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First Position
Chapter 23: A Glimpse of Danger to Come, a Quest to Come, and a Brazen Confession

Chapter 23: A Glimpse of Danger to Come, a Quest to Come, and a Brazen Confession

May miles away from Rose and a few from Val, a man sits on a throne, back ramrod straight and nearly motionless, the only sign of his displeasure his index finger slowly tapping on the arm of the gilded throne. Three men kneel in front of him, equally as silent. The silence breaks as the courage of the middle supplicant does.

“Yo-your Grace, if, if it pleases you, I’ll begin my report now.”

The Duke is a statue of sandstone, expression uniform and nearly unnaturally still. Only the gentle tap tap tap of his finger betrays his living nature.

“Right, so, um, we were deployed to the road to Fellpoint, the city with the vermin and the whatnot all livin’ together all peaceful like. The captain said it didn’t matter if a fews of ‘em went missing on the roads. Roads are dangerous and all and we could bring home enough seized goods to please Your Grace. So’s we were doin’ jus’ that and it was going fine, all the boys having a grand ol’ time, when outta the blue some little shit started taking us apart like a butcher does a bunch of swine! Couldn’t ‘ave been savager, a real beast of a man, taller than the captan and twice as mean ‘e was! Had a sword longer than I am tall! Was a whirlwind of violence and blood the likes of which I ain’t seen off a battlefield! Captain got struck down as if by thunder! I an’ the boys fought like true soldiers we did but there was nothin’ we could do against him! In the end it was me, and Joseph and Martin ‘ere left standin’ back to back to back, holding him off as good as we could but my sword broke and that was the end of it. He took us captive and started marchin’ us like animals towards Fellpoint, mutterin’ ‘bout justice and a bunch of other horsepiss of the same like such that I nearly threw up me lunch I did! When anyone tried to pull a runner to come alert the Dukedom of this atrocity he cut most of our heel’s edges he did after knockin’ ‘em silly! It was with great determination that we lived through the ordeal and made it back to inform Your Grace of our mistreatment and this threat to the realm!”

The taps stopped. The statue stood. The statue moved forward, stopping only once his foot was on the back of the middle man’s head and he pushed down, and down, and crack.

There were two men grovelling on the floor of a throne room with a monster between them. The beast opened his mouth and growled a word.

“Truth. Now.”

“Um um um, right, yes, so. Jeffery wasn’t wrong that the Captain said those things, nor that one person wrecked the troop. However the person was a willowy kinda of sort, hard to tell if they were a boy or a girl having just seemed to have started changing like kids do. Damn good with a blade though, and ruthless. But, but, you probably don’t care about that Your Grace. So, so, we were marched or dragged to the town of Fellpoint and locked up. We really thought we were gonners, but had faith in you Your Grace. We were right to place our trust in you as they released us soon after and gave us a wagon to use to return. And that’s how we ended up back here to tell you about it Your Grace.”

“Very well. Dismissed. Take it with you.” The Duke ended derisively, giving no indication what “it” was but the soldiers left seemed to know, as they grabbed the body of Jeffrey and dragged it behind them, a crimson trail left behind. Servants rushed into the room and with efficient, practiced motions cleaned both the floor and the Duke’s boot of the gore. They left as quickly as they had entered and the Duke had returned to being a statue, with chin resting in hand he spoke to the air.

“Percival. So that’s where you went. Still making a mockery of me I see. Disobedient children must be punished. That witch cannot keep you from me anymore, O’ son of mine.”

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“ACHOO!”

“You alright there Val?”

“Yeah, yeah, guess someone’s talking about me. I hope it’s Rose.”

“Don’t they normally say that means they’re speaking ill of you?”

“Eh. As long as Rose is speaking of me that’s enough.”

“Alrighty then, if you say so. Now then, back to work! I’m glad Rose already gave you a rundown on leatherwork as it’s crucial to what you want to do. Armor craft is much more time intensive and materially expensive. Now, this kind of lamellar armor, we’ll need a good bit of high-quality leather, steel or an similar alloy, I’d say giant spider-silk for the threading. Alternatively, I ‘spose ya could use some kind of durable bone if ye can find some instead of the metal, though at that point I’m not sure what yer doin’ here with me!”

“So you’re telling me to go out and hunt something?”

“Aye! I expect ya ta be outta my hair for a few days at least, so best pack some provisions. Here’s the results of the sales of your practice pieces from these last few weeks. It’s not the most but it’s sizeable for an apprentice.”

Girraghen placed a pouch that clinked in my hands.

“Um.”

“Yes?”

“What do the different metals mean?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well some of these coins are made of silver, and some are electrum, and some are copper, so I wondered if there was a meaning for the different metals.”

“Did-did no one ever teach you about money Val?”

“Um. I was taught economic theory and financial management and investment. But, uh, no I was not taught about the value of individual coins.”

“Did that dolt apprentice of mine not teach ye either?”

“Don’t call her a dolt. But, uh, no. She did not. At one point she said that it’d be too hard without any coins to practice with, but that was when I was seven.”

“Alright. Well then. The Treston Electrum is the basic unit of currency. Silver coins are worth half an electrum, copper worth a tenth. Gold coins are worth five electrum and platinum worth ten. Any questions?”

“Why are there no gold coins in this pouch?”

“HAH! Ye think I’m made of coin, do ya? No, Val, this is what ye’ve earned. Important context: one copper is the standardized worth of a loaf of bread. A meal in an inn is usually around three coppers. If you’re ever wondering if someone’s trying to rip you off, just think about ‘How much could I feed myself with this same amount?’ and ye’ll do fine.”

“Alright. Well, I suppose I’m off.”

“Great! Take care Val. Don’t get eaten!”

“Oh um, do you have any leads on a creature that would be best for this?”

“Hmm. There are a good number of creatures in the area, but it’s hard to say what would be best. I’m not very used to using materials from beasts that don’t incorporate metal into their bodies in some way or other. However, you do have a line to the best crafter in the world and I’m sure she wouln’t ignore you if you asked her.”

“I. I’ll think about it. Goodbye for now, Girraghen.”

“That’s Master GIrraghen to you while you’re my apprentice!”

After a slap on the back from Girraghen that nearly laid me flat, I left the smithy, coin purse in my vest pocket, and left for the market. It’s a little daunting, leaving the smithy without Girraghen’s comforting presence. I’ve been there for a few weeks now and have only left once or twice to go shopping for supplies for my black smithing practicing. I have a new sword, the best one I made for practice. It’s better in some ways than the Thorn but I can’t bear to part with Boar’s Thorn. It’s… too precious to me. Checking the stats for the new sword, I see:

Item Name: Flame’s Edge

Item Description: Steel Gauntlet Sword

Item Ranking: C-Rank

Item Stats:

* ATK +75

* DEF +25

* DEX +15

* MATK +50

* MDEF +12

Item Skill: Flame Edge (Passive): School of Destructive Magic. The sword is a conduit for fire mana, allowing one to circulate mana through it as an extension of their body, allowing boosted elemental properties and imparting magical cutting force to the weapon.

Sword made by a talented apprentice. Forged with dedication, a solid weapon for a burgeoning spellblade. May their mana see them through to a future with less turmoil.

Yeah I didn’t know what the flavor text was really hinting at. Though the thought of being a spellblade is nice. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to circulate my mana through it effectively enough. It’s like there’s some kind of dam between me and it: I can feel a trickle flow through it but when I try to increase the flow I cut it off instead. If Rose was here I’m sure she would show me the best way to do it out of four different methods but instead I’m left fumbling in the dark. Wait, Girraghen said to ask her about the armor! Maybe I can ask about the sword at the same time.

Chat with Rose:

Valkyrie: Hey Rose! Can you answer some crafting questions for me?

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

Valkyrie: Rose?

Valkyrie: Alright, guess you’re busy. I’ll just leave the questions here and you can answer when you feel like it, okay?

Valkyrie: I’m planning to make myself some armor. I want to experiment with different armor styles from the different cultures here in Fellpoint so I’m planning on making lamellar armor in the style of the dragonkin, a helmet with cheek plates in the devilkin style, and greaves and gauntlets in the style of felinids, with leather and natural scales. For the lamellar, Girraghen says I need a few different materials, primarily leather, spider silk, and either bone or metal of some kind. I’d like the leather to be the same for the extremities and the chestpiece. All and all, I’m wondering-

Valkyrie: -what kinds of materials I can get around here that would work best I guess.

Valkyrie: Also, I made a sword I can’t really use. It says it’s a fire mana conduit but everytime I try to circulate through it my mana flow gets abruptly cut off. I don’t know what to do to make it work.

Valkyrie: Also, I miss you.

Cheeks burning, I close the chat window and head to the market to shop for supplies.

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Man I might be a creep, but I can’t help it. I keep catching myself staring at Toffee and then she catches me and it’s so awkward right now that I can barely stand it. It SUPER DOES NOT HELP that we sleep in the same bed. I have tried to get her to let me sleep in the chair but she adamantly refuses, saying stuff like “Women need proper beauty rest which is impossible to get while sleeping upright.” and “Do you really think me so heartless as to kick a woman out of her own bed?” and in general just, being near me.

I don’t know why she wants to be so close to me, especially with how I know I’ve been looking at her lately. It’s just… she’s SO DAMN PRETTY that I can’t help it! Like, like, the way she tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s reading, the look of focus when she’s making something, her eyes that I get lost in, her skin like intricate latte art begging me to touch it, it’s ALL TOO MUCH! GAAHHHH how have I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE!?!?? Well, obviously because I…didn’t think of her as a person, just a computer program. Uggghhhh I hate myself so much. I treated her so poorly, no matter what she says I know that I did and it’s just so hard to even try and accept her forgiveness. She’s heard me talk about the basics of my life before death and seemed confused but sympathetic.

Honestly it kinda hurts that she pities me so much for what happened with my parents. It’s not like I didn’t find a way to cope. The gam- this world was my coping mechanism and now I get to live here forever in the body I’ve always wanted so why… why do I feel so empty? Just, like, I don’t fit in my own skin? Gah, Leaf’s sessions have been going strong and I don’t know if it’s helping more than it’s hurting but I think it’ll get better eventually. Leaf says it’s just a matter of figuring out what I want to work on and going from there but I just… don’t know how to put it into words. I wish I could just say that I want to forget forever. To pretend that my life started when I died or something. That way I wouldn’t feel like… like an imposter, like someone wearing a mask all the time. I NEVER want to go back to looking like I did, so why does it feel so bad to just… be me? I dunno, and I probably never will.

Working on the talismans has been going well, it’s gotten to the point that I can almost pick up something heavier than a pen! I also don’t pass through furniture anymore so that’s neat. I think my clothes still count as part of my body so sometimes I kinda feel naked? If that makes any sense at all?

“Whaaatcha thinking ‘bout?”

“Gahjafnjadnanonesgoene!”

“Hahahaha! Sorry to startle you, but you had such a serious look on your face and weren’t moving so I wanted to know what was up.”

“Oh. Um, nothing much?”

“Bull.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said that’s bullshit. If you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to but don’t lie to me and try to make it seem small.”

“How do you know I wasn’t just thinking about new crafting recipes?”

“Because your face wouldn’t have looked like you were at a funeral, it would’ve been lit up like the Solstice Festival.”

“I do not look like that!”

“You’re right! You didn’t look like that just now. So the question is, what got you all down in the dumps out of nowhere?”

I finally turned back to look at her and holy katzenjammer kids she’s so close!

“Bah, ba, um, um, what was the question?”

“Are you feeling ok? Are you sick? Can you get sick?” She said while putting her hand on my forehead, supposedly to test for a fever I’m pretty sure is impossible with the whole, “no bodily functions” thing. Still, her face is so close and so beautiful and her eyes are like pools that I can’t help but drown in and and and whoopsie there I go falling over.

“Rose! You really aren’t feeling ok! That’s it, you’re getting into bed and getting some rest. Clearly eight years without sleep can’t be solved with two weeks of normal rest!”

“Wait wait, Toff, I’m fine, really, I just lost focus for a second there it’s fine.”

“Just shut up and come with me, or do I have to carry you like a princess to get you into your own bed?”

Images of Toffee carrying me bridal style and throwing me on the bed and getting on top of me and- NOPE NOPE NOPE do not go there Rose! That way lies madness and disappointment! Wait, oh no, while I was lost in the THOUGHTS WE CANNOT THINK, Toffee apparently had enough and picked me up anyway! Why is her face always so close?!? Why is she strong enough to carry me? Why is this the safest I’ve felt in… my entire life? Fuck really???

Grabbing some of her shirt I open my mouth to speak, she looks down at me and the words just sort of…melt away and I’m left here opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water.

“Hehehe, cute.” She mutters under her breath, smiling gently and shooting my heart twice over.

“What?!” I squeak out. She didn’t just call me cute, right? I’m like the opposite of cute! I’m like, the worst person so why…?

“I. Said. You’re. Cute.”

“Why?”

“Because you are, that’s all.”

“I can’t be cute, don’t lie to me.”

“Oh really? Who’s really the one lying to you here? ‘Cause from what I know, you’re one of the cutest people I know.”

“What about me could possibly be cute?” I said. Well, pouted really. I don’t want to act this way, but it’s hard not to when she’s clearly teasing me.

“Let’s see… Just now, you were blushing so hard that your entire face was tomato red, which was pleasant to see. The way you opened your mouth only for nothing to get out was precious. The way you bite your lip and hum when you’re thinking about crafting, your exuberance when discussing recipes and generally teaching people how to craft themselves… need I go on?”

“Nope! Nope, that’s, uh, that’s plenty.”

“Alright then. I’ll stop there but just know that I could go on.”

“Um…”

“Yeah Rose?”

“Toffee… Um, Toff, do you actually like me?”

“Pfft. Yeah I do you dolt.”

“Umm…just, how do you like me?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“Well, you used to just call me Boss, but ever since I got here you’ve been using my name more and more, and then you said all that embarrassing stuff just now, and in general you’ve been taking really good care of me and helping me when I don’t deserve it so just… why? I guess is what I’m asking?”

“Hmmm… Let’s see… Do you want to know the easy answer, the hard answer, or the dirty answer?”

“There’s a WHAT!?!?”

“Easy, hard, or dirty, take your pick.”

“Umm, umm, why is there a dirty answer?”

“I feel like that one should be obvious.”

“IT’S REALLY NOT!”

“Hahahahah, alright alright, no need to shout in my ear. I take it you don’t want to hear the dirty answer then?”

Thoughts of Toffee and me doing dirty things once again flash through my brain and and nope nope nope do not think of that do not think of that it’s not going to happen you’re misunderstanding somehow.

“Hmm, looks like you already have an idea of the dirty answer from that look just now but I suppose I’ll move on. So, easy or hard answer, which do you want?”

“What exactly makes them easy or hard?”

“Hmm… I guess easy is more flippantly worded and hard is a bit more eloquent.”

“Can…can I have both?”

“My my my, someone’s greedy today. Fine, I don’t mind. Let’s see. We’ll do easy first. I like you. Simple as that. You might be super dense but I also like that about you. One day I hope to truly love you and you me. The Hard answer goes something a bit like this. Everyday you bring light and joy into my life. Your smile feels like the sun shining on a spring afternoon. Your laugh is always something new, exciting and mysterious and just plain silly in turns. Even though now you only have the one dress you still have great taste in fashion that I greatly appreciate. Your mind is razor sharp and your social graces are nearly non-existent which results in an endlessly entertaining dichotomy. When you feel sorrowful or self-destructive it hurts me more than any physical wound I’ve ever received and I want to do nothing except pull you from the thoughts that seek to wipe out your smile. You’re everything I want in a partner and I want to keep you in my life for the rest of time. How’s that for an answer?”

“My head is exploding. I would say my heart but that exploded after the easy answer so I’m just going to sit here quietly for a bit.”

“But Rose, you’re not sitting, I’m holding you and as might be obvious by the fact that I’m sitting on the bed and haven’t let go yet, I don’t want to put you down just yet.”

“Um. That’s… that’s fine.”

“I’m sorry Rose but could you speak up? I didn’t quite catch that?”

“I SAID IT’S FINE! So just, keep holding me, okay?”

“Alright then, I can do that. Also, Rose, I don’t expect you to reciprocate right away. Just, keep it in mind. If it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll leave it be.”

“NO! No, I just- it’s a lot all at once… but again, I don’t hate it. Just… give me a little time to come to grips with it. But, also, can you promise me something?”

“Anything Rose.”

“Can you keep hugging me now and then? It’s really nice and I never got to experience it before.”

Toffee’s grip tightened a little on me and she started shaking a little. Oh. I guess she hated the ide-

“Your parents never hugged you?”

“Haha. Um. No, not that I remember. They were always distant and…um… didn’t appreciate certain proclivities of mine.”

“Like what?”

“I always wanted to wear pretty clothes like dresses and skirts. I always wanted to play with dolls and stuffed animals. One time when I was six they caught me trying on my Mom’s bra. It, uh, never ended well for me.”

“If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to but if you can, tell me, did they hurt you?”

“Haha. Yeah. Yeah they did. I told you, didn’t I? My Mom’s the one that poisoned me. I guess they’d finally had enough of their failure of a son.”

My throat was dry, choking up. I never felt like this when talking about it before so why does it hurt so much now?

“I wish I could go to your world so I could kill them for you.” Toffee spat with such loathing that it kinda scared me a little. I never knew she had this side to her. Looking at her face from below, it seemed sculpted in barely contained rage and a dealy glint in her eyes. She seemed like an avenging angel, ready to smite down those that dared harm her charge.

“Toff. Toff it’s okay. It’s in the past. What’d done is done and they can’t hurt me anymore. Just…take a deep breath and come back, okay?”

A deep shuddering breath ran in and out of her and as she looked back down at me the sculpture cracked and she was the same Toffee I knew again, as though no trace of the angel was left. I think I finally understood why angels said “Be not afraid.” They might be terrible to their foes, but only to protect people. At least, that’s what I felt from her in this moment.

“I’m sorry Rose. I lost my head there for a second. I’m really sorry if I scared you. It’s just… the thought of someone hurting you makes me furious.”

“No, no it’s okay. I was a little scared but I’m also a little… happy? Just, don’t fly off the handle for something that doesn’t matter.”

“Why do you keep saying that you don’t matter?”

“Because I don’t?”

“Rose. Please. Shut up about that. You mean everything to me and I hope that you can come to mean something to yourself. In fact, I know you can, you just need time. Loving someone else is infinitely easier than loving yourself, but you need to make yourself your first priority. That’s why I’m more than willing to wait and be here for you until you get there. Just know that I’m not going to abandon you anytime soon.”

I felt hot water coming to my eyes and running down my face. Wait, that’s not right. I can’t cry. So why… why can I? It is the talismans? But…there’s nothing in them that would let me do that. I don’t understand anything anymore but also… it’s really nice to be able to cry. I haven’t been able to properly cry for- for forever really. I found myself clutching onto Toffee and burying my face in her stomach, just letting everything out. I distantly felt her rocking me and saying something I couldn’t hear.

Somewhere along the way I felt myself slip away into the oblivion of sleep.