In the lobby of the Gentlemen's Club brothel you could've heard a worm crawl. I was wishing I could crawl out of there because I certainly felt like a worm.

“So, um, does that mean you all had him?” Jane said slowly, annunciating each syllable carefully.

“I mean, in a way,” Tasha said. “Not, you know,” and she quirked her head toward where Jane was scrunched up next to Arthur on the loveseat.

“Yeah yeah, we get it,” Jane said, inching away from Arthur and rolling her hands gesturing to get on with it. Arthur glanced down at the space she'd formed between them and frowned.

Tasha smiled knowingly and continued. “He spent the whole night here in the lobby just hanging out with us. All of us.”

“Of course he did,” Jane said, and started to laugh. “That’s our Daniel for you.”

“He was so funny,” Felicity said, and the assembled co-workers of the Gentlemen’s Club, all of whom I apparently did nothing but have tea with all night in the lobby, all voiced their agreement. Some even elaborated, making everything sound like a movie poster shilling a straight-to-streaming sequel to a kids movie about a talking aardvark.

“So entertaining!” trilled one. Translation: what a loser.

“Adorable!” cooed another. That’s what you call annoying children.

“I wanted to take him home and keep him!” squeaked a third. Yeah, like a pet. Or a houseplant.

“I can take over the story from here,” Madame Devorah said, quieting her subordinates instantly. “When Andy showed up with his friends I was surprised.”

“So seeing Andy here was a surprise?” Arthur said.

“Well, no,” Devorah said with a playful smile. “It was surprising he didn’t come alone, as usual.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, looking deflated.

I got the feeling Arthur thought he was being chivalrous, asking on Sigrid’s behalf to confirm that Andy wasn’t the type to frequent a brothel. Sigrid just sat there with a smile on her face, shaking her head. It was clear that she’d figured out a long time ago what type of guy Andy was and really just didn’t give a fig.

“It was also a surprise to see him that drunk, you see,” the Madame added.

“I do see,” Arthur said. “Please go on.”

She went on. “They were clearly happy about something, then Andy told us the story about Daniel’s escapades in the arena before heading upstairs with Suze and Sara.”

“But Daniel really just stayed here?” Sigrid said, pointing at the floor to indicate the lobby.

Devorah nodded. “The others also went up, but Daniel insisted on staying down here.”

“He couldn’t decide on a girl, huh?” Jane said.

“No, he just wouldn’t go with anyone,” Devorah said.

“Not for our lack of trying,” Felicity said.

“Especially after he brought out the elf ears,” Tasha said, looking at me in a way that made me super uncomfortable. The troupe of professionals surrounding me took on a bit of a predatory vibe and I hoped this would all be over soon.

“He stayed here and kept everyone entertained all night,” Devorah said.

“Do that thing again,” Felicity said. “You know, the one about dead parrot.”

“Oh god no, tell me I didn’t,” I said, putting my head in my hands.

From what I’d heard so far, I’d done some alarming things the night before, things that I had no doubt I would absolutely come to regret doing later. If what Andy said was true, that is. Which, let’s be honest, I was sure it was. But despite all that, somehow this was the thing that alarmed me the most. I understand doing something stupid, especially while drunk. But drunk or sober, some things reflect poorly on who a person is deep down, unforgivable things. Like what Felicity just said I had done.

“No, no,” Tasha said, “sing the song about the bright side of life.”

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“Let me get this straight,” Jane said, a wide grin spreading across her face. “You had the chance to enjoy the company of any number of these friendly ladies, but instead you chose to lurk in the lobby and do Monty Python skits all night?”

I sighed and kept looking down at the floor while covering my face with my hands, wishing I could shrink away to nothing. “Apparently.”

I love Monty Python as much as the next geek, but what I can’t stand people are who go around quoting them. They are the literal worst. And here I was one of them. How truly embarrassing. Unforgivable.

“Eventually the poor boy ran out of steam and started dozing off down here, so I took him upstairs and put him in my bed,” Madame Devorah said. “I knew nobody would bother him there.”

“That was very kind of you,” Sigrid said. “Thank you for looking after our silly friend.”

“Not at all. It was our pleasure, honestly. We very much enjoyed his company, it was a pleasant change from the usual.”

Andy shifted in his seat and avoided eye contact. I couldn’t blame him for feeling a bit shifty, the Madame had more or less implied that he represented the usual from which I was a pleasant change, after all.

“He’s a good boy,” Madame Devorah added, and Jane’s face lit up even more. This was her Christmas morning and she'd just found a big present under the tree with her name on it.

“He is, isn’t he? He’s such a good boy! Aren’t you? Such a good boy,” Jane said in the tone you’d use when talking to a golden retriever. I looked over to the loveseat and saw her staring at me with a huge grin, all traces of her previous prickliness gone. I also noticed Arthur looking at me with a wrinkled brow and tight lips. Apparently, that prickliness had transfered over to him.

“And that brings us to this morning when you showed up looking for him,” Madame Devorah said, folding her hands in her lap to indicate she was finished.

I handed the empty plate to Felicity and stood up. I went over to stand in front of Devorah and bowed deeply. You know, like they do in the Japan. I’d seen it done countless times in anime, and it seemed the right thing to do then, given the circumstances. In such situations, etiquette was important.

“Thank you for everything,” I said.

This was clearly one of those episodes in the series where a side character gets tossed a story bone, and this time that side character was me. You take what you can get, I suppose.

Madame Devorah stood up and took a step toward me, then cupped her hand under my chin and lifted me upright. When I was facing her she stroked my cheek.

“It really was our pleasure, Daniel. Do come back any time, we would love to have you visit again.”

A chorus of agreement chirped out from the assembled ladies.

“Um, this is awkward, but...what do I owe you?” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“You know. For your time. And your trouble. And for breakfast. And,” I added quietly, “for your bed.”

“I won’t take a single copper from you, Daniel. Like I said, it truly was our pleasure.”

“But my antics must’ve chased off some business,” I said. “I feel like I must owe you something.”

“Actually, if anything you were good for business. I suppose the unusual sounds of laughter and fun pouring out of this place must have brought in a few new patrons. We were busier than usual last night, so in reality, I should be the one who owes you. Maybe you should come entertain in the lobby more often in exchange for a cut of the profits.”

“Ridiculous,” Jane muttered, then she stood up too. “Well, we’ve all taken up more than enough of your time. We’ll be going now.”

“Aw, so soon?” Tasha said, rushing over and grabbing my arm. “Won’t you stay, Daniel?” she said, looking up at me with big brown doe-eyes.

I had to agree with Jane. This was getting ridiculous. My perfectly functional seinen story was rapidly shifting genres.

“No,” I said emphatically. “I’ve surely overstayed my welcome. I think I need to go home and get some more sleep.”

Tasha tugged my arm and opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off before she had a chance.

“In his own bed,” Jane said. “Alone.”

Tasha pouted. “Aw.”

“But you must promise to come visit again,” Felicity said, grabbing my other arm.

“Yes, you must,” the other women said, crowding around me.

“Uh, sure,” I said, slithering out of their grasps. “Sometime.”

That weak noncommittal answer seemed enough to placate them because they let us leave without further hassle.

We stepped out of the Gentlemen’s Club onto Sword Street, blinking in the sunlight. Everyone remained quiet until we’d made our way onto Dagger Street and were headed toward the Dragon Clan dojo, then Sigrid broke the silence.

“Did you really take out all those guys in the arena, Daniel?”

“Apparently.”

“Was that a good idea? I mean, weren’t you trying to fly under the radar lately?”

I sighed. “So much for that.”

“I’m really sorry, Daniel,” Andy said. “I guess, well, I just wasn’t thinking is all.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “By the sounds of it, I had a hell of a night.”

Andy grinned. “I’ll say. One to remember.”

“If only I did.”