“Riiiise and shiiiiiine!”

“Go awaaaaaay.”

Cold, breeze-induced goosebumps rippled over my skin as the sheets were suddenly ripped off me, Sigrid looming so close over me her blonde hair tickled my face.

“No dice. Now get up, we’re going for a run.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned.

“Stop whining and just get up already. Resistance is futile.”

Sigrid had been serious about her threat, I mean promise, to whip me into shape. She gave me ninety seconds to get ready this time. She wore the spandex exercise clothes she’d had on when we first arrived, but all I could find was my Games are Everything; Everything is a Game convention t-shirt and a pair of loose pants that were among the clan clothing that I’d found in my room.

Her expression was annoyingly chipper when I emerged, and she wasted no time hustling me out onto the street. The sun had barely risen and the place was nearly deserted.

“What time is it?” I said.

“Time to move,” Sigrid said, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail before breaking out into a run. I say run, but since it was my first time it was more of a brisk walk interspersed with brief periods of somewhat faster walking punctuated by occasional pauses as I leaned against a nearby building and tried not to pass out. My lungs burned. My thighs burned. My calves burned. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that she mostly ran a few steps ahead of me in an effort to keep the pace lively, and it gave me the chance to admire some things: specifically, how shockingly easy this was for her, the hypnotic way her ponytail bobbed from side to side, and the undisputed beauty of spandex. Honestly, though, her effortless, almost lazy strides and the joy she seemed to take from this simple exercise inspired me to put in the effort. How often does a guy like me get the chance to get himself into shape under the expert tutelage of a very kind, very athletic, very beautiful woman?

If only it didn’t hurt so much. Why did they have to match these Player bodies to our real ones so accurately? Would it really have hurt to give me good cardio to start with?

As we ran-walked, the streets began to come alive. NPCs mostly, opening shops and going about their programmed business, joined by a few other Players getting a quick start on the day. A few of these players sought an early breakfast at one of the restaurants, but most of them headed outside the city, armed and ready for adventure. As expected, these gamers were quick to adapt to their isekai experience.

It’s hard to say for sure how long we’d been running when I puked. It felt like hours but it was probably no more than twenty minutes, and most of that was spent walking. I really was in horrible shape.

“See anybody worth recruiting so far?” Sigrid asked me as I emerged from the alley I’d ducked into to throw up.

“Nobody has leaped out at me yet,” I wheezed, hoping there wasn’t any barf on my chin or anything. “Most people are pretty average.”

She faced me and started jogging slowly backward. “Are you saying my awesomeness has set your standards unachievably high?”

“I know you’re joking, but that might actually be the case.”

“Who said I was joking?”

An indeterminate amount of time and one stomach cramp later, I spotted Byron and Nina sitting on a bench jabbing their fingers into the air in front of them, a gesture I’d come to associate with Players interacting with their Status screens. I was overjoyed to see them, not only because I’d really been hoping to run into them again — after seeing so many mediocre Players I now appreciated just how good their abilities were and really wanted them on the team — but also because I would’ve strangled a kitten if it meant I could take a break from running.

“Hey Sigrid, over there,” I huffed. “Those are the two I mentioned yesterday.”

We jogged over to them. “Hi Byron,” I gasped. “Hi Nina.” They looked up from the bench and smiled.

“Oh, hi,” Byron said. “Uh...” It was clear he recognized me but had forgotten my name.

“Daniel,” Nina said, “hello.” Of course she remembered, she had an eidetic memory.

“I’m Sigrid, really nice to meet you.”

“You too. Wow, look at you, out running. Trying to make the rest of us look bad, huh?”

“Nah, just trying to get this chump into shape so he doesn’t drag me down.”

Nina laughed. “I’ve given up trying to do anything about this one,” she said, jerking her head towards Byron.

Sigrid and Nina began chatting like old friends while Byron and I watched in silent awe.

“So listen,” Sigrid said after a while. “You know how we all have this quest, right?” She went on to explain everything about my special quest and how we would love to have them on our team.

“Well of course!” Nina said. “Daniel, we already told you yesterday we’d love to be on the same team as you.”

Sigrid looked at me with a bit of a scowl. “You didn’t tell me you’d already asked them.”

“I didn’t, not exactly. I only suggested it would be great if we ended up on the same team.”

Sigrid rolled her eyes. “Aaaaanyway,” she said, turning back to Nina, “the rest of us are all meeting up at the gazebo in the town square when the quest timer’s at six hours. The plan is to head out for adventure and see what happens. You in?”

“Sounds great!” Nina said. She turned to me. “See you later then, Daniel.”

“Yeah. See you later,” I said. Byron and I made eye contact and shared that look and little shrug that all men have made to one another since time immemorial when women have taken the liberty, I mean initiative, to establish plans for them. It’s the cornerstone of civilization. Without women doing that we’d all still be living alone in dank caves illuminated solely by neon Budweiser signs.

Sigrid and I set off again. “You don’t mind I did that, do you? Telling them about your quest and all?”

“No, of course not.”

“That’s what I thought. I probably should’ve checked first, but I figured the quest was safe to talk about, I’m not about to go telling anybody about your abilities.”

“No worries,” I said.

“So we need to be back at the dojo at ten hours on the quest timer for training, so we’ve still got about forty-five minutes. Wanna grab some breakie?”

“You mean there’s kung fu training after this?”

“Buck up, buttercup,” she said.

“No pain, no gain?”

“That’s a terrible way to look at exercise, but in your case it’s accurate.” She laughed at my groan. “Don’t worry, like everything else it gets easier once you get past the initial hell.”

We found a little sidewalk cafe off the town square where we thought there’d be a good amount of traffic. The goal was to evaluate as many people as we could to find the diamonds in the rough. The strong pressure in my bladder begged for release, so I excused myself to take care of it, leaving Sigrid alone to order food. When I returned, much relieved, I found her no longer by herself. Two other women were sitting across from her at our table. I took a moment to evaluate them, and when I saw one of the women’s Status full of hidden abilities I knew what was going on. Another team builder was trying to poach my Sigrid.

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Over my dead and respawned body.

I rushed over to the table, ready to argue my case for keeping Sigrid on my team, but I needn’t have worried. When I got there, she was laughing with the other women about something. She saw me and smiled.

“Hey Daniel,” she said.

The other women looked at me. The team builder, a tall, fit woman in her twenties named Tiff Gardner, sized me up. I knew I’d just been evaluated. “So this is the guy, eh?” she said.

“This is him,” Sigrid said, patting the seat beside her. I sat down.

“This is me,” I said.

“Would you believe it,” Sigrid said, “Tiff here recognized me from my fitness videos.”

“Long-time subscriber,” Tiff said. I could tell by the well-defined muscles in her arms and shoulders that Meowmeow was not the reason she watched.

“And that’s Grace,” Sigrid said, picking up a glass of water and gesturing with it at the other woman. If I hadn’t already seen her Status, I still would’ve known about her abilities by the longbow leaning against her chair.

Grace waved. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I said. “I’m Daniel. It’s nice to meet you both.”

Sigrid took a sip of the water. “I was just telling them that I’m flattered they’d want me on their team, but that I already joined yours, so...”

“You sure I can’t convince you to change your mind?” Tiff said.

Sigrid shook her head and her long blonde ponytail brushed my shoulder. “Sorry.”

Tiff nodded. “I’m disappointed, but I respect your loyalty and your decision. I won’t bug you again.”

Two NPCs approached the table, laden with plates of food. “You guys want to join us for breakfast?” Sigrid said.

Tiff stood abruptly. “Thanks, but no. We’ve intruded enough.” Grace took the hint and stood up too. “I hope we meet again.”

“I look forward to it,” Sigrid said. “It’s a small city, I’m sure we will.”

Tiff nodded once, then spun on her heel and started walking away. Grace followed her, but not before taking a longing look at the plates of food the NPCs were spreading on the table.

“They seemed nice,” I said. “You know, it’s okay. If you’d rather—”

“I’m gonna cut you off right there,” Sigrid said. “What I’d rather do is enjoy this food here with you, then get back to finding more people for our team. Got a problem with that?”

“Nope. No problem here.”

“Good.” She jabbed her elbow into me. “Not scoot back over to the other side. You’re cramping my style.”

I switched seats to be opposite her, then as I replaced what I’d left on the ground in the alley with eggs and bacon and sausage and fishcakes (Sigrid seemed to have ordered everything she could find on the menu with protein), I scanned everyone passing by in search of our newest recruit.

“Oh, hey, he’s got some nice powers.”

Scott MacLean Affinity: Air - Novice Gifts:

Eagle Eye - Telescopic vision

Powers:

Don’t Move - Novice: Can become almost undetectable when motionless

I Know Where You Are - Novice: Awareness of the location and movements of everyone within line of sight

Skills:

Accounting - Novice

Archery - Competent

Sigrid gave him a look, then shuddered. “Nope.”

“You sure? He’d make a kick-ass scout or sniper.”

“Still a no. He makes my spidey-sense tingle in the not-good way.

“Look at you, using nerdy superhero references. You’re gonna fit right in.”

“Oh please. The Avengers movies were only, like, the biggest grossing big budget flicks of the last twenty years. You don’t have to be a nerd to know about the spidey-sense.”

“Right.”

“We make a good team, you know,” Sigrid said. “Your evaluating and my danger sensing. It worked really well last night against the wolves, and just now it helped avoid bringing a disruptor onto the team.”

“You’re right,” I said. “Does that mean you’re keeping me?”

She looked off toward the middle of the courtyard and sipped her juice. “Sure, just so long as I don’t catch you staring at my ass too often.”

I could feel my face flush. Busted.

“Sorry, but I am only human, you know,” I said.

She laughed and slapped the table. “I knew it! You were staring at my ass!”

“Come on! That was a dirty trick!”

“Don’t sweat it,” she said. “To be honest, most guys are pretty shameless about it. I’m well aware that this ass accounts for at least half of the subscribers to my YouTube channel. Meowmeow the cat accounts for the rest, of course. But I’ve never once caught you leering at me like that. Or Jane, for that matter, which is mind-boggling. I was beginning to think either I’d lost my touch or there was something wrong with you.”

“I could be gay,” I said.

“Nah,” she said. “A girl can tell. You might be bi, hard to tell, but you definitely fancy the ladies.”

“Well, I do admire the female shape, I just try to be discreet about it. I don’t wanna be that guy, you know?”

She smiled at me. “I do know. And that’s one more reason why I’m sitting here with you and not Tiff.”

I smiled back. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had joined her. You’d probably have more fun with her.”

”You’re a good guy, Daniel. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“Too bad you’re not my type. You could’ve had a shot at this.” She gestured at her body, running her hands down it like Vanna White showing off a Wheel of Fortune puzzle.

“Story of my life, Sigrid. Good thing you’re not my type, either.”

She laughed. “Bull. Shit. I’m everyone’s type, baby.”

It had almost become habit by that point to use All Shall Be Revealed on everyone I saw, and I noticed someone interesting approaching us.

“Ready to try again, Sigrid?”

“Always,” she said. “Who’s the target?”

I nodded over her shoulder at a younger guy, in his late teens I’d guess, very dark skin, and slim with the sort of face that gave rise to the term chiseled features. The sort of guy who is so good-looking that someone like me looks even worse when next to him. Probably how normal women must feel around Sigrid and Jane. I remembered singling him out at the convention as being really good at collectible card games.

Sam Craig Affinity: Nature - Novice Gifts:

Glass Half Full - Improved mana recovery

Powers:

Beastmaster - Novice: Take control of summoned creature and use its senses; Affinity with Nature required

Green Thumb - Novice: Create and control flora; Affinity with Nature required

Minions, Arise - Novice: Summon creatures

Skills:

Music - Novice

“Whoah, he’s a hottie,” Sigrid said. “Pity I’m not his type.”

“I thought you were everyone’s type.”

“Yeah, well. Almost everyone.”

“Any red flags?”

“Nope. Let’s go say hi.”

We’d finished eating so I tossed a few coins onto the table. Sigrid gave me a scowl, picked up half of them and handed them back to me before replacing them with ones from her own purse, and then we went after Sam. I let Sigrid do all the talking again, and in no time they were chatting like old friends. Sam was a little shy at first but he quickly opened up. He was eighteen, emigrated from Kenya when he was little, taking environmental studies at the University of Toronto but his real passion was the band he played drums and sang for, and yes, he’d love to join the team. We parted ways agreeing to meet up with the rest at high noon, T-minus 6 hours.

After we were far enough away to be out of earshot I said, “I like him.”

“Me too,” Sigrid said. “And by the way, totally gay.”

“Really? So that’s why you said you’re not his type.”

“A girl can tell. Why is it always the hot ones?”

“I’m sitting right here,” I said.

“Oh don’t worry, I am sure there must be girls out there somewhere who find you attractive,” she said with a bewitching grin.

“Perhaps at a school for the blind and deaf,” I sighed.

Her grin vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “I was joking.”

“Sure.”

“Daniel,” she said, then seemed to change her mind.

I let it slide. “Well, the good news is now we only need to recruit one more and we’re done.”

She took a moment before replying, and I got the impression she wanted to say something else, but she let it slide too. Then it was like whatever dark cloud that had passed between us had blown away and the spritely girl from the convention booth was back.

“Good job. Time to head back.“ She began running on the spot.

“Can’t we just walk the rest of the way?”

“Nah, let’s make this last bit count.” She started to jog down Dagger Street toward the Dragon Clan. I groaned, and she called back to me over her shoulder. “Come on, if you can keep up I won’t complain if you stare at my ass the whole way back.” Then she slapped it and broke out into a full-on run.

I chased after her, doing my best not to fall too far behind, and keeping my eyes far away from the spandex. Even if I had permission, I still wasn’t gonna be that guy. I somehow managed to keep up, but in retrospect, I’m pretty sure that’s only because she let me.