By the time we got to school, we had all heard the news. The school district sent out an email to our parents announcing their new procedure to “protect the rights of parents to raise their children,” which included requiring teachers to “share and consult with parents on any matter that impacts their son or daughter’s health and development.”
“What do you think is making them send out something like this?” Kevin asks, scratching his chin.
“Well, if you look past all the waffling, it’s clearly designed to prevent kids from keeping any secrets from their parents,” I hypothesize. “So… any one of you got something that a teacher knows about you, but your parents wouldn’t?”
“Why would I tell my teacher something my parents don’t know?” Ashley asks, crossing her arms.
“They’d know many of my thoughts on the world from grading my essays,” Ruth says. “But I doubt that’s the kind of thing they’d feel the need to share.”
“Good thing Charlotte’s parents know about her being trans already,” Kevin comments. “This would be a really awkward way for them to find out.”
“Could be worse than awkward,” I say. “Imagine if she was from a family that was really anti-trans, and then the school told them she's going by another name and whatnot. This is honestly a really stupid policy.”
“Oh, true,” Ashley says. “Some kid from an abusive family somewhere’s probably gonna get the shit beaten out of them because of this.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re already done with all of that, right Ashley?” Zoe responds nervously.
“So are all of your parents aware of your sexual orientations and stuff already?” Kevin asks.
“Yeah, Dad knows,” I say.
“I don’t think my dad knows, but how would any of my teachers either?” Nova asks. “I’m dating a girl! If one of them saw me going at it with a guy, maybe, but I don’t even know anyone here who’s into that.”
Suddenly, Zoe gasps loudly and tenses up. “Oh…” she says weakly, before covering her mouth with her hands.
“What?” Ashley asks anxiously.
“Collin…” Zoe says. “He and Jason got caught by a teacher…”
“Oh no,” I say.
“Here we go again…” Ashley says darkly.
Zoe says nothing else on the subject, instead hastily bringing out her phone.
----------------------------------------
This sends Zoe into a tizzy that I suspect is going to continue the whole day until she’s able to go to her parents’ house after school and try to mediate things.
We ultimately leave the library so Zoe can find a quiet practice room in the band hall to call her brother before school. I leave her to it, figuring that she can catch me up on what they discuss throughout the school day.
Unsure of what to do in the meantime, I leave the band hall. I see a familiar face as I get to the entrance to the fine arts hallway; Charlotte has arrived at school. She sees me from across the hall and gives me a serene smile and wave. I intend to go and say hello, but unfortunately someone else gets to her first.
“I have good news everyone!” Terra is calling. “Freaks like this are gonna get what’s coming to them! It’s a joyous day!”
Sigh. To think that of all the shit I have to deal with, she still has to be part of it.
“Just leave me alone, please,” Charlotte says firmly.
But Terra’s outburst has already caused a stir, as many heads turn towards them. I decide I should intervene.
“Hey Terra, riddle me this,” I call out. Terra looks at me at once with an instant look of annoyance, and I see many heads of the bystanders turn to me as well. “If the goal is to protect children from grooming, why is it that the only thing that ever gets accomplished is the bullying of those same children?”
“You call it ‘bullying.’ I call it my last ditch desperate effort to save you,” she says maniacally.
“Save her from what?” I challenge. “Being happy with herself?”
“...What?” Terra asks, frowning, looking thrown off. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s the real reason you hate her, isn’t it?” I continue, pressing my advantage. “She still comes to school with a smile every day despite everything that’s happening. She’s more confident in her womanhood than most cis-women I’ve ever met. She’s the opposite of you. You’re miserable, and you have no idea what to do about it except try and make everyone else like you.”
Terra’s face is rapidly turning red. “What makes you think you understand a single thing about me?” she questions.
I shrug. “Takes a mean bitch to know one, I guess,” I say. “You can only rant at someone in the hallway so many times before they start to figure you out, you know. Any time you’re challenged you lash out, because you’re afraid of losing the illusion that you have any power. That’s why people like Charlotte live rent free in your head. Well, I’m done giving a shit about your rehashed, regurgitated opinions, and I can tell you based on the short time I’ve known her that Charlotte never did. You’re an insecure young loser who acts as a cartoon caricature of your ideology because you don’t have any real beliefs.”
“EXCUSE ME?” Terra screeches. Looks like I found the self-destruct button. “How DARE you. I have been bathed in the blood of the lamb and unlike YOU I have never taken that for granted! Every day I wake up and get out of bed because THE LORD CALLS ME TO IT! And for you to SUGGEST that everything I do every day, every prayer, every stand I take, ISN’T REAL? IT IS ALL I AM! And maybe YOU don’t understand that because you’d rather LIVE in this DEATH! That girls can kiss girls and boys can become girls! And you even have the GALL to suggest he’s MORE of a woman than me! WELL HE DOESN’T KNOW THE DAMN FIRST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN, BECAUSE HE ISN’T ONE! WHAT DOES BEING A WOMAN HAVE TO DO WITH SMILING? WOMANHOOD IS SUFFERING! THE IGNORANCE THIS MAN DISPLAYS EVERY DAY BY ACTING LIKE JOINING US WILL MAKE ‘EUPHORIC’ IS DETESTABLE! IT’S AN INSULT AND I WON’T STAND FOR SHIT PEDDLED BY THE ENEMIES OF GOD AND ALL WHO ENABLE THEM!”
“Hey! Who is yelling over here?” a woman’s voice says.
Everyone, Terra still panting and red in the face, turns at once turns to the voice, which is that of Principal Gibbs, a tall, middle-aged woman with a stern, freckled face, blue eyes, bright blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, and a business casual jacket and tie accompanied by a long skirt. She looks between Charlotte, Terra and I with a scowl.
“Terra was,” I say coldly. “She may need to see a counselor before class.” Then, without looking back, I grab Charlotte by the elbow and lead her away.
----------------------------------------
After all the drama, we decide to step outside into the pleasant warmth for a moment before class starts. Zoe will be upset if I show up to English class angry, so a little relative peace and quiet seemed like a good idea.
“She, uh. Wow,” Charlotte stammers. “She has… issues. Nice jacket, by the way.”
“Thanks,” I say, feeling a surge of pride. I bought this jacket with Christmas money that’s made out of the same material most blue jeans are. I thought it would make me look cool.
“Smarties?” Charlotte offers, holding out two wrapped up candies.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
“Tssk, tssk. What would Kevin say?” I tease, as I take one. Charlotte giggles and looks dreamy for a moment while we open up our wrappers. By the time I’ve put the first one in my mouth, Charlotte has dumped the whole thing in, which she chews up with loud crunching sounds.
“Not to be mean, but I don’t know how she has any friends,” Charlotte comments. “Then again, I’m one to talk, I guess.”
“Why? You do have friends,” I point out.
Charlotte says nothing to this, but simply smiles and blushes a little.
“Yeah, I’ve decided I’m done giving a shit caring about what people like her think,” I say.
“Did you ever?” Charlotte asks, puzzled. “I mean, you’re a strong girl, right?”
I feel a buzz of annoyance as I chew up a candy. “Of course I didn’t,” I say. “But now I’m… extra done. You know what I like about you, Charlotte?”
“Uh, what’s that?” Charlotte asks nervously.
“You don’t give a shit. People hurl this transphobic shit at you, and you just kinda shrug and keep doing your art stuff in the corner.”
“I mean… yeah?” Charlotte says. “That’s all I can do, really. Or, you know, it was.”
I nod. “And aside from the occasional supernatural foray, I suppose all I can do is try and keep my grades good and further myself as a musician. Do you think you’ll be a professional artist someday?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Charlotte answers. “Honestly, I don’t know if work suits me. Being a housewife sounds like the perfect life for me.”
“Well, that’s hard to do nowadays, given the rise in cost of living,” I comment. “But maybe if you marry someone with a cozy job, it’d be possible. Do you… see yourself with a man in the future?”
“Yeah,” Charlotte says. “If any man will have me…”
“Don’t be silly. Men are obsessed with trans women,” I point out. “Uh, not always for the right reasons though. So be careful.”
“Yeah, that’s what worries me,” Charlotte says gloomily.
“Honestly, I thought that most trans-women were lesbians,” I say, thinking of Lucy. “It makes sense, right? If you want to become feminine, that’s also what you’d find most attractive.”
“I guess I just don’t see it that way,” Charlotte replies. “My attraction and my envy are… clearly distinct.”
“For whatever it’s worth, I’d have no problem dating a trans woman, hypothetically. If she were my type, that is,” I explain. “I’m attracted to girls, not just vaginas. That’s something that guys, uh, don’t always get.”
At this point, our heart-to-heart is interrupted by the ringing of the bell. I bid Charlotte goodbye, and find Zoe to walk with her English.
----------------------------------------
Hey. What do you call a gay kid whose teacher snitches on him? Homeless.
…Damn, that wasn’t funny. Then again, I don’t really think anything I say is ever funny. I just say them because… idk. Okay, this is getting too deep, let’s just get to the story.
I ride home from school with Zoe. She decided that… she wanted to be there, saying she doesn’t want a repeat of last time. Well, her being there last time didn’t stop anything, but whatever. I’d rather have her there.
I spend the car ride wondering if they know yet. Then, as we pull up to my house, I recognize our uncle’s car out front. I think they know.
“Ready to go in?” Zoe tells me, squeezing my hand.
“Yeah. Okay, fine,” I say. “Let’s just get this over with.”
So like the worst thieves in the world, we walk through the front door. In broad daylight, no less.
My parents and uncle are all in the living room. Despite the both of us immediately getting a look like we’re the last people in the world they wanted to see, Mom and Uncle Harold at least try to fake a smile.
“Zoe, how nice of you to stop by,” Mom says stiffly. She gets up from her chair and comes to give us a hug.
That’s, uh, not exactly what I expected.
“Are you, uh, keeping up your grades?” Uncle Harold asks nervously.
“Yeah,” Zoe says with a brave smile. “School’s been going well.”
“Glad to hear it!” Uncle Harold says, speaking too quickly.
“Not that we aren’t glad to see you kids,” Dad begins, “But we were just having a conversation about some municipal policies we believe were… hasty.”
“Wait. Huh?” I say, feeling dumbfounded. “Are you, uh, taking our side???”
“Sides? Oh goodness no, there are no sides here!” Dad says in a measured way. “We only wish we had been informed before the implementation of policies that may get us into criminal trouble…”
“Criminal trouble?” Zoe questions, frowning.
“Hey! Zoe’s here!” Derrick’s voice rings out. My second-oldest brother obliviously lumbers into the hall with his hand outstretched.
“Hey Derrick!” Zoe says cheerily, taking his hand.
“How’s band going?” he asks.
“Oh, good! Especially for Ashley,” Zoe explains. “She made the all-state band! I’m so excited for her!”
“As a freshman?” Derrick rolls his eyes. “What a freaking try-hard.” He turns to our parents as if hoping they’ll agree, only to finally notice the tension in the room and suddenly adopt a serious expression with his hands folded in front of him, like a goody-two shoes kindergarten kid walking through the hall.
“Well, I won’t keep you from spending quality time with your children,” Uncle Harold says, hastily getting up. “I’ll be-”
“Hold up. You’re not getting off the hook this easily!” Dad challenges.
“Honey… not in front of the kids,” Mom says out the side of her mouth.
“Abram, my brother, I didn’t anticipate something like this!” Uncle Harold says defensively. “And I’m certain you didn’t either. You would never simply allow something like this…”
“Allow it? Of course not!” Dad chides. “But anticipate it? I mean, look at the kid! Of course we anticipated it!”
“I’m right here, you know,” I say sarcastically.
“Wait, what are we talking about?” Derrick asks.
“Nothing, Derrick,” Mom says in a hiss.
“What did you mean about criminal trouble?” Zoe asks calmly to Dad.
“Ah, yes. I suppose this is something that may affect you as well… so fair warning,” Dad says. “There’s a bill the Texas state legislature is voting on today that would classify teaching your children to change their gender and sexuality a form of child abuse. A long overdue move…” he says in a growl. “But, those folks you live with were to be caught in the crossover, you should know that your mother and I would welcome you home. Is what I WOULD say!” he suddenly explodes. “Except my brother has gone about making our case MUCH more difficult, so sadly I can’t make a concrete promise at this time.”
“Child… abuse?” Zoe asks, her face going white.
“Well you guys should be fine then,” I point out. “Nobody’s taught us anything.”
“So why did you have to go and do that?” Mom says, looking at me hurtfully.
“I’m guessing you got a message today from Mrs. Sato?” I guess.
“You’ve put us in a very difficult spot!” Dad chides. “And you’re right, we certainly did not teach you to do any of this! Do you think that because of what your sister did, you’d be off the hook as well?”
“Do what, kiss a girl?” Derrick asks, looking puzzled. “Wouldn’t that be good if he did it?”
“Derrick, you’re not helping,” Mom tells him sharply. “Go back to your room.”
“Alright,” he says. Derrick slumps back to his room without further ado.
“So you never listened to me all those months ago, then,” Zoe says, her voice calm but clearly disappointed. “When I told you that sometimes, these things are unchangeable. Don’t try and blame me; there’s nothing I could’ve done to cause or prevent it. It’s nobody’s ‘fault.’ All you can do is learn and do better. Don’t put Collin through the hell you put me through.” She puts one arm around me.
“You say that,” Dad challenges. “But we know that you two were always closer to each other than your older brothers.”
“Maybe there’s a reason for that,” I point out.
“Look at what you’re doing with your life, while Patrick studies to become a pastor, and Derrick has already made varsity football!” Dad continues. “And here you are… spiritually lost. You’ve wandered off the path your mother and I set you on. And now… there are going to be consequences.”
“I still believe in God, and in the redemption of Christ,” Zoe says firmly. “I feel stronger in my faith now than ever before. Because I’ve seen how our pride holds us back. I see a place in the kingdom of heaven for all those you’d rather vilify. I see hope for all those you’d allow to die in the streets. And I see a lifetime ahead of me as God’s hands in the world. It’s… all I can think of when I picture my path forward.”
“Uh, yeah! What she said!” I say sheepishly.
Mom sighs. “Let’s not fight about this, please,” she begs defeatedly. “Please just… allow us to finish our discussion with your uncle. We have… much to work out.”
“Uh, sure.” I say. “Wanna come to my room?”
We hear a scratching sound coming from the backdoor which makes a glowing smile form on Zoe’s face.
“I think someone else may want to join us too,” Zoe says cheerily.
“By all means, let the dog in, please,” Mom says tiredly, hand over her face.
Which Zoe is only too happy to do. So Zoe, Shadow and I retreat to my room. We talk about what happened as Zoe aggressively scritches his thick golden fur. And we get to the Skype group chat right away to let everyone know about this law that’s supposedly being voted on…