Yawn… another boring day at school… except this time it’s NOT boring! Some demented predator could be around any corner… I need to keep my eyes peeled. Trust nobody. Not even myself…
Passing through the band hall, I run into Ashley. Because of course I do. Who else would be here first thing after the doors are unlocked, already getting into her locker?
“Hey there Ash!” I greet her cheerily. “Library today?”
“Not today,” she answers dourly. “I need to practice. Region band tryouts are tomorrow, you know.”
“Oh, right. That,” I say. Trumpets, trombones, and horns audition tomorrow. (Today is flute, alto sax and percussion.) I’m signed up too, but I’m not taking it that seriously: I mainly only did it so I could skip class. “Welp, see you at lunch, then.”
She nods, and then takes her French horn into one of the practice rooms. I make my way out of the ba- wait, what? Hold on a sec…
While I’m about to leave, I see something… funny. Through the window to Mr. Castro’s office, I see him in there with Mason, the blonde guy in my section. And they seem to be… hugging?
I freeze in place. No. No way… Mr. Castro seems like such a great guy, he can’t be…
Wait, no, he actually can’t be. The blogger said that he was targeting a girl, and that doesn’t fit Mason’s description at all. Still, it is weird for a teacher and a student to be hugging… I wonder what that’s all about?
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I’m the first to get to the library this morning. I feel very restless and fidgety… I grab one of the pillows sitting on the armchair, cradle in my arms, and start compulsively squeezing the sides of it.
I probably could do homework this morning, I think I have something due tomorrow, but I really can’t focus right now… I really want to talk to someone. I hope that someone other than Anja is the second to get here…
I’m in luck, because it’s Zoe who gets here next. That’s perfect, Zoe is usually pretty good to talk to about this stuff.
“Good morning, Nova!” she greets me pleasantly, sitting in a chair across from me. “Are you alright this morning? You’re breathing really heavily.”
“Uh… yeah,” I reply awkwardly. “I was wondering if… we could… um, if you… Can I ask you something?”
“Oh? Yes, of course,” she agrees, peering at me curiously.
I look around… nobody else is nearby, except for that one chubby Latina girl who’s always here, and she’s always so busy reading or something she can’t hear us. “I, uh, it’s about Anja. Do you think that she likes me?” I say very quickly.
“Oh, of course she likes you!” Zoe answers. “I mean, you too always have so much fun together!”
“No, I mean like, do you think… she’d want me as her boyfriend?” I clarify.
Realization comes across Zoe’s face, and she starts giggling, which I really wish she wouldn’t since I’m already embarrassed enough. “Oh, I see… awwh, have you got a crush on her?”
“Well… yes,” I say in a very small voice. “You can’t tell anyone, okay?”
“But you should ask her out!” Zoe urges me excitedly. “I think you two would make for such a great couple!”
“You do? Really?” I ask, feeling a wave of happiness from her approval. “I mean, Anja is just so cool… she makes me smile so much, and… oh yeah, for me, wearing glasses is a huge turn on… I don’t know why people think they look ugly… she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s cute, she’s a gamer, she’s… perfect, and I feel so good when I think about…” I stop, suddenly realizing how much I was rambling and feeling embarrassed. “So, uh, yeah, I guess I have a crush on her.”
Zoe is giving me that sorta lovey-dovey look. “Wow, that is so adorable… you need to tell her how you feel!” she reiterates.
“I mean, yeah, but… will she say yes?” I question, feeling really nervous. “I mean, she’s like my best friend, so if she doesn’t… things could get messed up between us.”
“Oh, I understand… that’s how I felt before telling Ashley, too,” Zoe comments. “Except that was way worse because I was also afraid she’d hate that I am a lesbian… clearly I was wrong, but that was a really nerve wracking thing to tell her!”
“Oh, true,” I say, “It must have been way worse for you… but yeah, like, how do I know if she likes me or not?” I question. “There was one time, when we were fighting that manticore, she gave me a kiss on the cheek… that means she likes me, right? But then… if she does like me, why hasn’t she said anything yet?”
Zoe looks thoughtful. “Hmm… Well, usually girls don’t like to tell guys they like them… they want the guy to come to them first. It’s what’s traditional.”
“But Anja and I are both bisexual!” I argue. “Why would that matter? If this were some alternate timeline where I was a girl, what would she do then? Would both of us just never say it?”
“I doubt that it’s something she’s consciously thinking about like that,” Zoe reasons. “And it’s possible she’s not really sure if she likes you yet… that kiss could’ve just been a way of testing it out and seeing what you did.”
“What do you mean she’s not sure?!” I question furiously. “Is it really that hard to figure out?”
“Girls can have pretty complicated emotions,” Zoe explains solemnly. “Me realizing that I was in love with Ashley confused me six ways from Sunday…”
“Man, fuck girls,” I joke. “Fine, I’ll just go date… uh… fuck, there aren’t any gay guys at this school!”
“Well, there might be one or two we don’t know about,” Zoe speculates. “I mean, between Ashley, me, Anja…and Anja also has an ex somewhere… that’s four gay girls, right? And at the middle school, my brother found out that boy he likes is gay… they’re going to see each other this weekend, actually!”
“Guess it makes sense that the few gay people in town all end up knowing each other,” I comment. “Well, anyway… thanks for talking to me about this. I’m glad it’s off my chest… it’s been driving me crazy all morning. I had this really nice dream about her, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
“Oh really?” Zoe asks, curious. “What happened in your dream?”
“Uh… it’s not important,” I dismiss, blushing. I see Anja coming into the library. “Shh… she’s here,” I whisper to Zoe in warning. “No more about the crush thing.”
“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Anja greets, plopping into the seat next to me. “I can’t stop worrying about that Tumblr thing… make sure you all keep your eyes peeled for any teachers acting suspiciously. Especially one of the coaches!”
From there, we get into a regular conversation, which for some reason is about food categories today… however, a few minutes into it, I get a vibration in my pocket, and see that Zoe messaged me with “Ask her out!” I shake my head at her… I’m too nervous to do it today… but yeah, I guess I need to do that soon…
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Etude two, measures twenty-three and twenty-four… I run this passage a few times, focusing on air support to make the high notes pop out effortlessly. I also need to check the tuning on that last long note…
Oh, oops. Right as I played that last note, someone in another room played a note a half step away. I wasn’t really able to check the pitch. Bad luck. I’ll just play it again.
…The same thing happened a second time. Unusual… let me try it again.
Okay, what the fuck. Someone played the entire passage I was playing a half step away! This is clearly purposeful. I set down my horn and charge out of my room. I look through the windows into the other rooms… Yep, I knew it. Mason.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
I throw the door open, and he just sits there smirking at me, his trombone leaning against his shoulder. “Madame, please! I already paid my taxes!” he begs in a mocking voice. “Oh why must you interrupt my critical practice session to extort me even more?”
“Shut your god damn mouth. I’m not stupid, I noticed what you were doing,” I tell him bluntly. “Any more of this and that trombone is going somewhere you won’t want it.”
“Damn, epic Ashley moment. You sure showed me,” he mocks. “Please madame, you don’t understand how important it is that I learn the second horn etude a half step away!”
“Oh, can it, will you?” I growl at him. “Mason, tell me this. What is the point of this? All of this? It’s just childish at this point.”
“What’s the point of you acting like a massive bitch all the time?” Mason challenges me.
“I don’t know if you’ve caught onto this little fact, but I’ve been going through a lot of shit this year! I really don’t fucking need you continuing to agitate me on top of all of the anti-gay bullshit.”
Mason sighs, and his expression softens. “Right. Yeah, I know,” he admits. “I’m sorry.”
I blink, surprised. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting you to actually back off.”
“I don’t care about you being into girls and stuff,” he explains. “But you really need to learn that whatever stuff you’re going through in your life, it’s not an excuse to be completely unlikeable.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion. In fact, I never once have,” I deflect. “I’m going to go back to practicing. How about you do the same?”
“Nah, I think I’m done for today,” he says cockily, taking his instrument apart. “I think I got this.”
“Whatever,” I reply, shaking my head. I go back to my session, and try to forget about the irritation I feel from that exchange…
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Hey, everyone. My name’s Kevin. As part of track & field, I have to get to school early in the morning and do some laps around the school. Most kids wouldn’t want to get up early, but I like it. Really gives you a chance to enjoy the cool air, and just spend some time in God’s wilderness. (And by that, I meant that there are a few trees planted around the school which I run past.) I live for the simple things in life. Of course, recently the air has been a little too cool for some people- now that it’s November, it can get all the way down to the 50s in the morning. [Note for international readers: 50°F is about 10°C.] Maybe it’ll even snow this year… haha, just kidding. It never snows in Texas. [Author’s note: I SWEAR that I wrote this before the severe cold snap that happened in Texas in early 2021. I didn’t intend that as a joke, but I guess it is now.]
After our morning jog, we have a little while to take a shower and change in school clothes before school starts. This part of my day is always a bit… weird, because of some of the conversations that can happen in the locker rooms. Guys act a lot differently when they’re in a group of only other guys…
They are having a pretty, uh, upfront discussion of different girls in the school and the sizes of their breasts. I don’t really see what the point is, so I try and just tune it out… that is, until I hear a familiar name get brought up.
“…Yeah, that’s Ashley Davis. I think hers have to be at least D-size… not bad for a girl who’s pretty thin,” one of them is saying.
“Wait, hold on, huh?” I awkwardly interject into the conversation. “You guys are talking about Ashley?”
“Oh yeah, that’s right… you like her, don’t you, Kevin?”
“Um… kind of?” I answer, unsure of what the right thing to say is.
“Well yeah, she went lesbian, didn’t she?” a different boy chimes in. “Eh, that’s alright Kevin. She’s a bitch anyway.”
“What would you say if I told you… that I asked her to Homecoming?” I asked.
“Haha, sucker... I bet that was a rude awakening,” the second boy replies.
“Yeah… it was,” I reply. “But it’s okay. She’s in my English class, and I usually work on group projects with her and her girl. Ashley’s smart, so she pretty much does all the work.”
“Oh nice, you’re getting favors,” the first boy says.
“Uh… not exactly,” I correct, starting to get annoyed.
“Yeah, she’s a lesbo, remember? You’re such an idiot! How did you already forget that?” the second boy shouts at him. “Anyways, even her breasts are small compared to this black girl who’s a senior, what’s her name…”
I start tuning them out again, and before long I’m done showering, so I get out and start drying off. As I’m leaving, one of them is talking about this weird lesbian porno he watched. I miss some of it, but apparently it involves a cheerleading team and several bottles of cake icing. While I’m walking out though, I pass by Coach Everheart, who coaches our track team.
“Good morning Kevin!” he greets somewhat awkwardly. “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m doing fine,” I tell him. He walks into the lockers, and I notice that the talking about the lesbian porn suddenly ends now that there’s a teacher around… I set off for my first class.
I’m sure you noticed this, but those other guys are very rude and annoying. I don’t like to spend more time around them than I can help. I swear, the dirty talk with them just never ends. As much as I do enjoy women, I prefer to do so… privately. Those guys always have to make everything weird. They never even talk about the people that the girls are, which I think is far more interesting. It’s always just about their looks. Those dumbasses would date some legitimately mean lady just because she’s hot.
Well, I guess I’m not that much better. The truth is, whatever I said to the other guys, Ashley kind of scares me. The confidence that she has is very attractive, but… well, when I asked her to the dance, she was… very harsh with her rejection of me. I always feel like if I slip up while talking to her, I’m gonna get chewed out for it…
Anyways, I’m rambling. I’m about halfway down the hallway, when I run into a guy who’s actually cool to talk to; Mason Wallace. He’s walking together with Diana Coleman, who he started dating a while back.
“Hey, what’s up Kevin?” he greets me. We give each other a firm handshake.
“Oh, just got done with morning track practice,” I explain. I notice that he has a subtle red ring on his face, which band people sometimes get from playing their instruments. “Are you ready for that audition, or whatever?”
“Oh yeah, I’m gonna kick ass tomorrow,” he asserts confidently. “I’ll be the only freshman trombone to make it, mark my words.”
Diana shakes her head and rolls her eyes at him, but she’s smiling. “You’re a lot more confident than I am, Mason…”
“Oh yeah, Diana,” Mason says, jolting like he just remembered something. “We need to warn Kevin about that thing.”
“Uh oh,” I comment. “What thing?”
“Someone showed me this… horrible blog post,” Diana explains. “One of the teachers here is writing about a student… we think that he wants to-” she mouths the word ‘molest-’ “her!”
My eyes widen in shock. “Dear God… that’s horrible!” is all I can say.
“And we have no idea who it is, either!” Mason elaborates. “But… it says on the post that the guy was a sports star in high school. Maybe it’s one of the coaches?”
One of the coaches…? My heart sinks at the thought. “Man, I really hope not.”
“It’s always a coach in these stories, though!” Diana insists. “You see it all the time in the news…”
“I just hope whoever it is, he gets caught quickly!” Mason comments, shuddering. “Anyways, bell’s about to ring. Wanna walk to class together?” he asks Diana with a grin.
“You go ahead. I have to go to the lady’s room first,” she replies.
“Alright, fair enough. See you around, Kevin,” he tells me.
“Later,” I respond. I have English first, so I head in the direction of my class. One of the coaches here is a creep? That is very disturbing to think about… I want to go tell Ruth about it, but she’s probably setting up for orchestra right now, so I’ll have to catch her during lunch. What a major bummer…
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Class is starting pretty soon, so I finish off my session and pack up my horn. I feel pretty good about my etudes. I think tonight I will try and smooth out some fingerings on the second half of the third etude. However, I should keep it pretty short so I’m not too tired for tomorrow.
But then, I see something very peculiar. There is a note in my locker… curious, I slide it out and unfold the paper. It reads, “the pedophile is not who you think,” in very neat handwriting.
I frown. That’s it? The pedophile is not who I think? Who wrote this? There is no signature or anything to indicate who put this here. I glance around the band hall to see if anyone is looking at me or acting suspicious, but I don’t see anything unusual.
Well, I can rule out this note being from any of my friends. If one of them wanted to say this to me, they could simply say it. Also, I know this handwriting doesn’t belong to any of them. Zoe’s is very fancy and loopy, Anja’s is chicken scratch, and Nova constantly writes in half-cursive.
So, it sounds like there is someone else who is aware of this threat. And not only that, they are somehow aware that I am aware. The implications of this are very interesting, to say the least.
I ponder who it could possibly be while I use the restroom before class. The only other person we know is aware of the threat is Anja’s cousin Lily. And it can’t reasonably be her, as she should be in New Braunfels right now. Whoever it was has access to the band hall, so it’s likely that it was a fellow band student, or at least someone who would be in the fine arts part of the building.
Or maybe it was Mr. Castro. Being a member of the staff, he could know something about one of the other teachers and wanted to subtly warn me about it. He has always been kind to me in the past, after all. But why only tell me? Once again, whoever this is has to be aware that I am actively planning to address the problem… this brings me back in a big circle, and I begin to get frustrated.
While I am washing my hands, I see Diana walk in behind me in the mirror. She smiles at me and greets, “Hello, Ashley!”
“If you’re here to take more videos, you’re too late,” I retort. “I already finished peeing.”
“Wha- oh no, I…” Diana looks really distressed at this, which is not the reaction I was hoping for. “Okay, I’ll just… leave… sorry…” she awkwardly backs out of the bathroom.
I immediately feel very conflicted. When I thought of that remark, I imagined that she had been coming in here to heckle me and she was going to act indignant… but what was she actually going to tell me? I feel a bit guilty as I leave for my English class. Was that uncalled for? I got so used to being defensive that I guess I’ve started doing it automatically. Not to mention I haven’t forgotten how she was the one who outed Zoe and I… Still, something about the look on her face sticks in my mind. I arrive at my class feeling uncertain.