to do me some favours. I smiled at the orc. “You know, you’ve got really good manners.”

Brick’s jaw dropped, and he looked like I’d slapped him.

“What? What’d I say?” I asked, immediately remorseful. It figured I’d put my foot in it as soon as things were looking up.

“I know orcs get a bad reputation,” Brick said sullenly. “But it’s nurture, not nature. There’s nothing vile or violent about us. I was taken in by Septimius - Bastion’s biological father, and we were raised side by side. I went to university at the Citadel and came top of my class. I’m an educated guy, and my manners shouldn’t be surprising. It’s kind of racist to assume just because I’m an orc…”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it that way!” I hurried to correct him. “I don’t know anything about orcs - or this world at all, I swear - and I wasn’t intending to make some kind of statement about your… uh… race? Species? I’m new here, and if I was comparing your manners to anyone’s it was that jerk Kira’s.”

“Ah, well,” Brick laughed, at ease again. “Kira’s a sort all to herself. She was a street cat once but built her way up to owning this place a few years ago. Still enjoys trying to pull one over on people though, just to entertain herself. She’s not all bad though, once you get to know her.”

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” I said, still feeling bad.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Brick blushed a deeper shade of green. “I’m glad you’re different. A lot of people don’t like hanging out with orcs, and the stereotypes get old quick.”

“And Brick? Thanks for inviting me to stay with you and looking after me. You’re a really nice guy.”

At that, the deep green tint reached all the way down his neck where it faded at his collarbone.

“I’ll go have that bath now,” I said, slipping away before I could embarrass myself any further.

“It’ll never happen,” I heard another voice as I lingered on the other side of the door. It must be Bastion, the sneaky elf. I wondered how long he’d been conscious for.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Brick said, a little too defensively to be believable.

“You and her,” Bastion drawled. “What would a succubus want with an orc? You know I love you, Brick, but she’s leagues ahead of you, even if she is only Level One. You fall for her; you’ll get your heart broken.”

“Yeah,” Brick sighed. “Can’t help but wonder if it would be worth it, though.”