“Aren’t you going to move so I can get out?” Kiki said to Flint as he sprawled on the bench with his legs spread like a hockey fan on the subway.

“Just slide on over top of me, Sweet Cheeks,” he said, patting his thighs.

Kiki clicked her tongue. Then she stood and did her best to shuffle in front of him between the bench and the table, but he kept shifting his legs to block her. The only way she was going to get out was to sit on his lap and slide over him. She sighed and clicked her tongue again when she realized this, but she did it.

“Ew, gross,” she said as she slapped away his groping hands while slithering over him and out of the booth.

I grabbed her hand and before she could protest dragged her away, back over toward where Jane was sitting watching all this with her mouth hanging open. We only got about halfway before Kiki yanked her hand free and turned on me.

“What are you doing?” Kiki snapped. “I don’t need help, least of all from you!”

While this was the reaction I’d expect from Kiki, I was still hoping that someday she’d start showing some dere behavior for a change — the constant tsun was getting tiresome.

“You think I did that to help you?” I said, making a yeah-right face. I mean, I did do it for her, partially, but she didn’t need to know that. “You were just a convenient tool I used to provoke him.”

Let’s see how she liked that.

“What?” she said, and for a couple of seconds she let her mask slip and looked hurt. “Yeah, well, that’s even worse. Would it kill you to be nice once in a while?”

Finally, the dere shows its face.

“You should probably go find your friends, Kiki. And don’t be mad at them for taking off, jerkface used a power to make them run away.”

“I know that!” she said. “I can see Statuses too, remember?”

We stood there looking at each other for a few seconds. She really was quite pretty when she wasn’t trying to kill you or abduct your friends.

“Well? Aren’t you going to go find them?” I said.

She glanced back and forth between me and the door a few times.

“Or would you rather stay here with me?” I said.

Her face turned red. “Why the hell would I want to do that?” she said, then spun on her heel and stormed out in a huff. Aaaand the tsun returns, right on schedule.

Chuckling to myself, I returned to join Jane at our table, where I was met with an inscrutable expression.

“Were you born an idiot or did you have to work at it?” Jane said.

“I guess you heard all that then?”

“Idiot.”

While I was trying to think of a witty comeback, a notification screen popped up.

Global Notification: Arena Duel

Daniel Lamont (Team Player) vs. Flint Vivier (Silver Sword)

Time remaining until duel – 1:59:59

“I sure hope you know what you’re doing,” Jane said.

“Trust me.”

Look, I have a confession. I didn’t tell Jane but I had an ulterior motive for choosing that particular tavern. I’d learned through my Elven Intelligence Agency, which those in the know now referred to simply as the EIA, that it was a tavern frequented by the Silver Sword and I’d been hoping to run across them. I had a bone to pick with Flint.

Having Kiki there to make uncomfortable was just gravy.

Jane pushed out her chair and stood up.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“I was going to leave.”

“That’s rude.”

Her jaw dropped. “Did you really just call me rude? Mister leaves me alone and goes off to rescue some other damsel?”

“I came back. Now sit down and have that drink with me.”

She wore a wide grin when she plopped herself back down.

“So are you gonna tell me what he whispered in your ear?” she said.

“What? And ruin the surprise?”

While I did like the idea of surprising her, the real reason I kept it to myself is because if I told her what would happen if I lose to Flint again, she’d never let me step foot inside that arena. Even worse, she’d tell Sigrid, and I’d never be allowed to leave my house again. Let her find out with everybody else, when it would be too late to do anything about it.

"Should I be worried?" she said.

"Not in the least," I said.

She leaned back and folded her arms over her chest. "Why do I get the feeling this fight is a very stupid thing to do?"

I put my elbows on the table and leaned toward her. "Trust me."

I mean, she wasn't wrong. This was yet another very stupid thing to add to my already burdensome list of stupid things I'd done, but I didn't care. It was something I had to do.

Jane and I spent about an hour chatting happily about absolutely nothing, then I apologized to her.

“I really ought to go get ready for the duel.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I have to go round up a cheering section for you, although I do have to change first. I don’t think this ensemble’s quite appropriate for the event.”

It was with great regret that I watched her walk away. That dress was just as flattering from behind as it was from the front. Dammit. I was that guy.

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I went immediately to the arena. The town square seemed a bit more crowded than usual, and there was more than the average amount of staring and pointing at me as I brushed through them to the arena doors. They were still locked, but Annabelle had long ago set them to let me through any time. Both she and Akari were up in Annabelle’s office at the top of the pagoda, waiting for me.

I wanted to figure out what to do about betting — it wouldn’t exactly be appropriate for me to give odds on myself — but I needn’t have worried. Annabelle informed me that because I was fighting an NPC, there would be no official wagers on this one.

“You don’t waste any time,” Akari said. “I didn’t expect you to throw down with Flint so soon.”

“Does that mean you don’t think I’m ready? If so, I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

“Not at all,” Akari said, lazily taking a sip from her teacup. “You’re ready.”

Annabelle was over by the window looking out at the city. She was clearly sulking. “I still don’t know why you won’t tell me what the stakes are until it’s time to announce them. There won’t be any chance to change them after that.”

“That’s exactly why,” I said.

“That only makes me more worried,” she said.

“You remember what we talked about, right?” Akari said.

“Uh huh.”

“You remember how to deal with his powers?”

“Yes, Mother,” I said, to which she replied by sticking out her tongue.

“Tell me how you’re going to win,” she said.

I described my plan of attack, and the variations I’d perform depending upon what he did. She presented a bunch of hypotheticals — What if he does this? What about this? — and I had an immediate answer to all of them.

“You’re ready,” Akari said when I was done.

“I hope so,” Annabelle said, standing over by the window. “Because it looks like you’re going to have quite an audience.”

I got up from where I was sitting and joined her at the window. Down in the town square, there were a whole lot more people than there were before, NPCs and Players alike.

“Guess they want to make sure they get good seats,” Annabelle said.

“I’m not surprised,” I said. “Everyone wants to see me taken down.”

“You think that’s why?” Annabelle said, looking amused.

“Why else?”

“Do you think maybe it might be because there’s a lot of people Flint has bullied who’d like to see him put in his place?” Akari said.

“I’m sure that’s true,” I said, “but I doubt anyone thinks I could pull that off.”

“Then won’t they be surprised,” Akari said, getting up from the table and heading toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Annabelle said.

“To go get a good seat before the floodgate opens. I want a really good view of this.”

“I shall try not to disappoint,” I said.

“Do I look worried?” the pink-haired woman said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, then she left to find a good place in the stands.

Annabelle sent the command to open the doors, and we watched people flood into the arena. Jeez, you’d think this was a Taylor Swift concert or something.

I kept looking toward the mouth of Dagger Street hoping to see my friends coming, but then I noticed them just before they entered the arena. They must have come early to get good seats too. They were all there, Team Maple Leaf and the Round Table, along with Shashu and, to my surprise, Shannon the catgirl. Then I saw Achmed and what was left of his Legion arriving with Tiff and the Team Spice girls. I guessed they must’ve struck up a friendship after the thing at the Cathedral. There was also no mistaking Kiki and her crew as they crossed the square toward us. I even saw a few elves in the crowd, Petal among them.

It looked like every Player was coming to watch, but what really struck me was how many NPCs were showing up. Most of them wore multicolored armbands, fighters from the various clans working their way towards training in toron-do. Many of them I knew from my own training, but there were lots I didn't recognize.

After a while, I had to stop looking out the window. The reality that all those people were coming to see me get my butt kicked was sinking in, and I started to get a tight chest and a knot in my stomach as my basal ganglia got all fired up with the primal lizard-brain fight or flight instinct.

I went back to the table and sat down, intending to have some tea to help calm me down, but when I tried to grab the cup the shaking of my hand made it rattle on the saucer and I gave up. I closed my eyes and started using the calming meditation techniques Akari had taught me.

Annabelle must’ve put two and two together, because she came over and started showing me some new rune formations I could use with sorcery. They weren’t particularly useful spells, more like party tricks than anything, but they did serve to distract me and before I knew it Annabelle was telling me it was time to head down to the arena floor.

“Just let me change first,” she said.

A formation appeared over her head and her new outfit appeared as the magic circle traveled down her body. It was ridiculously flashy. A one-piece bodysuit with a ten-inch wide collar and flared bell-bottoms, cinched around her waist by a wide belt, and with every square inch covered in glittering sequins. Her purple hair sprang from her head in all directions in a curly perm, and her face was plastered in makeup with bright blue eyeshadow and long fake eyelashes. The only thing she was missing was roller skates.

The next few minutes flew by in a blur. She took me down and had me wait near the entrance to the arena floor. Flint was already waiting there, ready to greet me with a confident sneer. There was a lot of noise coming from the arena stands as the excited spectators chattered.

I stood in the shadows and took a peek through the portcullis, then wished I hadn’t. The stands were completely jampacked, the first time I’d seen them so full since arriving on this planet. I didn’t see Akari’s pink hair anywhere but I managed to spot where my friends were, a few tiers up from the floor. Against my better judgment, I gave in to my curiosity and turned my advanced hearing toward listening to what people were talking about.

I scanned the crowd catching bits and pieces of conversations. Most people were gabbing about incidental matters, just your normal everyday babble, but I heard a few people speculating on the fight. Nobody, it seemed, thought I had a chance of winning. But then I heard Achmed’s voice.

Official betting may not have been offered on this fight, but that didn’t mean people weren’t placing wagers on the outcome. Achmed was busy taking bets, and I do mean busy. That was mostly because he was giving five-to-one odds that I would win, and people were more than ready to snatch the chance at easy money by betting against me. Some started to doubt his ability to cover all the bets he was taking, and I felt a flood of affection toward both him and Tiff and their teammates when they stepped in to say they’d all help cover the payouts.

It meant a lot that they had such faith in me, but of course, being me, that only sent a wave of guilt and anxiety coursing through me. Now I absolutely had to win. There’s no way I could let down the few people who believed in me and bankrupt them in the process.

Before I knew it, Annabelle was pulling me back just before the arena lights dimmed and the noise from the stands died out. A spotlight shone on the entrance as the portcullis slowly ground upwards with the clanking rasp of chains hidden within the walls. Then Annabelle gave me a secret wink and sauntered through the opening into the spotlight.

“Yahello everyone!” her amplified voice rang out.

I’d attended enough PvP duels to know the routine, but this one was different. Annabelle held nothing back as she used her talents to fire up the audience about this being the first time a Player had faced an NPC in a duel. And not just any NPC, she went on to give a full background on Flint, highlighting his impressive accomplishments and going on and on about his intimidating strength. About me she said very little, for which I was eminently grateful.

Then it was time for us to take the floor. She announced me first, and even before I stepped foot onto the arena floor I heard the jeers. It was mostly coming from one section, and when I looked up I saw my favorite people there: Teams Invictus, Overgeared, and Droog, all boos and hisses. But then I heard Sigrid’s voice rise above the catcalls, cheering me on with a “Go Daniel!” I could see my friends all together waving and cheering, then more people from all around the stands joined in the cheers. They were mostly NPCs, but still, it was nice that I had the support of some Players too.

The most enthusiastic support I got, for better or worse, came from the stands behind me. I heard a chorus of female voices begin chanting, “Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!” and when I turned to look to see who it was, I saw Madame Devorah and the entire staff of the Gentlemen’s Club shouting and waving. Lord only knew what that support would do for my reputation.

Below them, in the front row directly above the gate, Akari’s pink hair was unmistakable. When she saw me notice her, she stuck out her tongue.

Then it was Flint’s turn to enter. The reaction was mixed. My most vocal supporters were booing the loudest, but a lot of Players were also voicing their dislike of the Silver Sword leader, no doubt they were fellow victims of his bully-boy shenanigans, and I even saw some of the people who’d bet against me booing as well. I suppose just because they gambled for him to win that didn’t necessarily mean they liked him. As you’d expect, my detractors all cheered for Flint, but I was surprised that there weren’t nearly as many voices joining in with their support as I would've expected.

Annabelle let the crowd vent for a while, then waved for silence.

“The terms of this fight,” she said, “are as follows...”