Sam… she is standing still. Unmoving. Unbreathing. Unresponsive. Uncompromised. Her eyes are open in a deathly stare, yet she stands still. She has not collapsed to the ground as a corpse should. I am so close to freedom, close to getting out of here but the door refused to get closer and the climate refuses to warm. I am on a road, not a tunnel, and yet there is no light. Looking around before every step, I make my way to Sam. She has a deep slash across her front but there is no blood dripping as there should be. I give her neck a scratch but it is cold to the touch.

BANG

Her body falls to the ground. Is she just exhausted? That might be the case. I should sleep lest sleep deprivation catches up and consumes my thoughts. I can barely think straight. Sam is so cold though; I should sleep next to her so I can be a source of warmth. Yes, warmth is what I need to be. I can save her life. She must just be in shock or too cold. Yes, if I put effort into it, I can save a life – all I must do is the opposite of what I normally would. I close my eyes and without even a millisecond of trying, I am wandering through plumes of smoke. A large cloud of black smoke consumes my consciousness and I am trapped in darkness once again – I can’t remember ever seeing black fumes in my dreams before. If I were to guess, black would mean death, right?

“Indeed, an astute guess, Fa.”

So, all it took was a little bit of tormenting and you are happy to speak again?

“Well, I merely wished to celebrate my victory.”

What do you mean by that? I have chased away the creature, right? I might have… struggled a bit but now it needs to recover, giving me at least an evening to do the same, right?

“And why would it need to do that? You damaged a little section of it. I will be honest, normal Fa would have killed this creature quickly. I saw your many plans and there is most definitely a world where I am really trying to figure out what to throw your way, but with empathy and goodness at your side? You are frail now. Easy to defeat. Simple to end.”

Am I now? So tell me, why am I still alive if that was the case – and what happened to Sam?

“Oh, the horse? The cut was caused by the clawed tentacles of a monster whose aim is to paralyze its target by exhausting them completely. It is a massive creature that can be everywhere and nowhere at once, but I am sure you have figured this all out. What you haven’t is that a scratch will completely paralyze you – including your muscles and organs.”

So… so Sam was… is… dead? Paralyzed to death? That is… did she feel pain? Or was it quick?

“Oh my dear Fa, any living being that enters these halls will eventually be punished and killed. Sam, as you call her, was more forced to enter but still chose to follow you. Almost every being dies on their first or second trip through Langnet’s road. I did have higher hopes for you but soon, the claws of paralysis and death will take their grip on your life. Then you will be eaten.”

What then? Is that the end of my torment? And you did not answer the question, was Sam’s death quick or painful?

“Oh no, no, no. For you especially, something special has been concocted. With all your memories intact, upon death, you will be reborn as a horrific monster that craves human flesh. You will keep suffering, forcing yourself to kill when you can’t bare the act. Will you die of starvation or slowly go mad, unable to go through with it? Answering your question about Sam; her death was not exactly painful but it was also not quick. She was just frozen, unable to move, act, feel or breathe until she collapsed.”

Wow, you really are speaking a lot now. Quite unusual, normally I am the one monologuing. I am quite happy about the change, I must say. So, when I open my eyes, I will be in the middle of the monster devouring my flesh and bones? Or will I already be a monster? I… am not unhappy with the idea of being a monster. At least then before I die, I will be able to help people travel across the areas.

“No, no, no! I can’t have those thoughts! You need to die sad and alone.”

I have already made up my mind. By Fael, evil be damned. I was a sick and twisted individual but now I see that I can achieve so much more. I can be the arm that helps others. I can use my ability to kill as a great benefit. As a monster, I would be able to hunt down and kill those who are evil like I was. It would be easy to find such people after all.

“NO! This is your punishment! You cannot enjoy it! You cannot find a loophole like that! You must suffer! By the four great ones, you will be punished. Fine, you shall not die tonight. No, you shall keep living on as a monster in your own right. I will not give you a second chance to do good.”

Oh… raising your voice now? What, just because I have decided that being good is a blessing doesn’t mean you have to throw a fit like that.

“You… take the win where you can, for it will be your last. The next time you walk through here shall destroy you, and then once broken, you shall beg for me to kill you. I was a fool to change my early plans so quickly.”

Since we are talking, I do have a question.

“Ask.”

Mosline; was she dying or did I kill her?

“She was perfectly fine. You killed her, brutally.”

I… thought so.

“Well, time to wake up and continue this journey on foot! No more dragging a cart across the finish line, you will suffer, having to choose what you bring and don’t. Enjoy your days, Fa. I do hope the change in scenery will be to your liking.”

Wait a change in scenery?

I open my eyes and I am deep within a dark purple forest lit up with vibrant blue bioluminescent lights. Patterns sprawl across the trees, making for a complex and endless piece of art. From each leaf to sapling, everything is a piece of art. It is… gorgeous. It is as if the ground is covered in constellations instead of the sky. Green, yellow, red, and orange leaves gently sail to the ground as a coolish wind blows through the forest, somehow wrapping around the trees instead of being stopped by them. I take a deep breath and get to my feet. Poor Sam, she worked so hard and this is her end? I don’t know how I survived but it seems that unless I am completely broken, the bastard will not kill me. Maybe he cannot transform me into a monster until I am? Or maybe the act of punishment in a way that I can see the beauty in isn’t a punishment at all. I feel bad for the bastard, stuck in this unnatural road cursing all that comes. It must be more alone than I am, waiting for someone who understands it and can handle any curse that is thrown their way. Hey, bastard. I am calm now! I was Fa Fumerunner, the killer – the murderer – the slaughterer, but now I am Fa Fumerunner, the kind and helpful. I want to spread hope and passion to those who will be willing to hear me out. I should thank you for the opportunity to start again, properly this time. So, turn me into a monster, or turn me into a grain of sand. I will always find a way to help the many good people I have tormented over my life. My legacy will be one of evil, acceptance, and joy. You have no power over me – no, close your eyes knowing that no matter what happens, I will be happy. I will be ready for anything. I will be there, ready to redeem myself for my endless evil actions. Kill me and I will return as good. That is my promise. No matter what, I will be redeemed.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“Will you now? I am most interested, how far are you willing to push that theory?”

I am awake and yet, it still talks. I suppose this is all part of the course. No matter, the answer is simple. No matter how far you take it, I will always be ready to make positive actions. I know there is no trade-off for a life, but perhaps if I make life better in ten separate ways for every murder I committed, then at least I will be neutral.

“I cannot… believe that you are saying this. The flip is potent but normally, the way it is predicted to go is that you are breaking down around about now, just like you were. Unable to forget the horrific actions you have taken while being unable to defend yourself and others around you. Listening to the terrified cries of victims slowly driving you mad. These are the things that should have happened and yet, you have decided that the best thing to do is…. Embrace the evil within you and try to grow? No, we cannot have this. You are evil. You took this path. You should be punished, not rewarded. How have you even gotten to this stage? You were right on track to be a broken husk!”

It is… will, I thought about it and realised that the best step I can take now that I am forever tied to my evil actions is to be good, not in a superficial sense but an actionable one. I can be the one who shows that even the evilest person can change to be good and hell, this might even bring others in here to see if they can change their ways.

“You… are good. You are technically good. You are good to the absolute core by sheer design and yet your words are laced with evil intentions. Do not dare to bring others in here. The curse is a warning to stay out.”

Evil? I have no such thing left in my bones. No, this is no curse. The more I think about it, the greater blessing I believe it is. How else would I be able to repent for my actions? How else would I be given even the smallest chance of reintegrating into a society that I so very lacked as a child and adult. You have given me a chance to grow and I can only thank you for that. I would be disappointed with myself if I returned to my evil ways, but in the same vein, I have been disappointed with every action I have taken in my life thus far, so maybe that is the just thing to do.

“What… do you want? I have not anticipated this response.”

I walk forward and feel a long piece of fallen bark on the ground. The tree feels… cold. The leaves feel icy. The sky looks to be cold – this is not a new location, but an illusion of kindness?

“Yes! That is exactly what this place is, although you do not care about that. I wished to torment you but nothing of the sort has happened. I would hate you for stopping me from marching your soul into the clutches of… them, but that will just not do. ‘Illusion of kindness?’ Give me a break. This was to make you feel like you had escaped except you are just walking backward and lost.”

That does seem quite cruel, but I have everything I need with me already. I am more comfortable with my mind and have begun processing the many deaths I have caused. Tell me, bast- no, tell me, oh great creature, why is it that you curse people? What is your goal?

“I… why would I tell you, Fa Fumerunner? You are a serial killer, did you forget? You have done everything, committed every atrocity and vile action under the sun. Now you beg forgiveness after giving none. My goal is to punish whoever takes advantage of a road that is a bastardisation of all things that make up the world and to break them. I have done this countless times and yet you are just… annoying compared to the others.”

Hmm, so no goal? You were just given a few places and told to play and punish? Honestly, I feel bad for you.

“You? Feel bad for me? Really?! There are no words for how much I wish you were dead right now, but alas I cannot follow through with this that for now. How… how have a curse made you strangely stronger when it should have left you a crippled mess. You hate the fact that you cannot kill anymore. Mere moments ago you were in turmoil, and the death of your dear horse should have been the tipping point!”

Well, you are right. That was the tipping point. I have realised that my strength of being a killer is replaced with the weakness of being unable to kill. Now that I no longer am struggling to figure out my method of killing, I have so much more mental capacity to move the emotions I had wasted on my inability to accept change into acceptance of what I have become. You were a fool to think that I would be forever trapped in my own head. Well, feel free to kill me if that is your wish. I have lived an awful life and either death is a salvation where all the people I have harmed can get the closure that I, Fa Fumerunner, will never be coming back or I will continue living as a monster or person and strive to help every person I can. It is your choice, oh dear watcher.

“Watcher… really, you use that name now? No bastard? Actually, I like this. You shall survive. You shall journey around using Langnet’s road. You shall try to present your lofty ideals and desire to change for the better with each person you see, only to be struck down and reminded that no matter what you do, you will forever be hated. Now, you might think you have skin thick enough to handle that but give it time. Each rejection shall chip away at your exterior. You might think this is just giving you thicker skin but I know that is a lie. When you have exhausted yourself. When you have pushed yourself to the limits in trying to help others only to be rejected and sent back down this road – when you have a breakdown because that is the last thing you haven’t tried yet, that is when I will next strike. Enjoy your life for now. Soon, you will be hating it.”

I don’t know whether to worship you for the kindness shown here or fear you for your intentions. I shall take this as a blessing, and as a chance for a second go at things. I shall exhaust every possible way of helping people until there is nothing left to do. Then, I shall return and give myself up to you. We have a deal, Watcher.

“You will survive these trips until you beg for it to stop. Deal.”

I nod. Now… the end of this trip will be quite tricky. I need to find the door, then come back and drag the cart if possible. Delivering only part of the goods would put me on quite the bad foot, especially since everyone probably believes that I have slaughtered my horse once again. No, I am a changed man now and will work hard until this is all delivered to the plane of potential. Then, I will prove the watcher wrong – I can be good! I can spread positivity! The great evil I caused can be repented for!

I eat for the first time in a long while and walk towards the door. Once I have found it, I will ferry each and every box there. Then I shall rest and open the door. I have been given a chance, and I will cease it.

I have the potential to create good. The potential to change. The potential to do anything. That is the wonder of this place, anything can happen if the potential for it too is there. Thank you, Watcher. I will prove to you that at least one person will forgive me. Or else, I shall die alone and live in constant hunger and anguish.

Plane of potential, please fulfill my wish!