Madame Devorah finished applying her makeup at the mirror then stood up. “If it was my choice I’d let you sleep a little longer, but there are some people down in the lobby quite insistent that you get up. Sorry.”

“People?” My mouth felt sticky. I tried scraping the caterpillar off my tongue with my upper teeth.

The Madame wiggled across the room to the wardrobe. She stood with her back to me, then let the dressing gown fall off her shoulders to the floor. I saw the flash of bare skin and instinctively put my hand over my eyes.

“Your friends,” she said. “At least I assume that’s who they are. Andy’s with them.”

“You know Andy?”

She giggled. “Oh, I know Andy.”

I started piecing together the story of the night before in my head. “Andy,” I muttered. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“You can open your eyes, hun,” she said softly. “I’m decent.”

I let my hand drop and opened my eyes a crack. Madame Devorah was still at the wardrobe, wearing nothing but some skimpy underwear that was composed almost entirely of lace. I could only imagine what she considered indecent.

It was only then that I realized that even though I was in bed — in her bed — I was still completely dressed. I saw my boots lined up neatly beside the door under my armored coat hanging on a hook.

Seriously, what the hell happened last night? The curiosity burned, but I was too shy to ask. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.

She rifled through the clothes hanging in the wardrobe. “There’s a bathroom right over there if you want to freshen up a bit before going downstairs.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I think I will. Thanks.”

The bathroom was small but impeccably clean. There was a large pitcher of fresh water so I poured some into the basin and splashed some onto my face while avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. I literally couldn’t face myself. I felt my stomach contract with the urge to hurl, but there wasn’t anything left in it to purge so I just dry-heaved a bit. I must’ve thrown it all up during the night.

I lingered there for a while to give Madame Devorah ample time to get dressed, and when I finally emerged I found her waiting for me wearing a surprisingly modest outfit consisting of a knee-length pencil skirt under a dark blazer, her thick dark hair mounded on her head in a loose bun. She looked very professional, just not what I would’ve expected from her particular profession.

She waited while I put on my coat and boots, then led me out to face the music.

I saw the lobby as though for the first time. I must’ve been through it the night before, but I had no memory of it. It was a large, open space with several seating areas arranged within it. Two massive staircases curved up to the second floor. Devorah and I stood at the top of one of these. I looked down to see several people in the lobby. There were a number I didn’t recognize, clearly Madame Devorah’s employees, along with a few that I did: Andy, of course, as well as Sigrid, Arthur, and, unfortunately, Jane.

I may not have recognized the NPCs down below, but they seemed to know me. One of them was the first to notice us at the top of the stairs, a younger woman wearing a simple pair of loose-fitting pants and a peasant shirt. Now that I noticed, all the, er, employees were dressed casually, and they were all women. The Gentlemen’s Club must not have been open yet so they were all in their civvies.

The woman who noticed us called out. “Good morning, Daniel!”

All eyes turned up toward us. The other NPCs gave similarly warm welcomes, all addressed to me, and all using my name in a disturbingly familiar way.

“Uh, hi?” I said.

I looked at each of my friends in turn. Andy couldn’t make eye contact. Sigrid’s expression started out concerned, but once she saw I was okay it turned to amusement. Arthur seemed exasperated. I couldn’t tell what Jane was thinking.

Looking down from the top of the stairs was making me feel a bit queasy, and the constant throbbing in my head wasn’t showing any signs of going away. I cursed this accursed world and its lack of handy dandy pharmaceuticals. My kingdom for some acetaminophen. Then I remembered: who needs drugs? One quick use of my modified healing power on myself and I could feel almost normal again. But I decided not to take the easy way out. I’d serve my penitence and endure the hangover I deserved.

I heaved a sigh and followed Devorah down the stairs.

“Took you long enough,” Sigrid said once we’d joined them on the floor of the lobby. “What the hell happened last night?”

“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” I said.

“Pretending not to remember, huh? Not a bad plan,” Sigrid said with a teasing grin, then came over. I flinched, expecting a punch, but I got a hug instead. “You had me worried sick, you know.”

“Sorry,” I said.

“It’s okay,” she said, letting go of me. “It’s not your fault. It’s his!” She turned and gave Andy the punch I’d been anticipating.

Andy rubbed his arm, but didn’t complain. I guess I wasn’t the only penitent one there.

“So what did happen last night?” Jane said to me. “These bozos aren’t telling us anything.”

Arthur scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “We figured she ought to hear it from you,” he said.

Why was Arthur smirking like that? If I didn't know better I'd think he was enjoying this.

“Come on then, spill,” Jane said.

“I’d love to tell you,” I said, “but I honestly don’t remember a thing. I don’t even remember leaving the bar.”

“How convenient,” Jane said. Her tone surprised me. I would’ve expected Jane to be the amused one and Sigrid the angry one. Why was this all reversed?

Madame Devorah must’ve sensed the tension. She slid quickly into professional mode and began disarming the situation. “There’s some time before we open, so why don’t we all have a seat and try to piece together the mystery of Daniel’s very eventful evening for him, hmm? Tasha, could you please fetch us some tea?”

Very eventful? That sounded ominous.

Tasha, the woman who’d first greeted me, hopped up from the chair she’d been lounging on. “Sure thing. Are you hungry, Daniel? Think you can eat something?”

“Uh, no thanks,” I said. Then my stomach betrayed me with a loud growl.

Another of the NPCs came over and ruffled my hair. Her name was Felicity. Somehow I knew that without using my power to see. “Silly boy. Let me whip you up some breakfast.” She and the one named Tasha scampered off.

Devorah gestured to the largest of the seating areas and we went over to sit down as a group. Sigrid took the closest chair, and Arthur sat at one end of a loveseat. Jane plopped herself down beside him, while Andy sat squeezed between two NPCs on another loveseat. They both seemed to know him, and rather well. He looked like a guilty schoolchild waiting outside the Principal’s office. Devorah perched on the largest chair like a reigning monarch, while I had a large, overstuffed chair to myself. Well, not entirely.

Two of the NPCs lounged on either arm of my chair, acting like they knew me quite well too. I really wished they wouldn’t. Everyone else flocked around us, using up the rest of the seats and pulling over a few more from other areas so we could all fit. A couple of them chose to sit on the floor, one taking a spot directly in front of my chair. She was about to lean back against my legs, but I shifted them out of the way before she could.

Somehow, I knew all of their names.

Andy sat there like a lump, eyes glued to the floor. Arthur looked around, taking everything in, while both Sigrid and Jane kept staring at me. Suddenly, I felt one of the women sitting on the arm of my chair touch my ear. No, not just touch. She stroked it. I flinched.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Sorry, Daniel,” she said. “I can’t help it.”

“He didn’t mind it so much last night,” said the one on the other arm as she stroked my other ear.

“Huh?” I put my hands over my ears. Something felt wrong. Why were they pointy?

“I was going to ask why you’re an elf but I figured we’d get there in good time,” Sigrid said with a wide grin. “Besides, I was worried if I pointed it out you might—”

I turned off my Stop Staring At My Ears power and felt my ears change back to normal, along with the rest of me.

“Darn,” Sigrid said. “You did.”

One of the women beside me tapped me playfully on the head. “Aw, you switched back to human. Party pooper.”

“Can we get back to the topic at hand,” Jane said. “I’d very much like to know what nonsense this idiot was up to last night.”

“You and me both,” I said. “Andy?”

Andy peeked up at me. I’ve never seen anybody look so guilty. “Yeah?” he squeaked.

“Could you please tell me what happened to me after we left the bar last night? Actually, never mind. I have a feeling I won’t get the full story out of you. Arthur, can you tell me instead?”

“I wish I could,” Arthur said, “but I don’t know the whole story myself. I left early to bring Byron home, so I wasn’t there when you, uh, took the party here.”

"You're a real boy scout, Arthur," Sigrid said. While I was curious about why there was sarcasm in the way she said it, I was more interested in knowing how I ended up in a brothel.

I turned back to Andy. “Looks like you’re up after all. If the witness would care to take the stand?”

Andy sighed, then sat up straight. The women of the Gentlemen’s Club were all grinning and looking at each other expectantly. I had the feeling they already knew the story but were excited to hear it again.

“Well, it all started while we were still at the bar,” Andy said. “Arthur and Byron left first. Byron was starting to get a bit sloppy so Arthur dragged him back to Nina.”

“Good boy,” Jane said, patting Arthur’s leg. His handsome face spread into a happy smile.

Those two really were getting pretty close, weren’t they? Even I had to admit, they made a good couple. If it weren’t for Jane, he’d be my top pick as the main hero. All of a sudden, Jane quickly pulled her hand away from his leg. I realized I'd been staring at her hand on his thigh so looked up to see she was looking at me. Our eyes met for a flash then she looked away just as quickly and folded both her hands neatly in her lap.

Andy was still talking. “Wayne left shortly after with Lance, and Sam took off with a new friend, so it was just me, Daniel, Bruce, and Galahad.”

“How did Daniel get so drunk so fast he doesn’t remember all that?” Sigrid said. “He’s usually pretty good about pacing himself.”

“Well, I may have been keeping his glass full so he didn’t know how much he was drinking,” Andy said, uncharacteristically meekly. “And there may have been shots involved.”

A sudden memory clicked in. “Oh yeah. I seem to remember doing a shot with you.”

“It was more than a shot,” Andy said, emphasizing the singular indefinite article.

“Go on,” Jane said.

“I guess we were getting a bit rowdy,” Andy said. “And, well, some loudmouths from another team started shit-talking Daniel.”

“Who was it?” Sigrid said, hackles raised.

“A few of those jerks from Team Overgeared,” Andy said. “They were pretty wasted themselves.”

“Which ones are they again?” Jane said.

“Remember those pervs who were hitting on Chika?” I said.

“Oh. Those guys,” Jane said, wrinkling her nose.

“Yeah,” Andy said. “I didn’t like what they were saying so I was gonna start something, but Daniel just started singing that song so I, you know, shook it off.”

“Haters gotta hate,” Jane said.

Andy nodded enthusiastically, starting to warm up to his role as center of attention. “Exactly, right? But they wouldn’t let it go and were really mouthy and started getting all up in our faces and stuff.”

“I don’t think I like where this is going,” Jane said.

“Don’t worry,” one of the women beside me said. Her name was Niobe. “It gets really good soon.”

“You’ve heard about all this?” Jane said.

Niobe tousled my hair. “Oh yeah. We got the whole story last night.”

Tasha came back pushing a cart with the tea. She began pouring for everyone using the now-familiar ceremonial motions, and for some reason I flashed back to Ruka. What would she make of all this? Wait, what if she was the real mastermind behind this establishment. She was a succubus, after all. It would make sense.

Andy’s voice pulled me back to the present. “So yeah,” he said, “anyway, they kept going at Daniel saying all kinds of garbage, but this guy here just kept shrugging it off.”

“Shaking,” Jane said. “Shaking it off.”

“Let it go,” Sigrid moaned, then immediately regretted it when Jane started singing the Frozen song.

“I thought you were the one who wanted to hear all this, Jane,” Arthur said diplomatically.

“You’re right. Sorry,” Jane said, making a zipper motion across her lips.

“What happened next, Andy?” Sigrid said.

Andy seemed happy at Sigrid’s encouragement and he launched back into the story. “I guess it pissed them off that they couldn’t get a rise out of him, so one thing led to another and one of those guys literally pulls out a glove and slaps Daniel across the face with it.” Andy’s guilty schoolboy routine had completely slipped away. He was totally absorbed in telling the story and had become the vibrant Andy we were all used to again. “An actual glove,” Andy said again with a sly grin, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Men are ridiculous,” Jane said.

“Please tell me you didn’t just ignore that,” Sigrid said at the same time. She and Jane peered at each other. Their reactions had been the exact opposite, and they both looked at each other as if to ask what’s wrong with you?

“Yeah, no,” Andy said. “That did it. Our boy here just stood up and chugged back the rest of his drink, then he says fine, you wanna go, lesh go, and marches us out of the bar.” The way he slurred his words when quoting me sparked a few amused titters among the NPCs, which seemed to make Andy very happy.

“A duel in the street, huh?” Sigrid said.

Andy shook his head. “Nope. The other guy wanted to, but Daniel wouldn’t do it there. Said it had to be done properly or something.”

“What does that mean?” Jane said.

“We were all wondering the same thing, but then Daniel staggers across the town square right on over to the arena. Turns out the gate isn’t locked up very tight so it wasn’t hard to squeeze through and get inside. Don’t ask me how Daniel knew about that, but he just slipped right in like it was the normal thing to do.”

“It wasn’t his first time,” Sigrid said, and I knew she was remembering when I’d told her and Jane about my first night on Crucible and getting the crap beat out of me by Kiki and her boys.

“Yeah, well, next thing I know, we’re all there on the arena floor in the dark when all of a sudden that purple-haired hottie’s there too,” Andy said.

“You mean Annabelle?” Arthur said. Jane gave him a look, then he added, “What? I have a good memory for names.”

“And hotties, apparently,” Jane said, then turned back to Andy. “Go on.”

“I thought we were in deep shit,” Andy said, “but then Daniel staggers over and has a few words with her and, wham bam boom, the place lights up. Like, literally. The ceiling turns into one big lamp shining down on us.”

“What did he say to her?” Arthur said.

Andy shrugged. “Whatever it was, it worked. A stupid drunken bar argument had turned into this official battle against other Players and Annabelle agreed to oversee it. I think she’s in charge of the arena or something.”

“At least you acknowledge it was stupid,” Jane said.

“So next thing Annabelle’s asking what the terms and stuff were gonna be for the fight, like how the winner would be decided and what weapons or abilities could be used, and if they wanted to attach stakes to the result.

“Like a wager?” Arthur said.

“Yeah, those arseholes wanted to bet that the loser would have to pay a hundred gold to the winner.”

“That’s crazy. Daniel would never agree to that,” Sigrid said.

“But he did. Without hesitation. Even upped it to two hundred.”

“Daniel! You didn’t!” Sigrid said, blue eyes wide with shock.

It was my turn to shrug. “Who knows? I might have.”

“You did,” Andy said. “But get this. She even asked whether or not respawning should be possible.”

“You’re kidding. A duel to the death-death?” Sigrid said, sounding alarmed, much more than about the wager. This time she glared at me. “You didn’t.”

“No, he didn’t,” Andy said. “Daniel insisted that if someone died, they were guaranteed to come back.”

Sigrid relaxed. “Thank god. I don’t want you taking risks like that, Daniel.”

Andy grinned. “I don’t think he did it for his sake. I think he did it to protect those other guys.”

“From what?” Jane said.

“From him!” Andy said, pointing at me. “I mean...it’s like...damn, you should’ve been there. It was a-mazing!”

Jane’s gaze slowly swept over to me, then her eyes locked on and she stared at me. No, more like she scrutinized me.

“Really?” she said, her nose wrinkled as if the very idea left a bad taste in her mouth, the kind you get when you're told that whatever it was you just ate, it certainly wasn't ham.

I mean, I got her scorn and doubt and all that, but it still hurt a bit that it would be so inconceivable to her that I could’ve done something amazing.

When Andy didn’t say anything I just shrugged. “Jeepers creepers, don’t look at me. I can neither confirm nor deny the veracity of these purported events.” Jane scowled at me. “Your honor,” I added. Sigrid snorted at that, but Jane reaction was barely noticeable. It wasn’t much of a smile, perhaps only the faintest hint of one, but I swear I saw it there, dancing, just on the edge of her lips.

“So what happened in the fight?” Sigrid said.

“You aren’t gonna believe it,” Andy said.