I close my eyes for a moment, letting my mind wonder. I don’t want to think about any specific thing, especially after that damn voice has just welcomed be back – no, I just want to take a moment and let myself forget about this cursed road. My next destination is the plane of pastures. What should this horse be called? She is quite the strong looking steed, although still old and probably close to death. I can understand why no one would want to send just any horse on this trek, they probably expect me to kill the creature. No, I can’t bare to think of that right now – the blood, the gore, the shreeks, the loss of life NO! No… something else, please brain let me think of something else. A name! A name for this horse yes! Hmm, how about Sam? She looks like a Sam. Short for Samantha, but most definitely a Sam. I look over Sam’s well-kept fur and give her forehead a scratch. This… this feels nice. There is something mysteriously enjoyable about the Sam’s warmth. I never really cared for animals when I was… active. Unless it was a means to torment someone, they would usually escape my ire not because while I did not like animals particularly, I thought it was a waste of time and energy to kill or torture.

“Wow, are you just ignoring me? Yes, yes, Sam is a nice name. Really, is this how you treat me after all I’ve done for you?”

I slowly turn away from Sam and look around. Unlike last time, there is no purple glow to brighten up the space. Instead, the incessant purple is replaced with a never-ending darkness. There is an ever so faint firelight from a torch that was secured on the carts front, flickering back and forth. I breath out and a fog leaves my mouth – a cold breeze chills the very road I am standing upon. My shoes stick ever so slightly to the ground as I try to take a step to the side. Wait! Shoes… supplies – Savra! Where are you?! My heart pounds and I run into the cart, diving and wrench open the box in the front – there is a pile of folded clothes and perched atop is Savra in all her beauti – no… in all her cruel glory. Well, now is as good of a time as any. I haphazardly throw my clothes off and change into the fresh set. I can barely see what I am getting changed into with the only light coming from a few cracks in the cart's wood. outside of outlines and shadowy colours. From what I am gathering, these must be the absolute cheapest clothes made by a novice as practice. The seams are poorly stitched to the point where it more feels like I am wearing several squares of fabric poorly sewn together than a shirt. Sighing, I get into the pants. They are thick, combat pants. Well-made. Tough enough to trek through thick underbrush with. Damn, this is just confusing. It is like these clothes are mimicking my headspace – two completely different voices clashing on one body and trying to throw the over overboard. I toss the bloody clothes on the cart's floor – Who knows when these will be useful, especially on this damned road. I get out of the cart with Savra firmly and comfortingly in my grasp.

“Well, how are you feeling?”

Surprisingly calm.

“Well, you do look calm and a little fucked up but I suppose that is all part of the course. Tell me, how does it feel remembering each victim’s face and fate in horrific detail? How does it feel knowing that you are monster? How does it feel to be haunted by those you killed with no salvation or redemption to ever grace your sadistic self? That no one will ever see you as a ‘good’ person, nor will they ever give you another chance. How does it feel to look at your life’s work and know that you are completely worthless.”

Victims… faces… oh god I can hear their cries, their screams, their agony, their pain – make it stop! Their pleading gazes – no! The snap of bones, gurgling of blood, and desperate screams fill my mind – NO! STOP! I loved this – I should love this but I… I CAN’T! FAEL DAMMIT! The world goes black and my knees buckle.

“Good, I thought you might have been handling this a little better than anticipated.”

The world feels upside down – spinning with pulses of throbbing pain – the fucking migraine is back. I curl up into the fetal position with my hands squeezing my head, stopping my brain from popping out –it will if the pain keeps increasing like this! Something pushes against my side, something warm and slightly wet. The feeling is weird and… calming. After a few minutes of squirming, the pain begins to subside and I lift a hand and feel Sam’s head. Was… was she trying to comfort me? Me? Fa Fumerunner? I… I know this feeling – fucking tears again? God, I am pathetic, the slightest show of affection and I can’t control my emotions. I am the exact person that I would have hunted.

I stand up on shaky legs and, with my eyes finally adjusted to the absolute darkness – where am I? I wipe small shards of ice from my cheeks. My body grows cold. I shiver. It’s an endless frozen wasteland. Is this what was behind the eyes this whole time?! Just a fucking wasteland? There are trees everywhere – no, those are rocks. That’s bizarre… I can see the door to the plane of pastures what must be a few hundred meters or so down this path. Why can I see this with such clarity? It is like there is a yellow glow of sorts illuminating it but… but there should be no light! It… it looks like sunlight? Here?

“Well, you have your destination. Make sure not to get too disheartened.”

You… you have something planned. I know you do. This would be too easy.

“Me? I would never! I am a simple being with simple goals. I am just a friendly voice, really.”

Fuck you.

“Now, no need to take that tone with me. Go on, start walking. Won’t get to your destination at this pace!”

They’re right, I have no choice. I start walking forward with the rhythmic clopping of Sam beside me. The cart slowly rolls along with us – I don’t know how much more weight either Sam or the cart could take. There is just enough weight in this damn delivery that I am forced to walk once again. Please don’t die, Sam.

“Begging for someone to not die? Fa, you have changed.”

I…

“Don’t mind me, I just want to watch this play out. Do keep your knife close, I wouldn’t want something to end you too quickly. That would just ruin the fun after all this time planning and we can’t have that.”

You shit. Fuck. Being another’s plaything, being powerless to do anything to stop them – I wonder who has done that before, fuck it feels so… so awful. What if there is something behind us right now – I spin around, trying to catch a something out of place. I keep walking, and keep looking over my shoulder constantly. I need to keep an eye on everything now. The coward has something planned, and it will happen soon. I can feel it! I can taste it! The door is so close, I don’t need to rest. The Gales of Gam’la is normally an excruciatingly long trek with the sheer winds. Without the gales slowing me down, it should be a lot faster to move through but this is just… way too close. Is it just the road? Well, I should not turn a blessing down if my travel will truly take just a day or two.

Sam and other animals really are the only creatures that can be my friends at this point… if I want something silly like a friend. Sam does not know what I have done and does not fear for her life around me. She could probably sleep in my presence and does not demonize me and all of my actions, assuming that everything I do is for evil. I understand why people do that but ever since I was caught, the concept of a ‘friend’ is foreign to anything I could achieve. For my whole life, Savra has been by my side and she has been the only thing I ever cared about. She just slices and cuts so perfectly, and that one year where I got to fight in a war and legally murder people – oh it was exquisite… they all had families, friends and loved ones. I tore away all that makes them happy because of selfish orders from terrible people that had a disagreement… fuck why am I feeling so guilty – they are the ones at fault! I was just following orders. This is not even part of my criminal charges! Fucking – STOP. THINKING! I slam the heel of my palm against my forehead – OW FUCK! Ow… Good. Just keep walking forward, Fa. You will get there soon.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I walk and walk. I stop for food. I walk. I walk. I walk. The door is not getting any closer. I walk. It is frozen in place. I walk and walk but still, nothing! How far is it? Why can I see all the details of this damned door? How is it so close yet the road just keeps endlessly getting longer and longer? The damn trees are just twisted and wind-carved stone and ice. There is truly nothing here but us. Each footstep and clop of hooves echoes for an eternity. How could any creature sneak up on us in this climate? This is just fucking stupid – wait something is watching me. Is it them? No… this feels different. I need to find whatever this is. I look to the left, then right and left again – nothing. I suddenly stop walking – there is a crunch – a very faint crunch that could be mistaken as an echo of my footstep – but my footsteps are clanging on metal, not crunching on snow! There must be something here. I can hear them. They are stalking me. Finally, some fun – breathing. Deep, beastly guttural breaths. I spin around, I can’t see anything. I can hear… fuck where is it? I need a better vantage point – the cart! I scamper to the top, is it up here, waiting for me? FUCK – No… No, I am by myself. I carefully look around. I can barely tell what anything is with such little light – there. Two deep red burning coals stare hungrily at the cart… and at me. I cannot make out its body beyond that – it shifts behind a pillar of stone and ice, disappearing. It must have noticed me. Shit. Savra, help me. This is something you can draw blood from. I just… I could handle whatever this is easily but Sam cannot be harmed. She is too precious – NO FA, she is too useful! Useful! I care not for the damned beast, the fucking kind and lovely beast she is. The understanding and caring force that has walked without a question of who I am or what I have done. The one who has accepted who I am now and helped me when I was down. Fuck.

I hop off the cart. Sam and I continue walking forward. Sam is completely on edge, just like me. She looks left; I look right. Hours pass and outside of the odd echo out of place and a few milliseconds of burning coals in the frozen wasteland, nothing happens. We keep traveling and the door just does not get any closer. I have dinner and nothing. I walk and nothing. I travel and nothing. I must be stuck in a loop, completely on edge and waiting to be attacked constantly while moving towards a door that never gets closer. I can only see so much of my surroundings as well. Why do its eyes glow so much? That seems like a stupid design, anyone can see the creature coming if it's dark… wait. What if that is just a distraction? What if the creature is – I spin around. There! A shadow!

“I see you! Get out! Stop this incessant stalking and just fight me or leave us alone you fucking coward!”

The only response I get is my own echo challenging me to a fight. Fucking monsters. Monsters, like any animal or person, are native to a specific area. Unlike humans that can travel to planes and across the world, monsters are born and stuck to their native space. The plus side of this is that they evolve and are molded to fit that exact location. They know how to hunt and fight in their native space with brutal efficiency. They evolve to be immune to the many naturally occurring death traps and instead use them to hunt and trap other monsters, animals, or people. This… this must be the perfect killing machine here that cannot be underestimated. I hop on the cart's roof. I look around with all the focus I can muster. Time goes on. Faint echoes. Burning coals. Nothing. The cycle repeats and repeats as exhaustion beings paralyzing my mind. I blink and I am lying on the cart's roof, accidentally asleep. I lurch to my feet and keep looking around, spinning to take in everything around us. Fucking nothing. I can only keep this up for so long… is that what its game is? Sam has stopped walking. I hop into the cart and set up two buckets, one filled with water and the other with wheat and oats. I take the bit and put a rug over her body – when it is this cold, she will need every bit of warmth I can muster to make it through the night. If I sleep inside and lock the door shut, no matter of beast or monster should be able to reach me but Sam will most likely be killed. I can’t keep awake… what do I do? What can I do? What should I do? FUCK! Hey you fucking coward, what is stalking me?

“Oh, a question for me? What, given up already? Just fall asleep already. You know that the moment your eyes close, Sam will die. Then after you are exhausted from pulling the cart, you’ll meet her in the afterlife. You cannot defeat this creature, no one has. Honestly, you want to save Sam? Save yourself, you are going to die because of your lofty ideals there – aren’t you the exact person you’d want to kill?”

I – just you fucking watch me! I am not here to kill the monster; I am here to save Sam and finish this delivery without a single fucking scratch on the cart or Sam! I will not sleep until I have its head on a spike! I should thank you; you have confirmed my suspicions as well. You are an idiot, coward.

A guttural laugh fills the air, echoing in waves and harmonizing with its own echo. Is it the coward or the monster? I keep looking, keep snapping my head around in inconsistent locations and times between each snap – if I act sporadic enough, ill catch the little shit out.

Nothing.

Nothing nothing nothing nothing – this will drive my head in. The easiest way to kill the damn thing is to use Sam as bait and let it at her. Then I strike when it is preoccupied. That is how I would have done it but… but Sam, I cannot let her die like that – wait… wait, what if it was a monster that paralyzed Mosline. What if she wasn’t going to die and I did just kill her? What if I could have just waited and she would have been fine? Her heart was pumping and still strong. She looked fine – FUCK NO PLEASE! Tears again. Sobbing again. Was… was she another victim? The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my face goes red. I shake uncontrollably. I can’t think. My body tenses up as that damn headache comes back with a vengeance. Shadows dance around the cart. The torch I have is burning dangerously low. I cannot let Sam die. I will not! I am Fa fucking Fumerunner, I have killed so many people and monsters alike. I am feared! I will not fall to any coward who waits for me to be at my weakest! If it does not come out, I will find it!

I draw Savra and walk around the cart, keeping Sam in a constant eyeshot. I failed Mosline, I will not fail Sam. Wait, what do I mean by ‘failed’? I killed her, I was going to at some point anyway – she did not hurt anyone and deserved so much more! I – I cannot keep doing this. I cannot keep killing. I cannot keep my evil actions up. I… I feel too much guilt – my damned soul is going to split in half and leave me a defeated husk of a man. No, I cannot have this. I will not have this. I will repent for my actions and live until I can prove to the world that I am good! What am I saying? This is the ramblings of a madman – a loud neigh. FUCK! SAM!

A massive silhouette looms over Sam who nervously walks backward with eyes fixated on the monster. She has a long but thankfully shallow series of slashes across her chest. I sprint at the creature with Savra in my hand. I leap, slicing at its massive form – there is nothing here. It… is just playing with us. It could have killed Sam but just let her warn me, no this is a warning. My heart races and adrenaline surges, removing any resemblance of tiredness or exhaustion that I once had. This is not even a warning; it is a statement: It will kill us.

And a question: Can we stop it?

The shadows keep moving, lunging, and dancing around the cart as time continues. Adrenaline finally leaves my system, leaving me beyond exhausted. As I struggle to keep my eyes open. I see Sam neigh nervously once again and is ready to bolt. It draws near. My eyes flutter shut against my will. The shadows descend. Sam turns to bolt. I squeeze Savra and try to wake up – to do anything!

It will kill us.

Can I stop it?