Entry: 278

I’m not sure what to write today.

My entire life I’ve dreamed of achieving eternal life, living forever. To a cultivator can there be anything greater?

Today I saw a respected senior of mine put to rest, he was no longer himself.

Cultivators are supposed to be extremely resilient, they are called gods by some, seen as the apex of human evolution.

How is it that they’re actually so weak, powerless and volatile?

Dementia and schizophrenia. They were all diseases I studied when I was still on earth, in my past life. I thought that as a cultivator I would be freed of such a possibility.

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Who in their right mind would expect a cultivator to go senile?

Is this some kind of cruel joke, the diseases I listed are neuro-degenerative, cultivators are not vulnerable to such things.

I learned after coming to this world that the soul exists, is it possible that a version of these diseases exists within the qualia we possess?

I think that I need to study this.

I refuse to believe that these things are truly impossible to solve.

He destroyed his own sect, I saw the disciples he cherished like children, torn apart at the seams.

I saw mortals who gave offerings to the sect, slaughtered at the gates.

A man with the legacy of a saint, reduced to a man that slaughtered his own sect. If fate exists I curse the one who has weaved it so.