Bucks turns, slowly walking up to him with a tired smile. Steve leaves the wall to meet him, hoping to be able to ward off any too familiar advances his friend might want to make on him. But Bucky only places his hands on Steve's shoulders, not even pulling him closer, just smiling, and once the noise drowns out a bit, saying: "It's nice to have you with me again.“ Cap's hope goes up, praying Bucks might have seen through the charade, and finally noticed that this is not the reality he came from. But then his partner adds: "After all, it's a special place for us.“, he laughs a little, "Still can't quiet believe you damaged private property just to write something sweet for me!“ Steve furrows his brows, and turns to look at the spray paint covered wall, when his friend smirks: "On the other side, silly!“, lowering his arms.
Rogers is thankful he's retreating on his own, and actually he'd rather not go looking at what his other self has drawn on the concrete, but Barnes half leads him to go round the corner, so with a sigh he follows the invite. Yet when he sees the gray cement, hardly lined with paint, and more covered in ivy, he starts to search it with his eyes, confused at what Bucks might mean. The floor is littered with some bottles and cans, probably thrown from one of the passing trains. But the wall looks rather blank, only a few practice scribbles from graffiti artists, and some vulgar pictograms are on it.
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Steve steps a bit closer, and finally sees something that might fit the bill, half covered by the ivy, when he hears a metallic click, something like a thud, and shattering, as the concrete above his head loses a chip, falling next to his foot, and leaving a crater with a hole in the middle. Like a bullet would do. He turns around, and sees Bucky standing a few feet behind, pointing a gun at him. His eyes get big and he wants to ask: "But Bucky...“ "You better stop taking my name in vain, pal!“, Bucks growls at him, "Or else this is gonna be a very long night for you! There is only one man who's allowed to call me that, and you're not him!“
Steve blinks at him, to explain: "Now hold on, that's not...“, but Bucks just hisses: "Don't even try to deny it! No matter how fucked up he might be from amnesia gas, Steve would never, ever forget his kids, and look at them like they're some surprise obstacle his superiors failed to inform him about!“ His eyes glare at Steve with cold hate, and a hidden fear he's trying to suppress. Just like the real Bucky. Hydras creature. The part of him, they molded into the Winter Soldier, and that he'd sometimes let loose, when they needed someone ruthless to do a job, that nobody wanted to do.
It hurts Rogers to see him back like this, he wants to apologize, wants to tell him the truth, wants to comfort him: "Okay, look, I'm really sorry, Bucky, but I am the real Steve! I am...“ "SHUT! Up.“, his friend interrupts however, aiming the gun a little lower, as he snarls: "And don't speak to me like that, I've warned you! I don't know what you are. You look like Steve, you sound like Steve, you smell like him...“, he steps a bit closer, "Your lips even taste the same as his. But you are not my husband.“ Cap slumps a little at this awkward revelation, putting up his hands to show he wont be a threat, and backing away, as he tries to reply: "Well, uhm, that may be right, but it's the other way around! He wasn't real.“
Another strange thudding click is the answer, and he suddenly feels a burning pain on his left upper arm, next to his elbow, while the wall behind it splinters into a new crater. He has to clench his teeth and cover the area with his hand, when he feels he is hurt and bleeding. And realizes, that the White Wolf just shot at him! "That felt real, didn't it?“, his old comrade mocks, "Now unless you want to keep up your charade and mimic Steve's 'I can do this all day', you better stop your bullshit and answer me!“, then he turns dead serious and demands: "Where is he? What did you do to him? He better not be dead, or else I'm gonna make you wish, you were!“
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Now Steve is starting to fret. The pain feels real, and he has no doubt that Bucks would make good on his threat, if his answer doesn't satisfy him. And remembering how fruitless his last endeavor to escape the dream was, he fears this could turn ugly. So he looks his friend in the eye and hopes he sounds sincere, when he tells him: "He isn't dead. I didn't kill him. But it's not like he exists anymore either.“ His buddy's look changes for a second, into a confused and fearful one, but then his brows sink into a vicious frown, as he snaps: "That was the worst possible answer!“, and shoots at his right shoulder.
Rogers yelps in pain, and half closes his eyes in distress, so that Barnes can easily overpower him. Punching his belly, kicking his left shin, and turning him around, to also smash his head against the wall, making him dizzy. The White Wolf fixates him with a safety hold, and pressing the gun against his neck he snarls: "Last chance, bitch, before I'm gonna make you wish this was just a nightmare: Where! Is! He?!“ "But it is! It's just a dream, Bucky, please listen to me!“, Cap shouts in pain and frustration, "None of this is real, your home, your family, this bridge, the park, it's all a dreamworld that you made up! AARGH!!“
Bucks is smashing his elbow into his back, yelling: "Shut up with your Hydra shit, I'm not going back! If you're not willing to tell me where Steve is, I'm going to make you!!!“ "But I am Steve! I AM STEVE!!!“, Cap cries, "I'm your best friend, I just want to get you home, you're dying!“ Strangely enough, this gets the other of his back, and Steve places his hands against the cement, trying to catch his breath, and fight the pain. But only for two seconds, until his childhood friend turns him back round, challenging him with angry eyes: "Oh really? Prove it then! What's our safeword?“ Steve stares back confused: "Safeword?", furrowing his brows, as does his friend.
However, as he continues: “What's that? Uh... Please just listen to me...“, Bucks simply presses the gun against his chest with an angry look. In a desperate attempt, Steve wrings it from his grasp, and turns it on his friend instead, pleading: "Stop! Stop it please, Bucky, I really am Steve! Just let me talk to you!“ "So you can manipulate me?“, his friend argues, and tries to punch him. Thus, backing aside, he aims at his leg, and whimpering: "Please forgive me!“, pulls the trigger. But the weapon jams. Bucks stays where he is for a second, then shakes his head: "You really have no clue, do you?“
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Steve looks at the gun, points it at the ground and tries again, but still nothing budges. Meanwhile, his old friend slowly pulls out a hidden knife from his belt, and growls: "Whatever you guys did to him, he was strong enough to resist. And now you get to suffer the consequences.“ Cap looks up just as he jumps at him, slicing at his hand so he drops the weapon for Bucks to catch. Who aims it at his right collar bone, while his victim is hissing in pain, trying to wrap the itching, bleeding hand in his shirt, feeling once more the stinging cuts in his arm and shoulder, and cursing through clenched teeth: "Fucking shit.“
The former Winter Soldier shushes him in a condescending voice: "Now, now, don't get out of character, you were doing so well! But hey, maybe now you feel like talking straight with me?“ Rogers has to lean against the wall, and gulping tries a different approach: "Look Buck-s. I get that you're scared, and hurt, and angry, but so am I! I just came here to find my friend...“, but Barnes shuts him up, by putting his knife against his throat, while he scoffs: "Oh, so that's a no then? What a shame.“ Steve is getting really upset, and so snaps: "Well, alright then, fine! You want him back? Kill me, that should do it! I only got to take his body anyways!“
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
At last, this gets Bucks to stop with the aggression, and the pressure he puts against his weapons becomes softer, while he steps back a bit, furrowing his brows. Just to squint at his friend, and ask in a dry voice: "You took his body?“ Steve takes a deep breath, nods and hopes he will now give him a chance with his side of the story. Instead, Bucks only pockets the gun, and still holding up the knife, puts the free hand on Steve's cheek, whispering: "Stevie? Is that really you? Are you in there?“ The look he's giving him is almost more painful than the bleeding wounds and the bruises. So he quietly answers: "I really am Steve. The real Steve, from outside this world...“
"LIAR!“, Bucky screams, tightening his grip and reaching back for his gun, his eyes cold again, and Steve yells unnerved: "Why wont you listen to me?“, and when the gun is back on his collar bone, "And what do you want with that thing, it's broken!“ But then Bucky aims the gun next to his face, and shoots once more, nicking Steve's ear and pulverizing more concrete, making his friend flinch. And then growls: "Stark tech. Customized to my hand. Only I can shoot it. Steve thought it was a good compromise, if I didn't want to give up on a private firearm.“, he comes closer, aiming it back at the bone, "Even you stupid Hydra bitches should be able to find out something like that. Why are you playing so dumb? Do you think, I'll take pity on you, and believe you're just a victim too?“
It's too much. Too real, too scary. Too complicated. Steve just wants to leave, and so, even though he's dreading the process, he moves his eyes up to the left corner. Once, twice, three... "Don't even think it, asshole!“, Bucks suddenly shouts, and moves to press the knife against Steve's eye socket, the tip of the blade pointing at the pupil, "I'm not letting you get away that easy! You try to chicken out with another heart attack, I'll gouge out your eyes, one by one!“ Steve stares at his friend in horror, but the cold soldier warns him: "Don't play with me you bastard! I swear to God, I will do it! And I will notice, if you try! Cuz here's a little secret, I'm sure you didn't know!“, he leans in to whisper in his ear, "I know what you look like, when you want to do it. I don't even have to see your face to know what's going on.“
Steve gets shivers down his spine, and when he meets the former Winter Soldier's eyes, he's convinced he's telling the truth. And now he really feels threatened, thinking how he's supposed to move his eyes, if they are no longer there. Even if he is just dreaming. He's starting to sweat, and makes one last attempt to reach his buddy: "Bucks please, I just want to go home with you! I only want you to be okay, your body is decaying, you're trapped inside a tank, and we just want to get you out!“, but the other man silences him, by sticking the gun into his mouth, scraping the gums and chipping away a piece of canine tooth, giving Steve new pain to suffer, as he hisses: "Listen here you little shit! It's getting old, and I'm starting to really lean into the whole 'torture to break them' thing, so you better put on something new, before I'll make you sing!“
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Steve starts to cry, as Bucks slowly retracts the gun, and also the knife, breathing heavy while focusing on him. His victim argues hurt: "You know, if the person really doesn't know anything, it's just sadistic to harm them. That's not, who you are!“ But Bucks only pockets the gun once more, and insists: "You're right. It's not who I am. It's what your people turned me into! So, what goes around, comes around. And I know you aren't telling me everything...“ "Because you wont listen!“, Steve interrupts desperate, "I AM STEVE! And I just want to get you out safely! Like I promised you.“ Bucks only sneers: "You really sound like you believe that. They've conditioned you well. Unlucky for you, I know how to break people.“ He eyes Steve up and down, then pointing the knife back at his face demands: "Alright, hands behind your back.“
Steve complies, and has to inhale and whimper, when he is turned towards the wall anew, Bucks tearing up his shirt to tie his hands together, making the cut on his hand burn even more. "But... You said yourself, I am like him! How can you do this to his body?“, Steve questions, hoping to reach his friends compassionate side. And then he hears a zipper, and Bucks huffing: "Yeah, lucky for me, they modeled you real good after him. You look just like his clone. Maybe you are. But they should have given you a better training.“ Steve hears how he ruffles to open his pants, and starts to shiver, when the free hand reaches around his waist to unbuckle his belt too.
"No! No, you wouldn't do that!“, Steve yelps scared, but Bucks frowns: "You better believe I will! Don't underestimate what I'm willing to do, to bring Steve back!“, he pulls down his captive's trousers, making him gasp, "It's just tough luck for you, that you didn't bring any lube. That's gonna sting real bad. But hey, know what they say: blood works too!“ Steve anxiously starts to pant, pleading: "No, please Bucky, you couldn't do that! You would never...“ "I'm not too good to use your own methods against you, Hydra bitch!“, his friend interrupts angry.
Steve's heart stops. Just for a second, everything loses it's meaning: the pain, the fear, the cold of the concrete wall, his panic, Bucky's rough grip on his body. He turns around swiftly, surprising his captor, but catching the look in his eyes. And it breaks his heart. Numb against everything else, Steve whispers: "Oh Bucky, no!“ "Those tricks don't work on me!“, his friend yells, turning him back around, pressing his body against the wall, the knife close to his eyes again, before growling into his ear: "Final warning before I start fucking the shit out of you! And don't think I'm just being metaphorical, I had to do it all, and much worse, there is definitely nothing you can do to turn me off, asshole!“
Steve cries. He wants to struggle, feels like throwing up, clenching his butt and legs to protect himself. And can't decide what's worse: Having to endure being raped in a dream, or having to live with it standing between him and his childhood friend for the rest of their lives. And so he whimpers: "What if I'm telling the truth? Will you be able to live with that?“ But the Winter Soldier just scoffs: "I know what's real and what's not, you can't confuse me anymore! I already felt something was wrong with you, when you acted so terrified last night.“, he smirks, "You should have just said you had a headache, instead of showing me what you fear, dumbass!“
"I don't want you to do this, Bucky!“, Steve yelps, "Not just for my sake, for yours too! Please don't do this!“, and when he feels his friend reaching down to start jerking himself to get hard, he stares at the drawing on the concrete, and howls: "Please, do you really want to do this? To me? Here? Do you wanna taint your memory of this place?“ "What memory, you stupid Hydra bitch?“, his friend snaps, and Cap cries overwhelmed: "Steve plus Bucky 400!“ To his relief the man on his back moves away a little, and scowls in a curious voice: "What? Say that again!“ So he quickly rambles: "Steve plus Bucky 400 in a heart, right here, under the ivy! Your Steve wrote something sweet for you, here! Do you really want to do this to his body, right next to the writing? Please, reconsider!“
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Cap's teeth clatter and he's shaking, feeling cold from the fear and the sweat on his exposed body being fanned by the night air, but gathering his hopes, as Bucks steps away another foot to the left, using his free hand to brush over the ivy. And uncovering the drawing, a bit washed out and spotted from the little roots clinging to it, even after he rips off the plant. And then Steve can see his friend's face, very close, examining the graffiti in shock, his mouth open to breathe: "No way!“ Then he turns back to him, angry and confused, pushing him against the wall, but facing the little sharpie scribble, to ask: "How? How did you draw this... How did you do this just now? HOW?!“
But Steve blurts: "I didn't, you told me he did! I was looking for it and found it, before you shot at me! Please Bucks, I just want to get you home, I want to help you, I promised...“ His friend now uses the hand with the knife to cover his mouth quickly, the other still next to the doodle, and demanding: "Shut up! Stop! Stop it right now! No... no, no you couldn't... how...“, while turning white with fear. Now Steve furrows his brows, and struggling to free his mouth, asks: "Why do you think I drew it just now, you said it's our special place! And why should I draw it? I don't know what 400 stands for!“
Another train is rumbling above, but this time Steve understands his buddy, when he stares at him in horror, explaining: "It's not 400! It's forever! A four and the infinity symbol... His special little doodle for me! But we've never been here before! I said that to test you, it was a trap! Why is this here?! How did you do that?“ He looks less and less sure of himself, starting to shake a little. So Steve straightens himself up, able to free his bound arms a bit, and wants to persuade him again, when he suddenly realizes something. And he tells him in a confident manner: "It's here because I expected to find it! Because you told me, I drew something, I found it! And it looks this way, because that's how you imagine it.“
"What the fuck are you talking about?“, his friend asks, pressing the knife against his throat again, but looking at him with pleading eyes. The train passed the bridge, and now the night's silence surrounds them anew, letting Steve repeat for the umpteenth time, but calm and collected now: "Bucky, this is a dream! You created this world, but now that I'm in it too, I can change it as well! And that's why the drawing appeared! I had no reason to doubt you, that's why it's real.“
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