Johann was - putting it simply - going crazy - because of all those emotions that kept boiling under his skull. Adrenaline, dopamine and many more hormones and enzymes kept turning his mind into unstable soup.
He was mad, yet frightened. Wanted to kill things in order to de-stress himself, yet at the same time he wanted to avoid any encounters at all cost. He was both grateful to mysterious shadows for lifting the curse off his body, yet couldn’t forgave them stabbing the dagger into his spine and throwing him into deep dark cave. And Marie. Where was Marie? Did they captured her? Did they hurt her? Was she lost in the forest?! All his emotions every now and then were completely overshadowed by that single fear.
But then again - he would remind himself that in order to save Marie he needed to find Exit, which brought his mental state to the previous condition - of anger and fear. Perfect perpetuum-mobile of emotions.
Thanks to the dim light of glowing mushrooms he was finally able to see, just a little and only the general shapes, but it was much better from not seeing at all. Slowly, yet steadily, he was getting to the next cave-room. From behind the corner he could hear lazy snarling every now and then, as he approached the crossroad, he slowly took a glance behind it.
Wolves. Few dozens of them, were sleeping lazily in a spacious cave - on elevated boulders, by the walls and in the middle of it. Strange. Wolfs usually slept as pack, searching for body warmth of one another, especially in such cold and humid caves. It… it was more than obvious it was his next trial. Was he supposed to get past them on the other side of room?
It was quite long, with many things that could be used to hide behind them or to move on higher ground to move as far from sleeping beasts as possible, but there were just as many treacherous objects that could betray his position.
Hunter loudly swallowed his saliva - one was sure, he is about to sweat quite a lot in here...
… unless…
----------------------------------------
* “So… You will help me, will you?” Witch asked a half-goddess after staring at her in shock and awe for good minute or two.
* “Oh, silly child. Of course I will. But, you will have to carefully think of what do you desire, and remember that I am more than just free to interpret your plea the way I please.”
Doe circled Marie lazily.
* “Mortals… tend to be so focused on themselves, so shameless in theirs demands, that every now and them we are pulling a little prank or two. Just to teach you your place as well as to show you that you should cherish what you already have instead of yelling
It was more than obvious that Doe was actually quite pleased that it could remind Marie that she is the one in debt to her, not the other way around. Like a child that kept saying “you owe me!” to one another; demanding more and more gifts which combined worth greatly exceeded the actual debt.
* “It’s… Me and my fiance were attacked… They… they…”
* “Killed him?” Doe guessed. Oh, she didn’t have to guess at all. She was one with the woods, she knew everything that happened here. She also knew that Johann was alive, yet decided to keep this information for herself. In her eyes, all mortals deserves trials and challenges. This way, they could really see what they wanted.
Marie only nodded.
* “So? A revenge? So boring. So inelegant.”
* “They took his body…”
* “So what? It is right of victorious to take what is his. Your mate… was a hunter, right? Tell me, didn’t he kill does and rabbits and wolves and dozens other creatures? Didn’t he feast on their flesh and made clothes of their fur? Now, imagine that every rabbit, every deer and wolf would came to me running, complaining that a hunter killed his brother, mother, mate? What am I supposed to do with that? Kill every hunter? Every predator? In name of vengeance? Do you think that in our eyes you are any better than a rabbit? A deer? What makes you worthy of my attention, mortal? What makes your enemies worthy of my arrows?”
* “They are… I am pretty much sure they are worshipers of Wolf…”
Now, Doe burst in laughter.
* “Trying to play on my own emotions and desires, are you? Do you really think I hate other avatar of hunt? We have been fighting since the dawn of time, yes, he feasted on my flesh billions times; as well as he died billions of time either of starvation - as he didn’t caught me or because as I was running away I kicked him in the skull. But, at the end of the hunt we know that we are one. Without him, there is no such thing like myself. I hate him. I love him. Without him, I cease to exist. There are worshipers of peace, there are worshipers of war, there are worshipers of sun, there are worshipers of moon. There are worshipers of wolf and lamb. Who am I, bah, who are YOU to proclaim who is wrong and who is right?... but you did amuse me. Keep trying.”
* “...please… I… I just cannot stand it…” Marie whispered
* “This is a miracle we call life. Even weaklings have potential to become stronger and defend themselves from predator. Your loss means only that you were not prepared. That you didn’t try hard enough. That you wasted precious time given to you by mother on games and fun instead of sharpening your claws. You can’t just come to me and demand fixing life you wasted. That would be unfair to the hunters that killed their prey. Are you done? What a waste of time.”
Doe turned around and started walking toward the bog.
* “Wait!” Marie kneeling stretched her hand toward vanishing avatar
* “Waiting is a privilege of hunter that is looking for the best moment to strike. You are no hunter.” Doe didn’t even turn her head “... deeds, no words, that’s all that I can tell you…”
… Wait.
Deeds, no words.
Lamb killing wolf while running away.
The Doe was actually giving her hints from the start, speaking seemingly without a sense or answering with riddles and stories. This is the way that Celestial speaks to mortals in order to avoid interfering too much in their personal growth.
Marie clenched her first on the dirt below her, she knew what the Doe wanted from her.
* “Hear my call, oh the forgotten and old…” Marie started with shaking voice. The Doe turned around...
* “I am calling you to honor thy vow…” There was a way to receive her blessing, and even more…
* “In your loving hands I leave my life…” She had to gamble her very own life
* “So I can take your place in the strife.”
That was one the first verse of sacrificial prayer. The prayer, she never know, but somehow, the words kept flowing from her mouth on their own.
She made a living offering out of herself.
That legend was more than wellknown. Just like many of childish stories that parents kept telling their kids in order to teach them about the morality or simply how world works. The story of a hungry wolf chasing the doe.
They are running through the endless forest for the whole day. If the wolf wouldn’t catch the doe till the end of a night, he would die of starvation. But at very same time the doe can’t fool him by running into thickset, can ran across the river to make wolf lose track of her stench. Then again, river is dangerous, and kill the doe if she would make a mistake.
That story had thousands variants. The tale of villager and bandit, the tale of lovely lady and evil lord. It was teaching the kids that evil will always exist - in just as many forms that one could imagine, and often while trying to run away from it, you can find yet another threat.
But, one thing remained unchanged. Every night, all around the world, in one of countless deep, dark woods, the Wolf and the Doe would arise once again to race through the whole night.
Will the Wolf starve? Or maybe it would wrongly approach the Doe and that would kick him while trying to run away?
Will the Doe stumble and break her legs? Or maybe the strong stream of the river will take her down, smashing her bones over sharp rocks and cast her lifeless body ashore so the wolf could feast on it?
* “Now, you are speaking my language.” the Doe smilled behind her skull-helmet
She approached the kneeling, praying witch and embraced her in loving touch.
* “Till the end of a day, you will become my Herald. You will gain my speed, my strength and will. And as the sun would set you would take my place as a lamb in the hunt.”
Was it worth?
If Marie could once again see body of Johann, and pay back those scums that hurt him, then definitely yes.
And as for the price that she had to pay… well, she will have to run very, very fast. Till the first light of dawn.
----------------------------------------
The last wolf in the cave’s room fell dead. Something that Johann noticed right away. They were spread awfully far from one another. Bah, even sleeping in places that were more than just sufficient to perform an assassination.
He kept waking them up and luring them away, into remote parts of the caves where he kept killing them. One by one.
He lured one of them far away, close to the boulder on which he climbed, and as soon as the wolf was directly blow him, he jumped on him burrowing the dagger in its spine. By using its blood he lured another one behind the corner, and as soon as another beast was coming after tasty stench, he bolted on it from the side.
He made a terrible mistake once. He slipped on a wet rock and landed on his back causing awfully loud noise. It woke up almost every wolf in the cave, but after sniffing their nearest locations few times, they curled up and fell down to slumber almost right away. Something was wrong with these creatures, as if they were not creatures of flesh and blood, but machines - automatic golems of the ancient programmed to perform few simple tasks as they requirements were met, yet as soon as they spotted no intruder, they went all back into power-saving-mode.
Yet, they were alive. It was flesh being pierced by his dagger. It was blood falling down from the wounds. It was anger and later fear in their eyes. Everything looked so very normal, yet strange in this weird, twisted cave…
Oh, but after seeing that, Johann became much more straightforward in his actions. He was no longer afraid of causing noise.
He climbed above three sleeping wolfs and push a boulder onto them, smashing them into bloody pulp. He pushed one of it from the edge. Rest he killed with few less accurate strikes causing them to cry in pain. Every single time, after alarmed wolfs would start patrolling the cave he would simply hide letting them fall back into slumber. So weird… Yet so very exiting.
So wonderful to have such a control over his surroundings. He caught himself thinking on the ways of killing his next target before he actually managed to finish the current one. It was af if everything was going according to his plan. He was not a scared human trying to quietly sneak from one shadow to another. He was a death lurking in darkness. He was a wolf, and sleeping beasts were his sheeps.
* “You have completed the trial of shadows. Just like a wolf you used the darkness to deliver a deadly blow to those who crossed your path. You are a creature of the night, you fret no shadows, for you were raised in them, molted in embrace made of blackness itself. You did…”
* “SHUT UP ALREADY! WHERE IS THE EXIT?! WHERE IS MARIE!?”
* “Your journey has merely started. You still learned nothing. You still have no idea of who you are and what you want…”
* “I want Marie… and your skull over my chimney!”
* “No. It’s not what you want. You need to keep searching. Stop looking over the cave and start gazing into yourself!”
* “Tis a bullshit! Where is…”
* “Onward, young wolf, more trials awaits you.”
Cursing loudly Johann decided to replenish his strengths. He put his hand into the bag and picked last piece of dry bread and took last gulp of water from the goatskin.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Yet, he was still so very hungry. His mouth were dry and his belly was growling demanding more food. He wasted too much energy in this cave. Those few pieces of bread were not nearly enough to satisfy his needs.
He started moving onward. He pushed his backs onto the wall and crouched. This way, he had his blind spot covered and his vision was able to spot every possible threat in front of him.
Next room was light, very light. As if he was on the field in a sunny day. The scenery was lovely. A small pond with water, old, forgotten camp side with all tools necessary to rest here - a single tent with bedding, a huge pot, some vegetables lying aside, a huge butchering knife and such. Next to it a small apple tree was growing with few rip fruits hanging from bended branches.
And a single, fat horned rabbit was munching one of the apples that fell on the ground. It’s back were pointed toward hunter.
The hunter. That was so very hungry.
It took him less that half of a minute to kill huge bunny, in next five minutes he skillfully removed skin and casted it aside. He will be able to make something pretty out of it for Marie later on. Then, he prepared the meat, tossed it into pot which he previously filled with water from the pond and few vegetables and cooked it quickly into delicious soup.
And as soon as he was about to put the first spoonful into his mouth, the voice of the shadow’s leader echoed across the room.
* “You have completed the trial of hunge…”
* “CAN YOU AT LEAST LET ME FINISH THE BLOODY MEAL!?”
* “...”
* “THANK YOU!”
The wonderful feeling of fulfilment vanished as soon as he heard the annoying voice of his kidnapper. For a split of second there was only him, a bunny, and a pot. He forgot he was a captive somewhere deep underground and everything he was doing was some part of a test. he enjoyed that simple task of preparing himself a meal.
Now, he was forcing a food into his stomach in silent anger. He kept loading a spoon after a spoon trying to regain as much energy as only he could before resuming his journey. When he casted the tool aside. He jumped back not letting the old man start talking again.
* “Trial of hunger? Really? Is there a trial of jacking off too?! If yes, tell me - do you judge the technique, or merely the speed of the process?!” he growled into sky.
Offending people that have already defeated you once didn’t appear to be a good idea, but somehow, Johann couldn’t himself. It was just stronger than his self preservation instinct.
* “Onward, young wolf. Onward.”
* “How long will this joke last?!”
* “How long will it take you to realize the obvious truth?” the voice answered quite amused. Johann didn’t notice that in that single sentence the old man actually offended his intelligence.
* “What truth?”
* “If the obvious truth needs to be pointed out, shown and described, it no longer is an obvious truth. But your nature is bound with you so much, that you don’t even question your actions. Stop for a moment, and think…”
* “I don’t have time for this, old man, Marie is waiting for me.”
* “Is it love that pushes you into action? Or something else.”
* “It’s not your bloody business!”
* “No. It is not. But it is your business.”
He said that with such a tone as if he was lecturing extremely stupid and stubborn child.
* “What do you mean?”
* “I mean, that you have to keep walking.”
* “How long?!”
* “Till you would reach yourself.”
* “FUCK! Not this again!”
If only Johann would actually try looking for sense in the words of mysterious old man.
----------------------------------------
Marie kept running through the forest. She was almost completely naked, her green body was only covered by a belt to which a quiver full of arrows was hanging proudly. In her left arm - a bow, on her head - a skull of Doe.
In her heart - a burning rage and motivation.
It was impossible for mere mortals to move that fast. The bushes she ran thought would move a second after she stepped over them. At same time, her vision was not blurry, bah, even more, it looked as if she saw everything in slow-motion.
She noticed them. Two shadows - now with their hoods down. She saw their faces clearly. They were a beastkins. Wolf-kin.With sharp faces and eyes clang to location she ran across few seconds ago. Her right hand moved to the quiver, she picked two arrows and put them on string which she pulled rapidly. Shooting multiple arrows at multiple targets was considered as the peak of skill of archery, especially when she was moving with a godly speed.
In her whole life she picked a bow few times before. Very few - last time as a child, when she was playing with other kids in
Damn, she was bad.
Yet now, it was so natural to her, as if she was borned with a bow in her hand. She fired arrows and charged onward. She didn’t even had to check if the arrows hit their targets. She simply knew that, as if pieces of wood ended with iron were extensions of her own body.
Wolf-men didn’t even cry. Arrows ended their life on the spot. Witch focused on running. Faster. Further. Higher.
She jumped on lowered branches of a tree using it as stairs till she landed on its peak. From here, she had perfect view on whole forest. Her perfect eyes spotted few smaller villages hidden inside of the forest, every single one inhabited by few dozen of beast-men. To which they took Johann? Where is he!? Which one was responsible for her suffering!?...
… Doesn't matter. She will just keep looking till she would find the right one. She still had few hours till nighttime. More than enough to deliver her vengeance.
----------------------------------------
Trial of agility, trial of strength, trial of faith… How many more does he still have to finish?! It leads to nowhere!
* “Incredible. Simply, incredible…” the voice echoed once again. Johann was about to insult it once again, but he was stopped by the shadow “... before you - the last trial.. No, it is no longer a trial. It will be merely a summarization of everything you did.”
* “Then, will you let me go?”
* “Johann. You still don’t get it. You are the only one that keep locking yourself in here.”
* “How do you know my name!?”
* “Onward. Into the very core of your soul. Step into it, sink into your essence. See, what you are and accept it, only then you will truly be free.”
* “Core of soul!? How the hell am I supposed to…”
As if only waiting for him to say those words, the piece of cave moved aside revealing made of stone spiral stairs down.
* “Very practical…” hunter sighed.
He started descending, yet, as if trying to prove shadow’s words wrong it kept getting brighter and brighter.
* “Wake up! Wake up! Wake-wake-up!”
He kept hearing a chant. Yet this time, it was bit different. There was some mysterious, yet obvious, meaning behind it.
The cave walls disappeared, replaced by glass and mirrors. In mirrors shards of his memories were being displayed. He watched his earliest memory - his father playing with him as he was crawling across the floor.
Then another one, his father teaching him using a bow.
Another one, he was playing with kids in front of warehouse. He stumbled and fall scratching his knee. A little girl approached him and helped him get up. It was Marie.
Dozen and dozen of times, as he was descending and moving past some of the mirrors, he watched for few second a piece of his life.
He watched himself being dragged by Marie to the old cave - forbidden cave - in which they kept playing and fooling around. As Marie dragged him for a picnic into dangerous part of forest.
How she taught him swimming by… well, throwing him into a lake.
* “Swim! Swim if you want to live!” she was laughing and fighting for air at same time.
* “Marie! I-m… I am drowning! It’s not funny! Help me!” that earned him another dose of uncontrollable giggles
* “Johann, sweety. Stand up.”
* “W-what?”
* “Stand. Up.”
She throw him out in place where water was merely meter or so tall. He almost got scared to death, but that day, he learned to swim.
He was always so clumsy, that the was afraid of doing even simple tasks in fear that he would break something. But Maire, whatever would happen, just kept pushing him onward. Even if they returned covered in scratches or causing some serious problems to the village, she would just laugh.
With her around, he was actually living. And… he wanted to return his favor so much… so much… that…
He lives thanks to her. And he decided to live for her. To return all those favours back. To be the one showing her the world…
He shake his head to the sides and started running down ignoring mirrors. He already wasted too much time.
The glassy stairs started vanishing. He didn’t even noticed, when his surroundings turn into dark, humid cellar. Cellar under his house, where he stored all the skin pieces and meat that were yet meant to be preparead.
In the cellar he spend quite few night possessed by blood lusting devil. There, in shackles on the wall, something twisted and turned. It was..
* “Hello, Johann.”
Werewolf smiled back on him
* “You never talked. Never wrote a letter. I almost thought that you forgot about me, partner.” a truly wolfish grin smiled on creatures head
* “No. NO! I was meant to be free! I was meant to get rid off you!”
* “No, you fool. You were given a possibility to free yourself from me. You have no idea how happy I was when I saw you throwing it away!”
* “I didn’t do that!”
* “Oh, you did. You were even told that. Trials, my love. You were told that the way you would deal with them would show you who you really are. Instead of sneaking your way out from the cave you killed everything on yours path, instead of eating apples and vegetables, you killed a rabbit, in trail of faith instead of looking for a guidance you found your way out by trails and errors. Every single time, you picked either an easiest path or the one that benefited you the most. Every single time you casted aside the way of prey, choosing path of predator instead.”
Werewolf flexed his muscles against the wall and broke the chains. Silver links fell down and scattered across the whole room.
Werewolf walked toward him, changing on his way in process till he stood in front of him. As a human. As other Johann.
* “No! I don’t want you! I don’t need you!”
* “All this time you thought you wanted to pay Marie back. For all this kindness. For her affection. For what she did for us, but, to be honest, it was a little bit different. You see, we were envious of her. We were jealous of her strong spirit. Of being so independent. She always knew what she wanted and we wanted to be just. Like. Her.”
* “No! I really love her!”
* “Of course you do! Am I denying it?... But you also yearn for freedom. You want to stop relying on people that kept mocking you!”
* “Wake up! Wake up! Wake-wake-up!” a chant, so loud that it shock the walls of basement
Were-Johann stretched his arm offering his hand
* “You wanted be be independent. You wanted freedom. You want to be respected… and who knows, maybe even feared! This is why you made me! I am all of your deepest desires! Your most basic urges that in your foolishness you locked in, deep down in your heart. You limited both of us from growing.”
* “Wake up! Wake up! Wake-wake-up!” the pieces of basement started falling down. The building started crumbling over his head.
* “Can’t you see!? We are one! I am not some devil’s leftovers, he merely loosen the chains you placed on me … and gave access to the powers he left us. That wa the only way I could reach you. I could reach myself.”
* “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE-WAKE UP!”
* “I would never harm you! When you get hurt, I suffer too! When you are sad, I am sad too! We may be different, we may want to achieve same things in different ways, but I own something you don’t have - something that makes you stand idly instead of acting! I have a courage to change the world to please myself, instead of changing myself to please the world!”
* “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WA-P WAK-UWAKEUPUPWAKEWAPEUP!”
Cascade of voices blurred, turned into mess, into two worlds being yelled by hundred of throats with no pace no order.
* “ACCEPT ME! YOU IDIOT! ACCEPT ME OR LIVE FOREVER AND HER SHADOW AS NOTHING MORE THAN BURDEN!”
Johann grabbed the hand of the beast.
And everything become quiet. Everything became peaceful. As if hole in his heart got finally filled. As if part of himself that he kept denying was back on its place, ready to work at full capabilities.
* “And now, finally…” his inner wolf said
* “We are one.” they have finished in unison.
* “WAKE UP!”
He opened his eyes in shock and got up to sitting position.
He was in the middle of some weird village, five fireplaces that a moment ago stopped burning were located all around of him. In the ashes he noticed few strange, half-burned plants.
* “Finally awake?” the shadows approached him. slowly they cast their hoods asides revealing their faces. Everyone, except for talking leader. “.. moment or two longer and you would get stuck on the other side.”
* “Other side?” Johann whole body was stiff, his throat dry and his head was spinning.
* “The world of dreams. We have drugged you so you could enter your subconsciousness. There, you could finally have a talk with your sleeping side. I guess you managed to complete the trials…”
So, the reason he was not healing, the reason wolves in such a bizarre way, was caused by the fact it was merely a dream?
* “Yet, your wolf still dwells within you. Apparently, you don’t want to throw him away.”
* “No. I guess… that not. Apparently, it was not the wolf that was a problem.”
* “Is that so?” hooded man asked smiling with corners of his lips.
* “No. It was me. I was the problem all along.”
* “It’s not a sin be foolish. It is a sin to remain ignorant forever.”
* “Why… why did you do that to me… Why did you attack us in first place?”
* “In order to make you believe. In order to make you think. In order to make you appreciate strength you were gifted with. Many weak people are afraid of the glory. They cast it aside not knowing how to use it properly.”
* “Where is… where is Marie.”
* “Oh, fret not. She was not invited by the forest, so forest would spit her out. Normally, you would be able to find her in front of the forest.”
Something was off. The way he spoke, as if there was something he tried hiding away from him. As if he knew more than he wanted to admit.
* “I… Thank you then… but do you think that I could…”
* “Controll the beast at nights? You will. In time.You only have to remember that there is no beast hidden within you. The more honest you would be with your instincts, the more you would acknowledge them, the easier it would become to control those urges at night.”
* “Riddles again?”
* “But of course, that yes! Knowledge without wisdom is meaningless and fruitless! Answer that you would find on your own is worth more than the one given to you by a sage.”
* “I… I think I understand.”
* “Really?” smiled shadow raised his brow not believing him at all
* “Actually, no, but it sounds smart, so I am willing to believe in that… May I… May I know who you are?” Johann asked
Creature took the hood of his head making hunter gasp
* “My name is wolf. Just wolf. I am an avatar of hunt, one two to be precise. I have a final gift to you, a lesson, you could call it. Are you interested?”
* “I am not really su… I can at least listen what you have on mind, an I right?”
* “It may teach you to control yourself better at night.”
* “I'm all ears.” only that much was needed to completely mold Johann’s will to wolf’s bidding
* “Since the dawn of time, every night, me and little Doe are having a game of tag. If i caught her, I feast on her, if she runs away, I starve to death. The forest is our hunting ground and the night is our judge. Are you willing to become a beast, my Herald and kill the Doe in my name?”
* “I… am not really sure if I can kill a half-goddess just like that.”
* “With my blessing you will become her per. Otherwise, there would be no fun nor challenge.”
* “What if I lose?”
* “I have already told you.”
The risk was definitely too high. Risking his life just for speeding up his learning…
… but then again. That would mean that he could spend nights with Marie earlier. That she would be able to stop being afraid of nights with him, no longer she had to watch if he is not hurting himself or anyone else…
… and then his other part roared. With motivation. With passion. With courage.
* “Sign me in.”
The monster grinned ugly, but Johann couldn’t see it, for monster already started walking in oposite direction.