“Number Seven C!”

My landlady’s voice sent a shiver down my spine, and I forced a smile on my face as I turned to face the squat old lady that was peering at me with narrowed eyes.

“Hey Mrs. Greaves,” I said, putting my shopping bags down. “What can I do for you today?”

The old witch had had it out for me for months, since I was a little late on rent after James had spent our rent money on merch at one of his conventions. She had the memory of an elephant and the face of a gremlin. I forced my smile a little wider.

“You have a pet?”

“What? No, of course we don’t have a pet,” I said. Had she seen Bonaparte?

“No pets!” she said. “I see a pet again, I call exterminators.”

“We don’t have any pets,” I repeated, trying my best to look innocent. I’d have to make sure the little weasel stayed out of sight. Hopefully, Bruiser could keep him in line.

“You have visitors?”

“Only for a couple nights,” I said. We’d been over this a few months ago when one of my half-sisters, Leticia, had turned up demanding I let her stay with us lest she end up sleeping on the street. Our tenancy agreement said we could have visitors stay a maximum of three consecutive nights. Mrs. Greaves had threatened to evict us on the spot.

It was one of James’ redeeming qualities that he’d managed to forcibly remove her from our apartment. I’d always been a pushover when it came to my little half and step siblings. Probably because I felt so deeply in my bones how much being a part of our family sucked and I just wished someone would do the same thing for me – not that my efforts were ever recognized or returned.

Leticia’s way to thank me was to make my landlady hate me.

I didn’t want to imagine what Mrs. Greaves would do if she found out I had five visitors staying in our two-bedroom apartment.

“That’s a lot of food for only a couple nights,” Mrs. Greaves peered at the hefty bag of rice I had behind me.

“I’m buying bulk,” I laughed nervously. “It’s cheaper that way.”

She gave me another searching look, then disappeared back into her office and I let out a long breath.

I’d intended to text James and ask for a hand getting the groceries up the stairs, but now I wanted to keep everyone out of sight for as long as possible.

I heaved my bags up step after step until I got to the third floor and dragged them breathlessly to the door, which wrenched open before I even lifted my hand to the lock.

“Emma!” Jackal greeted me, picking me up and twirling me around so fast I almost threw up.

“Ugh! Put me down!” He obeyed, and I put my hand to my throbbing head. I didn’t have energy for his golden-retriever-level energy right now.

“Are you feeling sick, Emma?” Jackal asked with concern. “Did something happen?”

I shook my head and immediately regretted it. “I’m just tired. And my head hurts. Can you take the groceries in for me?”

He lifted them with an ease that made me jealous, and I followed him in, kicking my shoes off by the door. The pungent smell of sweat and fish hit me immediately, and I gagged, covering my mouth and nose with my sleeve.

It wasn’t hard to locate the source: Bruiser was sitting on the couch with Bonaparte perched on his shoulder, emanating a strong fishy scent.

“Ugh!” I winced as I uncovered my mouth, addressing Bruiser. “What did you feed him?”

“James gave me some tins of tuna.”

“Can you go give him a bath? And maybe try to brush his teeth?” I grimaced. “My landlady suspects he’s here, so you really have to make sure he’s not seen or smelled, or she’ll call the exterminators in to kill him.”

“I’d like to see her try,” Bruiser cracked his knuckles.

“No!” I said firmly. “You can’t fight your way out of problems I this world, you’ll just end up in jail.”

“How do you get by in this world, then?” Bruiser asked curiously.

“You try to behave, look small and non-threatening, and get through life without anyone noticing you,” I said, then looked over his large form. “Well, that’s what I try to do, anyway.”

“That sounds like the worst way to live,” Bruiser wrinkled his nose.

“Well… there’s a reason I like your world better than mine,” I sighed. “Look, we’ll get kicked out if she finds out you’re staying with us for long. I told her you’d only be here a couple nights. You have to keep a low profile.”

“Alright,” Bruiser sighed. “I’ll go bathe the weasel. You should take a break; you look dead on your feet.”

It was true, but it didn’t feel great to have it pointed out. I already felt self-conscious about my appearance as it was.

“Emma? Where do you want me to put these?”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

I turned back to Jackal, who was still holding the groceries, and led him into the kitchen. Brick and Bastion were crowded down one end with the oven open.

I directed Jackal to the bench, and he put his load down.

“What are you two doing?”

Brick and Bastion turned to look at me and in the gap between their shoulders, I saw the flicker of a small flame.

“What?” I shrieked. “Fire! Fire!”

I wrenched the fire extinguisher off the wall and shoved my way past Bastion to hose down the fire they’d built inside my oven, spraying an explosion of foam into it until it was completely smothered.

“What the…” Bastion gasped.

“Wh-why?” I said, panicked gasping sobs coming out of my mouth. “Whhhy?”

“Shh darling,” Brick said soothingly. “We were just going to cook some food. Isn’t that where you light your fire? That’s where James said we should do it.”

“It’s… it’s electric!” I cried through another burst of exhausted tears. “You don’t start fires in… actually, just don’t start fires anywhere, please!”

“Okay,” Brick said soothingly. “No more fires. We’ll figure out how to cook with your electric. Is it like lightning magic?”

I shook my head, crying harder as Brick tried fruitlessly to console me. My nerves had just had enough. I was exhausted, my head hurt, my feet hurt, I had foam on my hands, and I still hadn’t put the food away.

“What’s going on in here?” James poked his head in through the door. “What’s with the foam? Was there a fire?”

“Only the one we were lighting in your cooking cavity,” Bastion said calmly. James’ face paled considerably.

“Uh, yeah, that’s not how that works.”

“Could’ve told us that before,” Bastion said bitterly, glaring at my ex-boyfriend.

“Well, we should probably sort this out,” James shrugged. “Emma, do you know how to clean up fire extinguisher foam?”

I shook my head and cried harder. I was just so sick of being the one who had to fix everything.

“Come on, you’re like the queen of cleaning. You can figure out how to get rid of it.”

“Emma is tired,” Jackal said, stepping in front of me.

“We should probably crack a window,” I said, the smell starting to worsen my headache.

“You want me to crack a window?” Jackal asked, holding a fist up towards the kitchen window and looking at me in confusion.

“Uh, not crack literally. Open the window. Let the smell out.”

“Ah, okay,” Jackal nodded and opened the window, then turned back to James. “Now, you use your little fancy machine and find the answer.”

“You mean my phone?” James blinked. “I suppose I could Google it myself.”

“Emma, do you want to rest now?” Jackal asked. “If you’re tired, you can sleep.”

“I should put the groceries away first,” I said. “Some of them need to go in the fridge.”

“I can do that,” Brick cut in. “You go have a rest; you look like you’ve had a long day.”

I frowned again, grouchy at the idea that I looked just as bad as I felt. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, calming my nerves.

“Fine, just check with James if you’re not sure where it goes,” I looked around, suddenly realizing someone was missing. “Where’s Nightfall?”

“He’s reading all my source material in the office,” James said.

“Well, at least one of us is being responsible,” I sighed. It figured Nightfall would be the one to dive straight into research. Maybe when I woke up, he would have an idea about what we needed to do.

“I will guard the door,” Jackal said sternly. “And make sure you get your rest. Do you want Bastion with you? Or to be on your own?”

The question threw me, and my jaw dropped, but no coherent words came out. I tried again. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Before we got pulled to this world, you wanted time with him. Do you want him now? Or to sleep alone?”

I blinked. It was only this morning, but it felt like a lifetime ago. Bastion was looking at me hopefully, and Brick pushed him forwards supportively.

“I… okay, but I’m really tired,” I said, grabbing Bastion by the hand and pulling him with me towards my room. I might not feel very sexy at the moment, but I still liked to be held, and I hadn’t had any one-on-one time with Bastion since we’d gotten together in Dave’s dungeon.

My foot squelched in the carpet outside the bathroom, and I let out another shudder, pushing the bathroom open to see what carnage Bruiser and Bonaparte had inflicted.

“Seriously?” I said through gritted teeth.

Bruiser gave me a repentant look as Bonaparte splashed around in the overflowing bathtub like he was an otter instead of a weasel.

“Sorry, he’s harder to communicate with in this world,” Bruiser shrugged.

“This better be all cleaned up or I’m going to lose my deposit.”

“He’ll take care of it,” Jackal said, steering me away from the bathroom and giving Bruiser a poisonous look of his own.

“I will, promise,” Bruiser assured me, and his good-natured smile won me over. I couldn’t put a price on that melty feeling he gave me, not even the few thousand dollars my deposit would cost me if the carpet didn’t get saved.

Jackal took his word seriously and stationed himself at my bedroom door with the same grim expression that he had faced down skeletons and wraiths as though he was going to protect my nap-time with his life if it came to it.

A rush of affection swelled in my chest. He may be a man of few words, but he was incredibly sweet and loyal. It made me think of the way he’d piggy backed me on our adventure when I was tired, or the way he’d been so ready to volunteer to help me save Bastion. He was always so ready to help whenever I needed it, whether it was shouting down a door, facing down a necromancer or carrying in my groceries.

I touched his arm and took a moment to thank him before he gently pushed me into the room and shut the door after me with an instruction to have a good rest with a look that made me almost wish I’d pulled him into the room and shut the door with him on this side.

But I had Bastion with me now, and we’d both been waiting for this for a long time. I turned and grinned at him.

Bastion bounced onto the bed and held his arms out towards me.

“I’ve been hoping for this all day,” he confessed, as I perched myself next to him on the mattress.

I traced my eyes over his features, which had changed marginally, but were still definitively him. His ears were round instead of pointed, and his eyes and nose had lost their elvish slant. Even his chin was slightly less pointed, but he was still him.

But I was no succubus. I was just… me. Back to my boring self with my average body, uninteresting job, and crushing anxiety.

“What’s wrong?” Bastion sat up straighter, his boyish smile drooping. “You haven’t changed your mind about me, have you? If it’s because I lost my hair, I’ll get it back when we go back to our world.”

I snorted. “I don’t love you for your hair, Bastion. Or your ears, for that matter.”

He touched his ears self-consciously. I reached out and took his hands, folding them around me as I lay next to him, burying my nose in his neck. Somehow, he still smelled like the forest.

“I’m sorry I’m not in the mood for much right now, Bast. I’m really tired. And I hate how much everyone keeps reminding me how tired I look, too. I already know I’m not… I’m not perfect in this world. I’m just a human,” I whispered, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “I’m just me.”

“That’s not something you have to apologize for,” Bastion said, relaxing underneath me and stroking my hair. “I like who you are. I love getting to see you here, in the world you were born in. And you don’t owe me or anyone else sex. Ever. I only want that when you want it, not as an obligation. Holding you like this, being the one you seek comfort from… This is what I’ve been dreaming of since the day I met you.”

“Really?” I snuggled into him deeper, letting his forest smell soak into me.

“Really,” he said, kissing the crown of my head. “Besides, you’ve had days of traveling and taken down a necromancer in the past week. You deserve a long rest.”