Edited by Solyom and Iamacultivator.

When I was done with the group of unlucky trolls, heavily unsatisfied, I head onward to once again join the front guard. Thanks to my enhanced senses, I was able to hear them from afar, as they were picking a fight with another small camp. By time I caught up, they were mostly done. But, I made one little mistake. I didn’t morph back from my pseudo Naga form. Which ended in the dwarfs starting at me and yelling like they were mad.

- “MONSTER BEHIND OUR LINES! INTO FORMATION, BRING THAT UGLY FUCKER DOWN BOYS…”

On which I had to react.

- “MAKROV! YOU PROUD SON OF TWO MEN AND A GOAT! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

- “Oh, it’s just a witch-boy, damn! I thought that previously, he was ugly. So, how did it go?”

- “I think I killed one just by looking at him.”

- “A-ha, great.” He responded while rolling his eyes.

- “Do I look like I am kidding?”

- “Wait, you really are serious, ain’t you?”

- “I didn’t even lay a finger on him.”

- “He could be playing dead, just to make you leave him be.”

- “Who do you think I am?! Of course that I double checked. He didn’t even blink when I slowly burrowed my claws in his guts!”

- “..t.thehe…hehehe…HAHAHAHA!” The dwarf burst into laughter.

- “Why the hell are you grinning like an idiot?”

- “You are so bloody ugly, that you managed to kill a troll with nothing but your face!” He turned back to Gisele. “How can you even keep spending time with him? Doesn’t his face haunt you in the dark?”

Cuz she loves me, idiot! Also, because she actually is a pure and honest girl, who is not influenced but such silly things like physical look. Also, it’s not like I am dating her while looking like bug or…

- “Booze.” She replied. I could not sense even a trace of joke in her voice. “Lot’s of it.”

I feel betrayed.

- “Here I thought, that after this war would be over I would cook you something nice.”

- “What do you mean by that?” She raised her brow.

- “Don’t know yet. Was thinking about something meaty and greasy.”

- “Well, you know Makrov, Zari actually is a decent person and…” She turned back to the dwarf, continuing as if she never said the previous part.

- “You know, I no longer am willing to waste my precious time to cook for someone as ungrateful as you?”

- “Honey, I was joking…”

- “Lieutenant. Give your squad an order to move out. I think I hear the main forces about two kilometers away from our position. We need to clear rest of the path.”

- “… Still, Zari…”

- “Lieutenant!” The tone of my voice clearly stated that I am not going to discuss this matter any further.

Ha! Booze! Lil ungrateful b… whatever. I will tease her about this for a while from now. The one who can cook something edible has absolute power over Gisele.

- “Witch-boy, how far are we from that main camp?” Markrov, the second in command asked.

- “Not that far. An hour. Maybe two, depends on how many ambushes we encounter. Stay focused, as we will be getting closer, the chances of meeting stronger groups will rise. Ha! They could even send a small army just to jump on us. Send a few boys back, in case if they wanted to attack us from behind by using some hidden passages. I will move in front, to scout ahead. I will also move away from a ungrateful wench.”

- “Darling…”

Yet I just moved away.

I know, I am acting childish. BUT, SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS!

I am kidding, of course. I am not even that mad. Simply – right now I need to focus completely on my task. One mistake and my little prank on Ironblood would end with the death of the whole squad.

Oh, I am also teasing Gis in the same time, it’s like killing three birds with one stone – annoying two people and getting the work done. I haven’t been this productive for a long, long time.

Adventurer’s guild

El and Rus came back after finishing yet another shoppin... I mean, task from Jericho.

- “Can we get something to eat?!” The young witch called from the door. “It took us longer than we were expecting and we’re dying from starvation!”

- “Will be served in a minute, sweetheart!” One of the maid-dressed waitresses called from the kitchen.

- “Hey, girls! Come to us!” Marika waved to the rookies from the corner table.

They happily complied.

- “Miss Marika, Mister Mrogul, Mister Loki, and Mister Pyrox! Thank you for invitation!” El performed a polite curtsey.

- “HAHA! I ain’t no miss, sweetie!”

- “Still.”

- “Just get comfy! We are all friends! Family! Except Loki. He is a bastard.”

- “Ho? Was that supposed to be an offense?” The hooded assassin raised his brow. Yeah, that was the only facial expression that one could see. The rest of his face below his eyes was hidden by a bandana. As always.

- “Incredible! You are now able to tell if someone is offending you! Your intellect must have at least doubled! If not tripled!”

- “That’s not the case. I merely implying that such bug like yourself is not even capable of offending me!”

- “You stole that line from Zari, didn’t you?”

- “Tsk” The rogue just turned his head irritated.

- “HA! You can’t even make your own insults! You are even more pathetic than I remember!”

- “M..miss Marika! Please! That’ not nice of you!” El never really had friends. Just her family and healers. This is why she hated when they were insulting one another. This little, pure birdie just wanted for everyone to get along.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

- “Now a girl protects my good name. Even more, such a cute, little girl. I really reached the bottom.” The former assassin sighed heavily.

- “T..That’s not what..”

He silenced her by stroking her head few times.

- “El, you don’t have to say what you meant. We all know it. You see, there is a thing or two you need to know about our group. For example about me and Marika. I am a good man, I don’t mind when weak-minded and deprived people, such as this little fairy, insult me. If this is the only way such deviants can achieve pleasure – so be it. I will humbly take all the anger, hate and filth they are storing inside their dark, evil hearts to…”

- “HEY! I am not some kind of pervert!” This time it was Marika who was pushed to defense in this verbal-battle.

- “Pervert?” The blonde girl blinked twice in confusion. “What is a pervert?”

- “...” Literally everyone not-said as awkward silence take over their table.

- “Damn. She is too pure. I feel bad for bringing this subject in first place” The hooded man confessed.

- “W..w..what do you mean?” Ah, poor Elana was thinking that everyone are avoiding some extremely important subject. As if to keep her in dark for purpose.

- “Think nothing of it, young one.” The orc said with his growl-like accent. “The time will come when you would learn everything. Until then… Enjoy the peace…”

- “Yeah. Even I have to say that – if someone would tell me a year ago that I would peacefully have a meal with pig-face at same table, I would laugh him or her in the face.”

- “And if someone would even mention to me that I would simply let the insult of this bloody midget go, without smashing her face into dirt, I would probably challenge him for battle of honor.” For a moment a sparkle of old rivalry appeared in their eyes, but after a few seconds it died.

- “What a time to be alive. Huh?”

- “Indeed. Ah! It’s so wonderfully quiet without Zari and Gis…”

- “A..ah! Speaking about…” El brought THAT topic again. “… I couldn’t not notice that when Mister Zariel and Miss Gisele are spending night in same room they are yelling till morning.” If you could see the faces of everyone around the table right now. “ Is something wrong? Are they hurt?”

- “Oooh yes, they…they are in… great pain… you see, sweetie, they are… um… training! Yes! Ha-ha! Training! That’s what they are doing! And what they are doing is training! The training, that is! And, um… this is why they are moani… I mean, yelling! Because after that they are so very exhausted that they sleep to the noon, you noticed that, didn’t you? They raise very lately!” Marika did her best. She did terribly, but still, she tried best! Efforts counts! There is no way El would believe it th…

- “Oh, I see…” She believed it! “… they are very dedicated in being adventurers, aren’t they?”

- “Ooooh yeeees. Dedicated. To adventuring. Sure. That’s exactly the case!”

- “D…Do you think that I should ask Mister Zariel for the same training session…”

- “NOOOOO! NO! GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NOOOO! NO! I mean… That’s a training designated just for couples! For the best teammates!” Rus raised her voice.

- “Like… Miss Gisele and Mister Zariel?” The young Scarlet wanted to be sure.

- “Exactly!”

- “Like Miss Marika and Mister Mrogul?” The fairy and orc were drinking beer. The first one choked and started fighting for air as the second spitted it away.

- “FOR MERCY OF GODDESSES! Never! I… I mean, we are actually adventuring together quite rarely, and…”

- “Then Miss Marika and Mister Pyrox!”

- “GOD DAMN IT! GIRL! PLEASE STOP!”

- “Mister Pyrox and Mister Mrogul?” The Blondie never stopped.

- “… actually, I would love to see that.” Fairy couldn’t stop laughing as Mrogul was trying to convince El that such thing would ABSOLUTELY NEVER EVER HAPPEN!

- “Then… me and sister Rus?” She finally asked looking with those pure blue eyes at her companion.

- “… My heart… My soul… Please… end my misery… She is… to pure… to cute… to…” Rus really put her palm on her chest near heart. “…El… I think that it is not possible…”

- “WHY!? Is it because I am lacking experience?! I…I… I will try my best! I will not fail you! I am sure that with little guidance I could please you and…”

That was the thing that crossed the line.

- “MAY THE ANGELS AND DEVILS HAVE MERCY ON US! I CAN STAND THIS NO LONGER! I BEG YOU! SOMEONE! TELL HER THE TRUTH!” The fairy jumped on the table.

Rus could barely stand her own. Her face had same color as ripe tomato. She grabbed her partner’s hand and move her to the side of the room where they could have little of privacy. Then she started whispering in her ear.

- “N..no, I don’t know where baby come from… I mean, sis told me that they are miracles send by angels but I doubt that… O..ok, I will listen… … …. …. …. W..why someone would do tha… p…p…p…put what?... P…P…PUT WHERE?!... B…BUT WHY?... then would do WHAT?! To WHO?! FOR HOW LONG?!... b..b…but the sounds? W..w..w…what about the…”

Up to this point Rus must have ended the general lesson of biology and got more into... details. Or so everyone thought as Elana’s lips started quiver a little, then her whole posture started trembling, few drops of sweat travelled down her forehead and she started getting red all over her face. From bottom till tip. That was a book-like definition of progressive blush. Climbing-up-blush. The kind of blush that makes senpai notice you more.

The redness completely took her over. She became one, standing monument of red, one could say that she truly became SCARLET!... you get it? It’s because her last name is Sca… Whatever. I will show myself out.

- “El? Sweetie?” Marika asked after Elana gave no response for over a minute.

- “I… I think I broke her.” Rus said with guilty expression. “I.. I will help her get into her room. I will be back as soon as I would be sure that she is all right.”

So she grabbed her gently by her arm and started leading her to the stair to higher floor. Poor little El was not responding at all.

Zari’s POV

I see trees, so dead!

Green goblins too!

I see them dig,

deep in the core.

And I think to myself – what a wonderful war!

I see skies so blue,

and clouds so grey,

It’s about to rain,

We will fight in shade,

And I think to myself – shit’s about to get real!

The colors of blood,

so pretty on the ground,

It’s also on the faces,

Of ogres walking by,

I see them preparing axes,

Asking: Are you ready to die?

And I think to myself – slaughter will be…

… fuck. I totally ruined it. And it was coming along so smoothly! Tsh, looks like I don’t have an artist's heart.

Good new, guyz, as I allowed myself to move alone by making myself a front guard of the front guard, I was able to spot the main camp, and damn, greenskin girls must be surely a bunch of fertile wenches. The whole valley is literally swarmed! From afar, they look like thousands of bugs creeping over the ground.

So, how many of them is there?

OVER 9000!... or more. Many more. I was never taught how to estimate the size of army by looking at it, bah, even when I was still in my previous world, I had problems with saying how big the crowd on an event was. Maybe because the media was lying? You know, things like that – there was some event against the government. Anti-government media – there is over 100,000 of us, pro-movement media : the crowd that has gathered around the building X is estimated to be around 15,000.

That would mean that the crowd in real life was around 50,000. You get my point.

The sun was still high and I could felt vibration in the ground. These vibration was caused by one thing – thousands of dwarven feet hitting the ground in same time. The army was approaching.

Then I noticed it. From the swarm, a few “people” came and started moving before it. Far away from the range of possible archers. Three creatures. A huge ogre, a small goblin… AND THE RED BASTARD THAT HURT MY BIRDIE WITH THE STONE! We will see how would you enjoy having your skull crushed!

They are carrying something? A table, a few plain chairs and… a white flag with the symbol of a black sword hidden partly in the ground? Well, calling that a flag is bit of exaggeration, it’s some old rag and the picture on it was drawn with coal by unskilled hands.

Actually, you couldn’t really tell if that was a sword by merely looking at it. It is more what I think it should be. A black sword in the ground, on the white background means that they want to negotiate before battle. Civilized kingdoms used that to establish some basic rules, like: no matter who would win, they would take care of the wounded, or that they would treat captured soldiers (or at least knights) with honor.

Or to buy yourself even more time. Damn. If someone asked me, then my advice would be that we should attack them right away. They are goblins, even if they are acting bit more organized, they do not posses “honor-ability”, which would put them in the place of being worthy negotiations partners.

Would I be heard out? I doubted that.

I left my scouting post and headed back.

- “Witch-boy! You saw someth…” Makrov asked me, yet I kept moving, ignoring him “.. HEY! That wasn’t nice!”

- “Ain’t got time! I need to talk with your queen.”

- “They should be here in hour or so!”

- “Can’t wait for that. Just keep your ground.”

- “What if their army would make a move?”

- “They won’t. The fuckers want to negotiate.”

- “TO DO WHAT?!”

I didn’t even bother to reply him further.

- “Gis, no charging. Just wait.”

- “So, it means that you are no longer angry on m…”

- “I am furious.”

- “Tsh.”

I need to speed things up. If our enemy wants to gain time, it is our duty to keep pushing and make him feel pressure. Where pressure is, there is room for mistakes.