"Hey Steve. Wake up.“, Rogers hears, as someone gently shakes him by the shoulder. He opens his eyes and sees Bucks kneeling by the bed, only illuminated by the hall light shining through the half open door. Steve is still a little confused, that he is waking up inside a dream, half remembering the chaotic things he saw. Like Francis being part of the Howling Commandos, or Bucky and himself getting married in a cemetery, both wearing white dresses, while Black Widow was watching them in her uniform, talking in a strange language into a walkie-talkie. He's a bit embarrassed, and has to twist his tongue a few times, to get the bad taste out of his mouth, that you only get from going to sleep without brushing your teeth.
Again amazed at the precis details of this world, he asks himself frightened: 'What if it is another universe? What if going under just teleports you to another dimension, and all of this is real?' "Seeing you're not feeling well, I figured we just order pizza tonight, hope it's fine with you.“, his friend informs him. Steve rubs over his eyes and responds: "Uh, sure. No problem.“ "Is there anything special you want?“, Bucks asks, "I already ordered, but there's enough time to add something.“ "No thanks, just the usual will do.“, Steve quickly says, sitting up. He's trying to find a way to speak to his friend, tell him about the truth, as much as it hurts himself to say it.
But then his gaze falls back on the nightstand, where the untouched glass is sitting, next to a colorful drawing and another sheet of paper. "What's this?“, he asks curious. Bucky turns on the little lamp on the nightstand, and informs him: "The kids wanted to show you their achievements, and I told them to just put them next to you, so you'll see them when you wake up. Kheial drew a picture of you in kindergarten, and wants to know, if you like it.“ Steve picks up the crayon scribbled page, and looks over it. Two very stick-men like shapes are depicted, one little and held in orange, with a green torso and blue legs, the other tall and pink, with a blue uniform, and a dark blue apron, holding up an egg shaped disk, colored red and white with a blue star in the middle. The figures are holding each others knobbly hands, standing on fizzy neon green grass, a huge pink and purple butterfly flying over them, and a yellow sun shooting its rays from a corner. And everyone is smiling, even the butterfly.
Steve has to smile too, asking: "What's that on the apron: 'Kill the cook'?“ Bucky smirks and replies: "Well, he got two out of three! Can't blame him for better knowing how to spell kill than kiss, after all.“ It sounds a bit strange to Steve, but he doesn't know how to respond, so he just turns over the paper, seeing that it had been folded previously. And then reads what an adult must have written on the front of the card the artwork is supposed to be: 'Happy Mother's Day to Steve Rogers. Drawing by Kheial Barnes-Rogers, May 10, Butterfly Group, Saint Patrick's Nursery'.
Steve has to chuckle at the absurdity of seeing their names joined like that, but also gets a little bitter about it, and looking at Bucky he asks: "How come he only drew me?“ His friend sits down next to him, slightly amused, telling him: "Well, they did say, draw your mother for Mother's Day, and apparently they also had a discussion about what a mother does for her children, so he put an apron on you. According to Sharon, the kindergartners had quiet a laugh at Captain America in a cooking uniform.“ Steve is a little uneasy and remarks: "Well, just because I'm a bit more homely perhaps, I mean... he does call me Daddy, didn't he think that's strange?“ Bucks furrows his brows a little, and tries to remind him: "Well, sure, but technically he's right. After all, you are their mother.“
"But I didn't give birth to them.“, Steve replies, a bit taken aback by the statement. Only to feel a horrifying sensation crawl over his back, when he sees Bucks concerned look, thinking: 'Oh dear God, don't say I did! That's just messed up, don't say you did that to me, please!' But when his friend assures him: "Yeah, but you're signed in as the mother, remember?“, he feels stupid, recalling how foreign the names and faces are, and that of course they must have adopted the children. Or better, Bucky made up they had adopted two kids somewhere along the way.
Steve tries to sound casual, wiping over his forehead: "Right, right, sure. Uhm... why was that again?“ But his friend looks confused, only to smile at him and state matter-of-fact: "Because gay rights aren't a thing in Afghanistan, and I was quick enough to sign first! But let's be honest, the way those officials were organized, they'd probably have given us a marriage certificate too. You didn't know what you were signing anyways.“ Steve wonders over this. Does his friend mean he tricked him into it? Because deep down he knows, this could never happen? And that he had to say it: 'Gay rights aren't a thing in Afghanistan.'
But in America they are now. Cap hardly ever thinks about it, but it's actually something strange. Two men can have babies together, raise a family, and it's okay. 'Because it should be.', Steve ponders, 'They should have the same rights. But I can't be like this. Then again, Bucky wasn't supposed to be like this either!' Shaking his head, he picks up the other paper, and scans over it. "Oh, uh, a spelling test. Hm. So Roya got a B, that's good!“, he reckons. He catches Buck's startled expression, before his friend starts to laugh: "Yeah, pretty good. She's really proud. So remember to congratulate her!“ "Mhmm, will do.“, he promises.
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Cap then thinks, maybe now would be a good time to talk to his buddy about the whole situation. While he's calm and relaxed, not under any stress or deadline, just the two of them sitting together talking. 'He must have noticed, that this is all news to me!', Steve hopes, and wants to address it, when he hears a doorbell ring, and the children downstairs cry: "Babbi, Babbi, pizza is here!“ "Coming!“, Bucks calls to them and gets up to move, so Steve silently curses and follows him, still holding the two sheets of paper in his hands. Coming down the steps he watches as his buddy moves to the door, but doesn't open it. Instead, he stands a little to the side, to open the cover over the little peep hole, and wave his hand across it. Then he instructs the kids: "Roya, can you and your brother please set the table for me?“ "Okay. Hi Daddy!“, the girl chirps and waves at him when she turns to skip back into the room with the scratching post.
Only then does Bucky move to look through the hole, while the doorbell rings again. This sight seems much more familiar to Steve. When dealing with spies or assassins, you never want to just answer the door, even when you expect someone. And before you answer, don't stand right in front of it, because that's where they'll shoot first. Or they'll aim at the peep hole, and once they see it's been opened and someone moved in front of it, they'll shoot you right between the eyes. It was sometimes hard for Steve to lay off that behavior after a mission, but Bucky never did. He ate, slept, and breathed in high alert, always. At least his Bucky did. Now he was just being careful, to show him everything was under control, the way he'd done with the lock on the bathroom door. Just like old times, doing everything he could to make Steve feel safe and comfortable. It still moves him.
"Daddy, can you help me with the cups?“, the girl calls over, and while Bucky is busy paying the pizza boy, Steve decides: 'Oh, what the heck!', and moves to answer the call. His daughters call. It feels weird. But also a little exciting, as he walks into the dining hall, seeing even more cat furniture, and also some blankets and a dog basket on the left, and a plain, sturdy table standing in the middle, with four chairs seated around it. Behind it, big windows going from top to bottom, and a glass sliding door lead to a patio and a backyard lined with kids toys, surrounded by a high fence for privacy.
"Daddy, are you coming?“, the girl asks a little impatient, and when he looks over to the right, where her voice is coming from, he looks at a shiny steel kitchen. Clean and organized, dinnerware, glassware, and more lined up in cupboards with neat windows, counter in what appears to be black marble, and with a cooking island under a range hood, kitchen utensils hanging from it. Steve is held in awe by the practical modern design, that must have cost a fortune to install. A kitchen that could only be rivaled by that of a professional restaurant or the one Stark had. He can actually feel himself get giddy with the desire to cook in such a kitchen. Until he remembers, that this is just a dream that will never come true.
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Clearing his throat he continues his path, until he's standing next to the cooking island, eyeing the little girl that is waiting for him, standing on a stepladder in front of the cupboard with the glassware. He's about to go and open it to hand her some cups, when she suddenly smiles and asks: "Did I do well?“ "Uh, with what?“, he replies confused, making her look a little unsure as well, clarifying: "The test. I got a B!“ "Oh, yeah, right, right.“, Steve remembers, placing the papers on the counter. And looking over the sheet with the bright red B circled at the top, he remarks: "Yes you did really good! A B, that's very good, you can be proud of yourself. Uhm, congratulation!“ The girl gives him another shy smile, and wants to know: "Are you proud of me too, Daddy?“
"Kheial, can you please come guard the pizza, I don't want Albert eating half of it again!“, Bucks shouts behind them, placing some cartons on the table, so Steve hurries to assure her: "Yes, of course I'm proud of you! Uh, Roya. Yes, I'm very proud, you make me very proud.“ He hopes that's enough to get on with the task, and wants to turn to grab the cups, but the little girl still continues: "I worked really hard for it! I wanted to make you proud!“, and she looks up at him with big eyes. It's so touching, that Steve now goes to bend down, smiling at the kid and saying: "And you did it! See, when you set your mind to it, and you work hard, you can achieve anything!“ Her eyes light up, and Steve can't help himself, he pats her head and assures her: "But just so you know, I'll always be proud of you! You don't have to achieve something to make me proud, I'm already proud of you.“
"Yes princess, we're proud to have you as our daughter!“, Bucky suddenly buds in behind him, taking the girl in his arms and raising her up to give her a big kiss, making her giggle. Then he playfully scolds her: "Now quit stalling, I thought I asked you to set the table?“ "I wasn't stalling, I can't reach the cups, and Daddy didn't set them down for me!“, the girl argues, so Bucky instead turns to him with a grin to say: "Aha, so it's Daddy's fault? Steve, you have to stop spoiling her, she's well capable of carrying a few cups!“
"Babbi, which one is mine?“, the little boy asks from the table, and so Bucks yells over his shoulder: "The one with the long writing on it! But don't start yet, you have to wait for us, okay?“ "But I'm hungry now!“, the boy argues, and one of the dogs starts to whimper. Steve quickly gets four glass cups from the cupboard, and places them on the counter, while Bucky lets down the girl and turns back to the table, warning: "Kheial, we talked about this! Wait till everyone is seated. And don't feed the dogs of the table, it's very bad for them!“
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Steve tries to think up what he should do next, when his eyes are caught by two colorful pieces of clothing, hanging on the wall. He walks up to them to find they are actually cooking aprons, and there are not two, but four of them. One big blue one has 'Kiss the cook' written on front, with the dot on the I forming a flame. A smaller blue one, fit for a kid, is right next to it, half hidden under the big one. It also has text, reading: '...and his lil nugget!', with something that could either be a gold, or a chicken nugget, in bright yellow with a bit of gold glitter depicted underneath.
Next to them are two bright pink aprons. The large also reads: 'Kiss the cook', with the difference of the dot being a heart shape here. And the little pink one, Steve has to examine closer. It must once have read: '...and her lil muffin!', with a chocolate cupcake, decorated with white frosting and colorful glitter sprinkles underneath. Only the 'her' has been changed into a 'his'. The embroidery isn't as closely stitched as the original text, but he can see the effort the person made. And he wonders, if it is his own craftswork he's admiring here. Because Bucky always hated everything to do with laundry, from sorting it to washing, over ironing or folding, right down to any needlework that had to be done.
Even when they had to fight in the war, if he had a loose button, he'd ask Steve to take care of it. Which he gladly did. Some of the other soldiers had been surprised, and tried to mock them for it, but Cap brushed it off, saying they always worked together under the premise that everyone should do what they are best at to help the other. And after all, when they had been sharing rent, Bucks was only too happy to take the responsibility of keeping the apartment clean, dusting, mopping up, doing the bathroom, and such. Steve was content, since he was prone to exhaust himself, trying to do it all in one go, and the dust could trigger his asthma. And just as he remembers all this, he suddenly wonders if that was why Bucky wanted him to do laundry instead. Keeping fair shares, but still giving him the stuff that was easier for him, not because he hated it, but because he wanted to help him without making him feel less capable.
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"Daddy sit down, I wanna eat!“, he hears the boy whine and his friend adding: "Yeah Steve, come sit with us, so we can have dinner together.“ He turns round, embarrassed to see the little family sitting around the table, all set with a box of pizza and a glass of water before them, looking over to him. Blushing overwhelmed he excuses himself: "Sorry, I was... just lost in thought a little.“, moving to go and take the last seat. He almost makes the mistake to open his box to signal they can start, when the little boy, sitting next to him, grabs his hand. And then he sees the girl reaching over to him, holding hands with Bucky, who already reached across to also hold the boys hand.
Steve quickly extends his free hand, again feeling a lump form in his throat, when he realizes that this is a family, sitting around a table with joined hands, probably getting ready to pray before enjoying a meal together. A family that he is an important part of. And that is completely fake. He feels tension rise, as the others look at him attentive, as if expecting him to say something. But then Bucky saves him again, telling them: "I would like to start tonight. So... I'm thankful, that my family is safe, and that we are all healthy.“
Then he turns to Roya, who picks up the thread excited: "I'm thankful my dads are back home, and I'm thankful they are proud of me, and I'm thankful Kheial and I are safe, and that we got to play so much with aunt Sharon!“ Steve thinks he is next, as they'd been moving clockwise around the table, but the little boy just cries: "And I'm thankful for pizza!“, making Bucks snicker. But then they really do look at him with anticipation. He quickly tries to think of something inconspicuous, but his partner already thanked God for a safe and healthy family. So what could he say? But then, looking over at his best friend, he just states: "And I... I'm just happy to be here! I'm thankful, that I'm alive.“, hoping to get the idea into Bucky's head, that sometimes that is all you need, because it is all you get. Even if it hurts. "Amen!“, the others answer, and the children quickly let go of his hands, to open their cartons and dig in.
Steve also opens the box, that was marked with 'Daddy' in blue sharpie, to look at his dinner. He's a little confused. Back when he'd been growing up, meat was expensive, and fish was too, so eating them was a luxury he didn't have every day. But once he had landed in this time, where it was so cheap that it didn't seem like indulgence to him anymore, he'd adopted the diet most Americans would practice, eating it almost daily in some form or another, and at times more than once. He knew it wasn't really healthy, but it didn't affect his super metabolism negatively, so there was no need to be restrained. He therefor is a bit bemused to only find vegetables on his pizza.
But as he looks around, noone else his having any meat either. Bucks is digging into his large mushroom pizza with onions, tomatoes, and peppers, the girl is eating her kiddy pizza with broccoli, corn, tomatoes, and black olives, and the boy also has one with olives and corn, but basil and mozzarella as the other toppings. Steve thus simply picks up his cutlery to try some little bites of his adult size veggie pizza with broccoli, peppers, onions, and artichokes. He's astonished he actually likes them. Expect for the artichoke, which doesn't really surprise him. He can even get that Bucks and him, being parents of young, impressionable children, would want to lead by example and not indulge unhealthy fast food on the regular, and even then opt for the least fatty variant. But artichokes?
He shakes his head a little, trying to chow down the good greens without complaining, but still wishing, he didn't need to eat them to keep playing his part. The large Saint Bernhardt moves up to sit next to him, slowly wagging his tail, expecting some scraps to fall off his cardboard plate so to speak. But Steve doesn't give into the dogs begging, as not to cause it to adopt it as regular behavior. And just as he's chewing another pleasant bite, really tasting the pepper and the onion, he wonders again: 'Why not? I could just throw everything on the floor and walk out! It's not real, I don't have to be considerate. But... why do I still feel like I do?'
The boy suddenly demands: "Daddy, can I try some?“ "Hm?“, Steve looks over to him, "What do you want to try?“ "That there! What is that? Can I try?“, the boy repeats, pointing his fork at one of the artichokes. Rogers smirks and offers: "Sure, if you like, try one!“ "Can I have some too?“, the girl immediately chirps, and Cap lets them both shovel up one of the vegetables with their silverware, explaining: "They are called artichokes. If you like them, feel free to take more!“ "They are good for your heart!“, Bucky chimes in, giving the boy a confirming nod, as he starts chewing on the plant.
'They are good for your heart.' 'Mom said, you had a heart attack.' 'Thought I'd lost you, punk!', Steve remembers all of a sudden. And it touches him again, thinking how it had always been a problem before the serum. Him and his stupid weak heart. How he'd have to watch out because of it. Always tending to its needs. As did Bucky. Was this really the regular he'd have? Or did Bucks add the topping, either out of subconscious routine, or open concern? When he sees the children digging in, excited at this new dish to them, he sheepishly also helps gobble up the last of the artichokes, before returning to eat the rest of the pizza with more grateful satisfaction.
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