After Val went to sleep, I kept thinking about Toffee. I guess she has a status screen now. Weird. Did she always? Does everyone now? I’m almost scared to send her a message. What do I even say? “Hi Toffee! It’s been awhile! I haven’t spoken or paid you in 8 years because I died and started haunting a small child! Do you want to grab a coffee sometime with my ward?” Like the fuck, that’s no way to start a conversation with someone who proably, rightly, hates my guts for vanishing one day and treating her like shit for 3 years. I mean, what kind of person was I in her eyes during the days of the game? Does she even remember me? I haven’t come across any records of me in any of the books Val’s been taught, but they’ve mostly been taught lie, ancient or military history, nothing more modern than like, the civil war 50 years ago or whatever. Fuck, I hope she doesn’t remember me, I was a terrible boss. Fucking piece of shit Rose, goes radio silent in her workshop for days at a time, leaving you to man the phones and take orders because she can’t be bothered? Awful, terrible, I’m the worst!

“You have 1 new message from Toffer ‘Toffee’ Zendzana.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. What? No! What? How!? Fucking hell I’m even more scared now! She contacted me first! What do I do, do I ignore it? No, idiot, don’t ignore it, don’t be an even bigger piece of shit than you used to be! Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t want to, I really don’t but, here goes.

Chat with Toffee:

Toffee: You’re alive? Wow boss, that’s some great luck you have there! We should meet up, get the team back together! Where are you now? Where were you? Do you need help? Let me know what I can do! I’m still living in my, ahem, our house. Come home soon, ok? It’s been too quiet without you.

Rose: I. What? You don’t hate me for leaving for 8 years?

Toffee: Why would I hate you? You definitely didn’t leave on purpose, right? There’s no way you’d up and abandon all your work and materials for that long without a reason, right? Also, you were the best boss I ever had! These last 8 years I’ve been bouncing from gig to gig but none of them have felt right, you know?

Rose: I. Yeah. I swear I didn’t mean to leave. Um, someone poisoned me. You asked if I was alive? Uh. The answer isn't yes in the traditional sense.

Toffee: That’s a weird thing to say. Normally when people die they can’t type anymore.

Rose: Yeah, well I uh, am a ghost. I only recently regained the chat function. I’m not sure entirely why it happened. I can’t interact with the physical world except through magic. So far the only people who can see me are people from a specific family for some reason and, well, a pair of gods.

Toffee: Hah. That sounds like you alright. One more wacky adventure I guess. I’m sure you’ll get a new body somehow, even if you have to build it yourself lol.

Rose: That’s your takeaway?

Toffee: Haha, yeah, sounds like you is all. Boss, you one time left for 2 days and came back without eyebrows, holding a dragon’s heart in one hand and the staff of the Archmagi in the other claiming you’d gotten lost looking for a specific kind of mushroom. You then smacked your forehead and shouted oh no the mushrooms!

Rose: I’m mad that you’re right. And they weren’t just any mushrooms, they’re quasi-phasic toadstools, they literally teleport not only between locations but also between dimensions! Do you know how hard they are to catch? And besides, that lich with his pet lizard were chumps. They had no sense of style or humor.

Toffee: I’m glad neither death nor 8 years a ghost have changed you.

Rose: Oh yeah, you said I was the best boss you’d ever had. How on earth is that true? I left you alone without instructions for days at a time!

Toffee: You think that made you a bad boss? Lol, that made you an amazing boss. As long as I took down orders when they came in I was free to do whatever I wanted during work hours. That’s how I read enough to get a degree at the Magic Academy.

Rose: Really? What degree?

Toffee: Restorative Arts with a minor in Offensive Spellcasting

Rose: Going for a whole warrior healer kinda vibe?

Toffee: More like a Oh you got hurt by that monster? Well I’ll heal you but if you go down again I’m going to fight it myself sort of thing.

Rose: Lol that’s great. Oh, also, on the whole ghost thing, I’m currently haunting a teenager, have been for all 8 years. They’re great, their name is Valkyrie, or Val for short.

Toffee: Wild.

Rose: Yeah, so uh, I hope you get along with them when we manage to get back your way.

Toffee: Where are y’all currently?

Rose: The edge of the Quentin Dukedom heading towards a place called Fellpoint.

Toffee: Never heard of it. Fellpoint that is, I know about the Sword Duke and all.

Rose: Apparently it’s a little community of non-human people. Like demonkin, beastfolk, and draconids. Seemed like our best shot when we got exiled.

Toffee: Of course you got exiled. How does a teenager even get exiled? That requires the Duke’s personal seal and like, why would he care about some kid that much?

Rose: That kid may or may not have been his kid who, uh, almost killed him. Because he threatened me. Yeah Val’s great but apparently has some violent tendencies when it comes to my life and people who put it in danger.

Toffee: Aww, sounds like they have a crush on you

Rose: Nah, I think they see me like a big sister figure. I mean, I’ve known them since they were 5, no way there’s romance in that cute little head.

Toffee: Oof, family zoned. That’s brutal boss.

Rose: I’m gonna tell you to drop this shit before you meet them, it’s kinda gross. Val’s like my little sibling and I’m not gonna have you ruin them with your trashy romance plotlines.

Toffee: Wow, rude. First off, they’re fun not trashy. Secondly, I think it’d be cute, you’d be their first love!

Rose: Just drop it.

Toffee: Fine, but I’m still gonna think it!

Rose: Whatever. Oh yeah, have you heard from the guild?

Toffee: Nah, they kinda disappeared too. No one can get in their building either. Maybe you could? You were a member after all. The building’s also indestructible it seems, so the town can’t knock a hole in it or anything.

Rose: Lol, of course they can’t get in. I’m the one that built that thing and the one that warded it. It’d take divine intervention to break the weathervane, let alone the walls. I’m even a little insulted that they thought my work was that shoddy

Toffee: Boss, pretty sure they just thought that the biggest plot of land in the city should be in active use and paying rent.

Rose: We had it on auto-pay from the guild funds. Even as expensive as it was, I’d think it’d be paid up through about 2 years ago.

Toffee: Yeah that was when they tried to really get in.

Rose: Lol. Oh yeah! Are you still getting paid?

Toffee: How do you think I afforded to go to university without pawning your stuff?

Rose: Well, I guess I’ll have to think of it as a house-sitting fee. Place didn’t burn down, right?

Toffee: Nah, place is still standing. I keep it clean too. Except for the vault, cause I can’t get in because someone was paranoid.

Rose: I just don’t like people touching my valuables without me knowing about it

Toffee: A miser as always boss.

Rose: Rude. I still paid you for 8 years of not working didn’t I?

Toffee: And I am forever grateful, oh master of the business. Anyway, I have to sleep, you should too. Talk to you later!

Rose: Yeah, sleep. Good chatting with you Toffee. Later!

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Toffee: Oh yeah, Boss? Welcome back. For real, it’s been way too quiet with you gone.

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When I woke up, Rose looked like she’d been crying. How do I know? It’s not because her eyes get puffy, but because she kinda hunches in on herself and just generally looks miserable afterwards. Even when she happy cries she does it. I think she doesn’t like crying more than whatever made her cry. Maybe she was taught not to cry like I was, in which case, we’re both bad at listening to instructions. I also know that she doesn’t like it when I ask her what made her cry so I shouldn’t, but I’m so curious. Is it the pain she’s in physically? Not only does she have that always pain I felt in the weird memory dream, but now she’s honest to the gods injured?

That’s right! She’s still injured! I need to figure out a way to heal her. But that would probably require magic I don’t know. Hmm this is hard. Ah, she sees that I’m awake and is wearing her “I wasn’t crying just now” mask. I hate it when she does that, I want her to trust me.

“Morning Rose.”

“Morning Val! Seems like a good day ahead.”

“Why do you think that? Some kind of divination magic?”

“Nah, just any day with my best buddy is a good day!”

Fuck! Not that smile like the sun! Gah, my face is heating up and my heart is beating a thousand miles a minute. It’s unfair how nice she is to me!

“I. I. Um. Yeah, it’s going to be a great day.”

“Maybe you should drink more water. I’m really worried about how red your face keeps getting sometimes.”

“I’m fine! But maybe water will help?”

I take out my canteen and guzzle the whole thing down in one go.

“Whoa! Easy there buddy! Don’t drown yourself or anything! The water’s not going anywhere!”

“Wow yeah I feel better loads better so much better anyway let’s get going!”

“Geez and you say I talk fast. But sure, let’s get going. Oh, and by the way remember a while ago when I mentioned I had a house?”

“Yeah?”

“Well turns out it’s still around and still belongs to me. Same with all my materials from the old days!”

“That’s great Rose! But how do you know?”

“I um, used the chat to get in contact with my employee.”

“You had an employee?”

“Yeah, her name’s Toffee. She’s great. Also I’ve apparently been paying her for the last 8 years and she put herself through magic school with the money. Apparently, I’m a great boss.”

“Hmm. That last one doesn’t sound right to me.”

“You little twerp! If I had hands I’d noogie you so hard!”

“Jokes on you! I don’t know what that means!”

“Aha, the old and trusty shield of ignorance wouldn’t save you this time, if only I had hands! If I only did I’d-”

“Wait Rose!”

“Yeah Val, what is it?”

“I see smoke!”

I whip around and lo and behold, over the next hill a steady stream of smoke rises from the road. Which is straight. So it’s not a fire by the side of the road, too much smoke in the wrong place. I float up to my maximum height…and keep going past it. What? Am I no longer tied to Val? Wait! Not the time! About 500 feet in front of us on the road is a wagon on fire, I can see people in metal armor and…Ah fuck that’s a kid. Something fucked up is happening here. I shoot down and shout at Val.

“Run! People need help!”

“Right!”

Val takes off sprinting while I match pace, flying as fast as I can imagine and we arrive together just as one of the armored men raises their weapon, a glaive, to stab through the heart of a young demonkin girl. As he thrusts downward, Val’s Thorn cuts the shaft in two and they carelessly smack the blade away into one of the man’s companions. The two men don’t even get to say anything before Val has them both incapacitated. Meanwhile, I quickly cast some water magic to put out the fire on the wagon’s canopy. As I do I had seen an adult being attacked on the other side of the cart and sped over. The Demonkin adult, seemingly a man in his thirties, was kneeling in front of who I suspect to be the leader of the soldiers, one arm severed, swaying side to side from blood loss. The soldier commander seems to be reveling in the scene. That is, before I flick two fingers and his heart stops. I don’t have a spell called “Heart Stop” or anything. What I do have is a spell called Silent Lightning. Which essentially shoots an undetectable bolt of lightning at my target. If they are low level, it’s an insta-kill. Very handy. Well, low level compared to me.

The subordinates started looking around for the killer but their eyes passed over me like I wasn’t there. Like usual. Good. Let’s put the fear of me into them. I was about to cast a spell that would make their blood start to heat up. I know the two versions of the spell: Heat Blood and Boil Blood. I’m using the first one now but before I get the chance a blur blips by and suddenly all the men are bent over clutching their ankles. Shit, did Val just cut all of their achilles’ tendons?! Fucking brutal little buddy!

Instead of worrying about them, I turn to the man on the ground who seems to have passed out. Fuck. Can’t be helped. I cast Life’s Embrace, a spell that closes wounds and restores HP over time. It should also restore the lost blood over time, so that’s good. Unfortunately I’d need a lot more mana than I have left to restore his arm. Well, the magic would grow him a new arm, but same difference. He’d go from being all right to being alright. Man that was in awful taste, glad I didn’t say it out loud.

----------------------------------------

As I finished wiping the blood off my sword and giving all but one of the soldiers on the ground the “kick to the head” solution to insomnia, I look over at the poor man I assume to be a merchant based on his clothing. Hmm, seems he was badly injured and is now unconscious, however, his wounds have healed and he’s resting easy. Suppose that was Rose. And she is… wearing a shit eating grin and trying not to laugh. What on earth am I going to do with her? Well, no matter. Just as I turn to go make sure the girl from earlier is still ok, I hear a small sound come from her mouth as she peeks around the back edge of the wagon. She ducks behind the wagon when she sees me notice her. Is. Is she scared of me? I look down at myself and see I have blood all over me, not fully soaked but too noticeable against my clothing. Also, I’m still carrying the Thorn. Whoops, no wonder she’s scared of me. I turn to Rose and hiss.

“Hey, Rose. Can you clean the blood off me? The girl is scared.”

“Wow really? How could she be scared of a cute kid like you?”

“Just do it!”

“Fine, fine. Also, tell her that her, um, friend here is going to be asleep for a while but should be fine other than the missing arm. I, uh, will get rid of the severed arm before you two come around the corner.”

She proceeded to twirl her finger in my direction and I could feel water rush over my clothing before evaporating, leaving me clean and dry. Man I need to learn that, can’t rely on her for everything. She then turned towards the arm on the ground and started casting another spell. Something to ask about later, but the girl takes precedence. Sheathing the Thorn at my hip, I walk carefully around the wagon at a 10 foot distance, trying not to scare the girl by suddenly turning the corner. I keep my hands in the air, palms open facing her and a, I hope, gentle smile on my face.

When she sees me, she blinks a lot. Yeah, figures. She then opens her mouth as if to speak but closes it again. I figure I’ll take the lead here.

“Hi. My name’s Val. I’m just passing by and saw you all in trouble and thought I’d help. You don’t have to be scared of me. I’m a nice person, I promise.”

“...”

“Can you speak?”

She nods her head.

“Alright. What’s your name?”

“...Emmy.”

“That’s a lovely name Emmy. I’m not going to make you tell me what happened. Instead, I’ll let you know that the older man you were with is safe. He’s resting now and will be alright. However, he did suffer a wound that I couldn’t heal and is missing an arm. I’m telling you this now so that you can try and prepare yourself for when you see him.”

“Daddy’s missing his arm! Wawawaw what can we do to help him! Please, you have to help him!”

“I think I’ve helped him all I can for right now. Do you know where you were going?”

“Um. um. Daddy. Daddy said we were going home to see Mommy and Lexy.”

“Is Lexy your sibling?”

“Yeah! She’s my big sister. She’s really nice, unlike Daisy’s big brother who’s always mean.”

“Alright. How about I go put your dad in the wagon and then you two can keep an eye on him and make sure he drinks some water when he wakes up, ok?”

“Ok. And you’re sure he’s alright? Even without an arm?”

“I think he’ll be fine. Lots of people manage with only one.”

“Okay. I hope he’s not too sad from losing it.”

“Me too Emmy. Alright, here, I’ll give you a hand up into the wagon.”

“Thaaaanks!”

I pick her up at the waist and gently put her in the back of the wagon. I think she might be five? Hard to tell. I then turn the corner to find the severed arm missing and Rose… asleep?! She’s passed out while leaning against the wagon. And she’s not pretending for once, she’s genuinely sleeping! This has never happened before! Oh no how much magic did she… I look towards the father and yup. The fucking dumbass that I love has managed to regrow the man’s arm. And from the looks of it that took a toll on her, which caused her to fall asleep. Fuck. Me. She’s too nice for her own good. Maybe she heard my conversation with Emmy and heard how distressed she was and did it against her better judgment? Aggghhh, who knows with her!

I pick up the father, who’s a bit heavier than I expected, and get him in the wagon…which is hard given my height. I do manage though. So now the family is together in the wagon and Emmy is looking at me confusedly seeing that her dad has two perfectly good arms. I put my finger to my lips

“I managed to fix it but this is our secret. He never lost an arm, okay?”

“Mhm!” She nods her head a lot and then mimes sewing her lips shut.

“Excellent. Now, I’m going to go tie up the men that attacked you so that they can’t hurt you anymore, alright?”

“Ok. Be careful though! They’re really mean. Meaner than Daisy’s big brother!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”

I step down from the wagon and turn my gaze towards the soldiers bearing the emblem of the Quentin Ducal House and get to work.