When the banquet and afterparty were finally over and the last of the fireworks had lit up the sky, I went back to the forest with the elves. All in all, the day had been a success. A solid foundation of good relations between the city and the elves had been established and mutual trade reopened, and Players had been thoroughly discouraged from messing around in the forest. I hoped. And if they ever forgot, the stone statues of those few Players who’d come across the Gorgon before they could turn tail and run were left along the path into the village as grim reminders.
Even though I’d taken measures against another attack, I was still kind of surprised it happened. You’d think the death-death of four Players in the fiasco of the first attack would discourage another try, but I suppose the prospect of hitting the village when most of its soldiers were gone was too tasty to resist.
This second attack was different, too. They’d brought more attackers this time. There’d been over fifty Players involved this time, several complete teams plus a bunch of unaffiliated. I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they ran into a well-coordinated ambush of over a hundred monsters who were not elves.
First, a warning shot by the centaurs, laying down a barrage of arrows into the ground in front of the Players coming along the path. The ones who tried sneaking through the forest to flank the town met lamias and statues while harpies swooped down on them from the tree-tops trying to chase them away, while the Cyclops and Minotaur ran around bashing people who couldn't take the hint. For those along the path who decided to brave the gauntlet and continue forward, the Gorgon did her best to show them the folly of their ways.
None of the attackers made it far enough to see a single elf. Luckily, only a few had died before they retreated because I'd given instructions to avoid killing if possible, and everyone who had been killed had respawned. The Gorgon was responsible for most of those deaths -- it isn't really possible for her to pull her petrifying punches -- and I did take pleasure in knowing that if those Players ever went down the path into the elf village again they’d see humiliating reminders of their crushing defeat every time they looked at the stone monuments of themselves with expressions of shock and terror forever frozen on their faces.
Perhaps involving the Gorgon had been a bit of overkill, but nobody, and I mean nobody, gets to mess with what's mine.
I did regret not being able to see Team Invinctus and Team Overpowered when they got beaten back, though. They’d both been involved in the attack, along with Team Droogs, and I had a bit of a bone to pick with both teams. The biggest surprise was that Kiki’s Team N3m3s1s wasn’t part of it.
And sure, I was a bit ticked that I was the only Player who didn’t get the quest to attend the banquet, but I heard later that I wasn’t the only Player who didn’t get the Random Gift Box reward at the end: the ones involved in the attack did not get the reward either, which made that bitter pill considerably easier to swallow. At least everyone else got something. All in all, the day’s goods outweighed the bads.
When I finally got back to my tree house I was in for another surprise. A light was on and the silhouette of someone, or something, moved around inside. Of all the days. With a sigh, I summoned a mouse and sent it scampering in to spy.
Through its beady little vermin eyes I saw that there was indeed someone in my kitchen. I immediately regretted the choice of a mouse, its eyesight wasn’t great and it was difficult to make out much detail unless it was really close. I made the rodent climb up onto a counter and get as close as possible without being seen, and was able to make out that the intruder was a woman. I couldn't see her very clearly but I could at least tell she wasn’t an elf, nor anyone I recognized.
She was taking something out of the oven. Whatever it was, the mouse really liked the smell of it.
When she came over and put a baking sheet down on the countertop she looked straight at the mouse and smiled.
“Are you coming in or do you plan to spy on me all night?” she said. “There’s tea ready, come before it gets cold.”
Why today?
I figured anyone who’d break in to bake for me didn’t pose an immediate threat, and I was tired after a long day, so I banished the mouse and entered the house myself. Although not before I took a few safety precautions, of course.
Entering the kitchen, I finally got a good look at my uninvited guest. She glanced up at me from the fresh batch of cookies she'd removed from the oven with a dazzling smile.
Okay, so here’s the thing. You know how I’ve been gushing over how beautiful Jane and Sigrid were? And Morgan. Heck, Kay was really pretty and Nina was a head-turner too. Objectively speaking, Chika was an undeniable cutie, though I could never tell her that. Even Kiki was downright foxy if I’m being totally honest. And that waitress. NPCs too, like Alice and the rest of my doppels. And Petal; all the elves, really. And the Gorgon, now that I was able to get a proper look at her without turning to stone. That purple-haired ring announcer Annabelle and that pink-haired S-Ranker Akari. And...you get the idea.
So yeah. Somehow I’d found myself surrounded by beauty on all sides. It had been so long now since the convention where all this started, I was beginning to suspect that the re-creation of our human bodies into Player form hadn’t been completely faithful. I thought that there was a good chance we’d all been subtly changed to make us better looking. I mean, only a few hours earlier Jane had kind of praised my looks so you know something had to be up.
I could only assume the abnormally high level of attractiveness around me was the legacy of where this scenario had been drawn from: the characters in anime and movies and comics and such are all much better looking than the people you’d find in the real world. It certainly seemed to be the case here too.
And yet, this mystery woman left everyone in the dust. She was incredibly gorgeous. No, scratch that: she was impossibly gorgeous. Sleek, black hair flowing down her back in soft waves. Bright silver eyes that pierced the soul when they looked at you. A face that defied description and a smile that was the sort of thing that inspired a person to write flowery prose.
She wasn’t dressed sexy, not at all. She was wearing an apron, which would have been alluring if there was nothing under it, but after she’d carried the cookies to the counter she removed it revealing black capris and a black turtleneck sweater that she wore with a confidence that somehow elevated these simple, casual clothes to an effortless elegance. The sweater had a cozy bagginess to it, but even then it couldn’t hide her lithe feminine shape. Curves in all the right places and a way of moving that oozed sensuality. It was positively jarring.
Nobody looks that good. It’s just not possible.
Who the hell was this woman?
Daruka Demon Succubus Powers:
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Skills:
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Well that explained it. Demon Succubus, eh? Maybe she didn’t actually look as good as she seemed, maybe it was magic. Like an illusion. Or maybe it was pheromones. Or some other kind of power that only made it seem like she smashed the very concept of an idealized woman. Who knows what tricks succubi have up their sleeves to make men swoon. That must’ve been why I couldn’t stop looking at her. Yeah, that had to be it.
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Wait. That dark hair. Those silver eyes.
“You were the one riding the Ant Queen,” I said.
“I’m impressed,” she said in a voice like a down-filled pillow. “Although, all things considered, I probably shouldn't be surprised. Go sit, I’ll bring the tea and cookies.”
I had no idea what was happening. It was too surreal. I could only assume I’d somehow triggered a flag and entered a unique game event, so all I could do was go along with the absurdity and see where it led.
First I needed to figure out why she was here, then I could figure out how to react. I didn’t want this to turn into a guns a-blazing situation in the middle of elf-town. Besides, I had no idea how strong she really was so if there was a way to get through this without fighting, I’d take it. I decided to see what I could learn.
“Before that, I have two questions,” I said. “Whether or not we get to the second question depends on how you answer the first, and whether or not we sit and enjoy tea together depends on the second.”
Her silver eyes widened. “Are we playing a game?” she said.
“Everything is a game.”
A look came over her face, as though a cloud that I hadn’t even known was hanging overhead before had suddenly passed and now she was illuminated by a setting sun, all flushed with color and aglow with an even greater radiance. She was dazzling before, now it almost hurt to look at her.
"What's the first question?" she said, leaning forward with a big grin.
“Is this a social call?” I said.
The grin drooped a bit. "Ye-e-s?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
“Well I’m just not quite sure what you mean. There’s a lot riding on answering this correctly.”
“What I mean is, are you visiting me socially or...professionally? By the way, the correct answer is the honest one.”
“Am I allowed to answer yes if what brings me here is a bit of both?”
Clever demon.
“That sounds honest to me,” I said.
She clapped her hands softly. “Yay, I think I passed.”
“Second question. This one’s a bit personal.”
“Oh I like those. Go on.”
“Where are your horns?”
She made no effort to hide her surprise, but recovered quickly. “You do realize not all demons have horns, I hope.”
“But you do.”
“How do you...?” she said. “Oh. You saw me with the ants.”
“I only caught a glimpse of you then but it was good enough to notice the horns. I’m just wondering why you had them then but not now.”
“Honest answer: I can hide them. I usually do that when talking to humans unless they have a horn kink, which you don't, so I hid them.”
Doppelgangers were able to read a target’s mind, so it would make sense that a Demon Succubus, a wolf in woman’s clothing, would have some kind of similar ability to sniff out her target's pervy secrets. All the better to seduce you with, my dear.
“I’d like you to bring the horns back again, please.”
“Why? Wouldn't it be more social without them?”
“I don't think so, because if you show your horns even though you know I don’t have a fetish for horns, that means you're not acting professionally."
“Because the professional thing to do would be looking as attractive to you as possible,” she said.
“And appear without horns, exactly,” I said.
“I think you just like to say horns,” she said with a Jane-rank smile as two small, bone-white horns spouted from just behind her temples, did a tight three-sixty curl, and ended in blunt, narrow tips not far from the edges of her eyebrows.
"Wow. You actually did it."
“Of course. I want this to be a mostly social call from a friendly neighbor, after all," she said. "Can I at least keep my wings hidden?"
Mostly social, but not entirely. Good enough. Wait, wings?
"Uhhhh..."
She laughed and waved her hands toward the table in a shooing motion, so I went and sat down, wishing I could see her wings. I watched her place the tea things and cookies on a tray, then pick it up and glide over to join me. I didn’t know much about tea ceremonies besides what I’d picked up in passing while consuming too much Japanese and Chinese light novels and comics, but I’d seen a number of people pour tea here and they all used the same smooth, slow, precise movements she made while pouring the tea.
Setting aside the fact that she was a demon, this was actually kind of nice. I thanked her for the tea and picked up a cookie from the tray. Still warm.
“Wow,” I said after taking a bite. The rest of the cookie quickly vanished into my mouth. It was beyond delicious. Rich, dark chocolate spotted with just enough tiny flecks of hot pepper and crunchy raw sugar sprinkles to give it a delightfully bitter-spicy-sweet aftertaste. Easily the best cookie I’d ever tasted.
“I guess I don't need to ask if you like them,” she said with a coquettish smile, "that orgasmic expression says it all."
Orgasmic? I'm not even gonna touch that.
“They are really good,” I said. I noticed her smile again when I reached for another.
“Aren’t you worried I laced them with something?” she said.
“Like what? Poison? Drugs? That wouldn’t be very social of you, would it?”
Or sportsmanlike. But neither were the buffs I'd put on myself the moment I decided to enter the treehouse, just in case it wasn't a social call.
She shrugged again, an undeniably cute gesture.
“You’re not at all what I thought a succubus would be like.”
“Am I not attractive to you?”
“Oh please.”
Her laugh reminded me of Jane’s. “What did you expect a succubus would be like, then?” she said.
Again, the thought of Jane came unbidden to my head. “Flirtier, I guess” I said. “More seductive?”
“There are, honestly, two answers to that. One is that you’re not actually attracted to that kind of behavior, so if I was really trying to seduce you then I wouldn’t come on all seductive, right?”
She said it like she was challenging me.
“Is this a game?” I said.
“Isn’t everything? But it doesn’t matter because that’s not the answer I’m going to give you. Instead I’ll go with answer number two: this is a social call. So stop being so tense, you’re totally safe.”
“You make it sound like you could thrash me without breaking a sweat if you chose not to be social.”
“And that sounds to me like someone’s probing to see if he could beat me if I tried to wrestle him to the ground.”
I tried my best not to imagine being wrestled to the ground by this beguiling woman.
"Sorry.”
“If it really makes you feel better knowing, I could totally thrash you.” Her smile told me she was being playful, but the intensity in her eyes suggested something else.
That definitely sounded like a challenge. Time for a strategic change of subject.
“So to what do I owe the pleasure of this, how'd you put it? Social call from a friendly neighbor?”
“I wanted to meet you.” She picked up a cookie and took a delicate nibble. “Oh these are good!”
"How are we neighbors?"
"Figure of speech," she said with a saccharine smile.
“Then why me?”
“You’re a bit of a celebrity, you know.” I made a sour face that sparked a belly laugh from her. “I take it you’re not fond of the spotlight?”
“That would be a fair assessment,” I said.
“Sorry to say it’s a bit late to avoid it now. You’ve attracted a lot of attention from a lot of places.”
“That sounds ominous. Do you mean from other demons besides yourself?”
Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Other demons? Whatever are you talking about?”
Of course she knew I knew there were other demons. The Shadow Demon, for example, plus she’d said as much when she told me not all demons have horns. She was telling me that it was not a suitable topic for a friendly discussion.
“You know,” I said, “there are a lot more interesting and important people you’d be much better off paying visits to.”
She nodded, not so much in agreement but more to confirm that she’d been expecting me to say something like that. “I know a great deal about you, Daniel, including your self-deprecating humility, so I was curious. Is wanting to meet the person who managed to conquer the labyrinth and solve the blight in the elf village to see him for myself that hard to imagine?”
“I suppose not. But I’m nothing special, just lucky.”
The succubus leaned back in her chair and studied me with those astonishing silver eyes.
“Oh really?” she said.