"Okay, you can stop now!“, his friend suddenly tells him, withdrawing his hand. "Huh?“, Steve replies, not budging, still shaking in place, tense. But he feels Bucky getting of the bed, hears him take some tissues, wiping his hands, and open the wardrobe. And then feels him throw the dressing gown on him, repeating: "It's okay. You can cover up.“ Steve half turns, taking the garment to put on, a little relieved, but stares at his friend, who just puts on a bathrobe himself. Then he looks at him again with sad eyes. Cap is confused: "But... but honey...“ "Stop. Just stop it.“, Bucks blocks with a raised hand. Steve is still perplexed, and when it looks like his friend wants to turn and leave he pleads: "Wait! Please... what did I do wrong?“ He can see his partner flinch, but then he looks at him again with the sad face, musing: "You did nothing wrong, Stevie.“, to sit down on the foot of the bed, away from him, looking at his feet.

Then the White Wolf starts to reveal: "I know you're not my husband.“ Steve gets nervous, and half throwing off the coat again, gives him a big smile: "But of course I am! Honey, I love you!“ "Please!“, Bucks now pleads, close to tears, shocking his friend. And then continues: "I know you're not. I know you aren't Hydra either.“, he looks away again, "I thought you were at first. And then I didn't want to believe it. But by now I know who you really are. I just didn't think you would actually take it this far!“, he turns away completely, whispering ashamed, "You must really care for me, if you're willing to endure this.“ Then he starts to cry. Just sits there, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks, sniffling a bit, not facing Cap. Who feels his heart break again, and aching assures: "Of course I care about you! Bucky, I love you! I'm really Steve!“

"I didn't say, you weren't.“, the other replies quiet, "I said, you are not my husband. You are not the man I married. You are not the boy, who fell in love with me, when we were only ten years old.“, he looks at him again, "You're not the guy who was jealous, every time I had a gal over, because he wanted to be with me instead. You're not the man who saved himself, because he only wanted to sleep with me, and noone else!“ Steve gulps uneasy. His friend goes on: "You're not my husband. You are just Steve Rogers, my childhood friend, that lil punk who always got in trouble, because he wanted to prove himself to others. The guy who was willing to risk his life to become a supersoldier. The man who would have gone and married Peggy, if he didn't crash into the ice on that suicide mission.“, he wipes over his eyes, more bitter, "You're Captain America. That macho symbol of justice and patriotism, and you're here, because it's the right thing to do. You're just trying to save another lost soldier.“, he averts his eyes again, "But I'm surprised you would go all in like this, just to show me I'm worth it to you. I guess you do love me, in a way.“

Cap gets nervous. He can see the bitterness and the desperation in his friend, and worries, that he wont be able to get him out, now that he saw through the charade. Steve's hopes of Bucks wanting to leave out of free will sink. He also fears he wont be able to fool him a third time. "What gave it away?“, he wants to know, "I thought for sure you believed in me! I really tried my best to be like him! Where did I go wrong?“ Bucks sighs and tells him: "You made one mistake early on, that kept me on my toes. Right when I woke up. I first hoped it was just a silly mistake, but after that, whenever you acted unexpected, I put it on watch, and so, I finally understood what must have happened.“

"But what was it?“, Steve demands, and his friend tells him: "When I woke up, and you were acting all caring and relieved, you called me darling! We never call each other darling. That's reserved for the kids. And then you started asking me all these question, to make sure I still knew the answers! Yeah.“, he gives him a tortured smile, "The way you acted, when I told you our safeword was 'safeword', so you couldn't forget it. You remarked how thoughtful that was, taking care of you to protect you,“, Bucks looks right into his eyes, "when it was You, who came up with the entire concept for Me! You wanted to give me all the control. Because even though you were the virgin, I was the one they abused, and you wanted to make sure, you couldn't get carried away and harm me in the process.“ Steve just stares at him dumbfounded. His friend turns away once more, rubbing over his eyes, trying to keep it together.

🌟

Then Cap tries to persuade him: “Well, that would be something I would do! I care for you!” “But not like that!”, Bucks interrupts. “You don't know that!”, Steve retorts, making his friend stare, “I mean, sure I didn't think like that, not before, but, like, if you need that...” Bucky closes his eyes ashamed, making Cap plead: “I can try! I'm... Please Bucky... I love you! I do! Please, I... I just want to make you happy, really! Please let me try!“ But Bucks just keeps crying: "I don't want to go back. Please don't make me go back, Stevie! I was happy here!“ "But it's fake!“, Steve argues. "I don't care!“, Bucks gives back hurt, "It felt real enough, and I was happy! Look, I know it could never be true, but... just let me dream. Please Steve... Let me be happy, just this once.“

Steve hugs him tight, crying at his shoulder, startling his friend, as he begs: "I can't! Bucky please, I don't want to lose you again! Not again!“, he rubs over his back, wailing in his ear, "At least give me a chance, Bucky! Please, if you really hate it so much, you can still go back, I know Shuri won't erase anything! If you want to go back, this world is still going to wait for you. But at least let me try and make you happy!“ He looks deep into his eyes, holding his shoulders in a tight grip, promising: "I'll do everything I can to give you, what you need! I mean it! Please, you just have to be a bit patient, I've never done this before, and I'm nervous, and scared, but... I mean you saw it, I'm willing! I'm willing to try, really, you just have to give me a little time, you know, take it slow, but I'll do this!“

Bucks stares at him in disbelief, but Steve assures him: "I know, I was so terrified that one night, and I'm still not that comfortable, but I feel okay touching you, and holding you, and kissing you, it even feels nice, just let me try, please! If that's what it takes, if you need it, I'm all for it! I'm all in, like you said, I mean it!“ "I don't want to rape you, Steve!“, Bucks gives back, half shocked and half disappointed, but Steve shakes him, getting desperate: "But I consent! Just, just give me time, I really want to give it a go, I mean, I have nothing to lose here, honestly, it's just something new, but I love you, and I trust you, just take it slow, so I can adapt, okay? Please Bucky!“ Bucks shakes his head, closing his eyes. Steve also closes his, beaten, defeated, and hugs his friend closer, crying.

"I don't want to lose you, Bucky! Please, I'll do anything it takes, just come with me, please!“, he tries once more. But his buddy replies: "I don't want some pity sex from you! And besides, what about your happiness? How are you supposed to meet a nice girl, if you have to act like you're with me? No Steve. I don't want to abuse you, just because you can't let go.“ Cap desperately sighs: "Why don't you want to believe me? No matter what I do, no matter what I say, you just don't want to listen!“ His friend gives him an appalled look, but he insists: "It's like you already decided you can't be happy with me, unless it's inside your mind. What did I do, to give you that feeling? When did I hurt you so much, that you wont even let me try and make it up to you?“

Bucks is getting irritated, and gasps: “Stop acting like I'm the one rejecting you!” “But you are!”, Steve insists: “Why can't you believe I want this? At least give me a chance. Anything! Give me a task, or something, to prove that I mean it, that it's worth it, anything!“ Starting to get angry, Bucky growls: "Okay, fine! I'll give you something. You get one question, and if you get the answer right, I'll come along. But you only get one try!“ Cap looks at him, and stubborn agrees: "Alright, shoot!“ Bucks looks away, like he has second thoughts, but then smirks and crossing his arms huffs: "Okay, then answer this: what's my favorite position?“

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Steve stares at him, confused first, but then in realization, and starts to furrow his brows, nervously wringing his fingers. Bucky adds: "Go on, take a guess. But I'm not going to let you find out first hand!“, then quieter, "So you don't need to be scared of that.“ "I'm not.“, Cap replies, really meaning it, but his friend doesn't even look up to meet his eyes. Steve is searching his mind, while his friend gets up, musing: "Look Steve, you might as well give up now! Either fire your shot, or leave. Hey, if you can make it so that my Steve returns, you can force yourself to watch and find out. But I don't think that's possible. And don't even try to fool me again...“

🌟

Bucks is getting ready to leave, but Steve wants to stop him: "Wait! I... I don't know, what it's called...“ "Of course you don't, but I'm not giving you hints!“, the White Wolf scoffs, turning away, but Steve gets up, holding his shoulder to beg: "But wait, can't I show you? Please!“ Bucks rolls his eyes, trying to tell him off: "Come on Steve, don't drag it out! I'm not doing you!“ "I know, but please, I think I know it, just let me show you!“, Steve insists. When the White Wolf sees his friend's determined face, he shrugs and agrees: "Alright. But remember, you have one try! If you get it wrong, you're going to leave! Is that clear?“ Steve only hesitates a second, before he nods: "Yes. Now, please!“, and points back to the bed. So Bucky goes to sit back down. He raises his brows curious, when Steve joins him, kneeling on the mattress and demanding: "Okay, lie on your back.“ "Steve, I'm not doing it with you! And even if I did...“, Bucks wants to argue, but Cap interrupts: "Please, will you just let me show you?“

So his friend goes to lie down in a comfortable position, barely covered by the bathrobe. Steve gulps a bit, but still moves to stretch his leg across his body, to position himself on his lap. He flinches when his thigh touches the bulge under the bathrobe, and he feels very exposed, positioning his naked butt on his friend's crotch, but even though Bucky chuckles, he stays focused, asking: "Okay, can you give me your hands?“ Amused, Bucks extends his hands, and Steve puts them on his hips. Then he starts to explain: "So, you lie like this, and the other person is sitting on you, and you hold them like this. And...“, embarrassed, he starts to move up and down, slowly, "They move their hips, and you hold onto them. Or you move to the back, and pinch their butt.“ He repositions Bucky's left, making him raise a brow, as his friend, turning a darker shade of red, goes on: "And you slap them a bit, now and then.“ Then he winces, when Bucks does it, asking: "Like this?“

Steve nods humiliated, feeling his body turn hot as he keeps moving up and down, even though he feels his friend twitching, but he just continues explaining: "And your right sometimes moves over the front of their body, like this.“, he takes his hand, rubbing over his chest, trying to ignore the feeling it gives him. Bucks now looks less smug, starting to pet him, while his left has a firm grip on his rear. Steve starts grinding down on his crotch, making him raise his brows astonished, but explains: "And they do this. And you... Uhm, sometimes you pet their lower region too. Ah-hand...“, he stutters, when Bucky lets his hand wander down, even though he stops, a little above Steve's penis, which is getting pumped almost as much as his friend's.

Cap is very embarrassed and becoming more tense, but stubborn, he keeps describing the sex position: "And, you buck your hips now and again, and then, you put your left up, and, uhm...“, he takes his friend's hand to rubs his own cheek, letting go, when Bucky also reaches up to pet his head, wiping some hair out of his eyes, "Yes, you do that! And, ah, and you like it, if they pet you too!“, he caresses over his chest, opening the bathrobe, to stroke through his chest hair, making Bucky's eyes widen more, but also leaving him gasping, as he picks up speed, and when Bucks moves to knead his neck with his left, he bends down a bit, explaining: "And then you pull them closer, so you can kiss, and moan in their ear!“

And when he rubs over his friend's lap once more, pushing the robe aside and freeing his erection, that presses against his thigh, while his friend's right moved back to grab his buttocks, Bucks suddenly groans: "Oh baby!“, half closing his eyes in pleasure. And Steve beams at him, exclaiming: "Yes, just like that!“, before being silenced by a kiss. But instead of shying away, he leans into it, even extending his hands to wrap around his shoulders, holding his friend closer, kissing back, as he feels himself tensing up more, getting hard, breathing heavy, unsure but determined.

But Bucky pushes him away abruptly, staring at him with wide eyes, and asks shaken: "How? How can you possibly know this?“ Steve is surprised first, and so when his friend puts both hands up to cup his face, pleading: "Please, tell me! What's going on?! Stevie? Are you my Stevie? Please, what's happening, how... why?“, he just looks down almost as moved as his buddy, but asks back: "So, I got it right? Are you going to come with me?“ However, Bucks drops his hands, letting them fall back on the bed, and holding back tears, turns away, growling: "Why? How did you do this?“, and back at Steve with a glimmer of hope: "How can you know, if you're not him?“ Steve, still tense at the prospect of either getting his friend back or having failed, bickers with himself, before finally revealing: "I used to watch you.“

🌟

Bucks gives his friend a confused look, and half sitting up, making Steve pull back a little, he asks: "You what?“ “It started as an accident. You left the door ajar, and I needed to go to the bathroom one night. So I saw you do it. I didn't understand what it was first, I thought it's always the women on their back and the men on top. But I watched on a bit, and then I understood.", Cap confesses, feeling his cheeks burn up, “I was a bit angry after that, but it was also... intriguing. And after that, when I heard you had a girl over, I... I sometimes went out, to... check up on you. I was still jealous, but it was so interesting. And so, I watched. A few times. And I know, you did other things with them. But this one, you always did, and usually at the end. At least you both parted ways after that.”

Bucky stares at him amazed, so Steve wants to rectify: “I did try and ignore it, but I always knew when you had a girl over. And at some point I just had to go and check. I'm sorry. I didn't want to peep like that, and I always felt guilty at confession.” His friend still shakes his head a little and demands: “How come you still know every detail? Did you watch every time?" Steve tries to remember properly: “No, just a couple of times. After that... I just played it back in my mind. Whenever I heard you. I was lying in my bed, and... just imagined it. While I, I was, touching, uhm, myself. I'm so sorry! I felt dirty afterwards too, but I mean come on! It's not like I ever got to have anything remotely similar for myself, ever! I was so jealous. And sometimes I cried afterwards."

Bucks furrows his brows, staring at his buddy with a mix of confusion and compassion. And then asks: “And the girls? Which ones did you watch me with?” Steve blushes more embarrassed, stating: “You know, I never even thought about that! I have no idea who it was. I didn't really pay attention to them. I can't even say, what kind of hair color they had. Or if they ever said anything to you. I just know, how your face looked. How you moaned. How your hands touched them. And how your... your cock would slide into them, disappearing and re-appearing under their buttocks. And that aroused me." He gulps uneasy and has to look away. Bucks is staring at him with big eyes, confirming: “So, actually, you were really just watching... me?"

Grabbing his own head, Steve sighs as the realization suddenly hits him like a club: "Oh my God. I'm gay.“ He closes his eyes humiliated, smiles and beams back at his friend. "I'm gay! That... Bucky, I'm gay!“, he exclaims, "That's why I was jealous! I didn't want them to do this with you, but I wanted to see you! I wanted to see you looking like that.“, getting even more excited, "And I wanted to be the reason! I... oh my God, Bucky, I'm gay for you! I wanted to be the one to make you moan like that!“ "Enough Stevie! You had me at 'I'm gay'!“, Bucky chuckles overwhelmed, wiping his eyes. “So, uhm, now that we both know that... will you please come with me? Please?", Steve pleads, giving Bucks an open look. His friend wipes his eyes once more, unsure if he's holding back a laugh or tears, but smirking decides: “Yes. Yeah, you passed, I can't argue with that! And, wow. Well, I guess that could make for an interesting reality!"

So Cap gets back of his friend, closing his dressing gown, but this time fights back the shame as he lets his eyes wander over Bucky's body, while extending a hand to help him get of the bed too. And he doesn't flinch back, when Bucks comes to stand right in front of him, their bellies touching, their receding erections still tactile. Instead, Cap puts his hands on his best friend's hips, pulling him closer once more for a long relieved hug. While petting over his back, Bucks asks: “Wanna know something?" Steve just replies: “What?"

“While you were in your bed, jerking off to my image...", he tells Cap, making him blush more, to reveal, “I was having sex, while thinking of you! It's one reason I like that position. Because it was easier to imagine doing that with you. I didn't have to feel their boobs all the time, and I couldn't just pile myself onto you, if we ever did that. And no wonder you hardly remember them talking, I didn't like that, because I wanted to dream about you, and not be reminded of them." He pulls back, looking at Cap with a fond smile, closing: “Maybe I even left the door open on purpose.”

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