It was lucky my cartography skills had improved my ability to read maps, because Jackal and I managed to get to the edge of the mountains after twelve hours of solid running. I didn’t want to imagine how long it might have taken us if we’d gotten lost or had to take a detour.

We crouched together and scoffed down several cinnamon rolls to replenish our energy. I felt a shift happen in my nether regions and realized with a start that James had succeeded in returning my slime! My glands were active once again.

“I don’t think there’s going to be a strategic way to do this, Jackal. We’re going to just have to shout the front door down and get in and out as soon as we can. Try not to bring the whole place down though, alright? We don’t want to crush Bastion.”

“I’ll try,” Jackal nodded. “I like doing stuff like this with you.”

“What, breaking into evil lairs?”

“Making plans. Being part of something. People don’t normally listen to me.”

I gave him a sympathetic look. “You’ve been a pretty lonely guy, haven’t you?”

“That human guy James, he made me that way, right?” Jackal asked, confusion twisting his expression. “I don’t get how, but he said I was meant to be a joke? I don’t want to be a joke.”

I placed my hand on his arm and squeezed his rock-hard bicep.

“He wasn’t the only thing that made you. He’s not your creator and you can be more than he imagined you to be,” I nodded at the base we were about to attack. “Today, you’re a hero.”

“A hero?” He perked up at that. “I think I’d like to be a hero.”

“Then let’s go save the day.”

I shouldered my bag, and we ran down the hill to the large mineshaft entrance, which had been closed off with a heavy wooden door.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Jackal unleashed his scream, and it shattered into toothpicks. We jogged inside and he continued to scream at any door in our way, destroying them rather than even trying to see if they were unlocked.

The mines were a maze of tunnels, and soon we felt completely lost. Skeletons emerged from the darkness, wielding cutlasses and spears, but they couldn’t stand up to Jackal’s roar either. Their bodies blasted apart in front of him and soon we stepped over the piles of shattered bones to the next chamber, where the process repeated.

“Dave!” I called out, hoping he could hear me. “Come give me a kiss, you sexy thing!”

“No!” he called out from the darkness beyond. “Silence! Silence!”

I grinned and called to him again, hearing him dragging his feet.

“Come on Davey-Wavey, sexy times await you!”

“Noooo-aaaaargh!” He clamored into the room. “You’ve got my armour, you bitch!”

I’d had to wrap my tail around my waist like a belt to fit in it, but it was worth it to have complete protection against his silencing spell.

“Come here, sweetness, and tell me your plans.”

“I… I’m going to kill you all, get the laptop and dominate this world. I will be a god!”

“Okay sugar, I can see there’s gonna be no two ways about this. Tell me where to find Bastion.”

“The elf is in the dungeons. All the way down that corridor.” His arm lurched, pointing down the corridor behind him.

“Thanks babe,” I grinned, cocking his own gun at him. “Stay real still for me now, won’t you?”

“Stop, we can cut a deal!” He said desperately, frozen to the spot due to my command. “We kill James and rule together. We could be together, you and I!”

“I got enough boyfriends, thanks, and you’re not my type,” I snorted and pulled the trigger, splattering his brains all over the wall. “Gross.”

I stepped over his now headless body and led Jackal down the corridor. It plateaued out into a room lined with cells. They were all empty except for the last one, where I saw Bastion shivering and bleeding on a cot where he’d been dumped.

“Jackal, can you really carefully break the door? Aim for the bolts,” I pointed to the hinges of the door.

Bastion didn’t even react as Jackal growled until the bolts wriggled their way out of their holes and fell to the floor.

“Thanks Jackal,” I said, gripping his arm. “Can you go keep watch now? Make sure no more skeletons find us? I’ll look after Bastion.”

He nodded and jogged back to the other end of the room where the entry to the dungeons was, ready for battle.

Meanwhile, I stepped into the cell. Bastion looked up at me blearily, his mind still clouded with the poison.

“Have you come to kill me?” His question was tired, defeated. I realized with the helmet on he hadn’t recognized me. I took it off immediately.

“No, Bast. I’ve come to save you.”