I was kneading cake with ferocity, oh my darling, you are going to be rolled so go, I will squeeze every possible imperfection off you, everything that shall remain will be just one, fluffy, delicious…
Your plague [Black Breath] has slain [Villager]You have obtain [26 exp]
DAMN IT! Don’t disturb be right now! Can’t you die like unimportant, unnamed side character you are? NO! HUR DUR LOOK AT ME! I am a villager and I am dying! Make the whole world known!
Ok, easy me… easy me… let’s start rubbing apples
* “Here, have this one…” Marla passed me a bowl with already prepared apples. They were done perfectly, all you had to do was just to add sugar or whatever you wished to in proportions you liked
* “My thanks, madam.” I bowed my head with a smile. She wasn’t a woman. She was an angel.
Now. Let’s use some cinnamon for extra…
Your plague [Black Breath] has slain [Villager]You have obtain [26 exp]
CURSES UPON YOU! YOUR LIFE MEANS NOTHING! STOP DISTURBING MEEEE! I need to focus damn it! System! For fuck sake! Disable notification for an hour!
No? Damn it! If I will have to I will do it manually! Control panel – Settings – Customize…
Notifications about obtaining [exp] have been temporarily disabled
THANK YOU!
Now, I should start preparing syrup so…
Do you wish advices regarding [Apple pie creation] to be visualized?
WHAT? Damn it! System! Stop it, you little dense cunt! Artisan is at work! I have to focus!
I just wanted to be nice and help! Asshole!
I don’t need help! I need silence, you little whore! Let me work!
Jerk
Bitch!
* “Mister Zariel? Is everything all right? For a moment you looked a bit….”
* “Oh, that’s your fault, milady! You are such a fine rival, that I had to think about another strategy!”
* “Ah, your words are too kind, if I may give you and advice…”
* “I would be more than grateful…”
Sure. Get advices from that whore instead of me...
God damn it, System!
Tsh.
* “You are trying too hard, just make it plain and simple. Sometimes adding less means more!”
… my-my, maybe I should break up with Gisele for her? I mean, come on! She makes cakes!...Wait, on the other hand, I make them too… maybe I will dump her too for myself? That’s a plan…
For next half of an hour we did our best to prepare the best cakes possible. As we were done we put it into huge stone hearth where the last phase of pie-making would take a place
* “Now the hardest part.” We said in unison, looked at each other and laughed cheerfully
* “Ok, we did our best. Now rest is in hands of angels.” She said
* “Ho? You think that angels have anything in common with your pies? I assure you, only your great knowledge, skills, dedication and love are affecting your creations.”
* “Love?”
* “Of course! How couldn’t you know that?! This is what makes the pie to rise!”
* “I thought that heat…”
* “Nope. It’s love. And it returns to you with every single bite!”
* “I will not argue with an expert.” She admitted “Anyway. As we have to wait for next two hours… maybe we shall talk a little? Brother, lead them to the dining room, I will go to the basement and bring some compote, will be back in a jiffy!”
Poor Greg, he didn’t have anything to be said in that matter. But as soon as his sister vanished behind the door he looked at me as whispered quietly
* “How did you get here and what do you want?”
* “We escaped the cells, freed all the witches, burned it to the ground with all guards inside it then we moved bit to the south-east, bit more to the south, then east and north, where we found a nice old man – traveling merchant that gave us a ride… this is how we get here… and I told you why am I here dozens of times already! When somebody claims that there is world best baker… I will go through gates of hell to try it…. And as soon as pies would be done, and we would try them and then everyone would say that my pie is so much more perfect than your sister’s… I will ask you few questions. And you will answer them honestly. Then we would leave… if you would cooperate, nothing will happen to you two.”
* “… How can I be sure of it?”
* “Because I am the best baker that you have ever seen… oh, wait, you didn’t ask about pies now, did you? One, because I like you, two – because I like her. I usually don’t kill people I like. Unless they try something stupid. Veeery stupid….” In that moment Marla came back holding lots of mugs and carafe filled with dense red liquid
* “Strawberry compote. I always make them great, but this time I surprised even myself.”
We laughed for couple more minutes. We talked about our jobs. I am pretty sure she asked about that from pure courtesy, as I doubt that she was curious how the process of torturing witches looks like.
* “…I have to admit, that being an inquisitor is a job with benefits, especially for such passionate patisserier like myself. Last time I allowed myself to accuse another baker of heresy, and then I took my sweet time to get every receipt he knew…”
* “That’s not best subject to joke about!” Marla called, yet despite what she said she was laughing cheerfully.
* “If that’s the case, let’s change the topic of our conversation! Greg! You confessed to miss Amelia yet?”
His sister’s eyes shined. He was teasing her all the time about finding a husband, yet he himself didn’t get any closer to his own crush.
* “Do we really have to talk about it?”
* “Of course we do!” village baker was more than eager to continue this conversation “… you have no problem talking about me with your friends, but just look at you when somebody talks about Miss Scarlet! You are blushing, bro!”
* “I don’t!”
* “Why are you even waiting? For what? For angels themselves to descend upon this earth and pledge her life in your arms?” I asked
* “… We, the whole order, as teasing her about this matter too. She says that she is either not interested in marriage yet, or that she didn’t find the one…”
* “You dense IDIOT!” I roared, even Marla looked at me surprised “And what do you expect her to say? She in next head of great familia, leader of paladin’s order and has sick family member! Have you ever wonder how much she is carrying on her shoulder? You thought that she would just lay and told you exactly what to do or what kind of men she finds alluring?! Be a god damned support for her! Don’t ask! DO! She struggles? Give her a hand? And stop whining like a little bitch, or I tell you, she will find somebody else! Greg, I like you, this is why I hope you will forgive me what I am about to say… But right now you are behaving like little, oversensitive p…”
* “CAKE IS READY!” Marla jumped from her chair and rushed to the kitchen
I looked at him
* “You are lucky, this time. The cake saved you. But if you think, that this delicious, crunchy, sweet and sour miracle will be saving your ass forever and ever…”
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
I threatened him with a finger. Then I followed Marla to finish the cakes. We waited for them to cool down, then my host begun to cover the pie with powdered sugar, while I poured cherry syrup richly on mine. Then we started cutting them into pieces any lying them on the plates. I cut one additional.
* “For who is that one?” She asked
* “My guardian angel.”
* “So… you just want to eat one more piece yet still sound cool?”
* “My lady, you should work in inquisition’s office.” She just snorted, shake her head and moved to the guest room
I looked once again on the pie
System-chan
Hmph.
This one is for you
....
Go on, don’t be shy.
On my eyes, parts of cake started vanishing. After each “bite” a teeth marks appeared on the edge. Five full bites and cake disappeared.
How was it?
(*_*) (^.^) (x_x) ... more?
I rolled my eyes
Maybe later, sunshine.
YeeeeY
I followed Marla carrying plates with my creation, and as soon as I got into the room I saw everyone already devouring cakes of Marla
* “Do you have no shame? You can’t just swallow a cake! You have to savor it! Tease your buds! Enjoy every moment up to the point of suffering!”
* “Can’t savor those! These are too good!” Jason said in break between bites
* “Exaggerations..” I said while I brought a small dessert spoon with Marla’s cake to my mouth… and then I ate it.
… Somewhere a new life has been born. On the peaceful plains, a gentle breeze blown. Waves of the calm ocean were caressing the stones on the shore. The finest flower bloomed in the wild, unseen by any human. Someone drank from the spring with the purest, crystal-clear water. A unicorn was stepping of the rainbow to run through the world. It was a promise of Eden!
And then there was me, eating a cake. It was something… new, refreshing. The taste was gentle, after first, crunchy bite you were overflowed by the purest taste. So sweet, but so crazy sweet that made you thirsty. It was like… like first cake of your mother!
* “M…Mister Zariel, a…are you crying?”
* “Something fell in my eye, pardon me.”
I did my best to savor the taste, but the desire! As soon as you finished one bite a raging inferno called from your throat demanding more!
* “That was… one hell of a pie…” I admitted.
Will my be nearly as good as this? Will it reach same divines ranks? How can I ever dared to challenge this pie-angel, NO! – PIE-GODDESS! Mine used to be good, but when was the last time I baked anything? Over a year ago! Baking a cake isn’t equal with roasting some bloody meat over the fire! It’s a way of living! It’s an art! A path to full satisfaction!
* “Ok… we tasted Marla’s, now we demand yours!” Jason smiled “…Kid, you better be as good as you claim to be! Otherwise, you would only destroy this wonderful aftertaste!”
We started tasting mine.
The first bite. The first taste – cheery. Sour, savage cheery!
There was no peaceful ocean – there was a raging storm that threw your ship on the sides as a toy, there was no flower in a jungle, there was a savage fight of you and wild beast! Its claws were tearing your skin! A tornado over the plain destroying everything in its path! You were a traveler deep in the mountains, hungry, thirsty and cold. In your exhaustion you noticed a puddle of dirty water, you jumped at it drinking as much as you could.
And then… a cake…an apple inside! So much sugar and cinnamon and… and… a leaf on mint? Barely noticeable, yet it was clearly there!
Old sailor struggled against the storm [COME ON MAN! WE CAN DO IT!] he yelled to his crew and they forced their ship toward more peaceful waters. It was there! On the horizon! With some effort, they can do it! [SURVIVE!] old sailor yelled!
In the last moment, you took a knife from behind your belt and begun to repeatedly stab the creature’s neck. It died in your arm. How many hours did you fight with that creature? How many days you were tracking it?! It doesn’t matter! You are the one victorious! Old Hunter cut the monster’s heart off, raised it in the air above him yelling [I SURVIVED!]
Was water bad? Will give you fever!? DOESN'T MATTER! March onward! This water gave you strength to make another step! A step closer to your goal! To your Eldorado! Onward, you dogs! You can do everything! [I WILL SURVIVE!] The traveler yelled as if challenging gods themselves!
A VOLCANO ERUPTED! ERUPTED! ERUPTEEEEEED!
Bitterness and sweetness need to be combined! One without the other is meaningless! Why take Eden from someone, if you can climb the mountain and covered in blood kick in the heaven’s gate yelling [I DID THAT MYSELF! I DESERVE IT! I CONQUERED IT!]
… Her cake was a promise of love, while mine was a desire to fight in what you believed in! Her was a tempting dream, mine was crude motivation. I look upon my rival, we both were certain about other’s magnificence! Like a dragon I roared, in her direction, she like a tiger bared her fangs!
What would win!? A tiger or a dragon? Peace or struggle? Unicorn or volcano?
* “Oh… my…” Morgana was in awe “… if what you two did here wasn’t a magic… then I don’t what, but surely, both of you can make goddesses jealous … Both were simply perfect, but I am a fan of sweet after bitterness – it feels like a reward!”
One : zero to me!
* “Nah. It was a bit too strong. I prefer those crunchy, gentle oasis of pure taste…”Jason said still munching
OneSurprised [https://forum.royalroadl.com/images/smilies/icon_e_surprised.gif]ne, damn it!
* “DA BOSS! Mhhh! PeRfEcTioN! I am all fired up!” thanks, Pyrox! I knew I could count on you!
* “Brother, brother, sour is better!” Daria said looking at her brother
* “Sister, Sister, sweet is better!” Darik responded.
They looked at each other, nodded and handed each another piece of remaining cakes. That was so sweet of them!
Both me and Marla looked at Greg. He was sweating and looking pale.
* “S..Sorry Zari but sister's is the one that reminds me childhood.”
* “So. A draw. It was quite a splendid battle, madam.” I bowed my head. Yet she shake her head
* “You liked you cake, did you?”
* “Don’t get me wrong. Your was amazing, those fools in my favorite cafeteria in capital aren’t worthy to kiss the ground on which you walk, but I prepared mine the way I love it…”
* “Yes, and I also think yours was better. It was something new! You have to give me your receipt…” I hissed “… I am not letting you go until you do so!”
* “Before I would eventually, perhaps, maybe by any chance probably give you it… please, have it…” I handed her an apple “… from my own court. You won’t find sweeter.”
I smiled. She took it from my hand, admired its perfect red color and took a bite. Her eyes widened and started taking a bite after bite.
* “I can’t believe that such perfects fruits exists on this world! If I would use them in my pies them surly…”
She fell on the ground.
* “MARLA! What did you do to her?” he yelled
* “Check by yourself.” I said sitting behind the table
* “She… she is breathing…”
* “I told you that I don’t like hurting those I like. Yet we need some head start, you see, she will wake up tomorrow. I have one for you too.” I put it on the table in front of me “You will get one as soon as you would answer all my questions.”
* “How can I know that you won’t kill us as soon as…”
* “Her cake was amazing, and I hope to taste it in the future. You on the other hand… well, yeah. You are useless. I have no business to keep you alive. But I also don’t have any reason to kill you. I told ya, you were the only one nice to me… So. I want to talk about your commander. Where does she lives, who is the current head of the house, who exactly is sick and where miss Amelia is right now?”
Few hours later, mansion of House Scarlet
Godrick Scarlet was walking past corridors. He heard that his daughter returned from last mission. She should return home this night or next morning. As commander she needed to return to the barracks in the Order’s quarters to write down records of last mission. Everything needs to be prepared! No, no ball, no party nor such things. Just small dinner with closest family. Still…
Where are the guards? Where are members of staff? It was too quiet.
He pushed the door to the dinning, official hall. Somebody was sitting in his chair. A white haired man… kid? Teen?
* “Good to see you.” Intruder smiled “Please, take a sit.”
… he was invited by a stranger to his own table? How arrogant can one be? Yet this old man wasn’t born tomorrow. He was a hero of quite few battles. He learned to never underestimate his enemies, especially those who silently managed to take over his home.
* “You got a guts to feel like a master in my own home…”
* “Do you know who I am?” he even dared to disturb him in the middle of the sentence
* “No.”
* “I am a man that you daughter were told to kidnap and bring to castle Wergern where I was tortured for few days… you may wonder how am I here then? Great question. Let me just mention that right now castle Wergern is nothing more but ashes and stone… Jason… would you be so kind and pour as whiskey?”
* “You want revenge?”
* “Oh! Please! Think! I heard you are an intelligent man, if I would like to have that vendetta of mine, we wouldn’t be talking!”
Jason approached the table with two glasses and bottle. He poured fair dose into Zari’s glass, moved in direction of Sir Godrick and did the same… then he looked at the bottle with quite some liquid inside, shrug his shoulders and started drinking right from the bottle
* “For the heaven’s sake! Jason! Behave yourself!” yet he kept gulping liquid “You are embarrassing me!” half of bottle was gone “I just want to remind you, that you bought four bottles in last village. If you don’t want me to pour them into river…”
Photmancer put the bottle back on the table in a blink
* “Thank you. What was I just talking abo… Ah! Yes. So. You sister dragged me one hell of a way here, let’s say I didn’t like the cage I was put it. BUT! I kept thinking what I know – about you and church. For sure, church will come one again to ask you to help capturing me. I also heard your younger daughter is sick, am I right?”
* “I have no idea who told you such nonsense…”
* “One of your daughter’s paladins. I am pretty sure that as we were talking near his sister he was rather honest. I also know how church works. Condition of your daughter got any better lately? No? Shame. I told that you daughter too. They would never cure her. They rather having your… gratitude wherever they desire. This is why she would never got cured. And here I am with most powerful paladin, most powerful human – chasing me. So I started thinking. She is too strong for me… what to do to make her stop?”
* “You want to kidnap my Elana?!”
* “FOR FUCK SAKE! THINK! If I wanted to kidnap her, then once again, we wouldn’t have this conversation! I am an alchemist. I am a nature healer. If light magic and prayers didn’t help, why not trying something different?”
* “What if I wouldn’t agree.” Old man asked cautiously
* “I would leave. And never return. And eventually in few more years, maybe few dozens of years, Elana would die. Living horribly boring, pointless life. All time in bed. I won’t promise healing her, all I can promise is doing all I can… and showing her world, even if only for a moment before her death.”
* “You will gamble her life?”
* “I? No. You will. You are doing it right now. Also, you said gamble. Once again, how yours not-gambling-with-church went? She is fine yet? Then why are we having this conversation? I am giving you possibility to shatter your bond with church, I am giving you hope. What hope your daughter have by staying here? What future?”
* “You promise doing everything you can?”
* “Do you want to make a pact with the devil?” I smiled. In same time Sebastian appeared in the air behind, morphed into garuda, pushed his arm into his beak, then throat and belly reaching for something.
Finally he pulled a scroll from his insides.
* “… take this cure item away from me… Very well. Yet I would ever find out that you neglected anything in that matter…”
* “Then what? You would send your older daughter after me? Fine old man. Also… pardon me, but I think you would rather not be accused for plotting with enemy of your country, this is why we will make it look like an assault.”
I grabbed a bottle.
* “If you could please, turn around…”
In next moment I knocked him unconscious by shattering bottle on his head
On the floor, in room of Elana Scarlet four priests were playing cards. It was all right. They told to not be disturbed and young girl was sleeping. Yet still, someone knocked in the door.
* “We told you! A very delicate spell is being waved here! Off you go or you will ruin everything!”
Yet door exploded and hooded man went inside
* “A-ha. Much healing. Very magic. Such dedication. Wow.”
* “Who are you and what are you doing h…”
He wasn’t even allowed to finish his sentence and sharp claws slashed his throat.
* “My name is death and end is here.”
Blood spattered all over the room as a massacre had it place inside of the room.
Young Elana woke up from her slumber, she looked at a man sitting by her bed. He has hair white like a milk, weird eyes – each of different color and he was playing with her hair
* “Hello sunshine. I am here to take you with me?”
* “Are you an angel? Daddy told me that when god people dies an angel comes to take them to heaven.”
* “Angel? Why do you think I am an angel? Why not the devil?”
* “Devils are ugly, and you are too cute to be a devil. “
* “Aww, you will make my heart melt, little morsel. But no. I talked with your daddy. He wants me to cure you.”
* “Will you?”
* “I have no idea sunshine. I will have to take a look at you later on. But, I am considered to be a bad man, and many people are looking for me. This is why I have to leave this place – this country. Tell me sunshine, have you ever seen a sea?”